“I have no idea,” Lacy said. “He doesn’t seem to care much about material things. All he really wants is to have a good relationship with my mom, and I can’t buy that.”
“But you can buy them some time together,” Tosh said. “How about tickets for him and your grandmother to visit Florida?”
“Tosh, that’s brilliant,” Lacy exclaimed, clutching his bicep in excitement. “Why didn’t I think of that? Grandma never goes to Florida anymore since she stopped driving long distances, and she’s a little afraid of flying. Sending him along with her is the perfect ruse to get him down there. Mom will have to understand that Grandma can’t make the trip by herself. Won’t she?”
Tosh shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes people get an idea stuck in their heads, and it’s hard to change. Like your mom’s resentment of Mr. Middleton. Like you believing you need to buy a present for a man who’s not me. Crazy.”
Lacy smiled, squeezing his bicep. “You’re both my friends; don’t be jealous, Tosh.”
“Oh, Lacy, I’m so far beyond jealous there isn’t a word for what I am,” Tosh said.
Lacy wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so she didn’t. Instead, the topic moved on to Tosh regaling her with some stories from the parties he had attended lately. He could always make her laugh, and today was no exception as he caught her up on the petty disagreements of his parishioners. She supposed he technically wasn’t supposed to tell her the things he did, but she never repeated what he said, and who else was he supposed to talk to? Everyone needed to unload once in a while, even pastors who were supposed to be above it all.
In the end, they had a perfect day together, strolling through the mall, talking and laughing as they shopped. Tosh turned out to be very helpful when it came to carrying Lacy’s father’s present, which was large, awkward, and heavy. Maybe golf was good exercise, because she was exhausted just from shopping for clubs.
She couldn’t buy Tosh’s present while he was there, and she didn’t feel comfortable buying for Jason in front of him, but she knew what she was going to get for both of them. Tosh needed a way to relax and decompress. After playing video games with Sean, Lacy knew a new game system was the prescription for Tosh. He didn’t have a system, for whatever reason, but she knew he enjoyed games because they had talked about it.
Even though it was difficult to think about Jason when she was with Tosh, he hadn’t been far from Lacy’s mind during the day. She kept picturing him returning to his treeless, lonely house and the image made her sad. All of a sudden she knew what she was going to buy him for Christmas, but she would need help, and she knew just where to get it. As soon as she and Tosh finished lunch, she escaped to the bathroom and pulled out her phone, pushing a number she kept on speed dial.
“Travis, it’s Lacy,” she said. Travis was an officer at the jail. He and Lacy had become good friends ever since her grandmother’s incarceration.
“I know; I recognized your ringtone. Why are you whispering?”
“Because I’m in a public bathroom. I was wondering if you could do me a favor,” she said.
“Anything,” he said, his sincere tone telling her he meant it.
“Can you swipe Jason’s house key and make a copy?”
“Uh, anything but that. I have no idea how that would even be possible.”
“If anyone can do it, it’s you,” she said, and it was true. Travis had become a jack-of-all trades informant, helping her with several problems. Belatedly she realized she also needed to buy a present for him.
“I’ll do my best. When do you need it by?”
“As soon as possible,” Lacy said. “I’d like to use it tomorrow.”
“Okay, but I may have to involve others in this plot.”
“Whatever you need. Thanks, Travis. I’ll buy you something pretty.”
Travis laughed. “See that you do. Later, Lacy.”
They disconnected and she rejoined Tosh. “I just remembered I have to buy a present for Travis,” Lacy said.
“You just remembered that in the bathroom?” Tosh asked, sounding suspicious.
“The bathroom is a good place to think. C’mon,” she grabbed his hand and led him to the electronics store where she bought a game for Sean and a gift card for Travis, that way he could pick out whatever he wanted.
“Shopping is exhausting,” Lacy said as Tosh drove her home.
“And you didn’t even get everything from your list,” he said.
