Chartreuse

by T. E. Ridener

  Awful right field seats in Fenway, paying $7 for weak beer after weak beer, watching the game with his upper body turned toward him as the seats required, catching the faintest hint of sweetness from his hair and the shampoo he used. Feeling out of place at his favorite brunch spot in Cambridge, filled with its ranks of alternative, hipster types and their ubiquitous piercings and mismatched outfits, but feeling that awkwardness melt away as he found him smiling not with disdain at his Charlestown accent and stories of his youth, but with the doe-eyed gaze of someone as enamored with him as he was with Elliott. He had loved the city then, loved every one of its dive bars and hole-in-the-wall restaurants, the Green Line and the party buses, the vagrants and the belligerent drunks. He had loved it as a part of loving him but he would never be tied with the city from this point forward in his mind.

  He could never go back.

  He could still remember it so freshly in his mind. Even though it had been three years since that fateful day. He’d come home after a long day of exams. He had been so exhausted. All he wanted was to curl up in bed with Elliott and watch movies, or just talk. It didn’t matter, because anything with Elliott was surely better than the stress he had to go through with school.

  He unlocked the front door with his cherished key and stepped inside, rubbing at the back of his neck as he sighed. He tossed his keys onto the table that was positioned conveniently there at the entrance, and then he shrugged out of his jacket, putting it on the coat rack as Elliott always preferred before he moved into the kitchen for a glass of lemonade.

  He’d kicked off his shoes near the beginning of the hallway, which Elliott would scold him for but he could move them later. Right now he just wanted their bed, and Elliott’s arms around him. He traveled down the hallway and reached for the door knob, but he stopped when he heard a giggle. A very feminine giggle. His heart froze inside of his chest, becoming a heavy, painful lump of devastation.

  Elliott was known for the occasional comedy-romance, so maybe it was just the television. But then there was a moan, and Rowan’s blood ran cold. Oh, God. No. Please no. Though when he pushed the door open, his sudden fears were confirmed. Elliott was tangled up in the sheets with a young, very attractive red head. She was arching her back, her nails digging into Elliott’s upper back as he slammed his hips into hers.

  Rowan stood there for several seconds, mouth agape, and tears glistening in his eyes as he tried to take it all in.

  “Oh, fuck. Right there, Baby. You know how I like it,” She purred like a kitten. A very disgusting, red haired, home-wrecking kitten.

  “Oh, yeah. I know,” Elliott was growling as he gripped the head board, slamming into her again. They probably wouldn’t have known he was there, but the shattering of the glass as it hit the floor, sending lemonade everywhere made Elliott’s head snap up and he froze. He’d been caught. The red head let out a small gasp, her eyes nearly bulging out of her head when she met Rowan’s furious gaze. She was like a deer caught in headlights, not even being dignified enough to cover her breasts.

  “Rowan..” Elliott started, immediate remorse in his voice. “Rowan, Baby, I can—“

  “How could you?” Rowan asked, his voice breaking. He swallowed hard, though that was painful to do. He slumped against the door frame. “After two years, Elliott? Two years…” He turned and hurried from the bedroom, staggering blindly down the hall as tears flooded his cheeks. But he caught the small voice of the red head.

  “You’re gay?” She asked, a bit shocked.

  He could hear the sound of Elliott’s bare feet hitting the floor as he pursued him, but Rowan did not stop. He was grabbing up his shoes, wiping at his eyes angrily as he plopped down on the edge of the couch for the briefest of moments, struggling to get his shoes on.

  And then Elliott was there, his hands on Rowan’s shoulders as he pleaded with him. “Baby, please don’t,” He said. “I’m so sorry. I…Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m stupid, okay? She means nothing to me.”

  When Rowan finally had his shoes on, he put his foot down hard before he glared up at Elliott. It must have been a mean glare, because Elliott backed off immediately.

  “She means nothing to you?” He asked. “And I do? You don’t do this to someone you love, Elliott. You don’t hurt them. You don’t cheat on them. And you sure as hell do not bring home some girl to fuck in our bed.”

