“I don’t know. It was like the place had never goddamned existed. The structures were literally gone, like a fire had burned through. It was flattened.”
“Maybe they got out?”
“The bodies were badly buried. I guess whoever did it knew that the dark would hide them until the decomposed. If Mia did get out, I’d have no way of knowing...except I know she didn’t.”
She nodded like she understood. Her eyes watered. “I’m so sorry, Bishop. That’s horrible.”
It had been. It had also taught him that falling in love wasn’t something he was going to do again. Until he walked into that garage and saw the beautiful girl lying next to him. And it was all over. “I’d like to think she led me to you, somehow.”
“I’d like to think that too,” she said, retracing the letters again with a purpose.
“I know I left you behind in Defiance—but I left you with the man I trust my life and soul with. Do you understand that? If Mathias wasn’t there, I don’t care how much I respected Defiance—I’d never leave you alone.”
“I understand,” she said softly.
“I couldn’t say goodbye, not really. Because it wasn’t a goodbye. You say goodbye and sometimes there’s no coming back from that. So it wasn’t goodbye.”
She nodded, touched his cheek. She was finally beginning to understand why her fight unraveled him.
He continued, “You’re here, with me. And I’m asking you—telling you that I don’t want you going goddamned rogue on me. Because I left Mia, and she was gone.”
“And if you’d been there, you would’ve been too,” she reminded him.
“Maybe. Maybe Mathias and I could’ve stopped it, saved people.”
“So you want me close because you’re in love with me?” she asked.
“That wasn’t clear?”
“Yes, it is, Bishop. Even if you’ve never said it. But sometimes, a girl needs to hear the words.” She paused. “And I guess, sometimes the guy needs to hear them too. I love you, Bishop.”
“Jesus, Luna, I love you.”
She smiled, looked down at the scrollwork again. Her eyes narrowed a little and she honed in, moving closer to look at the tiny moon and stars that was tattooed all throughout the design. “Is that...?”
“For you? Yeah.”
“How long has it been there?”
“From the first week I was in Defiance.”
She blew out a shaky breath. “I never saw it. All this time, I was missing it.”
“But you’re not now. That’s what matters.”
* * *
“How was tea with her highness?” Bishop asked her as they started dinner a few hours later. It was Indian food—curry and samosas and it’d been so long since Luna had this. It was one of her favorite meals.
She held up a hand, hoping he understood her I can’t talk about this until I’m done shoveling food into my face gesture.
His grin seemed to indicate he did. She’d scented the meal even before Rocio knocked on the door. Bishop had noticed how obviously focused on the meal she’d been, and he’d let her eat before broaching the subject of her time with Kammy.
He’d waited until she’d fixed her plate and now, instead of broaching the subject again, he heaped another helping on her plate without her having to ask.
She ate until she literally couldn’t take one more bite, even though she still wished she could eat more. Only then did he say, “This is available every night.”
She felt her eyes widen. “I’d eat it for every meal. Breakfast, even.”
“Noted.”
She sat back, sated. “The fight wasn’t my fault. I had to prove myself, just the way you did.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Now you’re on Kammy’s radar too,” he muttered.
“Kammy’s nice. Smart. And they really want you to consider staying on permanently if the hard sell I’m getting is any indication.”
He took a long drink from his soda—grape soda in an old-fashioned glass bottle—before saying, “They want you here just as much.”
“Because you’ll stay where I am?”
“Because they want strong women who know their mind,” he corrected. “They like what you do with their cars. That you’re not interested in being kept. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s what a lot of women around here are vying for. As time goes on without the sun getting any stronger, people are getting more desperate.”
The sun had been coming out for longer periods of time without the aid of the government’s satellite, breaking through the volcanic debris left behind by the Chaos all on its own. Everyone kept waiting for the sun to get even stronger, to break through on its own more often, but that didn’t happen. Instead of getting stronger, the sun seemed to be leveling off. And she didn’t know if that tied into what Jessa learned...if the government was purposely keeping the sun from them—and how they did that, she had no idea—until they got rid of the people they wanted gone. Which was such a horrifying thought, she hadn’t been able to even think about it herself, and she’d never bring it up to Kammy.
Now, Kammy’s words from earlier came back to her. As a couple, you two could go far here.
How far, she’d wondered, but hadn’t asked. Because she was getting sucked into Keller’s, no matter how much she’d told herself she was going to resist. This was a scarily seductive place and if she was going to be held prisoner, there were definitely worse spots. “Do you think I could go back to work on the car tonight for a while?”
His mouth quirked up a little. “Yeah. But I’m waiting there with you.”
She nodded, then said, “Kammy told me about the executions.”
“I figured she wouldn’t give you the hard sell without laying that on the line for you. She’s assuming, since you’re part of the MC, that you’d approve.”
