McCarthys [10] Meant for Love

by Marie Force

  Alex and Paul never would’ve survived the last year without David guiding them through the medical maze surrounding their mother’s dementia. And Daisy had been a gift from above since his mother walked away from their home and landed in a rocker on Daisy’s porch in town.

  “Hey, guys,” Alex said, going over to greet them.

  “Hey, Alex,” David said. “I’ve got good news. I heard back from two of the agencies on the mainland with potential candidates for the nurse position. One of them is very anxious to move to a new place, but the other said she’d need to see it first.”

  Alex released a deep breath that he felt like he’d been holding for weeks. Help was on the way. “When can we meet them?”

  “I brought their emails and résumés with me so you and Paul can take a look. I figured if you like what you see, we can arrange something as soon as they can get here.”

  “That sounds great. I can’t thank you enough for your help.”

  “I’m happy to do what I can. I think this’ll be a great solution and will allow you to keep your mom safely at home while giving you and Paul some breathing room.”

  “That’d be nice. Air has been a bit hard to come by lately.”

  “I bet it has.”

  “How’s your mom been today?” Daisy asked. “I brought her some of the perfume she admired last night.”

  “I haven’t seen her since this morning. I just got home. Come on in. I know she looks forward to your visits.” And in another of the ultimate ironies of his life of late, his mother lit up with pleasure every time she saw Daisy, whom she’d met just a few weeks ago, but often seemed surprised to realize her own sons were now grown men. “I don’t know what we’d do without the ladies from the church who stay with her while we’re at work. And they cook for us, too. Everyone has been so amazing.”

  Alex’s throat closed around the lump of emotion that settled there when he thought of the way the island community had rallied around his family in their time of need. While he wouldn’t have chosen to move home, he was thankful for the warm embrace of their longtime friends as he and Paul managed the daily crisis their lives had become.

  “That’s Gansett for you,” Daisy said as they walked up the stairs to the sprawling ranch house where Alex and Paul had grown up. “Everyone is always willing to lend a hand.”

  “Daisy!” Marion cried when the three of them came in the door. “I’m so glad to see you!” She hugged Daisy as if she hadn’t seen the young woman in weeks, when in fact it had only been twenty-four hours since Daisy’s last visit. She’d been incredibly faithful to his mother since their inopportune meeting.

  “I’m glad to see you, too. Your hair looks lovely. Did you have it done today?”

  “I don’t know. Did I have it done today?”

  “Yes, Mom.” The strain around Paul’s eyes and mouth were indicative of a difficult day. “Chloe was here this afternoon.”

  “I did have it done today.” Marion patted her gray curls lightly. “Chloe came from town. My George always tells me to get my hair done, because he knows how much I enjoy it. He’s so good to me that way.”

  “Let’s go outside on the porch.” Daisy extended her arm to Marion. “I know how much you love the heat.”

  “I do so love it. I’m always cold.”

  Yearning for the coldest shower in the history of cold showers—for more reasons than one—Alex watched them go. His mother’s constant insistence that his father was still alive was just another on a long list of painful things about her illness. Losing their father to cancer ten years ago had been among the worst things Alex and Paul had ever been through, and to hear her talk about him like he was still alive was a constant reopening of an old wound.

  While they went out of their way not to talk about it, Alex knew it affected his brother just as profoundly.

  David filled Paul in on the news about nursing applicants. Alex provided beers for all three of them while they pored over the résumés and emails from the two women. One of them disclosed in her email that she had a young son and was looking for a fresh start for both of them.

  “Does your cottage have room for two people?” David asked, referring to the guesthouse they were making available to whomever accepted the nursing position.

  “There’re two bedrooms,” Paul said. “So that wouldn’t be an issue. How soon can we get them over here?”

  “That’s up to you,” David said. “I’ll make myself available whenever you want me to meet with them.”

  “That’s really good of you,” Alex said. “I know we’ve said this a million times, but we never would’ve gotten this far without your help and support.”

  “Happy to do it. That’s what friends are for, right?”

  “Yeah,” Alex said gruffly. “Thank God for good friends.”

  “And good beer,” Paul said in a welcome moment of levity that made them all laugh. “I’ll email both of them tonight and set up the interviews. I’ll let you know when they’re coming.”

  “You and Daisy probably have better things to do than come check on us every night,” Alex said. “Not that we don’t appreciate it.”

  “Daisy knows her special bond with your mom helps the situation, and she insists on visiting every night. But I’m happy to do it, too.”

  The kindness of those around them only added to the emotional battlefield inside Alex. On any given day, he experienced the full gamut from rage to despair to relief to gratitude to overwhelming love for the mother who’d given him everything to anger at the God who’d taken so much from her at such a young age. “I’d better hit the shower before I stink the place up,” Alex said. “Thanks again for everything, David.”

  “No problem. Call me if you need me. Any time.” David stood. “We’re going to head out in a bit, so we’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Alex nodded in appreciation and headed for the room that had been his as a child. Here he was at thirty-four, back in his old room, surrounded by high school trophies and other reminders of an idyllic childhood on Gansett Island. While this house and island were about the last place he wanted to be, he couldn’t conceive of being anywhere else when his mom and brother needed him. It didn’t do any good, he’d discovered over the last year, to wallow in thoughts of what could’ve been.

