Miss Me When the Sun Goes Down

by Lisa Olsen

  “On second thought, why don’t you go sit over there in the corner while I take care of it,” I scowled, using my own blood to heal him up. Luckily, once the angry looking wound had been repaired, he didn’t seem to be that bad off. His head still hung limply, but his heart beat steady and strong.

  Now that the bleeding had stopped, Ellie’s head seemed to clear, and I got her to compel him to forget about it all without her lunging for his throat again. Once we’d sent him back to slouching on one of the hard plastic seats in the Laundromat, we stepped out into the cool night air, Ellie’s jaw cracking as she yawned wide with the coming dawn.

  “I made a bags of that, didn’t I?” she sighed.

  “You’re still learning, don’t beat yourself up about it. Control will come with time, I promise.” She still looked a little wild, disheveled and smeary, and I led her back to the car where the guys waited. “Oh, I almost forgot, did you ask him if he belonged to someone else?”

  “There wasn’t time.”

  “Of course there was. You weren’t about to starve to death in the thirty seconds it would have taken to make sure you weren’t stepping on someone else’s toes.”

  “Easy for you to say, you’re older than dirt.” She gave a very unlady-like snort. “Some of us are barely counting the minutes until we can feed again.”

  “I’m not older than dirt…” My face scrunched up in protest. Was that how she saw me?

  “Don’t get the wind up your drawers, I only meant you’re lucky you don’t have the same cravings any longer. That’s the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, you know?” A forlorn note crept into her voice and I wondered if it was really as bad as she said or if she was only being overly dramatic. “How long did it take before you didn’t feel like turning everyone into a human Pez dispenser?”

  I had no idea. I wished I had someone to ask, but no one in my immediate circle knew I wasn’t an old hat at this. I could always call and ask Mason, but the less involvement he had with Ellie, the better. We had the forged documents Rob had gotten for her, but if I asked him for help on the care and feeding of a newbie vamp, that might prompt too many questions on where her Sire was, and how I’d come to be looking out for her. No, it was better to stumble along in the dark, at least until I got myself into a jam.

  In the meantime, I decided to dodge the question. “It’ll get better soon, you’ll see,” I promised, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in a one armed hug before pulling the car door open for her. “Before you know it you’ll be able to help someone else like you all that much more since you’ll know what it feels like. Much better than those of us who are older than dirt,” I smirked.

  Ellie was already zonked out by the time we got back to the apartment and Isak brought her upstairs for me, even though I could have carried her without breaking a sweat. After a quick visual check of the apartment, I convinced the guys I’d be perfectly safe in my own home and I sent them on their way. I was surprised to find Maggie still up and around when I finished changing into my pj’s, a mug of something hot and fragrant in her hands.

  “I thought you’d be in bed by now,” I yawned, pulling my fuzzy faerie blanket out of the closet to snuggle with on the couch.

  Maggie perched on the end of the coffee table, her spine straight as ever, despite the late hour. “I wanted to speak with you about my employment, if you’ve a few minutes.”

  “Did you get a job?”

  “No… I meant, being employed as your feeder.”

  “Oh.” Was she worried I’d pounce on her once I got the munchies? I thought we’d moved past all that. “You don’t have to do that anymore, I thought we talked about that. There’s no rush for you to go out and find something to do, you can take your time. Didn’t you say you had enough money to live comfortably for a while?”

  “I do, but it won’t last forever, and I want to feel as though I’m contributing to the household.”

  “Hey, if you want to contribute, you could pick up a sponge and give the bathroom a whirl anytime you like. You don’t have to give me your blood, Maggie.”

  “Yes, but… I feel as if it’s the least I can do after you’ve been so kind to me.”

  I sat up, our knees nearly touching as I leaned forward. “Maggie, you don’t have to feel guilted into doing anything you don’t want to. I can find my own meals, I’m a big girl.”

  “Yes, of course you are. I merely thought, that is… if you and I had a formal relationship with me as your feeder, then I would be able to comfortably rebuff any other requests to… you know.”

  “Did you get propositioned last night at the club?”

  “No, everyone there assumed I belonged to you.”

  “Well, who then?” All of a sudden I realized where this was coming from. “Has Ellie still been trying to drink from you?”

  “She’s brought it up more than once. At first I thought she was joking, but sometimes I’m not so sure. So far there’s been nothing more to it than that.”

  I let out a long breath. “At least she hasn’t tried compelling you to agree though, right?”

  “No,” she said quietly, staring down at the mug of tea her hands were wrapped around.

  “I’ll have a talk with her and make sure she understands that’s not going to happen.” I’d compel her myself if I had to.

  “I didn’t want to make a fuss…”

  “No, I’m glad you told me, Maggie. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You do still want to live here with us, don’t you? Or is it getting too weird?”

  “No, I like it here,” she answered quickly. “I wouldn’t mind so much if it was you to have a drink every now and again. The last time was lovely,” she added shyly.

  “I’ll keep that in mind, but I think it’s better if maybe we keep our friendship just that – a friendship, not a business arrangement.” I had way too many murky relationships going already without adding that level to it.

  “Alright, I’ll say goodnight then.” She rose with supple grace, carrying the tea with her to her room.

