Amelia's Journey

by Martha Rogers

  Isaac lay back on his pillow and arranged the covers across his body. “It would please me if she chose Philip. His father and I have become good friends since our firm is handling some of their business.”

  “That would be nice. He’s a fine young man. I’ve been worried that she is still entertaining thoughts about Ben Haynes, but surely she realizes that such a union would never work out, much less have our approval.”

  He leaned over and kissed his wife’s cheek. “Amelia has too much sense to become involved with a cowboy who lives as far away as Kansas.” At least he prayed that was so. The last thing he wanted to do was forbid Amelia from her pursuits, but if they included Benjamin Haynes, he may have to do just that.

  Chapter 8

  Anticipation for the evening sent shivers of delight through Amelia’s whole body. In just a short time she’d see Ben at the Farnsworth mansion where the cotillion would be held, and she and her friends would be officially presented to society. He’d been in town since Thursday, but Mama and Papa had kept her so busy she’d had no opportunity to see him before tonight. Would he still be as interested in her now as he had been over a month ago?

  With only two letters from him since he’d left, she feared that perhaps he’d lost interest, and the very thought of it filled her with dread. After all, they had only seen each other a few times, which gave them little opportunity to really get to know each other. None of that mattered now. Tonight, the last night of September, she’d find out if what she felt was real or only a fancy cooked up by her imagination.

  Despite her usual lack of concern for her appearance, this evening she took extra care with her dress. Maeleen had done wonders with her hair, and Amelia admired the effect of the upswept hairstyle with six perfect curls falling from just below the crown. She secured the silver comb embellished with six small diamonds atop her hair. It had been a gift from her father just for this night.

  “Amelia, it’s time to go.” Her mother entered and stopped. “Oh, my dear, you are beautiful. Your father is going to be so proud to be your escort this evening.”

  “Thank you, Mama. This is going to be a wonderful night.” Not just because of the meaning of the occasion, but also because of a certain Kansas cowboy.

  She followed her mother downstairs where Murphy waited with their wraps. Papa grasped her shoulders and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “You look beautiful, my precious girl. I’ll be the proudest father at the ball tonight.”

  “Thank you, Papa.” Amelia pulled her cloak together and fastened it at the neck.

  A few minutes later she sat in the carriage with her parents. Once again her thoughts wandered as her parents conversed with each other. If she could see Ben right away, she’d be able to put his name on several of the spaces for dances, that is, if he still wanted to be with her as much as she did with him.

  When they arrived at the home, the twelve girls to be presented were escorted to a room where they would assemble before the presentation. Names were checked and places assigned for presentation alphabetically, which meant Carlyle would come very close to the beginning.

  Mary Beth made her way to Amelia. “This is so exciting. I’m so glad Ma and Pa were willing to let me stay for this. Of course Mama went through hers years ago and wanted me to have the same experience.”

  That was fine for Mary Beth, but Amelia wanted to know about Ben. Before she had the chance to ask, Mary Beth said, “And you should see Ben. I must say my brother looks quite handsome in his formal clothes.”

  Amelia’s heartbeat quickened. Only a few more minutes and she’d see him. Everything else paled in comparison to being with him tonight.

  Ten minutes later the hostess for the evening lined the girls up and led them to where their escorts waited. Amelia breathed deeply and willed her heart to stop pounding as she stepped through the door to the hallway where her father greeted her.

  He grasped her hand and tucked it around his elbow. “Ready, Princess?”

  His childhood nickname sent a warm feeling to her heart. Then she glanced behind him, where she spotted Ben. Her breath caught in her throat when his gaze met hers. Amelia sent a quick smile his way and turned her attention back to her father. The whole exchange had lasted only seconds, but her father must have noticed from the frown he now wore.

  She turned on her brightest smile. “This is going to be a wonderful night. I’m so proud to have you escort me.”

  His mouth then turned up to a smile, and he squeezed her hand as music filled the hallway and the line proceeded forward. After each girl and her escort had been announced, the orchestra played her favorite piece of music.

