The Thirteenth Monk (Bartholomew the Adventurer Trilogy Book 2)

by Tom Hoffman

  “You’re in luck, A2, they issued me a floater, so we don’t have to walk home from the station. Hop aboard.”

  Edmund stepped onto the wide silver disc and grabbed one of the metal guard rails. He knew he was indestructible, but this did not seem as safe as Oliver’s Adventurer II.

  “Hold on tight.”

  Edmund watched nervously as Edmund the Explorer tapped on a grid of glowing circles.

  “Take us home, floater.”

  With a soft hum the floater lifted easily off the ground. There was no rocking motion, even when racing across the open fields Edmund felt as though he was standing on solid ground. “This is quite enjoyable. I have not seen a floater before. Where do they come from?”

  “They build them on sub level 4 in the Fortress. Hey, wait a minute, you’re not an Anarkkian spy are you? I’d hate to have to vaporize you right after I paid good credits for you.”

  “I assure you I am not an Anarkkian spy, although I am not absolutely certain what a spy’s function is. Logically, however, if I don’t know what a spy does, the odds do not favor my being one.”

  “Unless you’re lying to me.”

  “I am incapable of lying.”

  “How do I know that’s not a lie?”

  “I am unable to verify my programming parameters at this time, but if you contact your Authorized Rabbiton Service Agent they will corroborate my statement.”

  “Oh, dear. I can see I’m going to have to teach you about something us rabbits call jokes. A joke is a statement so absurd that it could not possibly be true, and the idea of such a ridiculous event occurring makes us laugh.”

  “I see, you were making one of these jokes about my being an Anarkkian spy. This is something I will remember. When I hear a joke, should I make the laughing noise, or just acknowledge that I am aware it is a joke?”

  “We’ll get back to that, A2. I can see it’s going to take a while to whip you into shape.”

  “Ha ha ha ha.”

  “Did you just laugh?”

  Yes, I was laughing at your joke. You said you were going to whip me, and I do not believe you are the sort of rabbit who would be capable of such an action, especially knowing I am quite indestructible and would not be affected by it.”

  “A2, I believe we’re going to get along famously. Hold on, here we are. Welcome to your new home, my friend.”

  When he was introduced to Emma, Edmund was drawn to her immediately. She reminded him of Clara. She looked directly at him when she talked to him, and took the time to listen to what he was saying. There was a gentleness about her, as there was with Clara.

  “Now A2, I know my dear husband Edmund has great plans to include you on his adventures, but someone needs to keep this house clean. Did they program you to operate a vacuumator?”

  “Ha ha ha ha.”

  “Oh dear, he’s been teaching you about jokes, hasn’t he?”

  It took several weeks before Edmund became accustomed to his new home. Once he had found a routine and knew what to expect each day he began to relax. He was gradually forgetting the world he lived in now was only a forgotten memory from long ago. It was a pleasant and orderly life, and he liked being around Edmund the Explorer and Emma.

  All that changed one day when Edmund the Explorer returned home from an assignment.

  “Emma, it’s not safe here anymore. It’s time for you to go to Betador. There are real signs of a possible Anarkkian invasion. They’re opening doorways to this world almost as fast as our shapers can close them. We don’t know how much longer until they break through.”

  “Absolutely not. I am staying here with you. This is where we both belong.”

  “I won’t be here. I have to leave. They’re sending me to Nirriim. There’s an artifact there that must not fall into the hands of the Anarkkians. I’m taking A2 with me. I have you booked on a ship to Betador. It’s a safe world. Once I get back from Nirriim I’ll meet you there.”

  “I don’t want to go. I don’t want you to go. I want things to stay the way they are now.”

  Edmund took Emma’s paw in his. “I wish with all my heart they could stay the same. The happiest years of my life have been here with you. But you have said it yourself many times, we shouldn’t reject what life puts before us. There is a reason for everything, even if we don’t understand it now. Emma, no matter what happens, we will find each other again.” He touched his forehead to hers and whispered, “We are bound together beyond time and space, two hearts entangled in the cosmic lace.”

