Amelia's Journey

by Martha Rogers

  “I think that means we have to go now. Mama and the others are waiting.” He held her hand, and they walked back toward the gate leading to the trains. When they met the tracks, Ben stopped and gazed down at Amelia.

  “I’ll remember this week and all that has happened for the next few months until we meet again.” He placed his hands on her cheeks. “I want you to remember this. I love you very much, and nothing will change that. You’ll see when you come to Sweetwater Springs in the spring.” He bent and kissed her forehead then dropped his hands, picked up his satchel, and stepped up onto the train platform.

  A whistle blew and smoke gushed into the air. The wheels turned, and Ben jerked at the movement. He waved at Amelia, who waved back with one hand covering her mouth. Mary Beth stood beside her, waving her good-byes as well. The two women he cared about very much grew smaller as the train picked up speed and increased the distance between them. Then the train curved and they were gone.

  He dropped his hand to his side and entered the Pullman car where they would reside until they reached St. Louis. Even though the train had a dining car, Ma and Clara had packed a basket of snacks to while away the time and fill the hungry stomachs of Gideon and Billy.

  Billy now snuck a peek under the checkered cloth, only to be scolded by Ma. He sat back on his seat with his bottom lip stuck out so far he’d trip over it if he stood up. Ben snickered, and that brought a glare from his little brother. What a little pest he could be, but Ben wouldn’t trade him for anything else

  That led his mind to Amelia and her revelation. Not having children would be difficult and a little less fulfilling than having a large family, but Amelia was what was important—not how many children she could have. Orphan trains came regularly, and if he and Amelia couldn’t have their own, many children needed parents, so they could adopt. Then again, maybe Amelia wouldn’t want to have children who didn’t belong to her. He sobered at that idea.

  Lord, give me wisdom as to what to say in my letters in the months ahead. She needs to know that my love for her will never change no matter how many children we can or cannot have. The very thought of not having her in my life is more than I can bear.

  Billy reached over and pulled Grace Ann’s hair. She hit at him, and her scream split the air. “Mama, make him stop. He’s hurting me.”

  “Billy, leave your sister alone and sit still. It’s a long way to St. Louis, and I don’t want to listen to squabbling all the way.”

  The boy again stuck out his bottom lip and folded his arms across his chest. His little pink tongue shot out between his lips in the direction of his sister, and Ma grabbed his thigh. Ben stifled a chuckle. He glanced up, and Gideon was doing the same.

  “Those two are going to be little pests all the way home. Looks like it’s up to you and me to handle ‘em. I’ll take Billy, and you can have him later.” Gideon rose from his seat and headed for Billy. He picked the boy up and said, “Let’s you and me play a few games.”

  Ben breathed a sigh of relief. Between the two of them, they ought to be able to keep Billy busy for the trip and give Ma some rest. She’d need it now without Clara around to help her once they reached home.

  Grace Ann buried her nose in a book, so Ben moved over to sit beside Ma. This would be a good time to talk with her and seek her advice.

  Ma reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’d hug you, but you’re so tall and broad shouldered now that I can barely get my arms around you. You’re taller than your father.”

  “Well, I can always hug you.” He slipped his arm around her shoulders to prove it.

  She grinned up at him with a sparkle in her eyes. “How was it with Amelia? I’m so glad her father gave his permission for her to come to the station.”

  Ben removed his arm from her shoulders and clasped his hands between his knees. “It was fine, but I need your help. You know how much I love her.”

  “Yes, son, I do. I couldn’t help but see it every time you were together, but I sense there may be a problem. Has her father objected again?”

  “No, it’s not that. You know what happened with Amanda.” At his mother’s nod, he continued. “It seems that it happens with the women in her mother’s family. Mrs. Carlyle is an only child because of the difficulties her mother had, and Amelia has only the one sister for the same reasons. Amelia is afraid that she won’t be able to have any children at all. I got the feeling she didn’t want to burden me with that because she knows how much I love children.”

