by Blair Grey
“Good,” I whispered. I looked down at my hand, where it rested against his chest. “Look, I know that you’re involved in things that I don’t want to know about. That knife cut was testimony to that if nothing else.” I paused. “I don’t want to know about that stuff. But I want this. I want to see you. And I’d like you to stay. If that’s okay. At least until you give me a good reason not to be involved with you.”
“Hopefully that’ll never happen,” Marcus rumbled.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, hopefully,” I agreed. But the truth was, I didn’t hold out much hope. I didn’t know exactly what kinds of things he was involved in, but I had seen enough of life in Las Cruces to know that if things went south, with whatever it was, he wasn’t going to have the luxury of deciding what parts of his life it affected.
But I still couldn’t help wanting to be part of his life. At least for now.
Marcus leaned in and kissed me again, softly and chaste. Then, he wrapped his arms around me, and I pillowed my head against his chest. I knew there was more we needed to talk about, but I could feel myself falling asleep even as I lay there. I filed those thoughts away for a later date.
23
Marcus
Sunday
On Sunday morning, I woke up with Leila still in my arms. Her soft, curvy body was warm against mine, and she had the faintest trace of a smile on her face. I couldn’t help but smile as well, seeing how peaceful she looked.
The previous night had been good on so many levels. I was starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, Leila wasn’t just some random girl I got to sleep with. No, she was much more complicated than that. She interested me. She made me feel like I had to be on the ball, like I had to keep up with her. I liked that bit of mental challenge to go along with the rest of it.
The sex was great, too.
I couldn’t help thinking back to the way she had looked, spread out on the sheets and toying with herself. It was like she couldn’t keep her hands off herself, like if she didn’t get that stimulation, right then, then she would explode. God, that was hot.
I’d meant to take my time with her, to tease her a little. I could tell just how badly she needed it, and I wanted to leave her hanging at first, to keep her wanting more. But I hadn’t been able to hold back, and especially not when she had grabbed me and all but pushed me inside of her. For all her nervousness about certain things, she sure knew how to get a man going.
Afterward, I hadn’t been sure if I should stay. I remembered the way she had darted out of my place the previous week, and I’d wondered if that was what she expected. I tried to tell myself that this wasn’t just about sex. After all, why else would she want me to come to that fundraiser thing? Unless she really didn’t have anyone else to ask.
No, the more I thought about it, the more obvious it was that she was only interested in sleeping with me. And that was fine. At least the sex was great. But something about that realization had still left me feeling hollow. I’d pulled away from her, started to leave.
And she’d looked like she was going to cry. I felt stupid at how hopeful I felt when she made it clear that she wanted me to stay. I’d tried not to examine that too closely.
I couldn’t have feelings for her, not yet. It was too soon. I just had a thing for her. That was all. It was still mostly fueled by sex. We’ll say, ninety percent lust and ten percent enjoying her company.
In my heart, though, I knew I was lying to myself. I really was starting to like her.
I slipped out of bed, leaving her sleeping peacefully, curled around one of her pillows. God, she was cute. Even with her hair in disarray, her body tangled up in the sheets. I wanted to go back and kiss her, but I didn’t want to wake her up, not yet.
No, I was starting to like her, and I knew what that meant. It meant it was time to figure out what she had in her kitchen that I could make for breakfast.
I hummed under my breath as I surveyed my options. I didn’t know why I was doing this, really; I should be out of there. I didn’t even know if she really did want me there. It could have just been the after-sex glow the previous night that had pushed her to ask me to stay. She might have expected me to be gone before she woke up.
But somehow, I didn’t think so.
I found some eggs and some vegetables and started making some omelets. I almost had everything ready when Leila wandered into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Hey,” she murmured, putting her arms around my waist from behind, ignoring the fact that I was trying not to burn anything.
I laughed and turned around, greeting her with a kiss. “Good morning,” I said.
Leila looked up at me, and I could see uncertainty in her eyes, like she didn’t fully believe I was there. “I thought you might have left,” she said.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Did you want me to leave?”
“No!” Leila said quickly, her arms tightening around me. “I just didn’t expect you to want to stay.”
I frowned down at her. “I thought I’d done a pretty good job of establishing that I’m not exactly like what your first impression of me led you to believe,” I chided.
Leila grinned. “That’s true.”
I slowly unlinked her arms from around my waist and nudged her toward the table. “Have some coffee and have a seat,” I suggested. “I’m almost finished with breakfast.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy make me breakfast before,” Leila mused as she sat at the table. “Not that I have guys stay over very often. Or ever.” She laughed, sounding embarrassed.
I smiled over my shoulder at her. “I’m honored to be the lucky person that you let stay,” I said, only half-joking.
She giggled, though. “Don’t go getting arrogant,” she warned.
