by Blair Grey
But when it came to little kids like this, I couldn’t seem to turn it off. I did my best never to let my worry show, but even if I didn’t know the kid, I couldn’t help thinking that this was someone’s son or this was someone’s daughter. That if anything happened to them, it would be devastating.
I absolutely understood this mom’s worry when it came to her son. I could only imagine how scared Jimmy must be too if he could even find it in himself to be worried. He might be feeling too miserable to be afraid, and I hated to think about that, either.
As Cynthia, Jimmy’s mom, went through all the paperwork, I ran through a series of general tests on Jimmy. If he really couldn’t keep down water, he would need to stay overnight at the hospital. Probably get hooked up to an IV and everything. Again, I could only imagine how frightening that would be for the five-year-old boy.
But fortunately, he was able to sip at some water and even eat a couple of plain crackers while Cynthia finished the forms.
“I don’t know what it was,” Cynthia fretted, watching her son. “Maybe I just overreacted in bringing him in here. Maybe it’s just some normal bug.”
“I think it probably was,” I told her. “Actually, I’m pretty sure it was food poisoning. That would have given him all the symptoms he had. And food poisoning tends to clear up pretty fast once there’s nothing left in the system. But you were right to bring him in here. It’s never a mistake to bring him in if you’re really worried about him. We’re more than happy to make sure he’s okay. And better safe than sorry, right?”
“Right,” Cynthia said, sounding relieved.
“Still feeling all right, Jimmy?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder.
He nodded. “Can I have some more crackers?” he asked. “I’m really hungry.”
I laughed. “I bet you are. Here you go. But eat them slowly, okay? I don’t want your tummy getting all upset again.”
“Me neither,” he said fervently, his eyes wide in his little face.
I smiled at him and turned back to his mom. “So where do we go from here?” she asked.
“Just keep him on a mild diet for a few days,” I told her. “Think of it like he’s recovering from any other sickness. Nothing too heavy or too sweet. Toast, crackers, bananas, things like that. Lots of fluids, as much as he can handle. And if he starts getting sick again, bring him back in. But I don’t think he’s going to; I think he’s through the worst of it now.”
“Oh good,” Cynthia said, clearly relieved. She paused. “I think it must have been the chicken sandwiches I made for lunch. I wasn’t sure about it; I couldn’t remember how long it had been in the fridge. I ate some, too, and my stomach was feeling a little off. Not nearly as bad as his, though.”
“Your immune system has built up a lot more than his,” I pointed out. “He’s still young.”
“Yeah.” Cynthia rubbed a hand over her face. “But I poisoned him. That’s what food poisoning is, right? Poison. My little baby.” She looked devastated, and I could imagine what she was thinking. How many mothers had come in here who were convinced they were the worst parent in the world because something had happened to their kid? It wasn’t always in their control, as much as they might like it to be.
“It could happen to anyone,” I soothed. “You’d be surprised at how many mothers come in here with their kids. You can’t keep them safe from everything.” I laughed. “To be honest, I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know if I could ever have kids with the amount of worry you must have all the time.”
Cynthia smiled and shook her head. “It is constantly a worry,” she agreed, looking at her little boy. “But he’s also the greatest joy in my life.” She paused. “There’s always going to be things to worry about, and it’s never going to be easy to be a mother, I don’t think. But having my child is something that I would never trade. Not for the world.”
I smiled at her. “Well, this is one thing you don’t have to worry about,” I said, noting the color in Jimmy’s cheeks. “It looks like he’s going to be A-okay. Why don’t I take those forms from you, and you can head home? I’m sure the little guy could use some sleep.”
Cynthia picked up her son, and Jimmy put his head down on her shoulder, already looking like he was falling asleep. “Thank you so much,” the woman said softly.
“Don’t mention it,” I said, watching the two of them leave.
I could feel a certain warmth in my chest, watching the two of them. I remembered what Cynthia had said: that being a mother was never going to be easy, but it was worth it. It was the same thing I’d been hearing from Rachel for years now.
And suddenly, I knew that I needed to go back to the clinic. To follow up on that consultation I’d had. I wanted to have that—that special bond between mother and child. Rachel might be against it, but I was sure she would come around.
I didn’t want to put this off any longer. I didn’t want to give myself more time to talk myself out of it. I loved my job, but some days, I felt like I had spent so much time taking care of other people that it was time I deserved something for myself. I wanted to have a child.
25
Marcus
Monday
In light of what Ray had said, I debated not going to see Leila on Monday as we’d agreed upon. But I didn’t want to quit seeing her. I would just have to be careful. Take care of her. Besides, my mind insisted, if the Unknowns were going to find out about her and go after her, they would have already done so. This thing between us had already been building for quite some time, and we’d been out in public together numerous times.
I had to assume she was going to be safe, even if things continued between us. Because the thought of not getting to see her ever again, for the sake of her safety, just killed me.
When she answered the door, she raised an eyebrow at me. “I thought you said you wanted to see me tonight,” she said, but she didn’t sound upset.