“Don’t worry; I know what your present is going to be now,” she assured him.
He parked in her grandmother’s driveway and turned to her with a smile that looked sad. “Don’t buy me anything, Lacy. I don’t need anything. I just want…Well, you know what I want, but I guess you can’t give me that for Christmas.”
Lacy faced forward as the levity was sucked from the car. Why couldn’t Tosh be happy with their friendship as it was? Why did he feel the constant need to pressure her for more? She was exactly where she wanted to be with him, but apparently he wasn’t in the same place with her. Why couldn’t he let it go?
“Hey,” he said, reaching over the seat to clasp her hand. “I’m sorry I brought it up. My defenses are weakened because I’m tired. I know you’re not ready for anything more than what we have.”
Lacy let go his hand and circled his neck, hugging him tightly. “I do love you, Tosh. You know that.”
“Yes, I know that,” he said, still sounding sad. He returned her hug, though, and rested his head on hers. “Duty calls,” he said. He sounded more cheerful, but she thought his tone might be forced. “I need to go stop the British from advancing on our town. I’ll see you tomorrow at your awesome Christmas party.” He kissed her forehead and let her go, effectively dismissing her.
She let him go, trying not to be hurt by his brusque manner. The gnawing sense of guilt was back, guilt because she couldn’t be what he wanted her to be right now. Today it was accompanied by the fear that maybe she never would be. What happened when she was ready to move on and get over her hurt from Robert if the person she moved on with wasn’t Tosh? Would he still be her friend? She wasn’t sure, and that uncertainty made her uneasy.
When she went inside her house, the atmosphere was peaceful for once. Her mother and grandmother were working in the kitchen and the silence told her it was going well. Her father was reading a book on the couch, and her grandfather was reading the newspaper in the recliner. They both looked up at her with welcoming smiles.
“How did it go, sweetheart?” her father asked, setting aside his book. “Did you finish shopping?”
“Not quite, but I have a good idea of what I want to buy now. How was your day?” The question was loaded; had it been World War III?
“It was good,” her father replied. “Mom’s in a chipper mood today. She and Grandma are working together on supper, so it should be good.”
Lacy smiled. She was tempted to poke her head in the kitchen, but didn’t want to risk incurring her mother’s ire for any of the unknown reasons her mother tended to turn on her. Instead she sat beside her father on the couch. Her grandfather handed her the entertainment section of his paper, and she began to read before sleep took over and she dozed until it was time for supper.
Supper was another peaceful affair. Lacy wouldn’t exactly say it was a love fest, but the open hostility seemed to have died down a bit. For that she was thankful. They were able to have a pleasant conversation without her mother hurling accusations, insults, or veiled criticisms. The meal was delicious, but Lacy didn’t overindulge. All in all, it was shaping up to be a perfect evening. So of course it couldn’t last.
After cleaning up the kitchen, everyone retired to the family room to relax when Frannie’s phone rang. Lacy knew by the tone that it was her sister, and she tensed, clutching her hands on the edge of the sofa. Her mother answered cheerfully, asking a hundred questions about the Hamptons and Robert. At first Lacy was paralyzed, and then she felt as if she were drowning, as if each question her
mother asked was sucking her into inky, icy emotional darkness from which there was no recovery. Hearing her mother’s joy at talking to Riley and Riley’s apparent happiness on the other end of the line was too much for Lacy’s fragile psyche. Any emotional stability she had gained the last few months was suddenly shattered, and her only thought was escape.
With no clear objective in mind, she sprinted from the house, slamming the door behind her. Then she stopped short on the porch, looking around in dismay. Where could she go? She was already at her dead end. She had already fled New York and come to the solace of her grandmother’s house. If she couldn’t find comfort and healing here, then maybe there was none to be found.
She had no idea how long she stood on the porch, but suddenly her father was beside her, wrapping her in her coat.
“You forgot this,” he said gently.
