No Ordinary Bloke

by Mary Whitney

  Her breath hitched, and we were both quiet. Why did I make that stupid declaration that I wasn’t going to kiss her? Because at that moment, I was quite sure she wanted to be kissed. She even lightly licked her lips, which sent all of the blood in my body to my dick. I took a steadying breath and placed one of her stray curls back behind her ear. “Shall we get back to the lesson?”

  Her eyes wide, they didn’t stray from me as she slowly nodded.

  For the next couple of hours, we played pool, and I tried to keep the sexual innuendoes to a minimum. About half way through, an older man asked to join us, and when he offered her some tips, it never sounded sexual at all. Allison took such a shine to him and he to her that I got a bit jealous at one point. It was good to have someone to diffuse the tension between Allison and me, even if he did sneak some looks at her tits. Eventually, he put away his cue saying he needed to sleep before his early shift. As he moved on, I frowned as I looked at my watch.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “I’ll need to leave soon as well. I have a bugger of a flight at six in the morning.”

  “That’s too bad.” Her forehead wrinkled in what looked to be real sympathy for me. I was surprised when she said, “I’m going to miss you again.”

  “My darling girl,” I said taking her into my arms. “I’ll miss you, but let’s plan to see each other again.”

  “When?” She held on to my shirt.

  “Well, let’s see…” I smiled. “I’m in the States next week.”

  “Are you really?” Her eyes brightened. “Can you come to New York?”

  “That’s the catch. I’m stuck in DC. I arrive on Wednesday and have meetings Thursday and Friday. I’m staying with Adam and Nicki over the weekend. I promised to babysit Little V on Saturday night, so I can’t back out. But if you could come to DC for the weekend, that would be fantastic. I’d love for you to meet Adam and Nicki.”

  She leaned back, trying to take a good look at me. “You’re babysitting?”

  “Nanny David. That’s me.”

  “Do you know anything about babies?”

  “Not too much, actually.”

  “Then why do they let you sit with her?”

  “Oh, I know enough to sit in the house while she sleeps for the night. That’s all it is. They feed her, bathe her, and put her down for the night. Then they go out, and I watch football or a movie. It works out quite well.” I winked. “I could teach you. Please come.”

  Still in my arms, she smiled. “I’d like to, but I have a friend’s birthday party on Friday night.”

  “Then take the train on Saturday morning.”

  “I could do that.” She looked down at my arms and said, “This is a strange thing to say given how we’re standing at the moment, but where would I sleep?”

  “Don’t worry. The invitation isn’t a big ruse just to get you in bed. They live in a big house in Cleveland Park. There’s a whole floor of spare bedrooms. You can take your pick.”

  “Okay.” Her smile again reappeared.

  “Besides. The last place I’d want to have sex is there. Those walls are bloody thin.”

  “So you get to hear the baby cry a lot”

  “Yes, you do, but you get used to it.”

  “Well, I’d like to visit then, if you think it will be okay with Adam and Nicki.”

  “Oh, they’ll love it.”

  “How is it that Adam married an American?”

  “Ah, that’s a long, tortured story.” I then remembered something that I rarely thought about it, except when a good opportunity arose to tease Adam. I pointed toward the door. “Let me walk you back to your hotel, and I’ll tell it to you.”

  She nodded, and I took her hand. I figured if she was fine with me hugging her in public then she should be okay with me holding her hand. Still I asked, “Is this all right?”

  “Fine by me.” She grinned.

  When we got outside, I said, “I need to tell you this before you meet Nicki anyway.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’ll get to it.” I guided her across the street which led to the faster route to where she was staying. “When Adam was in high school, his father took the family to America for a year. Uncle Albert was a geologist.”

  “I thought you said he was a viscount or something.”

  “He was both.”

  “Oh, I never really think of people like that as having professions.”

  “Listen. I hate the aristocracy as much as the next good republican, but many of them do have actual jobs.”

  “Yet, you still dislike their wealth and privilege?”

  “I really just dislike their privilege and privileged attitudes and love of God awful teams like Arsenal.”

  “Was Adam’s dad like that?”

  “Not quite. He was too smart to be a complete arsehole.”

  “So he moved his family to America for a year? Where was that?”

  “Houston, Texas. That’s where he and Nicki met.”

  “And is that where you and Nicki met?” She chuckled.

  “Yes, it was.” I shrugged. “The short story is that Adam had another bird at the time. I’d been on a gap year traveling in Central America, and when I stopped to visit Adam in Houston, I met Nicki at a party. We hooked up and then—”

  “You hooked up?” she asked disbelievingly.

  “Wrong choice of words. Nicki and I snogged away the evening at a party one night.”

  “You what?”

  “Snogged. You know. Kiss, makeout. That sort of thing.”

  “You made out with your cousin’s wife when you were teenagers?” She said flatly.

  “Essentially. We didn’t have sex. Not even close. But afterward I could tell that Adam was jealous. I guessed he had a thing for her despite his girlfriend at the time.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “Nothing with me. I left. I think a month or so later Adam broke up with his bird and started up with Nicki.”

  “Wow. They’ve been together for twenty years?”

