Just This Once

by Mira Lyn Kelly

  Sean’s hands came up in front of him like he was warding her off. “Jesus, don’t say it. Having that kiss in my head is bad enough. I don’t think I could handle you putting any more ideas in there.”

  That was not what she’d been expecting.

  He cleared his throat. “Seriously, Moll, you can’t look at me like that.”

  She blinked, her brows furrowing. “What?”

  “You’re doing that thing again with the eyes. You know, where I thought it was just a play, but it turned out to be real.”

  That thing? She looked down at the broken concrete between their feet, because if she’d had any control over that thing she’d been doing with her eyes, none of this would be an issue at all. That thing had been the harbinger of this escalating nonplatonic situation.

  “That kiss was probably a mistake.” She didn’t want it to be true, but the writing was on the wall.

  “Sorry, Moll. But the whole taste-to-curb-the-craving thing? Not even close to working. We need to shut this down now.”

  “Totally,” she agreed, wanting to mean it. Certain she would too, as soon as every nerve and sense stopped sizzling with a need for more of what Sean had just given her.

  * * *

  Sean was still half hard as they returned to the bar through the door they’d left. Jill was standing at the end of the hallway, hopping around, her grin stretching from ear to ear.

  Molly headed over to her, hands patting the air in front of her in an effort to calm the other woman down, while Sean headed straight for the bar. To cool himself off, fast.

  The bartender pushed a pint in front of him, and he downed half of it. What had he been thinking? Not that kissing Molly would be a good idea. Or that there was even a chance one kiss would be enough to take the edge off. Ha. He wasn’t an idiot. He’d been to high school and remembered well enough how every inch the girls had given him had only served to make him work harder for the mile. No way he’d thought it would be any different with Molly. But when she’d suggested it… Fuck. The opportunity was there, and he’d wanted to know what it would be like. So even knowing better, he’d gone along.

  Turning so he was leaning back against the bar, he scanned the crowd for the white blond of her hair, thinking about its silky texture slipping through his fingers and falling around his face when he’d hoisted her up. And when her legs wrapped around him, those fucking amazing legs, clutching at his hips. Her skirt shoved up so he could feel her heat and—

  Yeah, he’d messed up but good.

  Molly was standing with the band, nodding her head to whatever the guy with the overeager smile was saying. She looked…well, shit, she looked normal. Not like she was going crazy thinking about the taste of him on her tongue. Not like he felt.

  Maybe she was doing what he’d suggested and just shutting it down.

  But then she turned her head, her eyes finding his across the room. And he knew—he could see it in that look she couldn’t stop giving him—that she wasn’t any better off than he was.

  Tossing back the rest of his beer, he pulled out his phone and texted her.

  Sean: You’re making it worse.

  A second later, Molly had her phone out, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. At least that was better. No matter how badly they screwed up, as long as he could see that smile, he knew somehow everything was going to be okay. The conversation with the guys from the band was still going on around her, but she seemed to have shifted to the fringe edge of the group.

  Molly: Pot meet kettle. Fix your hair. You look…played with.

  He turned, checking to see if there was a mirror behind the bar, but already another message was coming through. A picture of him, with his hair tangled in too many directions to count. Jesus.

  Finger combing the mess, he raised a brow at her.

  Molly: Marginally better.

  But there was a glint of amusement in her eyes that said she was lying. More than that, the glint was tempting him to get closer. To forget about the “space” they were violating in spirit, if not action, and just—

  A slim set of shoulders bumped into him, jerking his attention from Molly to the woman taking a quick step back from him, an apologetic look on her face.

  “I’m so sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have worn these stupid heels.” She shook her head, sending a half-wild mop of corkscrew curls tumbling around her shoulders. “I didn’t spill your drink, did I? I’d be happy to buy you another.”

  Sean was shaking his head, trying to be polite to the obviously embarrassed woman in front of him, while simultaneously trying and failing to keep his attention from skating past her to the far side of the bar.

  “I’m fine”—he held up his empty glass—“and my beer was gone already.”

  “So the only thing hurt is my pride?” she asked with a nice laugh and edged past him to the open stool at the bar. She sat and, pulling her feet up, sighed. “Oh my God, that’s almost better than sex.”

  Wow.

  But then her eyes bugged, as if she’d just realized what she’d said, before she squinted them shut again in what he would guess was deep embarrassment. Molly would love this. And she’d make this poor girl feel better too.

  Sean glanced back across the bar, ready to wave her over, but this time, Molly wasn’t looking at him. Returning his attention to the woman, he caught sight of her shoes and coughed out a laugh. Because damn, they had to be five-inch heels. Intense.

  “Now I get it. How do you balance with those skinny… Never mind. If I were you, I’d hold on to that seat all night and then pay the bartender to piggyback you out to a cab.”

  Rotating her ankle this way and that, she nodded. “I wonder if I could upgrade to a princess hold instead of piggy for an extra twenty. You know, because with the dress and all.”

  He laughed. “Worth a shot.”

  Molly would definitely like this girl.

