by Blair Grey
He leaned heavily against me as he spent himself inside of me. Even as I came down from my bliss, he pressed another kiss to my neck, tender until the very end.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I rolled away from him on the blanket. I lay there for a moment on my back, my legs akimbo, still exposed to the world. “You’re going to be the death of me,” Marcus groaned good-naturedly.
“Other way around,” I insisted breathlessly.
We both straightened our clothing, and Marcus pulled me over toward him on the blanket. “Come here,” he said, kissing me again, chastely this time. “Was that what you were looking for?”
I laughed again. “Yeah,” I said. And it was. God, I didn’t know what it was about him; I just couldn’t keep my hands off him. But I liked the breathless excitement of it all. The unconventional relationship that we had. I had never been like this with anyone before. Fooling around had always been something kept strictly to the bedroom. This was exciting and fun. And I wanted more.
But wanting more meant wanting a future. Was I ready to broach some of those serious subjects with Marcus?
I looked up at his face, trying to gauge his current emotional state. If I asked him if we could keep this up, what would he do? I was dependent on him for a ride back home; I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable.
The truth was, I really wanted to tell him about the clinic. About my consultation, and about the fact that I wanted to have children. Not because I wanted to tell him I wanted to marry him and have him help me raise those children, but just because I wanted him to know all the big details of my life. I wanted him to get excited for me.
But I chickened out before I could tell him about the clinic, but not before I asked, “Have you ever thought about having kids?”
Marcus looked down at me in shock, his whole body going tense. Slowly, he sat up, turning to face me, and I sat up as well, even though I’d much rather be burrowed against his arms. “You’re not…pregnant, are you?” he asked carefully. “I mean, it’s okay if you are.” He ran a hand back through his hair. “We’ll figure it out. But—”
“I’m not pregnant,” I said before he could get too worked up about it. “I’ve had an implant since I was twenty-two. Can’t get pregnant until it gets taken out.”
To be honest, I had had my implant taken out in preparation for the artificial insemination process. But there was no way I could be fertile again already. My cycle would take some time to normalize.
“Right,” Marcus said, breathing out a sigh of relief.
And that was when I knew I couldn’t tell him about the clinic consultation, even before he continued with his thoughts on having children. He clearly wasn’t comfortable with the idea of it. Any of it. And I couldn’t force him to be.
He looked out over the hazy city and shrugged. “I guess I’ve never really thought much about having children,” he said.
“Haven’t met the right person, or you just don’t think it’s for you?” I asked. I couldn’t help it; I couldn’t keep myself from asking. Even though I was afraid that the more I asked, the more chance I had of screwing things up between us.
Marcus glanced over at me and shrugged, but he didn’t seem upset or weirded out by the questions. “Haven’t met the right person, but I guess I also just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, wondering if he was infertile or something like that.
“My life is just complicated, I guess,” Marcus said, frowning. “Maybe when things settle down more, when I settle down more, I’ll be able to think about it. But I don’t know when that’ll be.”
“And the clock is ticking,” I said quietly. Because that was the way I’d been feeling lately.
“Yeah, exactly,” Marcus said. He shook his head. “I guess when it really comes down to it, I have nothing against having children; I’ve just never really pictured that stage of my life. That chapter.”
And that was fair enough. I couldn’t argue with him, couldn’t tell him that he should be thinking about it. Especially because I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. I didn’t want him to think that I was asking him to have children with me.
We didn’t know one another well enough, not yet. Not anywhere near well enough. I still didn’t know what kind of business he had gotten himself tangled up in. There was something deeper to him, something darker than what he was allowing me to see. I couldn’t get too involved with him.
He would make a good dad, though. I was sure of that. And I wanted to say something along those lines, but before I could, he was getting to his feet. “I guess I should get you back,” he said. “I’ve got a thing I have to go to this evening. A get-together with my buddies.”
“Oh, sure,” I said, trying not to feel disappointed. I hoped this hadn’t ruined things between us.
I should never have asked about kids. But I was still so sure that I wanted to go back to the clinic, regardless of what Marcus’s thoughts were on the matter. If it ruined things between the two of us, then I would just have to deal with it.
We walked back to the bike, and Marcus drove me home. He caught my wrist and pulled me into one last kiss before I could go inside. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised.
“Okay,” I said, breathless from just that simple kiss. “See you soon.”
He was halfway down the street before I realized I was still wearing the leathers he had lent to me. It made me smile a little as I headed inside. I supposed that even if I had made things weird between us, he would have to see me again at some point. At least so he could get them back.
27
Marcus
Wednesday
On Wednesday, I met with Ray for lunch. “I’m glad to see that you haven’t been up to anything stupid this week,” Ray muttered as we looked at our menus.
I grinned crookedly down at my own menu, not choosing to comment on that. The truth was, even though I still wanted to sort things out with the Unknowns, more so now than before even, since I didn’t want them to have a chance to come after Leila, I was being more cautious than I had been. Thinking things through. The last thing I wanted was for them to catch me by surprise.