I slid a plate in front of her and then sat down across from her with a plate of my own, just watching as she took her first bite. I could tell she liked it, even before she commented. “God, this is actually good,” she said. Then, she blushed, seeming to realize the way she had said that. “Not that I expected it wouldn’t be.”
I laughed and shook my head, picking up my own fork. “Don’t worry, I know,” I told her. “The hulking biker dude in movies never knows how to cook.”
“It’s just unexpected, I guess,” Leila said. “There’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”
I could see her watching me, assessing me maybe. I tried to ignore it.
The truth was, I knew that if we were going to continue down this path, if we were going to get serious about things between us, she was going to have to know about Red Eyes. Eventually. Obviously, that wasn’t the kind of thing that I went blabbing about. You had to really trust a person to let them know that you were involved in some quasilegal endeavors.
The trouble was, I had a feeling that would ruin things between us. I didn’t know what she knew, or what she thought she knew anyway, but I remembered what she had said the previous night, that she wanted to do this as long as she didn’t get tangled up in whatever I was involved in. And I certainly didn’t want her getting tangled up in MC business, either. But I was realistic about it; I knew that at some point, despite my best intentions, something might happen.
If not to her, then at least to me. I didn’t think she would tolerate me showing up with another knife cut, either.
“What are you thinking about?” Leila asked, cocking her head to the side.
I shook my head, pasting on a smile. “Nothing,” I told her. I paused. “Just thinking about this place that I want to take you to tonight. If you’re free.”
“I’m not actually,” Leila said, and I might have thought that she was still trying to keep her distance, still playing hard to get. Except that I could hear how regretful she was that she was busy. I could see it in her expression. That mollified me somewhat.
“Another date?” I asked.
Leila laughed. “Hardly,” she said. “I just have to work tonight. I take a lot of the evening shifts. No one els
e really wants them.” She paused. “Anyway, that’s when the most interesting things happen.”
“Like meeting me?” I asked teasingly. “You’d better not be using your evening shifts to meet someone else!”
Leila giggled. “That’s not likely to happen,” she said. “Or at least, in all the years of me being a nurse, I have never done anything as unprofessional as this before.”
“I’m unprofessional now, am I?” I asked.
“You were my patient, and now you’re…” Leila trailed off, looking embarrassed.
I didn’t know what to call this either. I didn’t know how to label us. Were we dating? Was she my girlfriend? I sort of liked the sound of that, despite all the complications it would bring. But I wasn’t sure we were ready for that talk just yet.
“So other than work, what are you up to today?” I asked, changing the subject.
Leila shrugged. “Not much,” she said. “I have some errands I need to run. Things I probably won’t have time for later in the week, given the way my schedule is this week.” She made a face. “Or I guess, I’ll probably have time for a lot of it, but I won’t necessarily want to do any of it.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I get that,” I said, nodding.
“What about you, what are you up to?” Leila asked.
I grinned at her. “Well, I was thinking that once we finished breakfast, I’d take you back to the bedroom and have my way with you again. Tease you a little since I didn’t do enough of that last night.” I watched the way she shivered at the thought of that, her fingers clenching around the edge of the table. “And then I thought I’d go home and try to get some work done,” I finished.
“Sounds like a pretty good start to the day,” Leila said slowly.
“Indeed,” I agreed, smirking at her as she looked down at her plate like she was surprised at how much food was still there.
Like she wanted me to drag her off to bed again right now. But she was going to have to wait.
I took a bite of my eggs to hide my amused grin.
We chatted as we finished up breakfast, and then I dragged her off to her bedroom, just like I had promised her, taking my time to work her over. Eventually, I disentangled myself from her, pressing a soft kiss to her temple as she protested my movement. “Can’t just stay in bed all day,” I chided. “You said you had errands to do.”
“I know,” Leila moaned, running a hand over her face. She grinned at me. “I just feel like I can’t string together two thoughts at the moment.”
“Good.” My phone chirped, and I glanced down at it. Shit, I had more than one missed call from Ray. I hoped nothing had happened. “I have to go,” I told Leila.
“I know,” she sighed. She paused. “You know, if you still wanted to take me out again, I’m not working tomorrow night,” she said slowly.
I grinned at her and then came back to the bed, catching her arm and tugging her up into one final kiss. “Tomorrow night,” I agreed as she nuzzled me.
When I got back to my house, Ray was there waiting for me. “Where the hell have you been?” Ray asked, raising an eyebrow at me. He didn’t seem upset, though. More curious than anything else.
I shrugged and ducked my head, feeling almost like a young schoolboy in the face of Ray’s questioning. “Spent the night with a friend,” I told him gruffly. “A woman.” My girlfriend? Yet again, I didn’t know if it was maybe too soon to be calling her that. But I kind of liked the sound of it.
Ray was staring at me. “Be very careful with her, whoever she is,” he said slowly.