  Smiling up at him, she held out her hand and introduced herself, then nodded to the bartender. “I’m going to order something incredibly strong from this guy.” Her head cocked to the side, and she peered up at him from beneath her lashes. “Can I get a drink for you too?”

  He hadn’t really noticed it before, but she was a very good-looking woman. And that was most definitely interest in her eyes.

  Which sort of put a damper on the easy exchange between them. Because—well, because of Molly.

  But as soon as the thought rolled through his head, he stopped short. There wasn’t anything between him and Molly. Or at least there wasn’t supposed to be. They’d said they were going to shut this thing between them down, so they would.

  A lot of women had passed through Sean’s life over the years. Women he’d had fun with but knew weren’t what he’d been looking for long term. With most, it had been easy to move on and let a few nights of fun be the end of it. But from time to time, there had been that one who’d been the kind of fun he hadn’t quite been ready to give up. Those had been the ones he’d needed to move past the quickest, cut off without a second glance, because he’d known there wouldn’t be a future with them, and it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them to let that natural connection grow when it would need to be severed later. And from as far back as he’d been thinking that way, the best way he’d known to get one woman out of his head had been to move on to another.

  Jesus. He couldn’t imagine trying something like that with Molly. He wouldn’t want to. But even if he did…he had to wonder if it would even work with her.

  Rapping his knuckles on the bar, he pushed off his seat and wished the woman in the next seat luck with the heels. And then he crossed the bar to join Molly and the guys from the band.

  Chapter 11

  The rest of the night had been pretty mellow. Sean and Molly both did their best to act like what happened in the alley wasn’t completely messing with their minds. Bo
th pretended everything was cool. Both feigned fatigue when normally neither of them would even be thinking about calling it a night. Both kept a minimum two feet of distance between them. Neither joked about the kiss that had nearly set them on fire.

  Sean had called an Uber, and they’d ridden home at opposite sides of the little economy’s bench seat, Molly offering strained small talk before retreating to the sanctuary of her phone and then Sean following suit.

  But Molly could practically feel that kiss dismantling the foundation between them, changing the terrain of their relationship. Or maybe she was just imagining the lingering tension in the air between them. The eye contact they didn’t break quite fast enough. The heat in that single extra glance back after they finally had. Maybe she was the only one who felt like something inside her had been twisting slowly into an agonized knot since they’d done the “right thing” and put a stop to the kiss that had felt more right than anything she could remember in her entire life.

  She looked across the car at Sean, aching for some sign she wasn’t alone in this. Not that it would make things any easier or better…but a part of her had become dependent on Sean being with her in everything.

  Sensing her eyes on him, he glanced up and gave her a tight smile before returning to his phone. Maybe it was better if they weren’t in this together. Because if Sean could be strong—well, she would have to be too.

  The car stopped outside their building, and Molly headed up to the apartment, trying to ignore her awareness of Sean’s proximity. Trying to be cool. Failing.

  Inside, Sean went to his room and closed the door. Molly only made it another three steps before stopping, completely at loose ends and irrationally wanting to turn around and rush back to him, because he was the one who made everything better.

  But he’d just closed the door. So that was that.

  She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there when she finally forced her feet to move. She went into her room and pulled out a pair of cutoff sweats and a clean tank to sleep in. But first a shower. Maybe she’d be able to wash away the feel of Sean’s hands on her.

  Sean’s door was still closed, no sounds emanating from beyond it, when she headed to the bathroom. Probably for the best, considering she still wasn’t quite right in the head about the two of them. Rationally, she knew there was no way that kiss could ever be repeated. She knew what a bad idea it was to give in to this attraction even a little. But the part of her that wasn’t entirely rational still wanted more.

  Turning on the tap, she stripped out of her T-shirt and skirt, leaving them in a little heap next to the radiator. Her fingers were on the front clasp of her bra when she heard Sean. His muttered curse was followed by a loud thud. There wasn’t time to question what it was before the bathroom door swung open and her breath rushed out in a whoosh.

  Sean stood in the frame, his hands gripping either side as he raked a dark look over her. He was fully dressed, his breathing strained and ragged.

  “Tell me to get the fuck out of here, Molly,” he bit out, his voice different than she’d ever heard it before, rough enough to scrape against her every straining sense and nerve.

  She should. Of course, she should. And yet if someone had tried to pry the words past her lips, she wouldn’t have been able to give them up. Because that wasn’t what she wanted. Not when Sean was practically vibrating with a tension that matched her own, his body looking like it was a blink away from propelling itself into her space.

  And then it happened.

  Pushing off the frame, he reached over his head and grabbed a fistful of the back of his shirt, yanking it off. Moving into the small room, he caught her by the back of the neck and pulled her in to all that muscle and hot, bare skin. He kissed her hard, crushing her against him as her arms flew around his neck. They were beyond desperate, picking up where they’d left off in the alley and then catapulting past it in the next heartbeat.

  A flick of his tongue, and that burning need low in her belly was reignited in a flash flame. The ache to have him inside her was almost unbearable.