  “And what did you tell her?”

  “I said I’d love her no matter what, but I sensed she didn’t believe me. She told me to think about it and what it meant for our future. What can I do to make her believe it doesn’t make a difference in how I feel about her?”

  “What were you planning to do before she told you?”

  “To get that piece of land down by the old mill and start building a house on it for us.”

  “Then you should keep right on with the house. Since your father invited them to come later in the spring, you can prove your love by going ahead with your plans as though nothing had changed.”

  “Then that’s what I’ll do.” It’s the same conclusion he had drawn, but hearing it from his mother made his choice more than right. “Ma, how long will Pa and Clara stay in Boston?”

  “Not more than a few weeks. As soon as the estate is settled, they will return home. Until then, you and Steve can run the ranch.” She hesitated a moment then tilted her head to one side. “We were going to wait to tell you this, but I believe I should tell you now. Your grandfather left a nice sum for each of his grandchildren in his will. It will be enough for you to build your house and buy a few head of stock to start your own ranch.”

  He gulped. Grandpapa left him enough money to do that? His mind raced with all that he could do in the future to help Mr. Carlyle see that he could provide for Amelia. “I had no idea.” He knit his brows together. “Pa planned to make me a partner this year and share in the profits of the ranch. Will this make a difference?”

  “Yes, but the plans aren’t fully developed yet. We discussed it at length last night, and what I think will happen is that he’s going to sell you enough land for your own ranch. You can pick out your brand, buy a few head, and get started this spring. He even talked about giving you a few of the new calves that will be coming soon.”

  His own ranch with his own house on it. That was more than he’d ever dreamed of having. He’d have to go it alone until he could hire hands to help, but with Pa’s assistance and what Ben already knew about ranching, he could make it a success.

  Ma laughed and shook her head. “I know your pa wanted to tell you himself, and I spoiled his little surprise, but I thought maybe it would help you in deciding what to say to Amelia in your letters in the days ahead.”

  If he’d had his hat in his hands instead of on the seat across the aisle, he’d have thrown it in the air in jubilation, but all he could do was sit and grin before throwing both arms about his ma and hugging her. “I think I must have the most wonderful parents in the world.” He sat back then stood and moved back to his seat. The countryside raced by in a tapestry of white, pale greens, and browns. Each click-clack of the wheels took him closer to home and fulfillment of his dreams.

  Thank You, Lord, for Your mighty love. You made provisions for my needs before I even realized I had them. You know my dreams for the future, and I pray Mr. Carlyle will see how much I need Amelia to be a part of that future.

  God provided all along the journey so far, and He would continue to do so as long as he and Amelia sought Him and followed His will. Ben’s pure conviction was that God intended for Amelia to be his bride and would pave the way for Mr. Carlyle’s acceptance. How and when that would come about would be for the Lord to decide. Whatever happened, Ben looked forward to being a part of it.

  Chapter 23

  Amelia read Ben’s last letter once again. He declared his love for her, but doubt still riddled her thoughts about him. Mo
st men wanted a son to carry on the family name or a daughter who would grow up as the apple of his eye. In the six weeks since Ben had returned home to Kansas, all four of his letters had expressed the same love he’d declared for her before he left. He’d even told her that he had the land and the materials to start building the house he planned for them. So why couldn’t she believe he really did love her?

  At least Papa no longer objected or complained when she turned down suitors who had asked for permission to call on her, but he hadn’t as yet said whether or not they would be going to Kansas either. The uncertainty ate at Amelia until she no longer enjoyed the social activities she did attend.

  Amelia finished pinning up her hair and folded the letter before returning it to the box where she now kept all of Ben’s letters. Mary Beth was due for afternoon tea in a few minutes, so she ventured downstairs to wait for her.

  Maeleen met her at the bottom of the stairway. “My mum said to tell ye she has the tea ready for your guest. She has a plate of scones for ye too.”

  “Thank you. Please tell her to serve them when Mary Beth arrives.” Maeleen turned to leave. “Wait, have you seen Mama?”