  Emma sighed deeply and put her arms around Edmund, holding him close to her. “You’re such a romantic. You win. I’ll pack. But when I see you again you’d better not have taught A2 any of those rude jokes you think are so funny.”

  Two days later Edmund the Explorer got a cloud comm from Emma saying she had arrived safely in Betador.

  “Okay A2, Emma is safe and we’ve got ourselves some adventuring to do. We’re going through the World Doors in the Swamp of Lost Things to a place called Nirriim. The Anarkkians are after an artifact there, something called a time throttle, and we have to find it before they do. But first, we have to pay a visit to a very peculiar fellow who goes by the name of Bruno Rabbit.

  Chapter 19

  The Cave

  “Ready to go?”

  Edmund nodded, picking up the enormous canvas pack and slinging it over his shoulder. “I believe I have all the items you requested. There is a mini food synthesizer, microwater purifier, three sets of clothing, medpacks, cloud comm unit, force tent, vape pistol and rifle, camofield screen, hydroboots and minifloater.”

  “You forgot to pack the bathtub. I might want to relax in a nice warm tub with a good book if things get too hectic.”

  “Ha ha ha ha!”

  “A2, you are now officially a connoisseur of my fine vintage jokes. Time to head out. They’re sending a scout ship to take us to Bruno Rabbit.”

  “He is in Pterosaur Valley?”

  “Pterosaur Valley? What’s that?”

  Edmund panicked. He hadn’t meant to say that, it just popped out. Pterosaur Valley wouldn’t exist for another fifteen hundred years. “Ha ha ha ha. I was making a joke.”

  “Hmmm... a valiant effort my friend, but a little obscure for my refined sensibilities.” He looked up at a pale blue sphere darting through the sky above them. “Here’s the ship. The soldiers call them blinkers because they move so fast. Not as fast as shapers can blink, but pretty fast.”

  The gleaming craft landed next to them with a low humming sound, the same sound as the floater they rode from the station. “Are they powered by Cross Dimensional Energy Transfer Spheres?”

  “They are. That and anti-micrograv units with force displacers. They’re working on inertia deadeners but that’s another twenty years away at least. Until that day comes you’ll need to wear your harness.”

  Edmund wished Oliver was here to see this. He could almost hear him saying, “Great heavens, look at that! How astonishing!” A section of the sphere hissed down and Edmund the Explorer strode up the ramp into the ship. “Let’s go A2! Time to blink!”

  The pilot showed Edmund how to strap himself in with the harness. “I know you’re indestructible, but we don’t want a six hundred pound Rabbiton bouncing around the cabin if we have to pull any tricky maneuvers. The rest of us aren’t so indestructible. Maybe one day. I hear they’re working on new synthetic bodies that do all kinds of crazy things. Sounds creepy to me. I like the body I have just fine. So does my little doe.” He was about to wink at Edmund, then thought the better of it. He mumbled to himself, “Them Rabbitons don’t know what they’re missing.”

  The navrabbit flipped open a holomap in front of Edmund the Explorer. “Where to, bossrab?”

  Edmund the Explorer scrolled through the map, stopping at a large mountain range with a valley cutting through it. He tapped his paw on a small area of the valley. “This’ll do. We’ll have to do a little climbing to get where we’re going, but that’s why
they invented minifloaters.”

  “Okay rabs, strap and roll.” The navrabbit tapped the map then flipped down a small green lever.

  The door closed with a hiss, and seconds later the blinker shot up into the sky, stopped, then streaked south towards Bruno Rabbit’s home in what one day would be known as Pterosaur Valley. As the sphere shot through the sky it darted this way and that, making Edmund feel like a leaf in a wind storm. He decided he would much rather be flying with Oliver in the Adventurer II.

  Fourteen minutes later the ship abruptly slowed down, landing with a slight bump. “Here’s where you get off. Shoot us a cloud when you need to be lifted.”

  “Thanks for the ride. Not sure how long we’ll be. All depends.”

  The door hissed open and the two Edmunds stepped out into Pterosaur Valley. Moments later the blinker shot up into the sky and darted north, vanishing in a matter of seconds.

