Midnight Secrets

by Jennifer St Giles

  He motioned toward the monstrous telescope. “People deserve the tortures they let their own ignorance imagine themselves into. I’ve more important things to do than soothe the world. Come look at the nebula before I lose sight of it. The moon is wreaking havoc with my hunt tonight.”

  Hunt! Ha! If I hadn’t been such a ninny with my head filled with vampire stories, I surely would have been able to figure this out. It was the only practical answer. A huge telescope had lurked under the black shroud in the middle of the room. Clamping my mouth shut as I desperately tried to swallow my outrage, I crossed to him. I had no doubt I deserved every tortuous moment I’d spent wondering what transpired in this room.

  To learn what he did at night was something as innocuous as stargazing seemed to make a lamb out of a lion. Well, not exactly, I mused, setting my gaze on him. The shadows and the starlight intensified his dark power. Just as my hand tingled whenever I touched the dragon handles to his room, so did my body whenever near him—as if some magnetic force kept pulling little parts of me and attaching them to him.

  “Come,” he demanded. Leaning from the lone seat behind the telescope, he grabbed my hand and hauled me to the cushion he quickly abandoned. Then moving behind me, he urged me forward with a gentle nudge. “Look right here and tell me what you see.”

  Adjusting the tilt of my chin, I tried to peer into the glass. How I managed to formulate a sentence with the heat of his body pricking every nervous inch of my back, I held as miraculous as my first up close view of the heavens. “I see a misty cloud. I didn’t know there were clouds so far away.”

  “There aren’t. What you are seeing is a collection of gases in space that may very well be the womb from which future stars will be born.”

  “Good heavens.” I peered again at the fiery mists. “I suppose stars have to be born too. I just never really thought about it. This is an odd telescope.” Sitting beneath the huge tube was more than daunting. I felt like an ant peering into a tunnel the length of the Thames.

  “Currently, it’s the largest refracting telescope in existence. Thomas Grubbs in Dublin designed and built it for me a number of years ago.”

  “Then you’ve been studying the stars for a long time?”

  “Continuously for the past eight years and on occasion before then.”

  Since Lady Helen’s murder, I thought. I bit my lip, deciding it was now or never. “What happened eight years ago?”

  His green eyes narrowed, grew cooler and distant. I felt the chill.

  “I invited you here to see the stars,” he said. “Not to talk about the past.”

  “And I want to see as many stars as you can show me. I never expected to have the heavens at my fingertips. I just have some questions that need answers.”

  “Don’t you know that answering questions is like eating honey from a bee’s nest? Every sweet answer you extract stirs up more stinging trouble. Some things are better left alone.”

  I sighed.

  “I’ll make you a deal. We stargaze first then I’ll answer two questions.”

  “What if two aren’t enough?”

  He slid a finger down my sleeve and over my hand, then brushed his thumb against my palm, making me ache inside. “We could negotiate for more,” he said softly. “I’ll satisfy your curiosity if you’ll satisfy mine. Your wit, your mind, your beauty urge me to explore you as I would the stars. In infinite detail.” He leaned down, his mouth a breath away from kissing me.

  All I could think about was how he’d sent me past all thoughts propriety, past all caring of anything but my desire to satisfy my want of him. And how little I really knew of him. I turned my head to feel his breath caress my ear as he sighed. “That doesn’t sound like a promise of safe conduct to me.”

  He stepped back and laughed before answering. “Eliminating hostile advances doesn’t exclude friendly, mutual interaction.”

  The feeling akin to having a fire lit beneath the iron grate at my feet grew hotter, roasting me alive. I wet my lips. “I believe the stars await us.”

  “Coward.” He softly teased, as he stepped behind me and I shivered with pleasure.

  I stiffened my spine a number of degrees, saving me from becoming a puddle at his feet again. “I’ll have you know there is nothing cowardly about prudence.”

  “That would depend on your objective, I should think, but if the lady wants stars, I’ll gladly satisfy her. We’ll start in the east and work across the horizon to some new discoveries I think I’ve made.”