  Sean clutched her closer and kissed her harder, growling against her mouth. “I’m sorry, Moll.”

  “Don’t be,” she panted in response, jerking at his belt and fly until his cargo shorts dropped and hit the floor with a clack that sounded like his phone might still have been in his pocket. “I’m not sorry.”

  A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, “Yet.”

  His tongue swept through her mouth, setting off a needy pulse deep in her belly. So good. Too good. Sean’s hands tightened at the nape of her neck and over her ass, that borderline rough touch ratcheting the tension within her all the higher.

  The hand at her rear shifted inward over her panties so it was splayed wide and covering both her cheeks, the curve of his fingers following the seam between her legs. Another deep kiss and sweep of his tongue, and he pulled her against the thick length of him.

  Her mind briefly blanked as his steely pressure met the sweet spot of her sex. She still wore her panties, and he was covered by his boxer briefs, but the way he’d lifted her against him, letting her slide the few friction-filled inches down his hot length, had her closer to satisfaction than most of her past boyfriends had gotten her in a whole night. Sean lifted her again, and it was just right, making her breath catch and her inner walls spasm. And then again, and oh God, if he kept doing that, she was going to—

  “Sean!” she gasped when sensation burst through her center on a crashing wave.

  His head jerked back, eyes burning like coals as he studied her face. “Fuck, Molly.”

  The hand he’d been using to guide her shifted, sliding back up over her ass in what she recognized as a retreat.

  Her heart sank. No.

  But it made sense that Sean would come to his senses and rein them back in before it was too late. Prevent things from going any further than they already had to minimize the damage.

  He’d probably make a joke, something to lighten the mood and remind her of their friendship before he told her they had to stop. And she’d nod and laugh and agree, because she never forgot about their friendship. Which was why, even though what was about to happen would hurt, she wasn’t going to let it show.

  Bracing for the rejection she didn’t want to hear, Molly bowed her head and waited.

  It wasn’t going to be that simple though. Not with Sean. He caught her chin in the cradle of his warm palm, tipping her face to his. She could do this. Another breath, and she slowly lifted her eyes.

  Those dark eyes staring back at her were hard, intense. Totally devoid of the gentle apology she’d expected to find in their depths. Even if she’d wanted to, she didn’t think she would have been able to break from the contact.

  “There won’t be any coming back from this,” he warned, the quiet of his voice adding to the weight of the words.

  She nodded, a shiver of anticipation spearing through her. “I know.” Then resting her hand against his heart, she asked for the clarification she knew they needed. “Just this once?”

  The corner of his mouth hitched, blurring the lines between all the versions of Sean she knew. “Just this once.”

  And then he was sliding into her panties from behind, those long fingers stroking through her wetness as he told her how fucking hot she was, how he was about to lose it, how he needed to feel her come again. His words spilled over her neck and down between her breasts, where he licked and kissed her before returning to her mouth with a growl that curled her toes. So sexy. So a side of Sean he’d never shared with her before.

  Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her off her feet. Her legs locked around his hips, and it was like coming home. Like this was where she was meant to be.

  It wasn’t. She was too smart and had known Sean too long to believe anything else. But tonight, everything she knew was shoved aside. Tonight, she
just wanted to give in to the moment completely.

  Her back met a bed, and she distantly registered that he’d brought her to his room. Then his mouth was covering the fuchsia cups of her bra, catching the bead of her nipple with his teeth and groaning with her when he gave it a little pull.

  “Take it off,” she begged into the thick silk of his hair. The plastic clasp was in the front, and she gasped when he managed it with his mouth. “Whoa.”

  One golden brow arched up at her. “Mad skills, Moll,” he offered, his voice thick.

  She nodded, not certain she was still capable of speech. Sean was braced on one strong arm above her, his deep-brown eyes fixed on that inch of exposed skin between her breasts.

  The cocky smile slipped from his lips as he gently, almost reverently peeled away the thin cup from her left breast and then her right. Sean’s breath washed over her skin in a rush as he cupped the small mound.

  “Beautiful,” he managed hoarsely, his thumb brushing back and forth across the sensitive peak.

  The frantic, grappling desperation that had been the driving force between them in those first minutes had quieted, giving way to something almost calm. Like maybe they’d each realized the other wasn’t going to back out, and they could just…take their time.

  Threading her fingers through Sean’s hair, she whispered his name as he ran his tongue around her nipple and then kissed the very tip.

  “I shouldn’t know how sweet you are.” He looked into her eyes. “I was never supposed to know.”

  What could she say to that? They both seemed to understand what they were doing was a mistake, but for whatever reason, neither could stop. “Now you do.”

  “Not quite. Not the way I need to.” His nostrils flared. “But I will.”

  He backed off the bed and went to the drawer where he left his watch and wallet each night and, apparently, kept his condoms.

  Just the sight of Sean holding that foil packet was making her squirm.

  This was happening.

  Pushing up on her elbows, Molly shrugged free of her bra and scooted to the edge of the bed, where she hooked a finger into the side of Sean’s boxer briefs and tugged him to stand between her knees.