“It was fun,” he said, his tone wary. “What’s up with you?”
Lacy had to get an answer to at least one of her questions. She chose the one that was least humiliating to put forth. “This is a weird question, but have you already bought my Christmas present?”
“Yes,” he drawled. “Why?”
She shrugged, not knowing how to continue once she had started. “Oh, you know, just wondering and stuff.” Awesome answer, Lacy.
Jason’s smile was wry. “You’re acting weird, even for you.” He leaned down to bestow a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you.”
“See you,” she called lamely, staring at him as he jogged to his truck. It wasn’t that she wanted to kiss him every time she saw him. No, scratch that, she did want to kiss him every time she saw him. But common sense told her it wasn’t healthy for their friendship to dwell on their attraction to each other. Still, the sisterly kisses on the cheek the last couple of times they parted had left her feeling suspicious. Was his sudden lack of interest in her due to his interest in the mystery blond?
“Get a grip, Lacy,” she told herself just as her phone rang. By the tone, she knew it was Tosh. “Hello?”
“You left me a cryptic message about a falling ladder,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I was stuck in the attic, but I’m out now. Crisis averted.”
“How did you get out?” Was it her imagination, or was his tone suspicious?
“Jason. He was the only one I could reach.”
Tosh sighed. “I knew no good could come of my counseling session today. Sorry I wasn’t there for you, and sorry I’m seemingly never there for you. I miss you. After Christmas, can we catch up? What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”
“Not a thing,” Lacy said, staring wistfully in the direction Jason had gone.
“Is it too early to claim you?”
“Claim away,” Lacy said. “What are we going to do?”
“It’s a surprise,” Tosh replied.
“You haven’t thought of anything yet, huh?” she asked.
“No, but I will,” he promised. “And it will be epic. Prepare to be impressed.”
“I’ll begin preparing immediately,” she promised. “Have fun tonight whatever you’re doing.”
“I will,” he said, then, after a pause, “Your feelings aren’t hurt that I’m not taking you along on these shindigs, are they? Because you said we’re not dating, and you know the type of gossip it would cause if you suddenly started showing up everywhere as my party date, especially because they’re mostly old people, and you know how old people talk.”
“Tosh,” she said when she could get a word in edgewise. “Of course my feelings are hurt. I hate you forever, and our friendship is finished. That’s why I called you from the attic today, to tell you how wounded I am that you’re not dragging me along to all your senior citizen events.”
“Ha, ha,” he said, sounding relieved. “Point taken. Fine, you’re not upset with me, and we’re spending New Year’s together. This is turning out to be a productive conversation. Maybe we should take a stab at ending world hunger while I have you on the line.”
“Sorry, I’ve got to go give myself a manicure,” she said.
“There’s that depth I love and admire. See you soon, I hope.”
“See you, Tosh. Have fun with your old people.”
“That sounds so wrong when you say it,” he said. “Later, Lacy.” She hung up and tucked the phone back in her pocket, smiling until she stepped inside and faced her mother.
Chapter 9
“I still can’t believe you failed to tell me you had a boyfriend.”
Kill me now, Lord, Lacy silently prayed. Out loud, she said, “Mom, do we have to discuss this now?” She gave a pointed glance to Gladys and her young grandson, Sean who were joining them for dinner.
“All I’m saying, Lacy, is that you could have let me know. Sometimes I think you purposely try to exclude me from your life.”
“Mom, Jason is not my boyfriend. We’re just friends, as I’ve told you several times now.”
“That’s not what it looked like when I walked in with the lights off and you two snuggled up on the couch together,” her mother said.
Lacy could practically feel Gladys squirm in her eagerness to dart away and begin spreading the news that Lacy and Jason were together and had been caught canoodling. “I thought you were dating Pastor Underhill,” Gladys said, her eyes narrowing shrewdly on Lacy’s face to watch her reaction to that accusation.
“I’m not dating anyone, Gladys,” Lacy said. “And Jason and I were not doing anything more than sitting on the couch having a conversation. And we were not snuggled together, Mom. We were on separate cushions.” And I shouldn’t have to explain myself to any of you, she thought. Though maybe the diversion was proving beneficial for her family’s other problem. Her mother hadn’t once mentioned the fact that Mr. Middleton had stayed for dinner without being expressly invited. He and her grandmother were sitting sedately by, watching the conversation bounce back and forth between mother and daughter.
“And I don’t understand why you insist on not dating anyone. You’re a beautiful young woman, even more so when you dress up and do something with your hair. Why waste what you’ve been given? Enjoy life and dating while you’re young,” her mother added as if Lacy hadn’t spoken.
“Don’t listen to her, Lacy. You’re too young to get serious with anyone,” Lacy’s father said with a patronizing you’ll-always-be-my-little-girl smile.
“For heaven’s sake, Clint. When we were her age she was already born. She’s twenty six and not getting any younger.”
“A person doesn’t have to be young to find love,” Mr. Middleton added calmly.
Lacy could see her mother gearing up for another tirade, so she cut her off at the pass. “I think we’re boring poor Sean to death, everyone. It looks like he and I are both finished with our food. Why don’t we go play video games in the living room, Sean?”