  When all had been presented, they headed to their assigned tables. Amelia picked up her dance card to find it already filled in. She had forgotten that was the custom for this cotillion. The names of all the young men present were listed, including Ben. Somehow his name appeared twice, as did two of the others. Whoever had made out the form couldn’t have known Ben was one she wanted as a partner more than once.

  During the sets preceding the one with Ben, Amelia’s gaze had no trouble finding him and knowing where he was at all times. At the same time she managed to keep her attention focused on her partner. When it finally became her first turn with Ben, her knees shook and she could barely breathe.

  Ben smiled and placed one hand at her waist and the other on her hand. “I thought this moment would never come.” The music began, and he swept her to the dance floor with a grace and ease that belied his cowboy background.

  Heat rose in Amelia’s cheeks, but her voice lodged in her throat. She merely returned his smile and nodded. After a minute or so, she swallowed hard and found her voice. “I’m amazed at how well you know this dance. Did you learn on the ranch?”

  He lifted his chin and chuckled. “As a matter of fact, I did. Ma taught me. She said if I was going to attend such affairs, I needed to know what to do. Then Mary Beth and I practiced after I arrived here.”

  “Well, it certainly paid off. You’re one of the best partners I’ve had.” The smile remained on her lips, but a grimace filled her heart. What a stupid subject of conversation. She didn’t want to talk about his dancing ability, but she couldn’t be so bold as to tell him how much she had missed him.

  His hand tightened around hers. “I’ve missed you and wanted to come yesterday to call on you, but Ma insisted you would be much too busy as Mary Beth was getting prepared for this evening.”

  Amelia’s body became light as a feather, and she followed his steps, floating on air. He had missed her. That’s all she needed to know. They had no need for words, for his eyes told her how much he cared. The music ended all too soon, and Ben escorted her back to her table.

  He bowed toward her. “Thank you for the dance, Miss Carlyle, and I look forward to our next one.”

  After he strolled away, her heart continued to pound in her chest. Not wanting to see her parents right then, she headed upstairs to the room set aside for the young ladies to check their appearance. When she entered, several of the girls stood around Mary Beth.

  Isabella practically swooned. “Where have you been hiding that handsome brother of yours, Mary Beth Haynes? If I’d known men like him grew in the west, I might have planned a visit there.”

  Mary Beth’s laughter filled the room, and the other girls tittered and giggled. “If you had to live with him, you might not be so quick with your praise.” She glanced over at Amelia and winked.

  Isabella turned around, her eyebrows raised. “Amelia, how did you manage to get his name on your card twice? He’s not on mine until later, but I watched him, and he dances divinely.” Her sigh and fluttering lashes brought another round of titters.

  “I don’t know, but I’ve known Ben and Mary Beth since we were children. That may have something to do with it.” Amelia left the girls to their talk and hurried through adjustments to her hair and gown. The time would drag until next he held her in his arms.

  Ben headed back to his famil
y’s table after leaving Amelia. He wiped damp palms down his trouser legs, his nerves a wreck. So much he wanted to say to Amelia, but all they’d exchanged was that little bit about his dancing. A groan escaped his throat. His tongue had become thick as a slab of beef. Next dance he’d do better; he’d have to, or Amelia would never know how much he wanted her to come to Kansas.

  He seated himself next to his grandparents and mother. His mother grasped his arm and leaned toward him. “I can see why you’re so attracted to Amelia. She’s beautiful tonight.”

  “Yes, she is.” His throat filled, and he could say nothing more.

  Ma squeezed his arm. “Please don’t get your hopes too high. Like your father said once, Mr. Carlyle won’t be inclined to let his daughter become involved with someone who lives in Kansas, even if our families are longtime friends.”

  “I know that, but if Amelia returns my feelings for her, how can he keep us apart?”

  “He will try, my son, he will try, and even as free-spirited as you say Amelia is, she won’t go against her parents. She has too much respect for them to do that.”