  “No, miss, I haven’t since she last went to her room after checking meals with Mum.”

  “All right. She’ll probably come down when Mary Beth is here.” Amelia wandered into the parlor where she stopped to run her hand across the brocade fabric on the sofa. The rich wine color complemented the cherry wood trim. What kind of furniture would she have in a home in Kansas? Mama’s decorating tastes were somewhat more elaborate than what Amelia wanted for her house, but she wouldn’t mind having a few pieces of the well-made furniture to be found in Boston. Oh, posh, why was she even thinking about such things? Having her own home was a ways off in the future, if it ever happened.

  The door knocker sounded, and a few moments later Mary Beth rushed into the room and embraced Amelia. “Oh, I’m so glad we can have this time together. It seems every time we try, something else is going on that we must attend.” She arranged her skirts as she sat down on the sofa.

  “Have you heard from your father or Aunt Clara?” Amelia lifted her hand toward the door to signal Maeleen to bring in the tea set.

  “Yes, they arrived safely home at the end of last week. I wanted to tell you in church Sunday, but I didn’t see you.”

  “I’m sorry, but I had a touch of a cold with a scratchy throat, so Mama made me stay home. I’m much better today.” She paused while Maeleen set the tea tray on the table in front of the sofa. “Thank you, Maeleen; I’ll ring if we need anything else.”

  She turned back to Mary Beth and reached for the teapot. “I had another post from Ben yesterday, and he’s working on the house he’s building down by the mill.”

  “Yes, he showed me the plans. There’s something else you should know. I just learned of it myself last week.” She reached for the offered cup of tea and picked up a scone.

  Amelia’s thoughts flitted like a pesky gnat in her mind. Ben had changed his mind and didn’t want to tell her. Something had happened to somebody in the family. She forced herself to wait until Mary Beth was ready to talk again and picked up her own teacup. It took both hands to keep it from rattling on the saucer.

  Mary Beth swallowed a bit of scone. “These are quite delicious. I must make sure to get the recipe from Lettie.” Then she grinned. “You’re so curious about what I learned that I can see it coming out your ears.”

  Heat rushed to Amelia’s cheeks. She hadn’t been as discreet as she hoped.

  “The most wonderful thing has happened. Grandpapa left all of his grandchildren an inheritance in his will. Ben and I will receive ours now, but the others will have to wait until they’re eighteen. Isn’t that wonderful? That’s how Ben was able to get started on your house so soon.”

  Ben had an inheritance and spent it to buy land and build a house for her. That should prove his love for her. “Yes, it is, but how can Ben still want me for a wife when I may not be able to give him children?”

  Mary Beth laughed. “Because, my dear friend, he loves you as much as I love Andrew. When we Haynes fall in love, we do it forever despite the circumstances, and I know you love him the same way.”

  Her voice held such confidence that Amelia’s doubts began to fade. Still, she’d have to wait until she saw him again to fully believe he still wanted her as his wife. The days until they could go to Kansas loomed longer and longer.

  Amelia remembered her friend’s betrothal. “Have you and Andrew been able to set a date for your wedding as yet? I know you had wanted it in June, but that would be too soon after your grandfather’s death.”

  “Yes, but Grandmama has said we could have it by the end of summer, so we chose the first day of September as our wedding day. It will be at the church, and Grandmama has already secured the date for us.”

  “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you both.” Even though Mrs. Haynes may still be in mourning, she and Mrs. Farnsworth would plan the most fashionable and elaborate wedding one could have in Boston. It would even be grander than Amanda’s had been. As far as Amelia was concerned, however, an elaborate wedding was a waste of money. If she had her way, her wedding would be a small affair and take place here in her own home.

  Mary Beth set her cup down and leaned toward Amelia. Her blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and love. “I’m asking you and Isabella to stand with me. Grace Ann is too young to be able to do it, but we’ll find something for her to do in the wedding. I would like for you to be my senior maid.”