I rolled my eyes. “What do you care?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m dating Belle. It’s none of your business if I break her heart.” Not that I had any intention of breaking Leila’s heart. In fact, I hated the very thought of that. But still. I didn’t need Ray telling me to be careful with her.
Ray frowned. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. He paused. “You know as well as I do that this is a tricky time for Red Eyes. We don’t exactly know what the Unknowns could be up to.”
“So, what, I should refrain from getting myself killed?” I asked, not understanding where he was going with this.
“I was thinking more that you should watch out for this woman and make sure that the Unknowns can’t use her against you,” Ray said gravely.
I stared at him for a long moment. I remembered what I had been thinking before, about how I had to tell Leila what I was involved in if this relationship of ours was going to go anywhere. But that had been because of some nebulous worry about the future. Not because I really thought someone might go after her, and certainly not right now.
I tried to think about everything I knew about the Unknowns. Would they really go after her?
They just might. I had to accept that.
Ray shook his head and clapped me on the shoulder. “Just be careful,” he repeated.
“Yeah,” I echoed faintly. I was already tempted to rush back over to Leila’s house, to make sure she was okay. What if someone had seen us out together the previous night? What if they were already there waiting for her?
But no, that was stupid. They wouldn’t move that quickly. For all they knew, I was just sleeping with her. For all they knew, I didn’t care about her at all.
The trouble was that I did care about her, though, but there wasn’t much I could do to protect her right now. I couldn’t keep my eye on her at all hours of the day. And night, because she worked nights as well. I couldn’t watch her constantly, just making sure she was okay. I had to trust that she could take care of herself.
But she didn’t even know what she had to protect herself from. She didn’t even know what I had dragged her into the middle of.
I swallowed hard, feeling like an asshole. I knew that she hadn’t wanted to go out with me from the start, that she had been concerned about the sorts of things I was involved in. Which was only fair, after I had shown up at the hospital needing stitches from a knife cut along my forearm. She hadn’t wanted to get involved, and I had forced her to.
If something happened to her, it would kill me. I needed to figure out some way to make sure she was safe.
The only way I could think to do that, though, was to make sure the Unknowns were no longer a problem.
24
Leila
Sunday
I spent Sunday feeling goofily happy with the way the previous night, and that morning, had gone. I still wasn’t sure I had made the right call in asking Marcus to sleep over, but I felt like our relationship was really growing. And I wanted that.
Even though I knew there were complications to wanting it.
I was happy, though, that was the thing. I couldn’t seem to keep the pep out of my step after spending time with Marcus. He had made me breakfast. I just felt so comfortable with him, whether we were out on a date or there at my house. It felt right in a way that I just couldn’t explain. I kept trying to tell myself all the reasons why I shouldn’t be involved with him, but I was having a hard time staying away from him.
Now, as much as I loved work, it felt like I was just killing time until I got to see Marcus again. Which would be the next day. I couldn’t wait.
I had to focus on work, though. I couldn’t let myself start to slip just because I was starting to develop feelings for some guy.
Some guy. Marcus wasn’t just some guy. No, he was sweet, and he was good with kids, if a little awkward, and he gave me everything I needed in terms of companionship and… physical needs. I blushed, just thinking about it. The sex was probably some of the hottest sex I’d ever had in my life. I didn’t know what I would do if things ended with him. It would never be as good with anyone else, I was sure of it.
It was more than just that, though. I was actually starting to picture a future to our relationship. More dates, more breakfasts together in my kitchen. I steered clear of picturing a real life together. I didn’t imagine us with kids or anything like that. I didn’t know him well enough for that, and we were going to nee
d to have some serious talks first.
But the idea of it all wasn’t too terrible.
A woman came into the hospital carrying her child and looking worried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she immediately told me. “Can you help us?”
“Of course,” I said. “You’re going to need to fill out paperwork first, so if you just come over this way.”
“I know, I know,” the woman said, sounding frazzled. “But is there any way I can fill it out while you look him over? I’m really worried. He was throwing up pretty bad this morning; he couldn’t even keep water down.”
“You poor thing,” I said to the kid, putting a hand on his forehead to feel for a temperature. “What’s your name, buddy?”
“Jimmy,” the kid said, sniffling a little.
God, he reminded me so much of Gavin.
I felt my heart constrict, just thinking about that. What if this was Gavin and he was the one who couldn’t keep water down? I could understand the mom’s panic.
“Come on,” I said, leading her toward a room. “I don’t usually do this, but this time, I think I can make an exception.”
It wasn’t like the hospital was very busy at the moment anyway. I didn’t have any other patients to see; it wasn’t like they were cutting the line or anything like that.
And to be honest, there was no way I was going to be able to see someone else while I was worrying about this child. It made me wonder if I was ever going to be ready to have a child of my own. I tried not to get too invested when it came to patients at the hospital. I wanted them to get better, sure, but I knew that if I went around panicking on behalf of all of them, I would never get anything done. Plus, I would just make them panic as well.