  Turning off the lights and battening down all the hatches for the day, I settled onto the couch with my cozy blanket and waited for sleep to come, but I couldn’t relax enough. There were far too many things spinning around in the back of my mind, jockeying for position at the forefront.

  I couldn’t help but worry about whether or not I’d end up regretting all those bold words in the club. Over and over I relived the way it all went down, each time cringing a little more on the inside when I revisited just how daring I’d been in a public forum. I had to be nuts to think there’d be no repercussions from the night.

  And what about Ellie? Had she really been scheming to drink from Maggie this whole time and I hadn’t noticed? Shouldn’t she be learning some restraint by now? She would’ve drained that guy dry if I hadn’t stopped her in time. What about Hanna? Had she worked things out with Mason, or was she still freaking out?

  How was Rob doing for that matter? I’d gotten so used to him hanging out with me, it felt strange not to feel his reserved presence all my waking hours. He’d said he might be out of contact for a while. Should I send him a “what’s up” text, or would that be weird?

  Speaking of late night booty calls, I wondered how Bridget fared in LaLa land. Had Felix given her the royal treatment, or had she been left to entertain herself while he tried to put out fires in the wake of Tommy’s death? I considered giving her a call, but whether she kept company with vampires or not, I was willing to bet she’d be passed out at that hour.

  Then there was Jakob… Why did I feel like we weren’t always on the same page? Sure, I felt attracted to him (boy howdy, did I!), but it felt like I never knew what crazy thing he’d do next, and I hated that feeling of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, or having to scramble to clean up his messes. Maybe I’d come to feel more comfortable around him in time. After all, we hadn’t spent all that much time together really. And maybe, when the pain of losi
ng Bishop wasn’t so raw…

  Bishop.

  My gaze slid over to the clock on the DVD player, and I swiftly calculated what time it would be in England. He might be rising right about now. Maybe he was lying in bed thinking about me, the same as I was doing. Maybe I should give him a call? The temptation nearly had me reaching for my phone before I decided maybe I should get some rest before what was left of my brains started leaking out of my ears.

  Despite the biological pull to shut down once the sun rose higher in the sky, my brain wouldn’t shut off for the day. The apartment was quiet, too quiet, and all around me I could hear people in the other units getting ready for the day. All at once I wanted to be a part of that human world again.

  Bundling up like I used to when I went to school, I ventured out in the early morning light, grateful for the haze of cloud cover that shielded me from the worst of the sun. It burned slightly on my exposed skin, but it felt good in a way, as crazy as that sounds. It made me feel alive. Thanks to my sunglasses, my eyes didn’t even water much as I trudged my way down the street.

  I didn’t feel human again though. There was no urgency in my step, and what people I passed on the street kept their heads down, huddled against the cold as they hurried to work or school or whatever.

  I found myself tracing a familiar path to my favorite teashop, the Doormouse, thinking a cup of cocoa might help settle me down for the day. It was nice to have a little Anja-time, away from the chatter of the girls or the looming presence of the guys. Without a personal space to call my own, I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed my privacy. Even in a public place, I felt more at peace than I had since coming home.

  I sat huddled away from the window, sipping my hot chocolate and watching the people go by, oblivious to my scrutiny. It’d been a long time since I’d gone out at that hour. Without the jittery stims to keep me awake, fatigue pressed on me, making my limbs feel heavier, slower, but not unpleasantly so. Slowly, my mind started to simmer down to a low roar, and my thoughts turned to my sister. How was she coping with the sudden discovery of vampires in the world?

  More than anything, I wanted to make sure she was alright and I decided to take advantage of my rare solitude and give her a call. It was either that or give in to the temptation of dialing Bishop, even if only to hear him speak on the outgoing voicemail message. Reasoning that Hanna would probably be awake by now, if not up and getting ready for work, I called her instead of Bishop. Choosing the smarter obsession, I thought.

  “Hey, shouldn’t you be tucked away in your coffin by now?” she answered, her glib tone letting me know I’d caught her already up and around.

  “Coffins are so passé these days. It’s all about tricked out storage lockers now, but mine gets terrible cell reception,” I quipped. “How are you, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m dealing.”

  “Did you talk to Mason?”

  She made a huffing sound, and I wondered if she was working out or something. “Not really. We’ve traded a few texts, sort of an – I’m still alive, and I’m not ready to deal with you yet – kind of thing. We made arrangements to meet for drinks later tonight to talk things out in a public place.”

  “That doesn’t sound good.” Meeting a guy in a public place for ‘the talk’ almost always ended in a break up in my experience.

  “I need to take a step back right now, but I’m not pulling a complete retreat.”

  Hopefully that would be enough for Mason for the moment, I was just grateful she still talked to me like I was her sister. “He does love you, you know. Try to keep that in mind.”

  “Like Bishop still loves you?”

  “I don’t want to talk about Bishop,” I shut her down, caught off guard by the change in subject from her love life to mine. “What makes you think he still loves me?”

  “I thought you didn’t want to talk about him.”

  She had me there.

  “I don’t. We’re over and done with, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just wondered what made you say that is all.”