Not least of which was because I doubted Leila would continue this thing with me if I showed up bruised and battered at the hospital or cut open again. And I could try to go to a different hospital so that she wouldn’t find out about whatever injuries I might sustain, but she had proven that she was smart, recognizing exactly what had been used to cut open my arm. As soon as she got me naked and saw my injuries, she’d be able to diagnose any of them just as easily.
It made me want to be better, for her. I didn’t want to stop whatever it was that she and I were doing.
I was really getting tangled up in my thoughts about her, too. She’d started asking the big questions. Kids. I didn’t know if she thought we were somehow already at that stage in our relationship or what. I had to figure it just had something to do with something Rachel had said to her or some thoughts that she had about Gavin.
But all the same, it had gotten me thinking. I meant what I said to her. I wasn’t at a stage in my life where I could have kids, not right now. I could picture having a family with her, though. No matter that I didn’t know her nearly well enough to be thinking like that; I could picture it.
So I hadn’t gone after the Unknowns again, not yet. I would wait until the time was right.
I was starting to understand where Ray was coming from now. When you had something to lose, it changed your perspective on these things.
We ordered our food, and then Ray sat back, folding his hands on the table. “Honestly, I think the sheriff’s proving to be more trouble for us than the Unknowns,” he said.
He’d come to my place over the weekend, the morning that I’d come back from Leila’s, needing me to tell the guys to steer clear of the clubhouse. It was more of what he’d said the previous week during our club meeting, about needing to go on vacation. But now he wa
sn’t just asking us all to quit doing any sort of business; he was asking us not to meet up with one another unless it was crucial. I didn’t like it, but I understood it, so I’d spread the message.
“Sheriff still snooping around?” I asked. “Did he try to raid the place for drugs again?”
“No, but he’s been checking in. He’s been by the clubhouse every day since last Monday.”
“Shit,” I said, shaking my head. “What trumped-up charges has he had now?”
“I don’t think he’s looking for anything in particular,” Ray said, shrugging. “I think he’s just making sure we can’t do anything for the time being. As soon as we start pulling money in there, for any reason, he’s going to start asking questions. I think as soon as he gets a group of us in there again, he’ll find some reason to arrest us all.”
“So what are we going to do?” I asked. “If we do anything physical to the sheriff himself, it’s going to put a huge target on our backs. Might even draw the attention of some of the higher-ups, from outside Las Cruces.”
“It would,” Ray agreed, nodding his head. “And unfortunately, I haven’t figured out any way to buy him out. He must have some sort of price, but whatever it is, he’s making sure I don’t know it.” He paused. “But if he were distracted by something else, he wouldn’t have as much time to come sniffing around our clubhouse.”
I frowned, thinking that over. “So you’re asking us not to attack the sheriff directly but to make some other trouble in the city? Trouble that can’t be traced back to us?” It would be a risky move, and it didn’t seem like one that Ray would normally suggest.
“No, you misunderstand me,” Ray said, shaking his head and leaning forward. “We don’t need to make more trouble; we just need to make sure that the sheriff is aware of all the trouble that currently exists here. We need to make sure he’s more interested in what the Unknowns are up to than what we’re up to.”
I paused and then sighed. “I don’t know, from the way the sheriff has been coming after us, it almost seems like he’s in with the Unknowns,” I said slowly. “That anonymous tip that we might have drugs in the clubhouse? Where else would that have come from except the Unknowns? We know that they want to take us down; what easier way to do that than to pay off the sheriff and get him to lock us all up?”
“I don’t think so,” Ray said, shaking his head. “I started gathering information about the sheriff when he first came to town, remember? He really does seem to care what the voters think of him. I think the local businesses are playing into his pockets more than anyone else.”
“It could be that,” I agreed, thinking it over. And getting the sheriff on our side would be a nice way to solve our problem with the Unknowns. Imagine if we didn’t have to mess around with them at all, if we could just get law enforcement to go after them.
“Have you heard anything from the Unknowns?” Ray asked. “Any new information?”
I shook my head. “I’ve been laying low,” I told him. It wasn’t a lie. I just wasn’t about to tell him why.
Ray nodded approvingly, though. “Good,” he said. “The last thing I need is you getting on the wrong side of the sheriff right as we’re about to make a move.”
“How are we going to get the sheriff to go after them, though?” I asked, munching on a couple of chips. “We can’t exactly tell him that they’re doing something wrong around town, or else he’ll consider it to be an admission of our own guilt, won’t he?”
“I’m working with some of the shopkeepers who are on our side,” Ray told me. “Eric Venler, in particular.” Eric had been a not-quite member of Red Eyes for at least as long as I’d been in the club. He was a little older than me and owned one of the local businesses. A tough guy, and a good mechanic. We did a lot of business with him, and it was in his best interest to help Ray out, even if he hadn’t been a close personal friend of his.
“What are they going to do?” I asked, still not understanding. It seemed like, again, we weren’t doing anything.