  Elliott was quiet for a moment, and Rowan just stood there staring at him, “Don’t give me that bullshit, Elliott. If she meant nothing to you, she would not be in our bed. She would not be causing this to happen right now,” He was crying again, voice threatening to give out on him all together. He pointed towards the door then, fingers trembling. “I’m going to leave now. And when I come back, it will be to get my CD collection and the few outfits I have here. I won’t come back to talk or work anything out. This is done. We’re done.”

  Elliott moved towards the door, and it apparently didn’t matter to him that he was naked, and that he was glistening with sweat from his acts of infidelity, “I’m not letting you leave,” He said, his blue eyes frantic.

  “If you don’t move, Elliott,” He said lowly, “I will move you myself.” He picked up his jacket before he reach down for his keys. “Unless you’ve forgotten my six years of boxing,” He glanced up at him again, his jawline tight. His face was red and more tears were still trying to fall from his saddened brown eyes. The light had left them entirely, and Elliott would never see it there because of him again.

  “I’m so sorry,” Elliott whispered, brows furrowed. “I love you so much, Rowan. I do. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

  Rowan moved closer to the door, reaching down to grip the knob as he gazed right into Elliott’s eyes, their noses an inch apart as he wrinkled his own in disgust. “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” He whispered. “We’re over.”

  The words had a devastating effect on Rowan, and it seemed to be mutual as Elliott moved away from the door, though tears were falling down his cheeks.

  “Rowan,” He whispered. But it was too late. Rowan slammed the door hard, nearly leaping off the porch as he hurried to his car. It was only after he’d gotten inside and closed the door that everything crashed down onto him. The cruel realization that his forever had just brought their happiness to a sickening halt. It hurt like hell.

  “Rowan?” The sudden soft voice pulled him back out of his thoughts as he looked straight into the very concerned eyes of Kasen.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Rowan rubbed at the bridge of his nose before he blinked, offering a small smile. “I uh, I guess I got caught up in my thoughts again. I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay,” Kasen replied gently. “You just totally zoned out for a few minutes there and I was afraid something was wrong.”

  “No. Nothing’s wrong, I promise,” Rowan reassured him, jumping slightly as Nikki came back with their check. He took it quickly, scanning the total before he pulled out his debit card and handed it to her. When she disappeared again, he let out a shaky breath. “Sometimes my mind just wanders. I apologize.”

  “It’s okay,” Kasen repeated, nodding to him. “I do it sometimes, too,” Then he gave that little crooked smile, that made his eyes sparkle and Rowan gazed at him for longer than he should have.

  You’re going to get hurt. Very hurt. Just stop it. He told himself. But he wasn’t listening to himself at that very moment. As a matter of fact, he was out of service until further notice. There was just something tugging at the back of his mind about this kid. Every time they ran into each other, it couldn’t just be coincidence. What had happened at the radio station, that wasn’t something that just ‘happened’. There was a reason for it, or at least Rowan wanted to believe that.

  When Nikki returned with his card and a receipt, Rowan pulled out his wallet and handed her a five. “Thank you,” He nodded to her before he stood up. He surely didn’t see the way she reacted to getting a five dollar bill, but Kasen noticed it because she smiled and he couldn’t h
elp but to smile back.

  They exited the Waffle House and then Rowan unlocked his car, getting in and starting it quickly so the heat could circulate through the vehicle. He glanced over at Kasen, who’d just put on his seatbelt and was rubbing his hands together. For the short distance they had to walk, it sure as hell got cold fast. Though, still, it was nothing compared to Boston.

  “Thanks for the breakfast,” Kasen said, suddenly, startling Rowan a bit.

  “Oh, it’s not a problem,” Rowan nodded. “It was my pleasure,” He flashed Kasen another smile before he carefully backed up and then headed back out onto the main highway to get back to the small town of Chartreuse. He took his time, just in case Kasen wasn’t in any hurry to get back just yet.

  “I’ve always imagined what it looked like beyond my town,” Kasen said thoughtfully, before he turned to glance at Rowan.