I shrugged. “I had been planning on taking you out on another dinner-date,” I told her. “But the weather’s so nice that I thought maybe you’d want to go for a motorcycle ride with me.”
Leila frowned at me, looking torn between wanting to go and being unsure about it.
“Come on,” I said. “You told me we could keep seeing one another as long as I behaved myself. And I know that motorcycles are more badass than what you normally ride, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad. I’ll drive carefully. You’ll be fine.”
Leila laughed. “Okay, okay,” she said, putting her hands up. “I should probably change into something else.” She frowned. “What am I supposed to wear anyway? I don’t think I have any leather or anything like that. It’s not my usual style.”
I grinned and held up a bag. “I think these’ll fit you,” I told her. “I borrowed them from a buddy’s wife.” Belle and Leila weren’t exactly the same size, but they were close enough that it shouldn’t matter. And even though it had been years since I’d had any sort of crash on my bike, and even though I had never had a major crash, better safe than sorry. I didn’t want to risk Leila getting hurt.
She headed into her room to change, shutting the door behind herself. I was grateful for that, actually; otherwise, we would never make it on the bike. I would be only too happy to keep her naked and in bed for the rest of the afternoon.
But I had plans for us.
When she came back out into the living room, I couldn’t help but stare.
“What?” Leila asked nervously, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and looking down at the tight pants and the jacket. “Is there something wrong?”
I strode quickly over to her and grabbed her, pulling her against me and kissing her for all I was worth. “You look incredible,” I said. She looked sexy and dangerous, like a proper biker chick. I almost had to rethink the planned outing. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to just haul her back into her room.
Leila laughed and shook her head. “Not going to lie, I feel kind of silly,” she said, plucking at th
e leather chaps. “This definitely isn’t anything I would normally wear.”
I shrugged. “It’s good to get outside your comfort zone sometimes, right?” I said philosophically. “Come on; I’ve got plans.”
I led her down to my bike, and she swung on behind me. I liked the feel of that, too, having her arms looped around my waist. She held on a little too tightly, but I didn’t complain. Instead, I started the engine, knowing she would relax as she got used to it.
Sure enough, by the time I reached the mountain pull-off, she had the biggest grin on her face. “Was that okay?” I asked teasingly.
“Okay, I can totally see why people love motorcycles now,” she said, taking off her helmet and shaking out her hair. “That was fun.”
“Good,” I said, grinning.
Leila headed toward the edge of the lot, looking out over the city. “What an amazing view,” she said. She looked back over her shoulder. “So this is just a pit stop and then we keep going?”
I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Something like it,” I told her, fishing in the panniers. “But I thought maybe you might want some lunch. I brought a picnic.”
“You’re the best,” Leila said, smiling at me. A moment after she said it, she looked embarrassed, and I wondered if that was one of those things she had meant to keep inside her head, not to say out loud. But I didn’t tease her about it. Instead, I grabbed the things I had packed and led her away from the parking lot, along a winding path.
The view was even better up here, and more secluded. Like it was just the two of us, alone in the world. I spread out the blanket over the reddish dirt, and we both sat down.
“So I have to admit something,” Leila said as I started taking out the lunch things. “That wasn’t my first time on a motorcycle.”
“Oh really?” I asked, even though I had suspected as much. Once we got going, especially once we were headed up the twisty mountain road, she’d started to lean into the curves with me. There was something too natural about her movements. I’d had a feeling she had done this before. But I waited for her to explain.
“Yeah, my dad used to have a motorcycle,” she explained, running a hand back through her hair. “He used to take me out on drives with him when I was a kid. But he was nowhere near as smooth a driver as you are.”
I laughed. “Thanks for the compliment,” I said. “I do get a fair amount of practice at it.”
Leila looked like she wanted to say something, but whatever it was, she shook her head and kept it to herself. I wondered about her father, but I didn’t want to spoil the day by asking about things she would rather not talk about.
But if she had grown up here in Las Cruces and her father had been a motorcycle guy, there was a pretty high probability that the man had known Ray, once upon a time. Even the guys around town who weren’t part of the MC but who had motorcycles all tended to know one another. Their bikes were serviced by the same shops, and they just seemed to cross paths. They had similar interests.
Her dad and Ray would be about the same age, I figured, enough so that they would have crossed paths, more than likely. I wondered how it was that she and I had never met before.
I gave a mental shrug and pushed those thoughts away. We had met now, at least. I smiled over at her and handed her a plate. “Dig in,” I said.
“So how did you find this place anyway?” Leila asked as we ate, gesturing out at the view. “It’s pretty incredible, but I don’t think I would ever have noticed the signs for the pull-off.”
I grinned at her. “I’m about to admit something really weird, but I’ve actually been to every single scenic overlook in the state,” I told her.
“Really?” She laughed and shook her head. “What, do they have maps for that?”
