Suited For Love

by Coleman, Lynn A.

  ❧

  Jess couldn’t wait for the service to end. She wanted to give Krispin a great big hug. He deserved love. He deserved to be loved, and with God’s grace, she would be the one to love him in the way he’d never known before. Her heart ached to be able to speak alone with him, but she knew the next few hours would be taken up with a brief reception after church and then the meal at the Steadmans’.

  Jess stood with the congregation when instructed by the worship director. The room filled with the voices of people enjoying the presence of the Lord, His praises, and good friends and family. After the benediction Jess worked her way through the congregation to shake Krispin’s hand, as well as those of the others who had given their testimonies, including Josiah Wood.

  “Hey, Jess. I’m sorry,” Josiah said.

  “You’re forgiven. And you didn’t break the computer. It was part of an encryption program to shut it down when someone attempted to get in one too many times.”

  “Oh. Well, like I said, I’m sorry. I have no idea what the penalty will be for breaking and entering.”

  “Neither do I.” Jess held back from telling Josiah that she wouldn’t press charges. Frankly, she didn’t quite feel he was completely repentant. There was a marked difference between his testimony and Krispin’s. Then again, it could be her own emotions shading the events. In either case she’d have to pray about it and ask for some wise counsel on whether or not to pursue legal action.

  She shook Josiah’s hand and moved over to the one she most wanted to speak with. Instead of taking his hand after the person in front of her moved on, she gave Krispin a huge bear hug and whispered in his ear, “You did well and gave the Lord His due.”

  Krispin pulled out of her embrace but continued to hold her shoulders. Their eyes searched one another’s for a moment. “Thanks, Jess. That means a lot.”

  “I wanted to invite you to the Sunday family dinner, but Dad says you are probably going to the Steadmans’.”

  “Afraid so. Why don’t I call you later?”

  A line was gathering behind her. “Absolutely. Talk with you later.” Jess moved toward Pastor Russell.

  The afternoon passed with the speed of a slug crossing the sidewalk. Jess left her parents’ house and returned to her own in time to receive Krispin’s phone call.

  “It’s good to hear your voice, Krispin.”

  “Jess, I know this sounds horrible, but would you skip working with the youth tonight to go out with me?”

  Jess giggled. “I don’t have to skip out. The youth have a special event with another church’s youth group so I didn’t have to go. They had enough drivers and adult supervisors.”

  “Excellent. I mean…”

  “Shh, I know what you mean. Please come over as soon as possible.” Jess ached to share all that was in her heart, everything she hadn’t spoken yesterday morning on the boat. For whatever reason she knew she loved Krispin and believed the vision she saw during church was God’s way of saying it was okay to love him. She’d been afraid of her attraction for so long. Now she could allow it to grow and become what God intended for them as a couple.

  Jess paced the living room as she waited for him to drive up. When she saw his Mustang turning in the drive, she ran out to greet him.

  Krispin turned off the engine and slipped out of the car and into her arms. “Oh, Jess.” He leaned down and kissed her.

  Jess received his kiss and returned it, cradling his face in her hands.

  Krispin broke away and held her. “I guess that answers the question.”

  I love you, Krispin. “And asks a whole lot more.” Her heart beat wildly with love and fear.

  “Definitely. Let’s go inside. This town talks far too easily as it is.”

  Jess looped her arm around his elbow. He tensed for a moment, then relaxed. They walked to her house without a word spoken between them. She wondered about his hesitancy, then thought about what he said the day before, about his parents, about their lack of demonstrative love. Was Krispin not so inclined? “Are you afraid of physical touch because your parents weren’t demonstrative?”

  “No.” He paused. “Jess, you have to know the whole truth about me before we can seriously consider a relationship. And once you do, you might not want to be anywhere near me.”

  Fifteen

  Krispin placed his hand over Jess’s in the crook of his elbow. He didn’t want to lose her, not now, not after everything he’d been through. But he knew she would have a serious problem being with a man like him, a man with a very stained past.