  Amelia’s throat tightened. She had come to love Mary Beth as a sister, and the invitation brought as much honor as standing with her sister had. “Of course I will. What an honor to be chosen, and how much fun we’ll have.”

  Mama stepped into the room. “Did I hear you say you are making plans for your wedding?”

  “Yes, ma’am. We’ve chosen the first Saturday in September for the ceremony.”

  Mama leaned over and hugged Mary Beth. “I’m very happy for you, dear, and I know how much your mother would like to be here to help with all the plans. You tell her I’ll do everything I can to help Louise Farnsworth and your grandmother with anything they may need.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Carlyle. I’m sure they will appreciate any help you can give them. Mama will arrive in June to spend the last few months with me. The rest of the family will come in mid-August.”

  “That’s wonderful. Your mother is certainly proud of you. We talked a great deal about you and Amelia when she was here for Christmas.” Then a secretive look and a smile like that of a conspirator swept across her features.

  She stepped back and gazed first at Mary Beth and then at Amelia. “It’s good that you’re here, Mary Beth, so you can hear the news too.”

  She paused for a moment, and Amelia swallowed the scream threatening to escape. This was the second time in a half hour that she had to wait for someone to make a statement.

  “Your father has decided that we will all take the trip to Kansas in April. He’s sending a wire to Sweetwater Springs today to inform Mr. Haynes and the rest that we’ll be arriving the second week after Easter.”

  This time Amelia didn’t squelch the yelp that burst forth. She leaped from her chair and hugged her mother’s neck. “Oh, thank you, Mama. Thank you.”

  “It’s your father you have to thank. Of course I may have planted a hint or two, but he’s the one who said yes. Be sure you tell him so tonight, but do curb your enthusiasm for seeing Ben. Papa needs more time to absorb that situation.”

  Yes, she’d thank Papa tonight at dinner. Now that she knew for sure they would be going, Amelia’s heart swelled to the bursting point in anticipation of seeing Ben. By then all her doubts and questions would be resolved, and she could enjoy the plans he’d made for their home. Now she and Mary Beth had even more reason to celebrate and plan in the next few months.

  Despite the cold weather and patchy snow, Ben had been able to spend time on his new prope
rty almost every day and still get his chores and responsibilities with Pa done. Building supplies had arrived last week, and the first signs of building had begun. He and Gideon had stepped out the measurements and laid rope for the outside walls and walls between rooms. He rode out to the site tonight with even more joy in his heart for what he had accomplished so far.

  This evening Pa shared a wire from Mr. Carlyle that said he and his family would arrive the second week after Easter for a visit. Ben had shouted for joy then, much to the amusement of Gideon and Clara. He didn’t care. Amelia was coming to Kansas, and he wanted everything to be ready. He’d spend every Saturday on his property working on the house until they arrived.

  He pulled his jacket collar up closer around his neck. The temperature would remain in the forty-degree-range tonight, but the chill wind made it colder on his neck and face. No clouds in the sky allowed the stars to shine forth in all their glory. Riding in quiet solitude like tonight always brought peace to his heart and soul. After observing the laid-out rope once more, he headed toward home.

  The jewel-filled sky, wide-open spaces, the moon shining bright, and the gentle lowing of the cattle revealed only a few of the wonders of God’s great world. Snow still covered areas protected from the sun’s rays in the daytime, but soon spring would arrive, and the fields would burst forth in glorious color. How could anyone ride out here, see all the beauty, and still not believe in a God who created it all? Why people couldn’t accept that went beyond Ben’s comprehension.

  The cattle were in winter pasture now, and all appeared peaceful and quiet. As he rode back to the ranch house, the only sounds were of Blackie’s shoes against the hard earth and the creaking of his saddle. He began singing, not worried about who would hear him out here. All he could think of to sing was a song that Clara played and sang just about every day. His voice didn’t carry near the quality of hers, but the words of one verse had touched his heart and lodged there.