Striker (Book 1 in the 'Striker' Trilogy)

by Michelle Betham

  ‘A long time,’ Amber sighed again, throwing herself back against the cushions, too, taking another sip of champagne. ‘Too bloody long.’

  Debbie looked at her out the corner of her eye. ‘Is there a reason for that?’

  Amber stared straight ahead, trying to push any thoughts of Jim – no matter how tiny or how vague they might be – to the back of her mind, where they belonged. ‘Let’s just say things didn’t exactly run smoothly in a previous relationship. He was… we… it was complicated. We shouldn’t really have been together and… I fell in love. I thought he had, too, but I was wrong. It didn’t end well. He hurt me and… I guess I put barriers up to prevent me from going there again. Until Ryan walked into my life.’

  ‘He must have been someone really special…’ Debbie sat up slightly, crossing her legs, fixing Amber with an intrigued look, ‘... to make you feel that way.’

  ‘He was,’ Amber said, staring down into her glass. ‘I loved him so much and…’ She shrugged. ‘And he threw that back in my face.’

  ‘Was he famous?’

  Amber looked up sharply. What could have made her want to ask that?

  ‘I’m only asking because, well, you’ve been around footballers and sportsmen all your life and I just thought… I assumed…’

  ‘I was young and stupid, Debbie. Not to mention incredibly naïve.’ She knew she’d already said too much and it was time to steer the subject back round to the present – leave the past well alone. ‘But that’s all behind me now. I’ve got Ryan, haven’t I? And we’ve got a future together. That’s all that matters.’

  ‘He really loves you, Amber. You’re very lucky.’

  Amber looked down into her glass again, unable to prevent the smile from spreading across her face as she remembered the way they’d said goodbye to each other just a few hours ago. She could still feel him inside her, if she closed her eyes and thought about him, all handsome and hard. The taste of him on her lips, the touch of his fingers on her skin. She just wished he was here now, because she missed him like crazy. And she didn’t like these needy feelings that seemed to be taking over, but she couldn’t stop them. She loved him, it was as simple as that. She loved him. And she hadn’t loved anyone as much as this since – since Jim.

  ‘You alright?’ Debbie asked, gently touching Amber’s arm. ‘You drifted off there for a second, chick.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Amber smiled, draining the last of her champagne and standing up, shaking out her hair so it fell in a barrage of beautifully-styled barrel curls over her bare shoulders. ‘I’m just nipping outside for some fresh air and a quick cigarette.’ Suddenly she really needed one. So much for her New Year’s resolution to give up. Again. ‘Can you get me a refill?’

  ‘Sure. More champagne?’

  Amber nodded before pushing her way through the crowd towards the door that led outside, quite glad of the brief time away from the lovely but slightly overwhelming group of women she found herself out with.

  ‘Amber?’

  She swung round at the sound of his voice. That unmistakeable American accent. ‘What… what the hell are you doing here?’ Had he just followed her out of the bar? Because, surely he hadn’t just coincidently been passing as she’d walked outside?

  ‘I’m allowed to come out for a drink now and again. There’s no law against it, is there?’

  He smiled at her, and she hated the way he still had the ability to make her heart leap about, even after all these years, and all the hurt he’d caused.

  ‘It’s just… just strange to see you somewhere like this, that’s all.’ She leaned back against the wall, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, although it was more of a nervous action than a way of keeping herself warm.

  ‘I come to places like this quite often, honey. I gather it’s you who’s spent most of her life working rather than having fun.’

  She looked down at her far-too-expensive new shoes. They were beautiful, but a few months ago she would never have dreamt of spending so much money on shoes, yet this new world she seemed to be involuntarily entering was making her do things she’d never done before. And that lack of control was something that bothered her. ‘Did you know I’d be here tonight?’ she asked, still looking at her shoes.

  ‘I overheard Gary talking this afternoon. He mentioned you might be coming here at some point this evening.’

  ‘You need to be careful.’ She slowly looked up at him, all handsome and sexy and out-of-bounds. Very definitely out-of-bounds. ‘That could almost be construed as stalking.’