  “Jess, my past—”

  “Is in the past,” Jess interrupted.

  “Yes, I know. But you should know the extent of how bad it was.”

  “Krispin, you’ve already told me you were loose with women.”

  “Please, sit.” Krispin released his grip and watched her gently settle on the sofa. He sat down beside her.

  Jess sighed. “Krispin, we come from different backgrounds. But this morning I accepted once and for all that your faith is genuine. What happened back then were bad choices.”

  Krispin got up and paced. “You’re not making this easy for me.”

  “Why? Because I forgive you? Am I supposed to ask how many? Am I supposed to ask what their names were? Is that really all that important at this time? Maybe later on, after we start dating and consider…”

  “Marriage?” he supplied for her. “That’s just it, Jess. I don’t want to get involved with anyone if it isn’t someone the Lord intends for me to marry. Look, I know the Lord forgives me. And I’m trying to forgive myself, but I know we can’t enter a relationship without you knowing the truth about my past.”

  “All right. Tell me what you need to tell me.”

  Krispin sat down beside her once again. For the next fifteen minutes, he told her all he felt he should about his wrong choices and experiences, then concluded, “I’m sorry, Jess. I had no idea how God felt about marital love.”

  Jess closed her eyelids for a moment, then opened them slowly. “Krispin, I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself, and you should ask the Lord to forgive those other women for their part in the past sins.”

  “What are you suggesting?”

  “Dad told me that he never felt truly forgiven for having gotten my bio-mom pregnant until he asked the Lord to forgive her. He’d taken the full responsibility for his actions upon himself. He forgot that Terry, my bio-mom, also chose to sin. Once he asked the Lord to forgive her for the part she played in their relationship, he finally felt really free from the past.”

  Krispin thought for a moment. He’d never asked the Lord to forgive the women he’d been involved with, only forgiveness for his part. Is that why I’m still not feeling free from the past? Lord, forgive them. “I never thought about that.”

  Jess smiled. “Now, let’s change the subject. Tell me more about yourself, about your desires and dreams for the future. I want to get to know you better.”

  Krispin laughed. “You’re incredible, Jessica Kearns. Do you have all night?”

  “No, I have to work early tomorrow morning.”

  He popped up off the couch. “What time do you go to bed normally?”

  “Nine.”

  He glanced at his wristwatch. “We have two hours. Are you hungry?”

  “Nope. Just to know more about you.”

  “As I want to learn more about you. Let’s do this: You ask a question, and I’ll answer it. Then I ask the next question. Fair?”

  “Sounds fair,” she said. “What’s your favorite color?”

  “Brown.”

  “Brown? Why brown?”

  “Nope, it’s my turn.” He smiled.

  She turned and sat cross-legged on the couch and faced him. “Shoot.”

  “Well, I can tell by the decorations in your house that blue is your favorite color, which works well with your eyes, so I’m not going ask that. Let’s see.” He paused with a hum. “I got it. What was your favorite toy growing
up?”

  “Oh man, you’re going to cringe at this one, but it was a large Tonka truck that my neighbors had in their backyard.”

  Krispin chuckled. “A real tomboy, huh?”

  “Yes, plus that’s a second question, so I get two. Why brown, and what was your favorite toy, besides a computer?”

  “I like brown because it reminds me of wood, especially wood that’s been stained. I guess it’s because of the old library I’d spend so much of my time working in when I was a kid. As for a toy besides the computer, that would be my dirt bike. It was risky and adventurous. Plus my parents hated it. Mom feared I’d break a leg. Dad just hated the noise. I liked it, so they let me keep it. Obviously they didn’t buy it for me. My grandfather did.”

  Jess laughed. “I had a few of those presents over the years. I think my CDs of teenybopper music just about killed my father. Of course Grandma said it was payback for all the heavy metal rock they had to endure when Dad was young.”

  They talked until nine. At last Krispin stood up. “It’s time for me to go.”

  “Krispin, this has been nice. Thank you.” Jess walked him to the door.

  “The pleasure was all mine. Good night, Jess.”

