Amelia's Journey

by Martha Rogers

  Amelia picked up the letter and handed it to Grandma. “This is what Ben thinks.”

  Grandma read the paper and set it on the table. “He’s a wise young man. Listen to what he has to say when you see him again.”

  “I want to, but this whole mess is more than I can handle. I don’t know what to do.”

  “You asked your mother and me to be on your side, but are there really sides we must take? You and your father are in opposite corners, but both of you are right in your feelings but wrong in the way you are expressing them. Your father doesn’t want you to move so far away from your home here and lose you. He’s acting in the only way he knows to keep that from happening. You want to marry Ben and leave Boston, and you’re doing what you think is right in going against your father’s wishes.”

  Amelia studied her hands then clasped them together. She hadn’t truly considered Papa’s reasons for his attitude. Maybe he hadn’t been trying to control her life after all. He kept saying he wanted what was best, but for whom?

  “He’s already lost me, and I think he sees that now. I don’t want it that way, but I can’t forgive him or apologize.”

  Grandma reached for the Bible on the table by her chair and opened it. “Here in the sixth chapter of Matthew, verses fourteen and fifteen, Jesus talks about forgiving. ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ That simply means you must forgive others their sins just as our Lord forgives ours, or our petition for forgiveness is in vain.”

  Amelia let the words soak in. Her heart ached in the worst way as though it had been ripped apart. Only God could put it back together, but it would take effort on her part to be obedient to what He required of her. “I will think about this and pray about it. I do know what is right, but I can’t do it now. I’ll wait until Ben is here and we can pray together.”

  On Monday, after a long weekend on the train, Ben’s heart thumped in his chest as they entered the station in Boston. All through this trip he’d sat alone, read his Bible, prayed, and rehearsed his speech to Mr. Carlyle and what he’d say to Amelia. Mary Beth said she’d meet him and take him straight to Amelia at her grandmother’s house. He had only met Mrs. Carlyle once at his grandfather’s funeral, and he’d been impressed by her kind spirit and her strong faith exhibited by the words spoken to his grandmother at the services.

  His letters to Amelia through Mary Beth and then to her grandmother’s had not been the way he would have liked to communicate. It was too much like deception, but he didn’t have any other choice if wanted to keep in touch with her. Each letter had been saved and read over and over again as she expressed her love and how much she missed being with him. They gave him assurance that his decision was best for both of them.

  The train stopped, and Ben gathered his belongings. Soon he’d see Amelia and she’d know of his decision to stay in Boston after the wedding. His uncles planned to meet with him tomorrow and go over the details of his position with the company.

  Ben searched through the horde of people and spotted Mary Beth waving at him. He grinned and returned the greeting. He elbowed his way through the crowd to reach her. When he had finally pushed through and stood before her, she stepped away, and Amelia smiled up at him.

  At first he could not speak then he gulped and held out his arms. “Amelia, I can’t believe it.”

  She stepped into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his back. “Believe it. I couldn’t wait another minute to see you.”

  Mary Beth smiled and her eyes danced mischievously. “The carriage is waiting for us, and as soon we get your bags, we’ll be on our way. I asked our driver to stop at our place and drop me off, then you and Amelia can go on to her grandmother’s house.”

  With one arm around Amelia, Ben retrieved his bag and followed Amelia out to the carriage. Once settled inside, he could finally say what he’d bottled up for so many months even if Mary Beth sat across from them. She’d understand since she loved Andrew as much as he loved Amelia, if that was possible.

  He held Amelia’s hand. “I’ve missed you so much. My love has grown stronger in the days we’ve been apart.”

  Amelia squeezed his hand, and the love that shone in her eyes brightened his hopes and filled his heart with more assurance that God ordained and blessed their love.

  “My life has been miserable without you. No amount of talk from Mama or Grandma has helped with Papa. We’ve let him be for the past two weeks since I lost my temper.”

  “That’s something I’m glad I didn’t have to see, and I hope I never do.” Amelia had always been somewhat of a rebel according to Amanda, but she’d always been good-natured and easy to get along with. Lashing out in anger had never been in the picture. Ben still found it hard to believe that she had behaved in such a manner.

  “I’m ashamed of it now, and I’ve made a decision for something I know I must do before we do anything else.” She paused then said, “We must go see Papa first so I can seek his forgiveness and let him know I forgive him for what he said to me.”

  Ben shook his head. “This is crazy. I had the same idea, because I need to let your father know I understand his feelings, but also tell him what I plan to do. We can do it now as soon as we take Mary Beth to Grandmama’s.”

  His sister clasped her hands and smiled. “I knew bringing her to the station was the right thing to do, and now you both have the same idea. This is delicious.”

  The carriage stopped, and Mary Beth stepped out and directed the driver to take them to Amelia’s house.

  Once they were alone, Ben struggled with the words he needed to say to her father. They kept tumbling over one another and sat as a scrambled mess in his heart.

  When they arrived at her home, Amelia held tightly to Ben’s hand in hopes of drawing some of his strength into herself. Neither of them had told the other what they planned to say, and now doubt filled her soul. This is what the Lord wanted her to do, and He’d give her the words to say.

  Maeleen’s eyes opened wide, and her mouth dropped opened. “Miss Amelia, Mr. Haynes. We weren’t expecting ye. Come in.”