Sean’s face lit at the proffered lifeline, but she was as glad for the escape as he was, maybe even more so because she had been the center of the discussion for so long now.
“I’m glad you brought your game system,” she whispered as she left the room. “You have no idea how glad.”
Sean laughed. “Yeah, I remember you said you like video games. It’s nice to have someone to play with. I don’t know anyone else here, and Gran isn’t one much for games.”
Lacy thought of Gladys’s plastic-covered living room and felt a wave of pity for Sean. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he was in the old woman’s home. He couldn’t even lie down and relax on the couch without making a squeaking noise like he was lying on a pool raft. “I’ll be glad to play with you any time.” She almost told him she had been lonely, too, and then remembered she was talking to a kid. It probably wasn’t prudent to pour out her heart to someone who couldn’t even shave yet.
Lacy tried to connect the system to her grandmother’s television—thinking that she should handle the electronics since she was the adult. Then she quickly realized she had no idea what she was doing. Sean tried to tell her what went where, and in the end she simply moved aside so he could do it.
“I should tell you that I liked video games ten years ago. I have no idea what to do with this system,” Lacy said, staring at the foreign-looking remote in her hand.
“You’re going to love it, Lacy,” Sean assured her. After a rudimentary lesson, he started with a simple racing game. True to his prediction, Lacy loved it. After the racing game, they progressed to a more interactive game that required more buttons, and after that they played a gory war game that, under normal circumstances, Lacy would have eschewed for its violence. But tonight she simply wanted to shoot things, amazed by how well the game worked to relieve her anxiety. By the time Gladys entered the room in search of her grandson, Lacy was feeling downright mellow.
She hugged Sean goodbye, promising him a rem
atch. In many ways, he reminded her of the male version of herself when she was a preteen. Gawky and insecure, he hadn’t quite grown out of his baby fat or into his looks. As if all that wasn’t bad enough, he had been pawned off on Gladys, a woman who seemingly had no idea how to relate to him. Lacy was glad they were coming to the holiday party. She made a mental note to introduce Sean to Tosh, sure they would hit it off well. And Jason, too, for that matter. Younger kids had always worshiped Jason, first for being a football star and then for being a cop. He was the teenage male epitome of awesome.
Who was she kidding? Jason was the adult female epitome of awesome, too, practically perfect in every way except the one that mattered most—his paralyzing fear of commitment was well known by all. Even if Lacy felt ready for commitment herself, she would suffer no illusions about Jason. Unlike some women, she believed a man if he said he didn’t want to settle down. Why waste time trying to reform someone who didn’t want to be reformed? There were plenty of other men who were happy to commit to a relationship. Tosh, for instance. He wasn’t pathetic or needy, but Lacy knew he was ready to settle down. She felt a constant and gnawing sense of guilt that she couldn’t be what he needed, at least not right now.
Gladys and Sean took their leave, and Lacy’s mother, father, and grandmother entered the family room. Mr. Middleton was nowhere in sight, and Lucinda was looking strained. Lacy’s mellow mood faded away, to be replaced by anxiety again. “Where’s Gr—Mr. Middleton?” she amended herself in the nick of time, guessing correctly it wouldn’t go well with her mother if Lacy called him “Grandpa.”
“Getting some air,” Lacy’s father said tightly.
Lacy zeroed in on her mother. “What did you say to him, Mom?”
“I simply reminded him once again that he’s not my father,” Frannie said, striking a petulant pose with her arms crossed over her chest.
Lacy looked helplessly at her grandmother who returned her expression with a slight shrug. With a growl of frustration, Lacy stormed from the room and slammed out of the house. She was so angry that it took her a moment to find her grandfather, though he was sitting sedately on the porch swing, slowly drifting back and forth. Lacy looked at him, trying to read his expression, but it was too dark outside.
“Times like these I’m almost sad I gave up smoking my pipe so many years ago,” he said serenely.
“I’m sorry things aren’t going well,” Lacy said, shuffling over to sit next to him. He moved aside, making room and then used his feet to slowly swing them again.
“I don’t know that I expected them to be any different,” he said.
Lacy frowned, feeling tears tickle the back of her throat. Why should he have expected things to go well when most of his life had been spent watching his family through a stranger’s lens? “Mom is, well, you know…She has her good points.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have to try and sell me on her, Lacy. She’s my daughter, warts and all. Sometimes in life you make choices, good or bad, and you can spend a long time paying for those choices. I hope you make wise ones.”
“I’m trying,” Lacy said. “Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do.”
“Twenty-six is an odd age,” he agreed. “Everyone says you’re an adult, but most days you don’t feel like it.”
“Exactly,” she said, relieved that someone had hit the nail on the head so succinctly. “Living with Grandma is nice, but it doesn’t exactly make me feel like a grownup.”
“You’re living with her because you choose to, not because you need to. There’s a big distinction.”
“Now I’m living with her because I choose to, but when I first came home it was definitely out of necessity. It was either here or Florida with Mom and Dad, and you see what that would have been like.” She shuddered.
“You did what you had to do at the time,” he said.