Lacy realized then that she was freezing. She shrugged into the coat, shivering. “Thanks, Dad.”
He stood beside her, his hands braced against the railing as he peered out at the dark yard. “Your mother doesn’t mean to be as insensitive as she seems about the Robert situation, Lacy.”
“I know,” Lacy answered dully, not really believing the words.
“It’s hard on a parent to see their kids not getting along. She just wants things to be better between you and Riley; we both do.”
“How can they ever be right again, Dad?” Lacy asked, her voice cracking. “How could she have done this to me?”
Her father wrapped his arms around her, and she gave in to her tears then, crying against his chest as she had when she was a little girl.
“It just hurts so much,” she said.
“I know, baby,” he soothed. “I know.” When she had cried herself out, he transitioned them to the porch swing. Keeping his arm around her, he began to swing them as her grandfather had done the night before. “I have to tell you something about Riley, Lacy, something you don’t know. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but maybe it might explain it a little.”
“What is it?” Lacy asked, fear making her throat constrict. Was Riley dying?
“Riley has always been jealous of you,” he said.
The statement was so unexpected that Lacy laughed. “What? Why me?” Riley had always been the center of attention, always been the fun little fireball that drew adoration. She knew how to work a room, how to flirt with men, how to make friends. She had been the popular cheerleader while Lacy had been the stuffy band geek.
“Because you possess something naturally that Riley has to work hard for,” her father said.
“I don’t understand what you mean,” Lacy said.
“I know you don’t, and that’s what drives Riley crazy about you. Don’t misunderstand what I’m about to say. I think both my daughters are the most beautiful girls on the planet. But Riley, with her curly brown hair and freckles, looks like a lot of other girls with curly brown hair and freckles. Her dream is to stand out, to be different, to be the woman in the room who draws everyone’s eye. And that’s what you do, honey, without even trying. You with your long red hair and piercing green eyes. You walk into a room and heads turn, and you don’t even know it. Riley has to use everything at her disposal to gain the kind of attention that you receive without even trying. And it makes her crazy.”
“Dad, I think you might be a little biased. I’m not an ingénue. I’m the chubby girl who played clarinet in the marching band.”
“Lacy, you’re still looking at yourself with an old mirror, honey. That was a long time ago. Since then you’ve blossomed into an incredibly beautiful woman and you don’t even know it. That and the fact that you’re naturally aloof and reserved drives men crazy. You’re a challenge without even trying to be one.”
She blinked at him in surprise, sure he was exaggerating. Her, a challenge? What was challenging about her? They swung in silence for a few minutes as Lacy tried and failed to process the new information. At last she gave up, sure her father was exaggerating. If Riley was jealous of her then it was because she was jealous of every other woman on the planet. Riley was one of those women who had a lot of friends but still couldn’t seem to get along with anyone.
“Dad, I have to tell you something,” Lacy blurted, not even knowing she was going to unload on her father until she started.
“What is it, honey?” he asked.
“Mom’s adopted.” She dropped the bombshell and waited for it to find its mark.
“I know,” he said mildly.
“You know?” she exclaimed.
He nodded. “Your grandfather, your adopted grandfather, told me when Frannie and I were first married. I think he was dying to get the weight off his chest, and he also wanted to know if I thought Frannie should be told. I didn’t think so then, and I still don’t. It would kill her. I also know Mr. Middleton is her real father. I’m glad he and Lucy have found each other, and I’m glad you and he seem to have developed a bond. He’s a good man.”
“Do you think Mom will ever come around?”
“I don’t know, honey. You’re mom can be…difficult.” His tone was strained, making Lacy wonder if there was more going on between them than the current problem with Mr. Middleton.
“Dad, is everything okay with you and Mom?” Lacy asked.
“Sure it is,” he replied unconvincingly. “Don’t worry about it.” He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze and, despite the fact that she knew the words weren’t true, she allowed herself to be reassured. She couldn’t handle any more emotional turmoil right now.