  Rowan smiled, resting his hand down beside of his thigh as he drove. He’d always been better at driving with one hand. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as if it were safe to do so, but he somehow managed to control the vehicle better, “Well, now you know what a little bit of it looks like,” He said, as they left Enterprise behind. Maybe one day they would come back. Or maybe not. Rowan had no way of looking into the future, and he couldn’t be sure that he and Kasen would even be talking a month from now. Though, he sort of hoped.

  -----------------------

  Kasen still couldn’t believe how the night had turned out. Sadly, it was the most excitement he’d seen in a long time. The only thing he could really compare it to was when the circus came to town when he was eleven. He had been so excited to see the elephants, clowns, and tight rope walkers. He’d never experienced anything like it before.

  Was he comparing Rowan to the circus? Was that weird? He bit his lip when Rowan finally pulled up to the apartment complex where Kasen lived and he put the car in park. Kasen chewed at the soft flesh before he turned a bit to look at the other. “Thanks a lot,” He said again. “It’s been a blast, really,” He gave him that same little nervous smile of his.

  “As I said, it was my pleasure,” Rowan nodded to him, moving his hand up to run his fingers through his raven locks.

  Then there was silence. Kasen wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen here. A handshake? Just a goodbye? He wasn’t very good at making friends…..that could explain why he didn’t have any.

  “Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” Rowan suddenly asked.

  Kasen blinked, feeling his cheeks heating up once again. Why did that keep happening around Rowan? Oh, that’s right. First off, he was a really good looking guy. Second off, Kasen was attracted to guys. And lastly, he might have very carelessly developed a crush on a man he barely knew, and of whom he wasn’t even sure if he was gay. You’re a smart one lately, Kasen. He thought to himself.

  “Yeah,” Kasen replied, unsure if he even recognized his own voice right now. “That would be really cool, actually. Though uh, there’s not too much to do around here…”

  But then Rowan smiled. It was a sly smile of sorts. He gave a small shrug, “Who says it has to be here?”

  Kasen’s smile grew bigger as he nodded, finally unbuckling his seatbelt, “Then I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked.

  “Definitely,” Rowan promised.

  Kasen opened the door and got out, though he leaned back down to look at Rowan, “Again, thank you,” He said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Uh, bye,” Then he awkwardly closed the door before he started walking towards the steps to go up to his apartment. He could have kicked himself for sounding like such an idiot.

  He’s a friend. He told himself. That’s all he is. He’s new and doesn’t have anyone to hang out with. So just relax and be cool. Don’t mess this up. He rolled his eyes at himself as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, to see a very happy Houston.

  “Hey, Boy,” He said gently, kneeling down to pet behind his ears before straightening up again. “Boy, have I got a night to tell you about.”

  Chapter Nine

  It was the loud banging on his front door that damn near caused Rowan to fall out of his bed. Napoleon barked, but otherwise, he didn’t move from the floor. It took Rowan a good thirty seconds before he realized that it wasn’t a dream, and he needed to get to the door to see what the hell was going on. He reached for his shirt, blindly, and tugged it on before he got up and walked hastily down the hallway to the front door. He peeked through the peep hole to see a man standing there.

  Thump Thump Thump. It made him jump a little. But then he opened the door and stared at the man in a bit of bewilderment.

  “Can I help you?” He asked, yawning.

  “Sorry. Didn’t know you’d be asleep,” The man said.

  Rowan’s thick brows shot up on his forehead. If he thought he’d heard a southern accent before, he was clearly mistaken. This man had the southern drawl down pat. He was a fairly tall man, but he was just as round. He wore a red and black flannel with a pair of overalls, and a brown tattered cap that covered his salt and pepper hair. His beard though, was an entirely different thing. He reminded Rowan of hillbilly Santa.

  “It’s no problem,” Rowan insisted as he ran his hand through his messy hair. “What can I do for you, Sir?”

  “Well,” The man started. “My names Lloyd Bruckhemer. That there’s my boy Cecil,” He nodded towards the red truck in the driveway where a thin, blond boy was sitting in the passenger seat. “Don’t be rude, Cecil. When I introduce ya to people, ya wave. Manners, Son.”

  Rowan tried very hard not to laugh. So he just nodded to the boy who waved at him. Then he focused back on Lloyd when he turned back around.