  Jim smiled, that wide and beautiful smile that could make her knees go weak and her stomach flip over a thousand times. But tonight she was managing to keep that in check. Just. Tonight the only man she had on her mind was Ryan. ‘Call it – coincidence,’ Jim said, moving closer to her but Amber took a step back, keeping that distance between them. ‘Are you having a good time?’

  She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, folding her arms in a slightly defensive manner. ‘It’s okay. I’d rather be at home, though. Like you said, I’m not one for nights out. But then, when we were together I didn’t really have much choice, did I?’

  Jim laughed, running a hand along the back of his neck before locking eyes with her again. ‘We had a hell of a lot more fun staying in.’ He reached out and gently touched her cheek with the palm of his hand. ‘Don’t you think?’

  She quickly pushed his hand away but she wasn’t quick enough to stop him from moving in for a kiss, his mouth touching hers before she’d even had a chance to register what he was doing. But once it did, she lifted up a knee and kicked him hard enough to get the message across – she was off-limits. He had no right to do that to her. She wasn’t his plaything, not anymore. ‘No, Jim. That’s enough, okay? It’s over, finished. We’re history, and you have to stop this, it isn’t fair. It really isn’t fair.’

  ‘Because you’re still in love with me?’ he asked, trying to catch his breath, his eyes meeting hers once more, and she couldn’t look away, even though she wanted to. She really wanted to.

  ‘No,’ she whispered. ‘Because I love Ryan.’

  Jim let out a cynical laugh, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck again as he broke the stare for a second. ‘You love him.’ He turned back to face her. ‘No, you see, you think you love him, Amber. You think you do…’

  ‘I do.’ Her voice was quiet but steady. She wasn’t going to let him unnerve her, not like he’d done before. She was older now, she could deal with this. ‘And when I say those two words to him at our wedding, I’ll mean them, like I’ve never meant anything before.’

  ‘You’re deluded,’ Jim said, moving closer to her again, and this time she didn’t step back. She stayed put. ‘I’m free, Amber. I’m free, and I have been for years because the only woman I ever really wanted was you, don’t you see that? I only ever wanted you.’

  ‘Then you had a really funny way of showing that.’

  He reached out and took her hand, which was met with Amber pulling it away immediately but his strength was no match for hers and he grabbed it again, wrapping his fingers around hers so tight she had no choice but to let him keep hold of her. ‘Things were complicated back then, Amber. You know that, Jesus, come on… If we’d gone public… But, now – now there’s nothing stopping us. And we were nearly there, honey, weren’t we? You and me, we were almost there.’ He loosened his grip on her slightly, but she didn’t pull her hand away. ‘He isn’t right for you, Amber. Marrying him is a mistake, and I think, deep down, you know that.’

  ‘How can you possibly know what is or isn’t right for me, Jim? How can you know that?’

  ‘Because I’ve loved you for so long, baby. As simple as that. I’ve loved you for so long.’

  ‘I need to move on,’ Amber whispered, finally pulling her hand away from his, pushing it through her dark red curls as she made to turn away from him. It was time to go. The champagne she’d been drinking had gone to her head slightly and she’d already be
haved in a way she was going to regret in the morning, so staying any longer really wasn’t a good idea. ‘Goodbye, Jim.’

  She’d just started to walk away when she felt his hand on her hip, swinging her back round to face him again, his arm sliding around her waist, pulling her against him so quickly she almost lost her breath. And then he kissed her – a kiss so gentle, so familiar that all she could do was fall against him. Suddenly she felt something she could only describe as akin to defeat. She was so tired, so confused, and being in the arms of this older man who’d been a part of her life for over twenty years, it felt safe. For those few, brief seconds she was right where she’d always wanted to be. With the man of her dreams.

  But reality, as usual, was never far away. And as it hit Amber with a shock that could only be likened to someone throwing an ice-cold bucket of water over her, she finally pulled away from him, not looking at him as she spoke. ‘Just go, Jim. Please.’