  She leaned toward him. He reached out and combed her silky, honey-blond hair with his fingers. A knot the size of a CD lodged in the pit of his stomach. Jess reached up and brushed his face with her knuckles. A cord of warmth wrapped itself around his heart.

  Jess touched his lips with the tip of her finger. “May I?” she whispered.

  Unable to speak, he blinked his agreement. Her soft velvet lips gently pressed against his. His heart pounded in his chest—not because of wild excitement, but because it was a beautiful, chaste kiss. It said more to him than any other kiss he’d ever known. He knew at that very moment, Jessica Kearns loved him with a love so profound and pure it made him weak in the knees. How? I don’t…

  Jess pulled away. He opened his eyes. “Don’t question God’s forgiveness.” She winked and stepped back. “Good night, Krispin.”

  Krispin slipped out the door and stood for a moment or two on the small landing that made up her stairway before his head cleared enough to remind him that he looked like a fool just standing on the woman’s doorstep.

  ❧

  Jess spent an hour in prayer before going to sleep, asking that the Lord would protect her thoughts and memories in the days to come. What Krispin had shared was limited, but she knew enough of the world to know what kind of a lifestyle he had led. In thinking back on the first time she had met him, it fit perfectly with her first impression. But he was a changed man, and he was sincere. And after the vision this morning in church, combined with the impact of their first two kisses, she knew beyond a shadow of doubt God was bringing them together. By His grace, she felt certain they would be married one day.

  Thinking about that the next morning brought a smile to her face when she passed the spot in the harbor where she had run over Krispin and his kayak.

  Her day flew by quickly. It was four in the afternoon when Krispin came into the co-op.

  “Hey there, handsome. What brings you here?”

  “You.” His smile brightened up his eyes.

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing. I just thought I’d like to get a better feel for your passion with this co-op to understand you better.”

  “Sure. What would you like to know?”

  “Nothing in particular. If you don’t mind, I’d like to observe you while you work. I can check out your computers so you won’t notice me.”

  Jess laughed. “Right. I haven’t had any further trouble with the computers, but what Josiah said yesterday has me a little concerned.”

  “Everything’s probably fine, but I’d like to check on the software I installed that recorded all the transactions on the computer.”

  The phone rang. Jess answered and waved for Krispin to go to work on the computer. The voice on the other end said, “I’d like two hundred one-and-a-half- to two-pound lobsters by Wednesday and another five hundred by Friday. Can you handle that order?”

  Jess clicked a few keys on her keyboard. “Sure. What’s your name? Have you ordered from us before?” She went on with her work and continued with the order. As she finished up with her call, Tom Wood, Josiah’s grandfather, entered the co-op and engaged Krispin in a conversation.

  “Hi, Mr. Wood,” Jess interrupted. “What do you have for me today?”

  “Not much.” He handed her the inventory sheet from the holding tank.

  She read the chicken scratch of the counter. “Fifty one-and-a-half- and twenty two-pounders. That’s not too bad.”

  “Maybe not. I kept a couple for myself.” The age spots on his hands were getting larger, she noticed. His hands shook a little.

  “Can I get you a cup of coffee to warm your blood?” Krispin offered.

  “That’d be right nice of you, thank you.” Mr. Wood sat down. Jess went behind the desk and inputted his information.

  “Are we still good for payment the end of the month?” Tom Wood asked. Krispin handed him a cup of coffee.

  “If you’re tight, I can give you an advance, Mr. Wood,” Jess offered.

  “I was hoping I could hire an attorney for Josiah, what with the new charges the sheriff is going to be adding on after his confession in church. I’m sorry he went after you, Jessica. You’re a fine woman, and you’ve done a lot for us. I just don’t understand that boy. Pastor is hopeful he’s on the right trail this time. But I don’t know. I’ve seen him repent before. Only time will tell.”

  Jess didn’t know how to respond.

  “Mr. Wood, if I were you, I’d hang on to your money as long as possible. It will take awhile for the sheriff to file the charges. Plus the public defender can take care of those.”