She wondered if Kammy had been telling the truth about everyone on the compound being aware of the executions. Were they done in secret? Maybe people simply disappeared and everyone assumed they’d been kicked out of the compound. She was sure that happened as well. “Thing is...I’m not so sure I do.”
He leaned forward and said, “Me neither.”
She let that settle in, then asked, “The LoV were always in bed with Keller. Why are they acting out so badly?”
“No idea. But he’s keeping them out of happyland now,” he said. “He’ll bring them out the way you would a rabid dog, when he needs extra protection. Likes to bring them to other MCs and mafias. And they help his guys make the deliveries.”
“Kammy didn’t say anything about the trafficking.” She leaned forward on her elbows, tucking her legs under her. “Do you think if we pretended to go along with becoming Keller’s next power couple, we’d be let in?”
“Probably not. Maybe she doesn’t even know.”
She considered that. Bishop was probably right. “We know too much.”
“And that makes us dangerous. Good people to have on his side.”
“Bad people to have as enemies,” she added.
Bishop conceded that point. He’d known this all along, and he’d also realized that she needed to figure it all out for herself—that she wouldn’t be satisfied to just hear it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Late the next morning, Luna and Bishop took a leisurely walk over to the garage. Her lessons learned from the day before were still all mixed up in her head, and working on the car would help her clear her mind, if not sort it out.
She was also content with the fact that she was with Bishop, and that he was glad to have her here.
He didn’t complain when she lost track of time—he went back and forth, leaving her alone at points, bringing her food at others. She realized it was after midnight when she looked up from the transmission, found Bishop r
elaxing on the floor, reading another book.
He glanced over at her. “You were having fun.”
She didn’t deny it. “I’m ready to have a different kind of fun now,” she said instead and he was up in seconds.
“Works for me.” As he spoke the last word, it was almost obliterated by the start of a short series of loud beeps over the intercoms. Bishop went to the window, looked outside and she called, “What are those?”
She had to cover her ears against the shrillness of the next set of alarms. Bishop did the same. When there was a short break he told her, “Tear gas drill. Come on.”
The alarms started up again. Those first few must’ve only been warnings, because the next ones were worse—louder and sharper and they didn’t pause at all. They were painful and disorientating, and she’d only had to deal with it for a few moments outside as Bishop dragged her along behind him, using his body to cut through the crowds of screaming people. It was a nightmare. Finally, he picked her up and pretty much threw her over his shoulder until he got her down the stairs to a tunnel that wasn’t anywhere near his place—no, they’d only gone maybe twenty feet or so, but with the crowds it seemed like a longer distance.
He’d veered off from those crowds in order to access the tunnel. She heard people shouting behind her as she made her way down. He followed quickly, slammed the trap door shut above him and locked it. Looked down at her, asking, “Are you okay?”
“No,” she said, but she could barely hear her own voice. Her ears rung and she was seeing spots from the flashing lights.
He remained where he was, close to the trap door. After a few minutes, she felt better, enough to hear pounding on the ground above them. People were knocking, and every once in a while, Bishop would look into a peephole and then look away.
He’d locked them into a secret container that would keep them safe from the world. But...”Why don’t you let others down here?”
“Not supposed to,” he said. “Only certain people get access to these containers. There are codes.”
After a few minutes, the knocking went away, and she heard more screaming. “So some of those people will die because they don’t have a secret code and access to these tunnels?”
“People will get hurt, but the majority will be fine.” He didn’t seem shocked or dismayed, just grimly resigned. “That’s part of why you don’t see young kids on the compound. Keller doesn’t want them here. Anyone who comes in here does it at their own risk. You’ve seen it yourself. There’s a hell of a lot of pleasure to be found, but just as much pain as Keller defends his right to do what he wants.”
“I just can’t believe you’re okay with this.”
“What do you want, Luna? Want me to go up there and try to save everyone? It’s not going to happen. I learned that early on, but especially in the military. You’re my only priority now and I’m not fucking that up. Everything I’m doing here is to stay on an even keel with Keller for Defiance. For Mathias. But first and foremost, for you. So stop trying to act like you’re Mother Teresa on a mission and deal with the fact that this is a whole different world. You’re not going to change it. All you can do is survive it.”
His anger was palpable in the small space, and as pissed as she was about what Keller was doing, how he was playing all the people in his compound, Bishop was right. Spending time here was akin to being in a giant maze—all she had to do was keep moving forward until she found the exit.
“So wait—Keller does this? To his own people?”
“It’s a way to keep them managed. On their toes. Never able to really know what’s happening or what’s safe. It gives them the whole ‘party today because we might be dead tomorrow’ mentality.”
She heard the frightened yelling. Bishop pulled the trap door tight, then pulled another long deadbolt all the way across, sliding the heavy metal through the circles. Only then did he push a button that was now exposed.
The yelling she’d heard seconds before was gone, replaced by her stunned silence.