  “More like five with a fifteen year or so hiatus.”

  “Where did they meet again?”

  “In DC. She was working at the White House at the time as a press secretary, and he was with the BBC. Now, she’s doing consulting, and he’s drawing political cartoons, though under a penname. He said it was easier to get started if he didn’t use his real name.”

  “They sound interesting.”

  “I’m glad you’re going to meet them.”

  We chatted more until we arrived outside her hotel. The hour was late so the street was quiet, and the valets and bellboys were all inside waiting for a straggler guest to show for the night. I stopped before we got too close though. I didn’t want to say goodbye with a fucking audience. “Here you are, love. Safely at your destination.”

  “Yes, we are.” She looked down at our hands still clasped together. When she looked up, she said, “Thanks for tonight, but really thank you for sending that note. You made it easier for me to come to you, and you didn’t have to do that.”

  “You’re welcome, but I must admit it wasn’t my idea.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I was such a bastard to be around that my cousin thought I should reach out to you. I wasn’t sure about it because I thought you never wanted to hear from me again, but Sylvia insisted.” I smiled. “It turns out she was right.”

  “So I need to thank her?” She laughed. “Or have you already?”

  “Fuck no,” I snarled. “I dread telling her she was right.”

  “What’s she like?”

  “Impossible.” Not wanting to spoil the mood with any more talk of Sylvia, I squeezed her hand. “I’m happy you asked me to lunch. That’s what really got us started again. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She beamed at me in silence. Again, the moment was right to lean in for a kiss, but I’d made my promise. I was just about to capitulate a bit with a kiss on the forehead when she
laughed. “You’re really not going to kiss me, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  “You’re going to make me beg aren’t you?”

  “I know we joked about that, but it really wasn’t my intention.”

  “It’s okay. It’s okay,” she said in a sing-song voice. She looked aside and then caught my eye. “Do you want to kiss me?”

  “Hell, yes.”

  “Such restraint.”

  “Indeed.”

  She tilted her head to the side. “What if I ask you to kiss me?” She took a step closer to me and leaned in, “Or what if I just kiss you?”

  “Those are your decisions, love,” I said as I gently touched her chin.

  Without another word, she brought her smiling lips to mine for a slow, soft kiss that sparked my cold, tired heart. We’d never kissed before, but it seemed like we knew each other’s lips well. Closing my eyes, I wove my fingers into her hair as I kept up with the slew of kisses coming from her lips. As if on cue, we simultaneously opened our mouths, and everything new between us again became instantly familiar. When I heard a small whimper, I murmured, “Oh, my darling girl.”

  She pulled away, her face flushed, but with a bewildered smile. I probably looked the same damn way. Touching her hair for a second, she said shyly, “So when you were with Nicki. Did you kiss that way in high school?”

  “Oh, God no. I’m sure I was slobbering hulk of teenage testosterone.”

  Tousling my hair, she laughed. “I bet you were just as adorable.”

  “Scruffier back then. Not as well mannered either.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist, bringing her body against mine again. “Of course, my manners are escaping me now because I really would fancy another kiss.”

  “Me too,” she said, placing her lips to mine.

  The kiss picked up where our last left off, and I was getting a giant stiffy. I shifted my hips so she wouldn’t feel it. I thought it better not to dry hump in front of a posh hotel in the middle of a London city pavement. After another minute of sweet, hot kisses, I had to stop, or I’d be dragging her up to her hotel room. I placed my forehead on hers. “We should stop…or maybe just I need to stop. You can probably control yourself.”

  “I don’t know about that,” she said, laughing. She ran her hand through my hair again. “You make it difficult.”

  “Oh, my darling,” I said, nuzzling her neck. “I already can’t wait to see you again.”

  Over the next week, Allison and I were in constant contact. Little texts, occasional emails, and nightly calls took over our days. I was a happier man, which Elinor noticed. The following Monday, I walked by her desk, thinking I was minding my own business. Elinor looked up from her keyboard and gave me a knowing smile. “We’re cheery lately, aren’t we?”

  “As usual, eh?”

  “Right.” She rolled her eyes and went back to her typing. I deserved it. I’d been a sorry git to her for months.

  Before I left for DC, I rang Adam to tell him about Allison’s visit. I knew he would be excited for me, and he was. “That’s brilliant, mate. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “So I want to get a few things sorted with you and if you could in turn chat with Nicki that would be very helpful.” I leaned back in my office chair and snacked on my afternoon biscuits.

  “What sort of things?”

  “I suppose the first is that I’m not sure what the sleeping situation will be.”

  “Ah…” He laughed. “I wish you all the best on that, but just in case we’ll put her in a room of her own, right next to yours of course.”

  “That’s exactly what I was hoping for.”

  “All right. What else?”

  “Just so you know I told her how I'd snogged Nicki when we were kids.” I bit into another biscuit.

  “Oh Lord. Why on earth did you do that?”

  “Come on,” I said, my voice muffled by biscuit. “Keeping that sort of thing to yourself is a sure-fire way to piss off a bird. I told her, and she found it sort of odd, but funny and hopefully, harmless. If I hadn’t told her, she would’ve eventually learned about it and thought I was a bastard who has hiding a secret crush on your wife.”