“I’m also a millionaire,” Lacy said.
He sputtered and choked, coughing. Apparently he hadn’t known that part of the story. “What?” he croaked.
She filled him in on Barbara Blake’s murder and her subsequent inheritance. “It’s funny,” Lacy said, though her voice lacked humor. “She wanted me to inherit because she thought I was the most like her. But I only looked like her; Riley’s the one who inherited her personality, by all accounts.”
“I don’t know about that, Lacy,” he said. “I think you probably each have a little of her inside you, and a little of Lucy, and me, and your mom, and Mr. Middleton. Life’s not only about nature, there’s nurture, too. That’s why there’s good inside your mom, because she’s not only part of her biological mother, but part of Lucy, too. Riley may do hurtful things that you don’t understand, but she has a big heart, too. Someday maybe she’ll surprise you and show you that there’s more to her than a selfish and spoiled brat.”
She looked up at her father in surprise. She had never heard him speak so disparagingly about her sister before.
“I’m being unbiased for once,” he said. “Riley got away with far too much when she was little. If there was one thing I wish I could change, that would be it. I can only hope that hidden somewhere deep inside are all the good character traits I tried to instill.”
Lacy nodded, wishing she could offer more encouragement, but the truth was that she wasn’t sure about Riley. She wanted to believe what her father said--that Riley had goodness buried somewhere down deep below the selfishness. But right now Lacy was too hurt to be charitable. “’Truth will come to light,’” Lacy said absently, thinking that one day, for better or worse, Riley’s true character would reveal itself.
Her father chuckled, giving her shoulders another squeeze. “Know one of the things I love best about you, Lacy? It’s that you can quote Shakespeare in random conversation without being pretentious.”
Lacy smiled. Resting her head on his shoulder, they stayed on the porch for a long time, gently swaying back and forth.
Chapter 11
In the morning, it occurred to Lacy that her father might be the provider of her mystery locket. Like with Tosh, she didn’t have to beat around the bush with her dad, and she asked him as soon as she saw him at breakfast the next morning.
“Dad, did you buy me a locket for Christmas?”
“To be honest, honey, I have no idea,” he said, looking
up in surprise from his piece of coffeecake. “Your mom buys all the presents and puts my name on them. Sorry to disillusion you.”
“That’s okay; I sort of knew that already. I was just checking.”
He nodded, returning his attention to his cake. Lacy sat across from him and cut her own generous serving of cake. That left only Jason, but for some reason she didn’t want to accept that the necklace was from him. Maybe it was because the inscription was so direct and personal that it left no doubt about his feelings. Though, if he really intended to tell her he was in love with her, why would he do it in locket form? The locket was beautiful and thoughtful, but the anonymity left a bad taste in her mouth. If someone really loved her, why not come out and say it? Unless there was a reason he couldn’t. But what could that reason be? Did she have a secret admirer in prison? Travis flashed in her mind when she thought of the jail, but he wouldn’t send her a locket. They had already discussed and ruled out the possibility of them dating. At five years her junior, Travis was too young.
Thoughts of Travis led her to remember she had to deliver Jason’s present. “Dad, what are you doing today?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “Unless you count finishing the book I started yesterday. Do you need something?”
Lacy nodded. “Can you come with me to deliver a present to one of my friends?”
“Sure,” he said.
“We’ll sort of have to break into his house and he’s a cop. Is that a problem?”
He blinked at her. “Uh, I guess not. It’s been a while since I was last arrested. Could be an adventure.”
“He won’t arrest us,” she said. “He’s the type to shoot first and ask questions later, so we have a better chance of winding up dead than in jail.”
“Oh, good, something to look forward to then.”
They shared a smile over the table. “When do we get to meet this man?” her father asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Don’t you remember Jason?” she asked. “He was the quarterback my last couple years of high school.”
Christmas Steele Page 8