  “Is Papa at home, Maeleen?” It was a little before his usual time, but he sometimes came home early. If he wasn’t, they’d wait.

  “Yes, in his study, he is. He arrived only a few minutes ago. Do ye want me to tell him ye be here?”

  “No, we’ll go on in.” She grasped Ben’s hand, and together they approached the study. When Amelia knocked, her father told them to come in. When he saw them, he jumped up from his chair. The look of surprise followed by narrowed eyes and pursed mouth sent a shiver through Amelia. If she hadn’t been holding on to Ben, her legs would have failed her completely.

  Then Papa smiled and came from behind his desk. He wrapped his arms around Amelia. “My sweet daughter, how I’ve missed you these past days.” His tone was less harsh than expected, and he hadn’t told them to get out or leave. Lord, it’s in Your hands. She squared her shoulders and breathed deeply. “Papa, I’ve come to apologize for my unseemly behavior. The Bible tells us to respect our parents, and I did not do that when I struck out at you with words of anger. Please forgive me.”

  Papa slumped down into his chair. “I accept your apology, Amelia. I love you too much not to.”

  Relief flooded through Amelia. Now if Papa listened to Ben, all would be right.

  Ben cleared his throat. “Mr. Carlyle, I’ve come to seek your forgiveness also. I should never have gone behind your back and kept in touch with Amelia, but I love her with all my heart and couldn’t bear not hearing from her. I know you don’t want her to live out in Kansas, so I’ve secured a position with my uncles in our family business. I’ll not be returning to Kansas after the wedding.”

  Amelia gasped, and her heart turned somersaults in her chest. “You’ve done what? What about the house and all your plans for your own ranch?”

  Ben grasped h
er hands in his. “I tried to tell you on the way here, but the words stuck in my throat. Without you my life is meaningless, and if you can’t be in Kansas, then I’ll move here to be with you.”

  Tears filled Amelia’s eyes. “I can’t let you do that. All your hopes and dreams are in Kansas, not some investment company here in Boston.” She turned to her father. “Papa, you can’t let him do this. He’ll be miserable here.”

  Papa reached for the Bible on his desk. “I’ve been reading God’s Word and praying a great deal since that day you left in such anger. I must ask for your forgiveness too, Amelia.” He turned his gaze to Ben. “And for yours, young man. I let my own selfish desires attempt to dictate what the two of you do with your life. For that I am deeply sorry. The very thought of losing you, Amelia, has troubled me deeply.”

  Amelia swallowed a sob and ran to her father’s side. She bent to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “Oh, Papa, I do forgive you. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

  He reached up and stroked her arm. “Oh, but I fear I harmed you and Ben more than you did me. You simply opened my eyes to see what I’d really done. It’s taken me these days of your absence to realize that the only way to show my love is to let you go your own way. Ben has proved his love for you by being willing to sacrifice his plans to be with you.”

  Amelia stood and stepped back beside Ben. “Does this mean what I think it does, Papa?” Her heart pounded, but her breath stopped as she waited to hear his answer.

  “Yes, it does. I can no longer, in good conscience, stand in the way of your happiness with Benjamin. Son, you don’t need to give up your dream of a life in Kansas. Knowing that you are willing to do anything for my daughter is enough for me. I give you both my blessings for a happy marriage.”

  Amelia’s breath escaped in a whoosh, and she turned to hug Ben. His jaw clamped tight with disbelief, but as the truth set in, he returned her embrace, and a smile replaced the frown.

  His lips brushed her hair. “Mr. Carlyle, I can’t begin to tell you what this means to me. I’ll speak with my uncles today if you’re sure this is what you want.”

  Papa stood and then came around the desk to shake Ben’s hand. “It is, son. It’s taken awhile, but I see my daughter’s happiness is more important than my selfish desires, and I’d rather have her in Kansas loved and cared for than to have her here at home, miserable and alienated from me.”

  Mama strode across the room to Papa. “Isaac Carlyle, those are the sweetest words I’ve heard you say in a while.” She embraced Papa.

  A miracle had happened in this room, and love filled it to overflowing. Papa raised a hand and waved it. “Go on, you two. I’m sure you have plans to make.”

  Ben reached down to hold her hand. “Thank you, sir.” He grinned at Amelia. “Let’s go. I have a few things to say to you.”

  Amelia’s heart filled so full, it might burst at any moment as she followed him to the foyer. Under the crystal chandelier in the middle of the hallway, Ben gripped her hands. “With all the new territories opening up, I don’t know what the future will hold for us or where we might go, but I do know that I want to face it with you by my side. Miss Amelia Carlyle, will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?”

  Amelia’s heart took flight and soared to the heights of heaven with love for Ben. She threw her arms about his neck. “Yes, yes, yes. I’ll marry you.”

  Mama and Papa laughed from the doorway to the study. Papa’s voice boomed across the foyer. “Well, kiss her. You’ve certainly earned it.”

  Amelia gazed into Ben’s dark eyes filled with as much love for her as she had for him. He grinned and lowered his face to an inch from hers and whispered, “They don’t need to know this isn’t the first time I’ve kissed you.” Then his lips touched hers, and all the months of waiting found their meaning. Tested and tried, their love had endured. Not only that, a home stood waiting for her—a home she now knew she was prepared to handle. This was the beginning of her journey to being the wife of a rancher in Kansas, or wherever the Lord led, and what a journey it would be.