  “New discoveries?”

  “I’ll explain later.”

  More than an hour flew by as my mind fed on the wealth of information he shared, and my body’s awareness of him multiplied. From the way his voice deepened and the increasing accidental brushings of his hands and body against mine as he positioned the telescope, I thought he suffered a similar affliction. I never knew a man’s hands could be so…stimulating. The strength of them and their adeptness and care at manipulating the dials and knobs was as mesmerizing as his voice. It showed a side of him that stood in contrast to the harshness, as if beneath the rough barrier he held up against the world there was a man who deeply cared, a man who’d arranged a bath in the middle of the night for me, a man who’d…seen to Bridget’s family, I thought, suddenly realizing that was why he’d gone into the village Saturday. The doctor’s comment to the viscount when mistaking him for Sean, about meeting him twice in as many days and the health of the patients, fell into place.

  “You arranged for Bridget’s mother’s care,” I said softly.

  He stilled a second then shrugged, keeping his attention focused on the lens. “Are you interested in learning more about the stars?”

  I promised myself to return to the subject another time and followed his lead. “I had no idea there was so much to learn.”

  Looking up from the scope, he smiled slowly, somehow able to run his gaze over my whole person though we were tightly cramped in the space of one seat. Over the past hour we had progressed from him standing behind me to him sitting beside me. It had been a practical progression that suddenly seemed utterly impractical. Every nerve within me throbbed to the rhythm of his voice and the stroke of his touch.

  “There are few subjects that I find as fascinating as the study of the stars,” he said.

  “And what would those be?”

  “Curious Cassie. Are you sure you want to know? Philosophy and religion aren’t on the list.”

  “Then what? Science?”

  His gaze dropped to my mouth, lingered, then dropped further, making my breasts ache from the fire in his gaze. My eyes widened, as my mind followed his unspoken lead and the space we were in shrank. “That’s not a study,” I said as hotly as my body flushed.

  “Oh, it most certainly is. One that is as ancient as the study of the stars. Over the centuries there have been a multitude of books written on the subject.”

  “I’ve never heard of them.”

  He stood. “Not surprising, given our present culture. If you need proof, I can direct you to the bookcase downstairs that they fill. You might find some interesting reading there.”

  I swallowed. A whole bookcase? Not just a shelf? Good Lord. Standing, I slid from behind the telescope and moved away. “No. Thank you. I will accept your word on the matter and I will stay with the study of the stars, please. Given that my sisters and I are named after them, I should have taken more interest in them before.”

  Instead of letting me gain the distance I sought, he followed me. “Cassie? Cassandra?”

  “Cassiopeia.”

  He laughed. “The queen. How fitting. You’ve a queenly nature. You move and speak in such a way as to command others to follow. You’re demanding.”

  “Cassiopeia was a vain, selfish queen who caused a great deal of trouble.” I frowned. I’d decided my name was a fluke that had nothing to do with me, an oddity I’d had no choice but to forgive my parents for giving to me.

  He stepped closer to me, almost t
oo close, and continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “And you’re beautiful,” he said softly.

  I opened my mouth to deny that, too, but something inside of me wanted to absorb his wooing words, even though I knew them to be false. The resulting conflict must have left my mouth agape. He reached over and tapped my chin up. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that before?”

  Meeting his gaze, I shook my head.

  “Very remiss of them.” He studied me a moment then moved past me, going to the railing. “What stars are your sisters named after?”

  Was that all he was going to say? Remiss of them? As if the subject was of little import? When a gentleman told a lady she was beautiful, didn’t he expound upon it a little more? Or at least kiss her? It took a moment for my mind to function as it should.

  “Actually, I think it was more because of my parents’ fascination with all things Greek that led to our names, rather than the stars. I’m the oldest; Andromeda is next, and finally Gemini.”

  “I hear fondness in your voice. It must have been an awful scandal to drive you from your family. What happened?”