  ‘Amber…’

  ‘Please, Jim.’ This time she did look at him, almost pleading with him to do as she said. To just let her go. Like she was trying to do with him. ‘Just go.’

  She watched him turn and walk back into the bar, her heart beating so fast it actually hurt. Leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes she breathed in deep and exhaled slowly, trying to stop her heart from hammering hard against her ribs.

  ‘You, and Jim Allen?’

  Amber’s eyes opened and her head spun round to see who that voice belonged to, and this time her heart almost stopped dead as she saw Debbie standing there, her arms folded, a curious look on her face.

  ‘Debbie, I… How long have you…?’ She felt her shoulders sag. And uttering those words “It wasn’t what it looked like…” would be pointless. Actually, she couldn’t even begin to think what it had looked like to someone who had absolutely no idea of the past history between her and Jim Allen.

  Amber leaned back against the wall as Debbie walked over to her, closing her eyes as though hoping that, when she opened them, she’d be back home in front of News At Ten instead of here, in this nightmare situation.

  Debbie leaned back against the wall beside her. ‘Locking lips with your fiancé’s boss, huh? Didn’t see that one coming, I have to say.’

  Amber turned her head to look at her friend, but said nothing. She didn’t actually know what she could say.

  ‘Are you having some sort of illicit affair?’ Debbie asked.

  ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘Is that a yes?’

  ‘We’re not having an affair, no.’ Amber took another deep breath. She didn’t really want to have to explain everything, but she couldn’t see another way of making Debbie understand what she’d just witnessed.

  ‘Well, forgive me for stating the obvious here, chick, but, it looked as though you two kind of know each other pretty well to me.’

  ‘He’s my dad’s best friend, Debs. You know he is. He’s known our family for over twenty years so of course we know each other pretty well.’

  ‘So, your dad is aware that his best friend kisses you that way, then?’

  She obviously wasn’t going to let this one go. Amber threw her head back again. ‘We’re not having an affair, alright? Not anymore, anyway.’

  Debbie grabbed Amber’s hand, pulling her back towards the bar. ‘Come on. I’ve got us another bottle of champagne and I think that’s just as well, don’t you? Because we really need to talk.’

  *

  ‘I’m not sure this was such a good idea,’ Ryan said as he kicked the front door shut behind him. ‘I mean, bringing them back here…’

  ‘Relax, Ryan. Come on. Amber isn’t going to be home for hours, yet. If Debbie’s got anything to do with it you’ll be lucky to see her before dawn. Chill out, mate. This is much more discreet than taking them back to The Goldman.’

  ‘Since when was discretion something you were bothered about?’

  ‘I’m not doing it for me, you dickhead. I’m doing it for you. Trying to keep you away from any prying eyes. You know as well as I do that there are always paparazzi sitting outside The Goldman just waiting to snap somebody doing something they shouldn’t. And I should know.’

  Ryan sat down on the stairs, pushing both hands through his hair. ‘I am so frigging wasted, Gary. Maybe I should just go straight to bed.’

  ‘That’s exactly what I was thinking,’ Emmie smiled, emerging from the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses.

  Ryan looked up at the pretty, young girl in front of him, all bright eyes and beautiful smile, her expression full of hope and promise. Once-upon-a-time he wouldn’t have even thought twice about taking her straight upstairs and making all her dreams come true. But tonight he’d thought more than twice – he’d thought numerous times. And still he couldn’t say with complete honesty that he didn’t want to take her to bed. Maybe that was because he was drunk, or because the more he’d hung around Gary tonight, listening to him talk about his own second thoughts regarding marriage, the more that could have clouded his own thoughts. His own opinions. Tonight he’d been thrown straight back into the kind of life he’d lived and loved not all that long ago – the life that had gotten him into all kinds of trouble; the life a part of him still missed. But it could still all just be because he was drunk. In the morning he’d probably feel very different about everything so, until then, couldn’t he just enjoy these last few hours of being the Ryan Fisher he’d used to be? He didn’t want to be that man forever, but one last ride – he could have that, couldn’t he?