  Mary Beth returned with several other acquaintances, all giggling like schoolgirls, but each one stopped and composed herself before rejoining their families. His sister seated herself beside him, but his line of sight followed Amelia back to her table.

  “Can’t take your eyes off her, can you? She’s been a wonderful friend these past few weeks and has introduced me as though we’d been best friends for a long time.”

  Ben grinned and turned his attention to Mary Beth. “Well, our families have known each other a long time and been friends, even from a distance.”

  “All I can say is, I hope you two get together. I’d love to have her as part of the family.” She grinned then held her hand toward the young man now claiming her for the next dance.

  Ben gasped. How could she have known that’s exactly what he wanted too? He blinked his eyes and glanced across the room to see Isabella Killingsworth staring at him. The music had begun, and he realized it was his turn to dance with her. He pushed back from the table and hurried to where she sat. He bowed and extended his hand. “I believe the next dance is ours, Miss Killingsworth.”

  She placed her hand in his and stood. “Why yes, Mr. Haynes, I believe it is.”

  He led her to the dance floor where he held her as he had Amelia. Because Isabella was petite in size, he had to keep his chin and eyes downward to talk with her. That kept him from spotting Amelia and her partner.

  Two more to go and he’d be with her again. A finger tapped his arm, and he snapped back to attention with Isabella. She batted her eyelashes again and smiled. “Mr. Haynes, it is such a great pleasure to dance with you. We’ve enjoyed getting acquainted with your sister Mary Beth. It’s nice that you could return to Boston to be her escort tonight.”

  “Thank you. We’ve had a good time on this visit.” The musicians must have added an extra page or two in this number because it went on much longer than he desired.

  “Tell me what it’s like living on a ranch in Kansas. Are there still horrible Indian raids and massacres all over the place with girls being kidnapped and men scalped?”

  “Farther west the settlers still have some trouble, but for the most part things are quiet around our part of the country. We’re about a half hour from town on horseback. Of course Sweetwater Springs isn’t Boston, but it’s a nice-size town.”

  Isabella’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, which held little interest in what he was saying. “How quaint.”

  Quaint wasn’t exactly the word Ben would use to describe the town he loved, but Amelia may think of it in the same way. He must tell her more about the ranch and Sweetwater Springs when he danced with her again.

  “I would think that after you visited your sister and saw all that the city has to offer, you would be loath to return to such a primitive setting.” Distaste laced her words and sent doubts racing through Ben’s heart.

  Amelia wasn’t the snob that Isabella appeared to be, but he would be asking her to give up a lot if she consented to living in Kansas as his bride. He’d tell her everything, even the harshness of the winters and the spring storms that could wreak havoc in only seconds of time. Then if she came, saw for herself what it was like, and still cared about him, he’d have no qualms about her coming.

  Mercifully the music ended, and Isabella returned to her table. He endured two more dances with young women who flirted and cooed with their wiles to draw his attention, but his wish was to be again with Amelia.

  When her turn finally came, Ben resolved to make this time count. Despite his body complaining of all the activity in his formal clothes, no discomfort would keep him from his few minutes with Amelia. Then he remembered the night of Amanda’s wedding.

  “I see you’ve kept your shoes on tonight. They must be more comfortable than the ones you wore to the wedding.”

  A grin lit up her face, and she giggled. “Not really, but I wasn’t about to let anything keep me from this dance. I’d walk on hot coals if necessary to spend time with you.”

  He brightened. “And I with you. I’m so sorry I didn’t have time to write more before we came back. Pa kept me so busy, and then I wasn’t sure how long it would take for a letter to get here. Mary Beth did send letters home, and the one with our invitation took a week to reach us. I promise to do better when I go back.”