  Caught in my lie, my stomach flipped, making me feel as if he’d focused his telescope on me and had turned up the magnification to a burning acuity. I couldn’t seem to force the necessary lies from my mouth. I shook my finger at him. “Very clever, Mr. Killdaren, but I’m not going to let you get away with it.”

  “What?”

  “Distract me from asking the two questions you promised in our bargain. I’ve stargazed with you. Now it’s your turn to truth-gaze with me.”

  “I’d hoped you’d forgotten.” Rather than look at me, he stared out into the night and I joined him at the railing, seeing the night blanket the sleepy countryside and the darkened gardens below. Only the blackness of the maze was discernable from the rest, as if it could never really belong.

  “Tell me what happened, with Lady Helen. With your brother.”

  “That’s two questions.”

  I counted it as one and wanted to protest, but decided to argue later. “Agreed.”

  He hesitated, gazing out at the night. “There isn’t much to tell other than all of life can change in the twinkling of an eye, or a star for that matter. Eight years ago my brother, two close friends of ours, and I had plans to join the local festivities celebrating Samhain, and then watch a meteor shower the night of October thirty-first. Along the shore, south of here, is a very prominent cliff near Dragon’s Cove called Dragon’s Point. It is perfect for stargazing without the accoutrements of an observatory. Tensions between my brother and I had stretched to the breaking point. We were fool enough to fall in love with the same woman, and even more foolish for believing either of us could walk away unscathed, or escape the curse than had been laid upon us from birth. We’d thought it simple to let the lady choose, and both of us wooed her relentlessly.”

  My mind boggled at the thought. One Killdaren was more than I could handle. Two would leave a woman senseless.

  “Unfortunately, Helen couldn’t make a choice. Until that night, that is.”

  Silence followed and stretched to the point where I snapped.

  “Surely, the tale doesn’t end there.”

  “I wish it did. But you are right, it doesn’t.”

  “Then who did she choose?”

  “Neither of us. She sent Alex and me a note, separately, asking us to meet her at the center of the maze. Alex at ten that night. Me at eleven. Neither Alex nor I told the other, thinking that we’d been the chosen one. When she told me that she couldn’t marry either of us because she loved both of us and had decided she was running away to a convent so her father couldn’t force her to marry anyone else, I stormed away angry, hating Alex for what he’d done. I’d been the one to pursue Helen first, and thought he’d now ruined all of our lives. The villagers were drinking heavily at the Samhain celebrations, and I joined them before going to Dragon’s Point to see the meteor shower.”

  “And?”

  “At midnight Helen was found in the center of the maze murdered. Alex found me at Dragon’s Point and accused me of the deed. I’d been seen leaving the maze last, which of course was true since I’d met with her last. I accused Alex. We’d both been drinking and we fought bitterly, seemingly trying to kill each other. We fought to the edge of the cliff. I fell over.”

  This time, when he didn’t say more, I went to him, touching his arm. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. Alex should have let me die. The curse would have been done with, and I’d have no pain.” He pulled away from my touch and began walking. I hardly noticed his limp, for I had eyes only for his heart.

  “Come, I’ll escort you to the stairs in the kitchens, then I’ll return and lower the telescope back into place. These pulleys are deafening.”

  I’d learned the source of the wild screeching and didn’t care. “You can’t leave it there.”

  He turned, folding his arms across his chest. “Is there something wrong with the telescope where it is?”

  I blinked. “What? Who cares about the telescope! You can’t leave the story there. If your brother saved you, then why don’t you speak to him?”

  “Your two questions are up.”

  “Then I’ll negotiate for another.”

  He walked right up to me, pressing himself to me. “Would you?”

  “Yes,” I said, breathless.

  “What are you offering?”

  I looked at his mouth, thinking of how his lips had felt against mine, of the power and the passion with which he’d branded me. “A kiss?”