  “I heard Mason talking the other day. I don’t think he knew I was up, and he was talking to Bishop on Skype. He asked a lot of questions about you.”

  “What kind of questions?” My suspicions kicked into overdrive.

  “Questions like, had Mason seen you, are you okay, how did you seem to him. Stuff like that.”

  So he had been thinking of me after all. I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about it. Though I’d told her all about the way I’d been turned and my secret identity as Anja Gudrun, I hadn’t gone into the whole can of worms with regards to my being able to compel other vampires. Not because I’d wanted to keep it a secret from her, but because I didn’t think she needed to deal with my mess on top of her own. “I think maybe it’s better if we don’t talk about Bishop for now.”

  “Hey, it’s none of my business, I only thought you’d like to know the guy’s still thinking about you. Just a little food for thought. He seemed miserable as hell from the sound of his voice.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. On the one hand, it felt good to know he hadn’t stopped thinking about me altogether, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to suffer over something that wasn’t really his fault. But I’d left the ball in his court – it was up to him if he wanted to reach out and ask me anything himself.

  “So, are you dating Jakob now? Is that the thing?”

  “I guess so.” My voice must have sounded glum, because she gave a short bark of laughter.

  “Jesus, Dad sounds more thrilled about the idea than you do.”

  “What was that about Dad and Jakob?” I asked, that mental image shaking me somewhat out of my funk.

  “Mom said they went fishing or something the day after Thanksgiving, and when they were done, Jakob gave Dad the boat.”

  Oh God… “He didn’t… Please tell me you’re messing with me right now.”

  “I kid you not.”

  See what I meant about waiting for the other shoe to drop? “He doesn’t know when to quit,” I muttered, resolving to have a word or two with him after dusk so I didn’t devolve into slurred accusations like the last time I’d called him drunk on sleep deprivation.

  “Hey, if you’re going to break up with him, do you think you could wait until after he pays off my student loan?”

  “He’s paying off your debt?” My voice reached an octave only pets could hear, only to be drowned out by Hanna’s giggling laughter.

  “Gotcha.”

  “Not funny,” I growled, but she didn’t stop laughing.

  “See that’s where you’re wrong, I’m pretty sure that was hilarious. You should try to lighten up, Anja. You’ve become a real downer since you died.”

  “Thanks, Hanna, glad to know you still care.” Despite the teasing words, I really did feel better, even if most of that was at my expense. It meant the world to me that she could treat me the same as always. Overall I felt lighter, less twisted up in knots over all the loose ends in my life. Maybe now I could finally sleep. “Hey listen, I should probably go, but give me a call if you need to talk after you meet with Mason. I don’t care what time it is.”

  “Alright, maybe I’ll stop by there afterwards and we can grab a cup of coffee and a pint of B negative or something.”

  Ooh, that could lead to trouble. “You can’t come to my place, there are too many people there who don’t know I have a sister.”

  “Can’t you tell them I’m your friend?”

  Why hadn’t I thought of that? Still, it didn’t sit well with me. I instinctively wanted to keep those two parts of my life as separated as possible. “Maybe, but it might be weird.” Did many vamps have human friends? I didn’t think so, not without a feeding understanding between them. “Besides, Ellie’s been really unpredictable lately.”

  “Which one is she again?”

  “She’s the baby vamp whose fangs are too big for her britches right now.”

  “Yep…
maybe I’ll just call,” she immediately agreed. “Besides, I might not be in the mood for company after we fight.”

  “Yes, I think that would probably be for the best. But I’ll come to you, wherever you are. And who knows, maybe things will all work out great, and you won’t end up fighting with Mason at all.”

  “Oh no, there is definitely going to be a fight.”

  Uh oh, that didn’t sound so good.

  “Without a fight, we can’t get to the make up sex, and I definitely don’t want to miss out on that.”

  “Whoa…” I stopped her before she got into more details than I wanted to hear. “Okay, first off, TMI, but secondly, it sounds like maybe you’ve forgiven him after all.”

  A long sigh was given. “Yeah, what can I say? I’m screwed, I love the big jerk.”

  “We are all fools in love,” I quoted Jane Austen. “And on that note, I should really go now. I think I’ve gotten about all the sunshine I can handle.” The fog had started to burn off outside, it was going to be a fun walk home.

  “Alright, thanks for calling. Wish me luck tonight.”

  “You won’t need it,” I replied, hanging up. At least I hoped not.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Why do you sleep in the common room?”

  “What?” I blinked up at the sight of Jakob looming over me, his blue eyes especially vivid as they peered at me closely.

  “It was usual where I grew up, but I understand most modern folk have an aversion to sleeping in a single hall together.”

  “What are you talking about?” I wasn’t firing on all cylinders yet. Did we have a date and I’d forgotten completely? I didn’t see a sign of either Ellie or Maggie – who’d let him in?

  “I’m simply wondering why you choose to sleep on the couch instead of the bedroom, as is your due.”

  “Oh that.” I ran a surreptitious hand through my hair, wondering how ridiculous I looked in that moment. “There’s a premium on space at the moment, so it’s sofa-city for me.”

  “Why don’t you make the human sleep on the floor in the bedchamber?”