Lacy laughed, realizing he would defend her even to herself. “There’s really no way for me to say what a loser I am is there, Grandpa?”
“No way I’ll believe,” he said tenderly.
She linked her arm through his. “Did you buy me a locket for Christmas?”
“No. In fact, I didn’t buy you anything. I made you something instead. I’ve been waiting for the best time to give it to you, out of view of your mother. Now seems like as good a time as any, I guess.” He reached to the ground beside him, lifted something heavy, and set it in her lap.
“It’s a scrapbook with all my family history, as well as a few pictures of Barbara. Some are even of us together when she was carrying Frannie.” He paused, nervously clearing his throat. “I, ah, hope you like it.”
She catapulted herself into his arms, belatedly grabbing the book when it started to slide off her lap. “I love it. You can’t imagine how much it means to me to have this, to know some of our family history. This is something that I’ll always treasure and be able to tell my kids about. Thank you.” She kissed his weathered cheek, wetting it with her tears; she was simply so touched that she couldn’t keep them in. Imagining him laboring over the scrapbook was enough to make her rush into the house and demand her mother make amends with him.
He gave her a tight, one-armed hug in return, awkwardly patting her back. “Would you rather have had a locket?” he asked.
She laughed, easing away from him to hug the book to her chest. “No, I already have one. Someone sent it to me anonymously. It wasn’t Tosh, and it wasn’t you.”
“I suppose that just leaves Jason,” he said sagely, swinging them with his feet again. “Not sure how I feel about a young man giving my granddaughter jewelry.”
“Do you approve of Jason?” she asked.
“Well that’s an impossible question to answer correctly,” he said. “If you’re asking if I think anyone is good enough for you, then the answer is no. No one is good enough for you. But, realizing that you’re eventually going to have to settle for someone, do I believe Jason can foot the bill as well as anyone? The answer is maybe.”
“Why maybe?” She thought he liked Jason.
“Jason is a good man, but he has a lot of baggage. Baggage can weigh even the best man down. I think he needs to purge some of what he’s holding onto before he can commit to anyone.”
Great, so not only was Jason afraid of commitment, but he was also one of the walking wounded. He was like the perfect off-limits bad boy, just waiting to be reformed and tamed. “I don’t want to love Jason,” Lacy declared.
“But you do,” her grandfather said. He didn’t seem to expect an answer, which was good because Lacy had none to give.
Chapter 10
The cookies were baked. The tree was up. Now all that was left for Lacy to do was to finish her Christmas shopping. But that was easier said than done. Money was no object anymore, so her budget wasn’t what was stopping Lacy. And she had already bought presents for her mother and grandmother. The problem was the men in her life. What was she going to buy for her father, grandfather, Jason, and Tosh? And Sean, she should probably buy something for him, too, although that was pretty easy; she could simply buy him a new videogame.
Inspired by her grandfather’s thoughtfulness, she wanted to think outside the box, but where to begin? Her father was easy compared to everyone else; he was a passionate golfer. Now that he was retired and living in Florida, he had plenty of time and energy to indulge his hobby. He never grew tired of anything related to golf. Perhaps Lacy was taking the generic way out, but why not buy him what he liked? She would find another golfer, ask his opinion, and buy whatever he told her.
With one man marked off her list that left only her grandfather, Tosh, and Jason. Lacy didn’t want to spend the day shopping alone, but her grandparents lacked the stamina to keep up with a full day of power shopping, and her parents were once again busy catching up with friends. After yesterday’s rescue, she was loathe to call Jason—who was probably working anyway—and that left only Tosh.
“Can you play hooky today?” she asked as soon as he answered his
phone.
He gave the longsuffering sigh that had become his trademark lately, the one that told her he was exhausted. “Sure, why not?” he said, surprising them both. By the time he showed up at her house, he was almost giddy at the thought of taking a day off work.
“I have to be back in time for tonight’s party, though,” he warned her.
“What’s tonight?”
“The Daughters of the American Revolution. And, yes, before you ask, I have to dress in revolutionary regalia which they kindly provided for me, complete with one of those three corner hats.”
“Why do you have to attend the DAR party?”
“I dunno. Episcopalians and the DAR go hand in hand somehow. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I just want to relax and forget work before I have to get my George Washington groove on.”
“Your life is odd, Tosh,” she told him.
He grinned. “I prefer to say it’s interesting. So who are we shopping for today?”
“You, Grandpa, and Dad.” She trailed off, looking out the window.
“That’s it?” he added, knowing her too well.
“Jason, too.”
The answering silence was significant. “Okay,” he drawled at last.
“Are you shopping?” she asked.
“No, I’m done.”
“How did you get done already when you’ve been so busy?”
“I don’t procrastinate, unlike some people I know,” he said.
“I didn’t mean to procrastinate. It just sneaked up on me this year.”
“It has a way of doing that,” Tosh agreed. “Where are we going?”
She directed him to the larger mall in the next town, knowing it had a golf store and she would at least be able to check her dad off her list. On the way, she told him about the gift from her grandfather and asked him what she should get for him.
“You have a lot of money now,” Tosh pointed out. “What’s something you can get for him that he might not be able to afford for himself?”
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