  ‘I’m a bit tired, actually…’ Ryan began, before stopping himself from saying anything more, anything that could actually deter her from doing whatever it was she’d come here to do. Because he kind of wanted to find out what that was. And yet, at the same time, he didn’t. Shit! He really was wasted.

  He felt around in the pocket of his jacket, finding the small plastic pouch of white powder Emmie had slipped in there earlier. So far he’d been sensible enough not to use it, but his resistance was wearing thinner by the second.

  ‘Well, that would be such a shame, if you really were tired, because…’ Emmie sat down next to him, slowly running her fingers through his dark hair, pouting away like some hard-at-work glamour model, ‘… me and Jenna, we had something planned that I guarantee you’d want to stay awake for.’

  He narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to fight the tiredness that was still there. He was just trying to ignore it now. But then, he did have something to hand that could take that tiredness away in an instant. If he was stupid enough to go down that route. ‘Like what?’ he asked, aware of Jenna sliding past them, making her way upstairs.

  Emmie looked up at her friend, both of them exchanging knowing smiles. And then Ryan twigged exactly what was going on. Although he was more than certain he’d indulged in at least a couple of threesomes before, he just couldn’t recall them all that clearly. And he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t want to go there again, and remember the experience this time. Of course he wanted to go there again, who wouldn’t? When the opportunity was being handed to you on a plate.

  ‘Gary says your bedroom is up here,’ Jenna smiled at him, licking her lips in anticipation as her long legs continued to make their way upstairs. ‘Second on the left?’

  Ryan gave himself a couple of seconds to take in just what was happening, then he smiled back at her, letting his hand wander slowly along Emmie’s thigh as her lips began kissing his neck. ‘Yeah. That’s the one.’

  ‘Right. Well, I’ll see you both up there. Soon.’

  He watched her saunter up the last few steps before turning to look at Gary, who just arched an eyebrow and grinned at him. ‘I think you’re in there, mate. Twice.’

  Ryan stood up, pulling Emmie up with him, pushing her back against the wall and kissing her hard, his hands sliding up and under her short dress. If he was going to do this he might as well do it properly, after all, he had a reputation to keep up, didn’t he? He wasn’t married yet. And
after tonight he was going to put all this behind him, once and for all. That was a promise he was making right now and, okay, so this wasn’t the first time he’d made himself that promise, but this was truly, honestly, the last time he ever did something like this. It was nothing but one last taste of that life he had to leave behind, that was all. Just one last taste. And right now, it tasted good.

  *

  ‘Jesus, Amber… All that time and nobody knows anything about you and Jim Allen?’

  ‘We’ve both done a top-class job of making sure our secret stayed just that. A secret. I mean, Ronnie knows, but he’s my best friend. And he only found out recently. He wouldn’t ever say anything to anyone.’

  ‘What about Ryan? Does he know you and Jim used to… Does he know about your past history?’

  Amber took a long sip of champagne. Not that she felt much like celebrating anymore. ‘Yeah. He knows.’ She looked at Debbie. ‘Remember when Ryan and I split up last year? After the Christmas party?’

  Debbie nodded, leaning forward to refill her glass.

  ‘Ryan caught Jim and I, together. At the party. He heard us talking, saw us kissing… We owed it to him to tell him the truth.’

  ‘Did you...?’ Debbie’s expression was slightly confused as she quite obviously started trying to piece together everything that had happened over that short period of time. ‘You went back to Jim?’

  ‘That’s why Ryan reacted the way he did, why his behaviour changed,’ Amber said quietly, staring down into her glass. ‘I guess he found it difficult to handle the fact I was sleeping with his boss.’

  ‘But… nobody else knew?’

  Amber shook her head, swallowing another mouthful of sparkling liquid. ‘No. We… we wanted to keep it a secret until we’d had a chance to tell my dad first, about our relationship, although, we were never going to tell him about the past. He doesn’t need to know what happened back then.’ She fixed Debbie with a look that told her she meant what she was about to say. ‘Nobody does.’