  He was too busy on a daily basis dealing with what was to think too much about the life he’d left behind in Washington—or the woman he’d thought he loved until she made it clear she wouldn’t be waiting around for him to deal with his family crisis. Apparently, he’d dodged a bullet there, but the loss of a relationship he’d enjoyed was just another thing to be bitter about.

  He stepped under the icy-cold blast of the shower and let the water rain down upon him until he was completely numb and shivering, which was a welcome relief after sweating his balls off all day. He washed his hair, shaved the scruff off his face and finally allowed his thoughts to wander to the incredibly intense interlude he’d shared with the sexy lighthouse keeper.

  Jenny…

  He liked her name, and he’d really liked kissing her. He’d had a very long day with nothing much to do but drive the mower and think about what’d happened at the lighthouse that morning—and how much he’d like it to happen again. The somewhat anonymous aspect to their encounter had been another welcome relief. Everywhere he went these days, people asked about his mom, and while he appreciated the concern, it was nice to spend a few minutes with someone who had no idea what a catastrophe his life had become.

  After at least thirty minutes under the cold water, he finally turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. As he found a clean T-shirt and board shorts, a plan began to form that he hoped he’d be able to execute. He went to the kitchen to find his mother watching Jeopardy! with the TV on full blast and Paul at the table, his laptop open in front of him and a new beer sitting in a puddle of condensation. It was so bloody hot, and his mother was cold all the time, so the AC was off.

  “Were you rubbing o
ne out in there, dude?” Paul asked with a snort of laughter.

  “Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. I was trying to cool off after a day spent literally in hell. I’ve never been so fucking hot in my life.”

  “Alexander, watch your mouth.”

  His mother chose the damnedest times to be lucid and in complete control of her faculties. “Sorry, Mom.”

  Like he would have when they were teenagers, Paul covered his mouth to hide his pleasure in watching Alex get in trouble. Alex gave him the finger, which made Paul laugh out loud.

  “I’m telling Mom,” Paul said.

  “Go right ahead.”

  While Paul drove him nuts sometimes, Alex had never been more thankful for his brother than since he moved home. He couldn’t imagine facing this nightmare alone.

  “Mrs. Garfield left a chicken thing in the oven,” Paul said. “It’s actually pretty good.”

  That was saying something, as the brothers had commented recently that they never wanted to see another casserole for the rest of their lives. Even so, as two guys who could barely heat soup without disaster striking, they were grateful to the women from the church who insisted on feeding them.

  Alex ate the surprisingly good chicken and had two servings of salad before he assisted Paul with the nightly ordeal of getting their mom ready for bed. The two of them had done things—and seen things—no son should ever have to do or see, and they did it willingly, even if the routine took a vicious toll on both of them.

  As close as he and Paul were, they never spoke of the indignities. They soldiered through because it was what had to be done, and it was what their father would’ve expected of them. And they did it because they loved their mother and were fully aware of all she’d done for them.

  Though he was as exhausted as he’d ever been, Alex was also keyed up on adrenaline after dealing with his mother and knew he’d never sleep this early. “Do you care if I take the bike out for a ride?” he asked Paul. After the recent walk-about, one of them had to be home with their mom, which was why they rarely made social plans for after work.

  “I’ve got six weeks’ worth of accounting to catch up on, which should take me every night this week and well into next, so go right ahead. I’ll be here.”

  “Do you need help with the accounting?” It wasn’t lost on Alex that his brother had shouldered a heavier portion of the burden for many months before he finally asked Alex to come home to help him.

  “Nah, I’ve got it figured out, and it would take too long to show you the system. Easier to do it myself.”

  “You sure you don’t care if I go?”

  “I don’t care, Al. I’ve got Sam Adams and the Red Sox to keep me company. Who could ask for anything more than that?”

  The lighthearted statement contained far more truth than Paul had intended. Here they were, fairly good-looking guys in their mid-thirties with no sign of a wife or children for either of them, and no hope of such things when they couldn’t make a single move without considering their mother’s welfare first.

  Yeah, Alex thought, as he went out to the barn where he kept the Harley he’d brought home from DC with him, the Martinez brothers made for very attractive marriage material.

  He’d expected to be married by now, maybe even have a couple of kids, too. But life hadn’t worked out the way he’d planned, and who knew when he’d have time to think about a family of his own? He’d probably be too old and too bitter by the time he was able to go there.

  Doctors had told them their mother could live for decades in her current condition. After losing his father so young, Alex was in no rush to live without his mom, but he couldn’t visualize a future that didn’t involve her daily care. What woman in her right mind would want to be a part of that?

  “You’re so fucking depressing to be around,” he said to himself, taking advantage of the opportunity to swear to his heart’s content. “Who’d want you anyway?”