  “Well ya see, I got me a problem,” He continued. “One of my huntin’ dogs ain’t doin’ too well. I’ve ‘ad her fer ‘bout six years an’ this mornin’ she just didn’t wanna get up and go. I’s like ‘Now, Betsy, it’s time ta go huntin’, but Betsy just didn’t wanna go.”

  Rowan blinked, wrapping his mind around the accent and words before it all finally registered.

  “So, you want me to check on Betsy?” He asked.

  There was a deep chuckle from the man as he reached out and patted Rowan’s shoulder, “Well I reckon that’s what I’m getting’ at, Boy. It’s what ya do fer a livin’ ain’t it?”

  “Yes, Sir,” Rowan replied with a nod.

  “Good then,” Lloyd mumbled. “Well, I live out there off Butter Lane. It ain’t hard to find me. Just go to the end of the road and I’m right there. Ya can’t miss me.”

  “Butter Lane…” Rowan said, trying to remember that. It wasn’t hard-he just wasn’t fully awake yet.

  “Why yeah. Just go ‘bout five miles outta town and ya will find Butter Lane. It ain’t hard, Boy. I reckon you’s got yerself one o’ those fancy GPS thingiemuhbobs that will tell you right where to go, right? Just use it. Though back in my day, we just had maps, ya know.”

  ----------------------

  Kasen was nervous. He finally woke up around one, and he panicked for a moment that he’d missed Rowan all together. That didn’t seem to be the case at all, thankfully. He scrambled out of bed, took a shower, and then he had to find something decent to wear. He never really worried too much about his attire, because he never did anything other than go to work, where no one saw him, and then visit his mother occasionally-but this was different. He wanted to look nice.

  He finally found a solid blue button up, and he put that on along with a pair of his best jeans. And by best jeans, that meant a pair that wasn’t ripped at the knees. He was surprised he owned a pair that didn’t have holes in them. Then he put on his boots and grabbed for his denim jacket, putting it on before he glanced down at Houston who was watching him curiously.

  “I’m sorry that I can’t take you to the park right now. But I promise that’s what we’re doing this evening. Don’t worry,” He gave him a pat on the head before he grabbed for his cellphone and his cigarettes, stuffing them into his pocket before he headed out.

&nbs
p; It was probably quite pitiful to sit on the bench outside of his apartment for well over thirty minutes, but he’d never been so anxious for anything in his life. He’d never had a reason to be anxious before. It was when he saw Rowan’s car pulling up, that a grin broke out over his face and he stood up. Rowan pulled up and then rolled his window down a bit.

  “Hey,” Rowan said with a smile. “Sorry I’m a bit later than I expected to be. I had to go check on a dog before I could come over.”

  “That’s okay,” Kasen insisted with a broad smile of his own. “It’s not a problem at all.”

  Rowan glanced at him again, squinting one eye as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds briefly, “So, you ready to get out of this town for a while?”

  “You bet,” Kasen said excitedly. He moved over to the other side of the car, opening the passenger door before he got in. He glanced over at Rowan again, who was smiling back at him. “So you had to see a dog today?” He asked curiously.

  “Yeah,” Rowan replied. “A vet’s job is never done,” Though he didn’t mind at all. It turned out however, that Betsy was pregnant. She was just doing what any female dog did her first time being pregnant. She was being lazy.

  They got onto the highway fairly quickly, and Rowan was going in the direction of Enterprise, although that’s not where they were stopping today. Instead, Rowan had been looking up different things activities they could enjoy together, and he thought it would be fun to take Kasen to see a bigger part of Alabama. It was a long drive for many, but Rowan knew it would be worth it.

  “Do you have to work tonight?” Rowan asked curiously.

  “Uh, no. Not really,” Kasen shrugged. “Dougie normally does the weekends.”

  Rowan smirked, lifting a brow, “Good,” He continued driving, while Kasen remained as quiet as a mouse.

  He honestly had no idea where they were going. All he knew was that he was once again leaving Chartreuse far behind. That wasn’t something that he was going to complain about. As they passed by various city limits, Kasen was beginning to become curious.