  Edmund looked across the valley. He knew exactly where Bruno’s house was but he couldn’t tell Edmund the Explorer without having to explain how he knew its location.

  “Why don’t you break out the minifloater and I’ll have a look.”

  Edmund pulled a long silver tube out of his pack and set it on the ground. He tapped the starter code into the grid and stepped back. With a soft gurgling noise the tube spread out, forming a three foot wide disc. Two black handles rose up from either side. Edmund the Explorer stepped onto the disc and took out a pair of dark glasses, tapped the side of them, then grabbed a handle with each paw. “Back in a few minutes, my friend. When I get back here I don’t want to find you drinking wine with a couple of young lovelies.”

  “Ha ha ha ha!”

  Edmund the Explorer grinned and twisted one of the grips. The floater shot several hundred feet up into the air then stopped. He adjusted his glasses, looking up and down the valley. Moments later he shot off towards the section of the valley where Bartholomew and Oliver had first spotted the pterosaurs.

  “Amazing. He found the cave in seconds with those glasses. I wish I could take a pair back for Bartholomew and Oliver.” He watched as Edmund the Explorer soared across the valley towards the cave entrance. He saw him slow down, drifting across the face of the mountain. A moment later he shot back across the valley and landed next to Edmund. “Hop aboard, A2. Time for your first trip on a minifloater.”

  Edmund cautiously stepped onto the silver disk.

  “Put your hands on my shoulders and hold on tight.” The floater shot up into the air and streaked off towards Bruno’s house.

  “Not quite so tight, Edmund. I’d like to be able to use these shoulders again sometime in the near future.”

  “My apologies, I was afraid I might fall off the floater. Although I am indestructible I am still wary of heights.” He didn’t mention it was because he had recently fallen five and one half miles from the Adventurer II, hitting the ground at one hundred and twenty miles per hour. The fall itself had been delightful, but the landing had been quite startling.

  “Not to worry, here we are.” Edmund the Explorer brought the minifloater down in front of the cave entrance. He stepped off and pointed to the tunnel. “I got a life force reading in there. Must be where Bruno lives. Not sure why he lives in a cave, but he’s the rab who has what I need.”

  “I should like to mention there is a possibility it’s not Bruno Rabbit in the cave. It could be... something else, possibly another life form. Maybe something very large with... oh, I don’t know... enormous wings and claws.”

  Edmund the Explorer looked at Edmund with mock bewilderment.

  “You know, A2, I’m starting to wonder if the rab who programmed you was drinking on the job. An enormous creature with wings and claws?”

  “I... was merely suggesting the possibility that the life reading could be something other than Bruno Rabbit, and perhaps we should prepare for such a contingency.”

  “Well, it does makes sense when you put it like that. Hand me the vape rifle.”

  Edmund pulled the long glass tube out of his pack and passed it over to Edmund the Explorer.

  “Follow me.”

  The two Edmunds moved forward into the darkened tunnel. Edmund the Explorer tapped the side of his glasses and a bright beam shot out, illuminating the cave. He placed his paw next to the vape rifle’s green firing tab.

  As they reached the bend in the cave, Edmund stepped out in front of Edmund the Explorer. “I will go first since I am completely indestructible.”

  “As you wish, jellyfish.”

  “This is a joke, calling me a jellyfish? Should I make the laughing noise?”

  “No, that was me being silly. You don’t laugh at silly, you roll your eyes and give a big sigh, just like Emma does.”

  “The behavior of rabbits is quite confusing.”

  “It is indeed, my friend. If you think they’re confusing now, you should try marrying one.”

  Edmund thought for a moment, then rolled his eyes and gave a big sigh. He stepped around the bend and was greeted by a notable absence of pterosaurs. They moved deeper into the tunnel. Several minutes later they reached the end of the tunnel. A rabbit wearing a dark green cloak and hood was leaning up against the granite wall, arms folded. He stared at Edmund with a slightly perturbed expression.

  “You’re late. Follow me.” He touched his paw to the wall and a long section of the granite began to ripple. Edmund the Explorer hesitated.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s called shaping.”

  “I’ve seen shaping before and it doesn’t look like that.”

  “You haven’t seen my shaping before. Follow me if you want the key.”