  Jenny had wanted him. The thought popped into his head so suddenly it nearly took his breath away and made his cock surge inside his shorts. He hadn’t felt anything close to desire in so long he’d wondered if the old guy still worked. Today he’d discovered that everything worked perfectly, and God help him, but he wanted more of her.

  He had no good reason to return to the lighthouse, and yet he could think of no good reason not to. Leaving the driveway, he pulled onto the main road, traveling in the opposite direction from the Southeast Light. The roar of the bike beneath him and the rush of the air through his hair made him glad he’d left the helmet at home. While he’d never ridden the bike without one in DC, he rarely bothered with the helmet here. Maybe that was stupid, but he felt safe here in a way he didn’t anywhere else.

  And it was too damned hot for the helmet. He rode out to the bluffs and back through town, making two complete circles of the island that took him past the Southeast Light twice. On the third circle, he turned the bike into the dirt road that led to the light and drove the bike around the locked gate. As he did that, he wondered if the roar of the bike would make her mad enough to throw something at him.

  He chuckled, remembering her outrage and the splatter of a tomato connecting with his back. That had definitely been a first. He’d never made a woman mad enough to throw things at him, but he’d also never behaved quite so spontaneously with a woman before either. The last time he’d kissed a woman he barely knew had to have been in college, but that didn’t count, did it?

  Still pondering that question, he roared to a stop outside the lighthouse, which was dark and sealed up for the night. The only light was provided by the full moon that gave the entire place a yellow glow.

  Great… Would he get the one-day award for waking the same woman twice? He was about to turn the bike around and get the hell out of there when the sound of activity above had him looking up.

  She poked her head out the window to look down at him.

  “Don’t tell me I woke you up again.”

  “Okay, I won’t. What’re you doing here?”

  What was he doing there? Alex had no idea. Well, he had some idea… “I’m going swimming. You wanna come?”

  “Now?”

  “What’s wrong with now?”

  “It’s dark.”

  “So?”

  “Are you riding that thing without a helmet?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “That’s kind of stupid and so is swimming in the dark.”

  “Too hot for a helmet, and who says swimming in the dark is stupid?”

  “Everyone.”

  “You wanna fight with me or go swimming?”

  “Can I do both?”

  Alex smiled at her saucy reply. “Sure, knock yourself out and grab a couple of towels while you’re at it.”

  “Give me a minute.”

  “I’ve got all night.” Sure, he thought. I’ve got all night to sleep, which is what I should be doing right now. But sleep wasn’t on his mind when Jenny stepped out of the lighthouse a few minutes later, wearing a short dress and flip-flops and carrying two beach towels. He could see her bathing suit tied around her neck and was suddenly very interested in whether it was a bikini.

  If there is a God in heaven, please let it be a bikini. And PS, you owe me one.

  She eyed the bike with trepidation. “Where is this swimming going to take place?”

  “Here.” He swung his left leg over the bike and stood, dwarfing her. How had he failed to notice earlier that he had a foot on her? Probably because he’d been too busy stuffing his tongue down her throat to pay attention to such trivial matters as height. “Come on.” Gripping her hand, he led her around the lighthouse to the steps that led to the sand below.

  “I don’t think it’s safe to swim down there at night,” she said, pulling back. “There’re rocks and stuff.”

  “Do you always do what’s safe?”

  “Yes. Don’t you?”

  “Not always. Safe is boring.”

  Apparently, she had nothing to say
to that, which he took to mean she was considering whether or not she was safe in the dark with him. They navigated the stairs, aided by the light of the moon, and landed in the sand, where Alex kicked off his shoes and waited for her to do the same. At the water’s edge, he dropped her hand to remove his shirt and then waited for her to pull the dress over her head, revealing what looked to be a pink bikini.

  Thank you, God. We’re almost paid up.

  He spread the towels on the sand and held out a hand to her. “Ready?”

  “I don’t know if this is a good idea. What if we get caught in a rip current or something? No one even knows where we are.”

  “That’s what makes it fun. It’s you and me and the moon and the sea.”

  “All right, Dr. Seuss.”

  He turned his back to her and looked over his shoulder. “Hop on Pop. I’ll keep you safe.”

  She laughed—hard—and then surprised him when she took him up on his offer, climbing onto his back and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Don’t drop me.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Why in the world would he drop her when having her thighs pressed against his ribs felt so damned good? With his arms hooked under her legs, he walked into the water and eased them in slowly, staying close to the shore because he wasn’t completely foolish about the risks of swimming at night.

  “Ahhh, that feels good,” she said as the cool water washed over them.

  Was it his imagination or did she tighten her hold on him? No, definitely not his imagination. “Sure does. I thought I was going to burn up today.”

  “I couldn’t deal with being outside all day in this heat.”

  “You do what ya gotta do.” He held on tight as he lifted her up and over the gentle roll of the waves. The water was as calm as it ever was on the south side of the island, perfect conditions for a nighttime swim. “Could I let go for one second if I promise to come right back?”

  “Sure.” She released her tight hold on him and slid down his back.

  Alex waited until she was standing before he let go of her and turned around to face her. “That’s better.” He drew her into his arms, arranging her legs around his hips. “Much, much better.”