This shattered her, and she wasn’t sure why, exactly. Bishop had warned her that this was very much a lose-your-illusion type of thing. But she’d been seduced by how easy things were here, and how easy it was with Bishop.
She stared at him. “You’re not an illusion, are you?”
“Never was, babe. That’s why you’re here.”
That was true. As much as she hated him for forcing her to admit hard secrets, she needed him to do so.
He was so right for her, a gift in the middle of all this madness and darkness. “How often does this happen?”
“Third time since I’ve been here.”
“What was that button you pressed? A soundproofing thing?”
“Partly. It’s also to let Keller’s men know who’s safe.”
“Damn it.” She’d let herself be lulled into the excess and the seeming never-ending fun around this place. She’d acted as if nothing bad could touch her here, but in reality, the bad was everywhere.
“Luna, as bad as Keller is, there are guys out there who are worse. And those same guys want his position.”
“So that makes it all right?”
“You can’t think that no one challenges him. He’s like Defiance, constantly trying to hold his position.”
“You sound like you’re vying to be just like him.”
“Nothing wrong with power, Luna,” he told her. “Never was. The problem is when we’re seduced by it. Now your eyes are wide open. We’re on the same page.”
“And what are we going to do about it?”
“We’re going to survive. And get the hell back to Defiance.” With that, he took her hand in his and squeezed it tight.
After threading their way back through an intricate series of dark tunnels, passing other people speaking in hushed tones, they finally made their way back to Bishop’s tube. Once inside, he locked the door and pressed a series of codes into the alarm, again, presumably to let Keller’s PTB know they were safe.
“Luna, most of the people will be okay. It’s tear gas. The biggest problem is that everyone here’s out for themselves. It’s not like Defiance, where everyone helps everyone else,” he explained. “The first time this happened to me, they didn’t want me to go underground. It was a test. Those first alarms you heard? They hadn’t released any gas yet. You saw people scrambling for cover. Every man for himself.”
“What did you do when you were locked out?”
“I climbed a tree to wait it out,” he said.
“Climbed a tree?”
“Tear gas drops, not rises,” he explained.
She didn’t want to know anymore about what would happen up above. Not now. Not when she was helpless.
“It also prepares us in case of attack,” he said quietly, as if he hated bringing this up to her.
“I guess you’re intent on shattering any illusions I’d started to have about this place,” she said.
“I guess I am.”
“Who would be attacking the compound?”
“Sometimes, it’s other mafia families. Several of the bigger ones—the Italian and Irish families moved out here to middle country because they’re under less scrutiny. It’s also easier for planes to land around here.”
“How do you know all of this?”
“I listen. I learn.”
“Keller’s taking you under his wing.”
“He thinks he is.”
She sagged against the wall. “So I need to play the game too.”
“If you can. If you can’t, I’d just stay the hell away from him.”
She rolled her eyes. “Give me some credit.” But she wasn’t all that confident she could talk to Keller as easily as she’d done in the last few days, knowing what she knew now.
She’d been on the verge o
f being seduced, and while she didn’t mind it when Bishop was doing it, she felt stupid.
As if reading her mind, Bishop told her, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Not everybody learns.”
“Where else can they go?”
“The town. It’s a regular old place, not all the fun but a sense of community, and Keller supplies it. They have a couple of underground spots too.”
“What’s going to happen when the sun comes up for good? Because it’s starting to come up more than the satellite’s timing.”
“Nothing’ll be rebuilt in a day. Slow process. By then...” He shrugged. “Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
“Who would we have been if the Chaos hadn’t come through, Bishop?” she asked. “I try not to think about that...but I can’t help it here.”
“For a long time, I didn’t think I’d get that opportunity...fought for everything I had,” Bishop said.
It hit her then, how hard they needed to struggle to define what happiness was, maybe even what it should be in this world. Keller’s seemed to be the path of least resistance, but that wasn’t always the right choice. Here, there was no real moral compass, and it would’ve been easy to sink into that, maybe even revel in it.
But she’d never have been able to do that long term. She had a strong feeling Bishop wouldn’t be able to either, no matter how violent some of his impulses ultimately were.
* * *
Keller came to his door while Luna slept—no doubt knowing Bishop wouldn’t leave her alone after today.
“Everything okay?” Bishop asked, closing the door behind him. Declan was there too, along with several guards.
“It is now,” Keller told him. “After what happened today with Luna, that was the final straw. We’ve used tonight’s drill to get rid of the last of the LoV and their sympathizers. They’re still working with our compound, but they’re not welcome inside here.”
“A dangerous move,” Bishop told him.
“You sound like you approve.”
“Does it matter?” Bishop asked.
“The LoV understood.”
There was no goddamned way Ocho’s brothers—the men in charge of the LoV, understood this shit. But the truth was that the LoV had started taking more chances than they should. It made Bishop suspicious. Keller thought he was the only game in town but for the LoV to bite the hand that fed them?
Salvation Page 14