“They do,” I told her. “And when I was first getting into riding bikes, I always felt like I needed a destination.” I paused. “Now, it feels like I can just head out the door, get on the road, and go, and it’s like the road is enough of a destination for me. But it wasn’t always like that. I’d feel like I was wasting an afternoon by hopping on the bike and just going for a drive.”
It had been a weird time in my life, back when I’d been a teenager. I’d gotten my first bike just before I went off to college, and I’d had this feeling like there was more that I should be doing. It felt like I’d spent my whole life suspended between what I wanted to do with my life and getting involved in Red Eyes like everyone expected me to. Once I got that bike, it seemed like everyone thought I had chosen the MC.
Really, I’d just wanted the bike. I’d grown up around them, and there was something comforting about everything from the sound of it to the feel of that power thrumming between my legs.
I gave myself a little shake. “Anyway, I made it my goal to visit every single scenic overlook. I can tell you all the best ones. But this is one of the best ones that just also happens to be close to Las Cruces.” I grinned at her. “You know, if I’d known you were such a seasoned rider, we could have taken a bit of a longer ride.”
Leila laughed. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a seasoned rider,” she said demurely. “I haven’t even been on a bike in years now.”
“Well, you at least didn’t knock me over.”
“At least there’s that,” Leila agreed. “Have you ever left New Mexico?”
“Of course I have,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Tell you a little secret; I’ve even left the country. Not bad for a big, dumb goon like me, huh?” I said it as a joke, but I could tell Leila was embarrassed at having asked.
“Sorry, I know it’s a stupid thing to ask,” she said. “I just feel like there’s a lot of people from Las Cruces who have never left.”
“I’m just teasing,” I said. “But yeah, I like to travel. By bike, especially, but I’m a fan of planes, too.”
“Where’s the best place you’ve ever been?”
“Now there’s where I show my true colors, I guess,” I said, winking at her. “My favorite place is New Mexico. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here anymore.” I shrugged. “My whole life is here, you know? My friends, my sort-of family. This is home. I love going other places, but I always love coming back, too.”
“That makes sense,” Leila said.
“What about you?”
She shrugged. “To be honest, I haven’t been to too many places,” she admitted. “I was always so focused on school. And now that I’ve got my job, I’m so busy all the time. I could probably ask for some time off. But I would feel like I was letting people down.” She paused and then gave an embarrassed laugh. “I guess it’s hard to compete with a view like this, anyway.”
“Maybe we’ll have to make this a thing,” I told her. “I’ll show you all the best scenic overlooks in the state.”
Leila laughed. “I’d like that,” she said. She dusted off her hands and leaned back against them. Then, she turned her head to the side, eyeing me. “You know, I’ve never had sex outdoors before.”
She said it casually, almost as though it were just a comment. But from the look in her eyes, it was more of a challenge. Fuck, she wanted to do it right here.
I kept my eyes on her as I slowly and deliberately packed away the lunch things, setting them aside. Then, I reached for her across the blanket.
26
Leila
Monday
I felt like I should be ashamed of myself. For this, more than sleeping with Marcus on the first date. Sex outdoors, where anyone could come across us. This totally wasn’t something that I would normally do.
Not that I was complaining, as he lay me down on the blanket and covered my body with his. For a while, all we did was make out, and I wondered if there was something holding him back, if there was some reason that he wouldn’t take me while we were out there. Maybe he didn’t think I was serious. I wanted to start stripping him down, to show him just how serious I was, but just as I had that thought, he pulled away, kneeling and flipping me around so I was on all fours.
He co
vered me again, grinding against me as his hand found its way to the button on my pants. He tugged down my pants and my panties, exposing my bare ass and the fleshy mound between my legs. For a minute, though, he just kept grinding against me, and I turned my head back for another kiss. I shivered at the feeling of his jean-clad member pressing against my entrance, a low whine emanating from my throat.
Again, Marcus pulled back, and I could hear him fumbling with his belt. He freed his hard, erect dick and pushed into me all in one go, with little foreplay. But I was ready for him, wet and needy, and I immediately started moving against him, trying to get him deeper inside of me, to feel him buried all the way to my core.
He caught my hips in a bruising grip and began to thrust, hard and fast, a steady slapping sound hanging in the air as his thighs met my ass over and over again. He pushed my knees out wider, changing the angle so that he was hitting even deeper inside of me, the same spot over and over again until I could barely breathe with how good it all felt.
There was something naughty about doing it out here like this. And I liked that in a way I had never expected.
Suddenly, Marcus slowed down, really letting me feel the drag of each movement, as he pulled nearly all the way out and then pushed back in again. I sobbed, reaching around to grab his hand. I was so close, I just needed…
Marcus continued to toy with me, though, his movements drawn-out and gentle. His fingertips rubbed my clit, and he used his other hand to brush my hair away from my neck so he could kiss a mark into my skin, claiming me as his own.
Slowly, he started to pick up the pace, thrusting into me with meaning again. It took only a couple of good, hard thrusts to that spot inside of me before I was spilling over the edge. I cried out noisily, heedless of who might overhear us. He groaned as well as my inner walls milked him for all he was worth.