  “I probably should. I’ve given that boy the shirt off my back.” He stopped from admitting anything further.

  “Mr. Wood.” Krispin put a loving hand on Mr. Wood’s shoulder. “Wait on the Lord for this one.”

  “I suppose you’re right. You really meant all you said yesterday, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good, I hope you stick to it.” Mr. Wood sipped his coffee and put the mug on the edge of Jess’s desk. “I’ll hold off until the end of the month.”

  “All right. Remember, if you need it, I can work something out.”

  “I’ll be fine.” Mr. Wood got up to leave.

  Krispin called out to him as the old man ambled outside. “Hey, Mr. Wood. Wait up.”

  Jess watched from the store window to see a smile break across Mr. Wood’s face. The two men shook hands and then Mr. Wood leaned into the cab of his truck. Krispin pulled out his wallet and gave him what looked to be a twenty-dollar bill. Jess laughed and went back to work. Krispin truly was a changed man. Who would pay twenty bucks for a lobster that he didn’t even like to eat, except a man with a mission to do good for others. Yes, Krispin Black, you and I are meant to be together.

  ❧

  Krispin put the large, three-pound lobster on the passenger seat of his Mustang and called Jess on the phone. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”

  “What are you going to do with that lobster?”

  “I thought about dumping it in the harbor. But then I remembered that Jordan loves these things with a passion, so I’m going to take it over to the Lamonts.”

  “Hang on; let me lock up and go with you.”

  “All right.” Krispin closed the phone and got behind the wheel of his car. He gently grabbed the greenish blue crustacean and put him on the backseat of the car.

  Jess bopped out of the co-op, her face lit with a contagious smile. “So, have you named him yet? You really shouldn’t. You could get too attached.”

  “Ha-ha. I have no intentions of naming a lobster. I feel bad for that old man. He’s been left with nothing. I think he needed money for more than hiring a lawyer for Josiah. I’d like to do something for him, but I don’t know wh
at.”

  “The church has a benevolent fund. If you know of someone in need, you tell the elders or pastor, and they give a love gift.”

  “That’s not enough. This poor man lost his house because of Josiah.”

  “Not quite. Josiah doesn’t know this, but between the church and the co-op, we managed to help Mr. Wood get a second mortgage on the house. As long as he keeps making his payments, he’s got a place to live.”

  “And Josiah doesn’t know this because…”

  “No one is completely certain he’s turned around yet. What’s really scary is that if Josiah had gotten into the co-op’s computer, he would have seen what we did to help his grandfather. He would have been a target again. Until there’s more evidence of a changed life, no one wants Josiah to know.”

  “Makes sense. Still, I think Mr. Wood is hurting financially.”

  “Maybe. He probably spent the last of his cash on Josiah before his grandson went to prison. Mr. Wood is a good man, but he’s got a huge blind spot when it comes to Josiah. You know what hit me in church was how different your testimony was compared with Josiah’s. Josiah said he was sorry. He confessed to breaking into my house and computer, but he didn’t give God any glory for the changes in his life. You, on the other hand, spoke little about what you’d done and more on what the Lord had done. It hit me then that Josiah still needs to put God first in his life. But at the time, I thought it was possibly me, unfairly misjudging his confession. Thinking about it now, I think maybe my impressions were right.”

  “Maybe, but it isn’t our place to stand in judgment.”

  “No, but we are to be wise. And wisdom says to wait and see if Josiah is being sincere this time.”

  “On that, I totally agree.”

  “We’re here.” Krispin drove into Jordan and Randi’s driveway. They were staying in the apartment above the photography studio. “Your stepmom owns this place, right?”

  “Yup.”

  “I Googled her name. She’s pretty famous,” Krispin commented and reached behind him. “C’mon, Fred,” he joked. “Uh-oh, I named him.”

  Jess let out a belly laugh. “What?”

  “Fred.”

  “Well come on, Fred, you’re going to make Jordan a happy man,” Jess called out, walking up to the doorway of the apartment.