  Bruno Rabbit disappeared into the rippling granite wall. Edmund the Explorer glanced over at Edmund. “Now I know why he lives alone in a cave.” He grinned, then shrugged and stepped into the wall. Edmund was three steps behind him.

  Chapter 20

  The Key

  Bruno Rabbit’s house of mystery was a good deal less mysterious than when Edmund had explored it with Bartholomew, Clara, and Oliver. There were no mysterious pterosaurs guarding it, and instead of an exquisitely decorated secret retreat with a panoramic view of Pterosaur Valley, there was only a cavernous room with a small grouping of furniture at one end. Next to the furniture was a mound of crates and boxes. Bruno hadn’t created the side rooms yet, and certainly not the marvelous kitchen that kept food fresh by bending time.

  The two Edmunds followed Bruno as he strode down the length of the cavern, his footsteps echoing throughout the vast granite room. Bruno took a seat in an ornately carved wooden chair and motioned for them to sit on a nearby couch.

  “So you want the Seventh Key. Why?”

  “We need to get into Nirriim without the Anarkkians knowing about it. We’re after an artifact that cannot fall into their hands.”

  Bruno perked up at the word ‘artifact’. “What kind of artifact?”

  Edmund the Explorer hesitated.

  “No key unless you tell me.”

  “It’s a time throttle – Mintarian technology. If the Anarkkians get it they could shut our whole world down. It would be the end of Earth.”

  Edmund interrupted. “What’s a time throttle?”

  Bruno answered without looking at him. “It’s one civilization’s answer to an age old ethical dilemma, how do you get rid of your enemies without killing them? The answer is a time throttle. It’s a three inch cube that doesn’t look like much when you first see it, but it opens a doorway to the ninth dimension, which as you can well imagine is rather a poor idea. Time slows to a crawl within a fifty thousand mile radius of the cube. The depth of the time field depends on the size of the cube. The Mintarians made a few monolithic throttles to shut down entire galaxies. It’s hard to fight a war when it takes you three thousand years to tie your shoe. The victims don’t know it’s taking that long, they don’t notice any change at all, but their connection to rest of the universe has been permanently severed. They’re no longer a thr
eat to anyone outside the throttle’s time field.”

  “So what’s your answer? Do we get the key?”

  Bruno appeared lost in thought, then slowly turned towards Edmund. His eyes narrowed imperceptibly. “Who are you?”

  Edmund the Explorer answered for him. “It’s just my A2 Carrier Rabbiton. The worst thing he does is make a few bad jokes.”

  Bruno's eyes didn’t leave Edmund. He rose up and walked over to him. “Have I ever met you before, or any of your friends?”

  “I can honestly say I’d never even heard of you before this moment in time.” Edmund tried to smile pleasantly.

  “That’s an odd way to phrase it. Why am I seeing a prehistoric pterosaur in my thoughts?”

  “I’m not quite certain why that would be.”

  Edmund the Explorer interrupted Bruno's confrontation with Edmund. “I need a decision. We don’t have much time. We know the Anarkkians have sent one of their best explorers after the throttle.”

  Bruno turned away from Edmund. “You’ll get the key. I just have a very strange feeling about your Rabbiton, and when it comes to strange feelings I am never wrong.” He looked pointedly at Edmund. Walking over to a long wooden crate he flicked his wrist. The wood vanished, leaving a solid black rectangle 3 feet long, one foot wide, and one foot tall. On the top were twelve gold keys. Bruno reached down and picked up the seventh one. “This will open the door to Nirriim. There’s only one key for each door. Lose the key and the door is closed forever. The key is incomprehensibly complex. It operates in multiple dimensions and across time. You can’t run down to your local blacksmith and have another one made.”

  “We haven’t had blacksmiths in three thousand years.”

  “When it comes to this key you might as well still have them. Don’t lose the key. Am I making this clear enough?”

  “Crystal clear. We’re in, we get the cube, we’re out, and you get your key back.”

  Bruno gave Edmund the Explorer the gold key.

  “Edmund, put this somewhere safe. You’re indestructible, you should be the one carrying it.”