  “True.” He lowered his voice. “Do you have a secret crush on my wife?”

  “Fuck no.” Then I chuckled. “Obviously, I’m quite public about it.”

  “You’re a bastard,” he grumbled. “Wait til I start chatting up this girl of yours.”

  “Calm down, Adam. You know I’m pulling your leg.” I would never understand why this man who had so much both by birth and by hard work was so insecure. He’d been this way since we were kids. He was the very opposite of me. “Nicki’s yours and yours alone, which makes you a lucky man.”

  “Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “So are you still up for babysitting on Saturday night?”

  “Of course. Allison and I can play house.”

  “I thought you might say that.” He laughed. “And what about our football match on Sunday?”

  “Crap. I forgot about that.” I wondered what Allison might think of an afternoon watching a game.

  “You’re not going to back out on me, are you?”

  “I don’t know if she likes football.”

  “How can you possibly have a future together if she doesn’t like football?”

  “Good point. I’ll talk with her about it.”

  “Just don’t get in a fight, this time, okay?”

  “I’ll be on my best behavior. I’m going to have a date after all.”

  Late Saturday morning, I leaned against a wall of the waiting area of Union Station as I read a paper someone had left behind. Hearing a new crowd of people walk through the doors, I looked up and saw my Allison in the masses. Her red hair was hard to miss. I waved the paper just a bit, so she could see me. When she did, a big smile crossed her face and her pace quickened. Wearing a flowing sundress, a blazer, and heels, she looked like a hot model for spring fashion, coming straight for me.

  We met halfway, and I leaned down and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Hello, darling. How was the train?”

  “Hi, David,” she said, a little bashfully. “The train ride was fine. I got some work in. Thanks so much for meeting me here. You didn’t have to.”

  “I’m not going to let you take a taxi.”

  “Did you drive?”

  “Adam leant me his car.”

  “Wait a second.” She looked at me askance. “Can you drive on this side of the street?”

  “For the most part.”

  “Enough for Adam to trust you with his car?”

  “Just enough, love.”

  As we drove through the web of streets that cross Washington, DC, I noticed that Allison had her foot pressed to the floor like she was braking for me. Driving in America was always easy unless I had to turn; then it got a little confusing. She looked at me fearfully as I risked our lives getting on to Connecticut Avenue. “This is a nice car.”

  “It is. I have one in black,” I said, stroking the leather of the Tesla. “Don’t worry. When I drive you in England, it won’t be this frightening.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve been in some scary cabs before.”

  “Thank you for the vote of confidence.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiled. “It’s sort of funny. I guess I had it in my mind that you were good at everything.”

  “I am a good driver. It’s just these American streets are arsebackwards.”

  “Americans say the same thing in the UK, so we’re even.”

  As we drove up Connecticut and the street became less urban, she said, “I’ve never been to this neighborhood.”

  “Nicki tells me it’s where President Cleveland used to have a summer vacation home because it was cooler than the rest of the city.”

  “Really?”

  “Utter bollocks. It’s hotter than hell in the summer time.”

  She laughed. “You would hate an Iowa summer.”

  “I might not
hate it. I’d just wilt.” I turned onto Nicki and Adam’s street and pointed to a rambling old house. “Their house is that blue one on the right.”

  “Wow. That looks like a presidential vacation home.”

  “Not a president’s, but supposedly one of his friends.”

  “It’s just the two of them in there?”

  “The three of them.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I forgot about Veronica.”

  “She’ll make her presence known to you soon enough,” I said as I parked the car. “They bought a big house because they like having guests, and they’d like to have a big family.”

  She admired the home and said in an almost wistful voice, “Those are very nice aspirations.”

  “Indeed.”

  We got out of the car, and as I pulled her bag from the boot, the front door opened. Out came Adam, holding Little V. Barefoot and in jeans and a t-shirt with V’s puke all over the shoulders, he looked like a fucking advertisement for new fathers. Allison smiled at him. No doubt, her ovaries were already exploding. I shook my head. Wait till she hears the wanker speak.

  “Hello you two,” he said in his perfect, upper-class accent.

  “Hello,” I said, a little sourly as I escorted Allison up the steps.

  “Hi,” she said, clutching her bag.

  “Welcome,” Adam said as he bounced V up and down.

  When we reached him, I put down her bag and put my arm around her waist. “Adam, I’d like to introduce Allison Wright to you. Allison, this is my cousin Adam Kincaid.”

  “It’s wonderful to meet you,” Adam said, extending his hand. “This is my daughter Veronica.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Allison answered as she shook his hand. “She’s adorable.”

  “May I take her?” I asked, holding my hands out to Adam. I loved Veronica. Truly I did, but at that moment I needed her as a prop to distract Allison from Adam.

  “Certainly,” Adam said as he handed her over.

  My reinforcement came as Nicki came up behind Adam. “Is Allison here? Did she survive?”

  “She’s here,” I said before giving Nicki’s ponytail a tug. “Yes, she survived. My driving isn’t so bad.”