But Ray’s eyes gleamed. “Well, it turns out the Unknowns have been pretty indiscriminate in who they’ve been putting pressure on,” he said. “My hope is that if some of the local businesses start going to the sheriff complaining about the pressure they’re getting from the Unknowns, pressure that’s worse than anything we’ve ever put on them, then the sheriff will have no choice but to listen to their complaints and go after the other club.”
“Makes sense,” I said, seeing the brilliance in that plan. It just might work.
Unless the sheriff really was in thick with the Unknowns. Then he might just use it to further fuel his crusade to push Red Eyes out of town. I supposed only time would tell.
Suddenly, I looked over Ray’s shoulder, my eyes narrowing. “Is that Lex?” I hissed. “No, it can’t be.” Surely the leader of the Unknowns wouldn’t just happen to drop by the same place that Ray and I were having lunch, would he? And he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come there on purpose, either.
Would he?
But sure enough, Lex swaggered over to our table, looking like he didn’t care who in the world saw him talking to us.
For the leader of a biker gang—one that was trying to take over Las Cruces especially—Lex wasn’t much. He wasn’t a very big man, and I couldn’t help thinking that his pinched features and pointed nose just made him look like a rat. He had tattoos all along his arms, but he wasn’t particularly muscular. And as Will and Ray had found out when they’d gone to their first “meeting” with him and his buddies, Lex not only didn’t believe in fighting fair, but he wasn’t willing to lift a finger to help out the members of his club when they were losing the fight.
Ray was the only brand of leader I’d ever seen, and even though his high-and-mighty principles of fair fighting tended to get on my nerves sometimes, I just couldn’t imagine following someone like Lex. At least I knew Ray would always have my back until he drew his last breath.
“Look who we have here,” Lex said sweetly, leaning against the wall next to our booth. “Hey, Ray, how have things been going for you lately? How’s business?”
Ray’s lips tightened fractionally, but it was more with annoyance, I could tell, rather than actual anger. He sat back, looking utterly relaxed. Obviously, the two of them weren’t going to fight right there, not in the middle of the restaurant, but fuck, I just wished there were something I could do to wipe that stupid smirk off Lex’s face.
“Things have been good for us. Less good for you, from what I’ve heard,” Ray said, his voice sugary-sweet.
Lex raised an eyebrow at him, though. “Business has been good? Really?” He narrowed his eyes. “I heard that you guys were taking some time off. But I guess a little vacation is good for everyone, isn’t it?”
Ray rolled his eyes. “At least we have some business to take time off from,” he said, a pointed jab.
Lex snickered. “Don’t let the sheriff hear you say that,” he said. “He’ll want to know exactly what sort of business you’re involved in. Except that—oh wait—he already knows that, doesn’t he? I hear he’s been checking out the clubhouse all week, making sure that you’re not bringing in drugs.”
“You know very well that we’re not involved in that sort of thing,” I said frostily, no longer able to sit back and just watch the exchange. Lex’s eyes flickered over to me, and I saw real anger flash in them for the first time. I wondered if he knew that I was the one who had gone by their hideout, that I was the one who had knocked his guy unconscious. If so, good. I wanted him to know a threat when he saw one.
“You probably sent the sheriff yourself, didn’t you?” I continued. “Couldn’t root us out yourself, so you had to get him to do your dirty work.”
“Marcus,” Ray said in a low, warning tone. I hated it, but I obediently fell silent. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Lex was right; the last thing we needed was to be too vocal about our business. You never knew who was listening.
Lex shook his h
ead. “Anyway, business is better for us than you might think. I know you haven’t had a chance to check in with any of your businesses lately since you’re too worried about what the sheriff will think.” He smirked. “But we’re taking good care of them all. And in return, your old businesses are taking good care of us. It seems that plenty of them were ready to pay their monthly dues to us instead, especially once we gave them a little bit of a cut. You were charging pretty exorbitant rates, given the amount of protection you… weren’t offering them.”
“Bullshit,” Ray snapped, anger finally getting the better of him. Even though our business here in Las Cruces was just that, business, Ray had been doing business around the city for long enough that he viewed most of the business owners more like extended family than as actual customers. He’d be pissed to hear that the Unknowns were messing with them.
But what were we going to do about it? The sheriff would be on our asses in a second if we tried to fight it. Our best bet was to do what Ray had suggested: get the sheriff looking at the Unknowns instead of us. The problem was that was going to take time.
And besides, there was no guarantee that it would work. The longer Lex talked, the surer I was that the sheriff was in cahoots with them.
Had the whole election somehow been rigged, or had the Unknowns managed to pay the sheriff off before we had gotten to him? Neither seemed very likely, but I just didn’t know anymore.
“You’re not going to get away with all of this,” Ray said confidently, folding his arms across his chest. “There will be retribution.”
Lex laughed. “Big words for someone who’s shown he doesn’t have a spine left in him,” he taunted. He leaned against the end of our table, both palms flat on the smooth surface as he leaned in close to Ray. “Face it, Ray Thompson. We’re going to bury you. Literally.” He glanced over at me, a threat in his gaze, and then straightened up. “Anyway, it was nice catching up with you. Don’t wait too long before you get back in the game.”