  “I’ve already tasted your kiss. And while worth almost any price, I’m of the mind to experience what I’ve yet to know. Just as you must have lain abed every night aching to know about this room and me, I have lain abed and dreamt of you. Dreamt of making love to you, of feasting on the lushness of your breasts, licking the cream of your skin, and tasting the very essence of your desire. I ache to know you as deeply and as painfully as I ache to move. Tonight particularly so. I offered you safe conduct and I am a man of my word, but I have limits and we’ve reached them. My bed or the stairs, Cassie?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  I chose his bed and he knelt before me, his gaze burning through my clothes. “I offer all that I am and all that I have to you.”

  Sliding my fingers from his, I cupped his cheek in my hand, feeling the rough texture of his evening beard, absorbing the warmth of his skin. “I fell in love with you the moment I saw your picture. I cannot deny you.”

  He surged to his feet, sweeping me into his arms. “You’re mine. No excuses this time.” As before, he carried me swiftly down the short corridor to his bedchamber, but this time he set me gently upon his bed. Leaning down, he set his lips on mine. Reverently at first, then more demanding as the heady desire between us ignited and flamed to a scorching fire of need.

  I pressed to him, wanting more, restless for things I’d never known. Groaning, he pulled at my buttons, impatiently pushing aside the rough wool to expose the wispy chemise that covered my breasts.

  Sitting back, he gazed down at me, running his finger across my lips, down my neck, then splayed his hand against my chest. I felt branded by the heat of his touch and the potency of his gaze. “You are so beautiful. I must see all of you now.”

  I groaned. My desire pulsed so hotly within me that I had to be afire.

  The tiny pearl buttons of my chemise flew as he ripped open the delicate cotton and—

  “Cassie! Wake up.”

  “What?” I reared up, blinking in confusion in the dark. “What’s wrong?”

  “Ack, that’s what I was going to ask you. You’re moaning in your sleep as if you were burning alive. Do you have a fever?” Bridget sat on the edge of my cot.

  Gathering my wits, I realized where I was. My room. My bed. I hadn’t taken Sean up on his challenge. I’d chosen the stairs rather than his bed, but I had dreamed otherwise.

  I grabbed Bridget’s arm, awed. “I had a dream
again!” I’d counted the one of Sean as a vampire a fluke. Now that I’d dreamed of him twice, I felt this warming sense of being normal for the first time in my life. Well, as normal as a woman could feel, having dreamt of being ravished!

  “Must have been a bad one.”

  “Oh, no. It was, well, wonderful.” And Good heavens, so utterly scandalous that I could barely think straight. I knew my cheeks had to be scarlet, perhaps permanently so.

  Bridget laughed. “You dreamed about the Killdaren, didn’t you.”

  “No, I…yes. Have you ever done that? Dream about a…well…”

  “A man and all those things you think aren’t proper to talk or think about?” She sighed. “Nearly every night since coming here.”

  “Three years? You’ve been dreaming about Stuart that long?”

  “Who said anything about Stuart?” She sounded irritated as she stood and moved back to her own cot. “We’d better sleep more now. The sun’s going to be rising soon.”

  I wasn’t about to let Bridget escape my question so easily. “Then is it Mr. Killdaren, or any of the other men?”

  She sounded as if she hit her pillow a couple of times. “No. It’s Stuart. And you can just wipe that grin off your face. Even if I can’t exactly see it, I know it’s there.”

  Smiling, I laid back down. “Why are you so prickly to him?”

  “He has this education and all. What would he want with me besides getting beneath my skirt? One of these days he’s going to go back to the city and he’d leave me behind, so it’s better I don’t like him at all than to be left with a broken heart. Now let’s get back to sleep.” She yawned, though I thought it a pretense to end our conversation rather than sleepiness.

  Once comfortable on the cot, my mind drifted back over last night and the choice Sean had issued in an almost pain-filled voice. “My bed or the stairs, Cassie?”

  It had taken every fiber of my being to choose the stairs. How could he be so attracted to a woman as simple as myself, a woman he thought to be a downstairs maid! How I could ache so deeply for him? Inside, I was still poised on that moment of wanting to forsake everything just to be with him, do anything to soothe my burning and to ease his pain. Marriage between us was out of the question.