  He proceeded to tell her all about the town and its people just as he had Isabella. Amelia listened with interest that had been absent in her friend. “So you see, Sweetwater Springs has none of the conveniences of Boston, and the ranch is away from town, but it’s a wonderful place with friendly people.” If she married him, they would have their own place on the ranch. He gulped and his eyes opened wide. He hadn’t intended to think along those lines this soon, especially since he hadn’t even asked her father permission to call on her.

  “Oh, Ben, I’d love to see it.”

  Now he’d opened Pandora’s box, and he’d have to deal with the situation sooner than he had planned. “I’ll talk to my parents about sending your parents an invitation to come visit next spring. Perhaps your parents will be willing to come west and visit old friends.” Between now and springtime, he’d have time to properly show his intentions, albeit by distance. Whenever he returned to Boston for a visit, he’d have to do everything he could to win the approval of Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle.

  Chapter 9

  All through the night and even into the Sunday church service, Amelia replayed her time with Ben. He did like her and wanted her to visit his home. But Papa would never accept Ben as a proper suitor as long as he lived halfway across the country. God answered her prayer for Ben to care about her, but no answer came as to what to do with it or how to approach Papa.

  The service ended, and Papa hurried Mama and her out to their carriage without his usual long conversations with other elders. After she and Mama were settled in their seats, Papa peered at her over his spectacles.

  “We are headed to the Haynes’s home, where we have been invited to have dinner. Mrs. Haynes and Ben will be leaving on Tuesday to return to Kansas.” He grasped Mama’s hand. “This will give you time to visit with Elizabeth, my dear.”

  Joy and excitement built within, but she kept her face void of any expression lest Papa suspect her feelings for Ben. He and his family had arrived late to church, so Amelia had no opportunity to talk to him before the service began. All through the sermon she was very much aware of his presence a few rows behind her.

  It was almost as if Papa had not wanted her talking to Ben, but now they were on their way to his grandparents’ house. She’d never understand the workings of adult minds, but that didn’t matter now since they were going to spend the next few hours with them. Somehow she had to find some time to be with Ben without her parents being around. Perhaps Mary Beth could find some activity for just the three of them.

  “Amelia, your mother and I are concerned with the attention you paid
to Benjamin Haynes last evening. Are you attracted to him as more than a friend?”

  Her father’s blunt question hit her square in the chest and knocked the breath right out of her lungs. She could not lie. Not only would he see right through it, but God would not honor such a misstatement. She caught a breath and faced him eye-to-eye.

  “Yes, Papa, we are more than friends.”

  “I see. How far has this relationship gone without my approval?”

  This time Amelia swallowed hard as though she could banish her fears to some remote place in her body. “We have been writing to each other, and he would like us to visit his home in Kansas.” The truth of the statement made her heart race and her hands shake.

  Her father’s eyebrows shot up, and her mother gasped with her hand just below her neck. Papa’s frown did not bode well, as storm clouds gathered in his eyes. His mouth worked in the way she recognized when he didn’t like a situation. Her hands became blocks of ice in her lap that even her gloves could not melt.

  Finally Papa spoke just before they drove up to the Haynes’s home. “When he’s returned to Kansas, you will forget him and concentrate on the young men who have a desire to call on you here in Boston. I have already given my permission for Mr. Philip Barlow to call on you.”

  Her worst fears had been realized, and she fought the tears threatening to rise to the surface. Papa would never tolerate her crying about such a thing and might turn the carriage around and head home, and she so desperately wanted these last hours with Ben.

  Although her heart ached, she said, “Yes, Papa. I understand. I’m sure Mary Beth has something planned for us that will include her brother. I can’t be rude and decline.”

  “No, you can’t. You may be friendly while he is here in his grandparents’ home, but once they leave on Tuesday, I want to hear nothing more about Benjamin Haynes.”

  Amelia could only nod. No words would pass the lump that sat in her throat like a piece of hard coal. An afternoon she had anticipated only minutes earlier now loomed as one that would break her heart and dash all hopes Ben may have had about speaking to her father. The time she had with Ben now became more important than ever if only she could get through it without breaking down in tears.