“Get to the point, old man.”
“In its original form, in the Irish of ancient times, the phrase is almost the same, yet not the same. Damán allaid.”
“Wild fawn,” Airech whispered.
“Indeed.”
Fintan felt his failure as a savage blow to his heart. Devin had given them his true name, his ancient name, and they had never realised its significance.
“If he’s a direct descendent of Sadhbh, he has royal Milesian blood. He’s one of my people,” Airech said. “I think I should bring him back home with me.”
His words brought the low simmering of Fintan’s blood back to a seething boil. “They’re not your people any more. They turned their backs on you. There are no people for us,” he said bitterly. “Only each other. And perhaps the poor souls who dwell here, not even aware of the evil that’s about to be unleashed on them.”
Devin cried out in his sleep and Cap, glowering at them, gave a warning rumble. Fintan winced under the sting of Airech’s answering fury as he attacked him in a savage whisper.
“Since when do you care so much about them? You abandoned them to their own devices over a thousand years ago.”
Fintan could still feel the weight of that time pressing on him. “I was so weary—”
“You were tired of no one listening to you anymore. Neither you nor Cap could handle being demoted from all-powerful beings to some scarcely remembered myth. And now you want to take charge again. But in this band, we’re all equal. You’re not my leader, Fintan. I’ll do things my way if my instincts tell me it’s the only way.”
Fighting to restore his usual calmness, Fintan looked up to the stars above him, watching them twinkle as they had under the same enchantment for thousands of years. But it was an illusion. Just as he’d told Devin, you could trick your mind into thinking it was the sky, but it would never be the sky.
Airech had never tried to hide his fatalistic belief that their quest was a hopeless one, their reluctant band of misfit gods doomed to fail. And if he felt that way, who could blame him? They were unlikely allies, brought together against their will, without any ties of family or friendship.
One hundred years of working together had filled in some of the cracks of their alliance, like a fresh coat of wet clay on crumbling walls. But the underlying structure had no solid foundation to work from, no history of love and loyalty. Fintan always believed he would be the one to hold them together long enough to create something of substance, lasting and real. Now he was filled with doubt.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t understand Airech’s ambivalence. He did. Airech was a collector, thrilling in the satisfaction of enticing souls to his side. Called to this band and cut free from the moorings of his identity, he was forced to chase the same heady rush in other ways. By acquiring mortal hearts instead, often destroying them in the process.
Fintan was aware of Airech’s reckless dalliances in the mortal realm. He preferred not to know the details. As the keeper of all ancient knowledge, his mind was already full of troubling things. But he knew Airech’s never-ending conquests made for a soulless existence, and that was the bitterest of ironies.
He gave Airech a wan smile. “If you wish to return to the Milesians, then there’s nothing I can do to prevent it. But Devin stays here.”
He wasn’t prepared when Airech rushed at him, taking his shoulders roughly and forcing his face close to Fintan’s own.
“Is that how little you think of me?” he raged, his breath hot and ragged on Fintan’s cheek. “That after I abandoned my family, my tribe, my duty as the Dark Bringer, for you and Cap, I’d walk away from our quest, without a backward glance? Do you honestly think I’m capable of that kind of disloyalty?”
Fintan’s felt the crushing pressure ease as Airech loosened his grip. When he spoke again, the harshness was gone from his silken voice.
“I never suggested rejoining my tribe, only consulting them. You’re right, it was a stupid idea, I doubt they would help. It’s an automatic response, to want to turn to them. It’s different for you and Cap. You’re both used to being alone.”
Fintan leaned into Airech, their foreheads almost colliding.
“You forget Cap was one of seven. All gone in a single leap,” he said, his words thick with pain. “And I chose to be alone after losing too much. Like twelve sons between sunrise and sunset, at the hands of Cap’s tribe. We’ve all made sacrifices, Airech.”
“You want to talk to me about sacrifice?!” Airech bit back. “Are you forgetting the choice I had to make? The one that made me the Dark Bringer?”
He trembled slightly, his face glistening with a sheen of sweat. Fintan inhaled his familiar scent, spicy and sweet. He often caught the trace of it on his skin in the mornings. Airech leaned in closer, and once again Fintan felt the warm rush of breath on his flushed cheek. It was different this time. Like a sigh of longing. His body quivered in response.
“Will you please stop trying to kill each other?” Devin called out sleepily from his nest of furs.
The world around Fintan snapped back into focus as Airech moved away from him, their startled faces mirroring each other.
“Sorry, Devin. Old habits and all that.” Airech smiled at his own joke, and Fintan found himself smiling back.
With a few muttered words, Airech sent Devin back into a deep sleep. Fintan felt dazed and weak, as if Airech had used magic on him. But Airech looked equally bewildered, his eyes slightly unfocused, his cocky grin not quite as sure as usual. He held out his hand and Fintan hesitated, his emotions at war with each other. Slowly, he reached out and clasped it.
“Whatever our differences, we can overcome them,” Airech said. “There are some things we share. The same feelings. For Devin, I mean,” he added hurriedly.
“For Devin,” Fintan agreed shakily.
Chapter 19
Devin
“Dream about me.”
Fintan’s voice was soft in Devin’s ear. He chased after it, following it down a deep well, and the sudden thud as he struck the bottom jerked him awake. Eyes flickering open, he sat up, his heart thundering as he looked around.
Nothing was familiar.
The room was round, with curving drystone walls. The same grey rock spiralled above his head in circles of decreasing size, capped at the top with a large stone. Two more solid slabs, with another piece resting on top, formed a doorway. Hanging over the opening was a woven brown cloth, and as Devin watched, Fintan nudged it aside and entered.
“Ah, there you are.”
“Where are we?” Devin studied the room. Almost half of the wall was hidden by a semi-circle of curved shelves, bursting with books. In a central pit, the fire glowed a rich yellow-gold. The low couch he was lying on was made from stout poles of wood lashed together, well padded with wool blankets and furs.
Bunches of dried herbs and baskets of various sizes and shapes hung from the walls, and there were more shelves, lined with clay jars. A comfortable-looking chair upholstered in sheepskin was pulled up to a table scattered with rolls of parchment.
“Welcome to my home in the Otherworld,” Fintan said. “Or, I should say, our home. Airech and Cap also stay here, when they’re not roaming.”
“It’s a bit cramped for all three of you, isn’t it?” Devin asked doubtfully. “Especially for Cap.”
Fintan chuckled. “They each have their own clochán, their hut, as living quarters. And we have a communal hut for sleeping and another for bathing. All protected by a ring fort. It’s our version of a tuath, our own small community.”
“So, more traditional sleeping, then,” Devin said with a grin.
“It is warmer.”
“I wish I could remember getting here, but I don’t.”
Blinking, Devin tried to clear the fog from his mind. He’d lost track of how long he’d been suspended in some sort of grey area between consciousness and sleep. One that allowed him to think and feel, but not to open his eyes. He stretched his stiff body. �
�How long have I been out of it?”
“You’ve been under enchantments for three days, but I’ve gradually been lifting them.” Fintan hesitated, his face uncertain. “At the moment, you’re merely asleep.”
Devin was only confused for a minute before he realised.
“I used my dreams to get here.”
“You did. I guided you to this particular place, but travelling to the Otherworld is something you can do without my help.”
“It’s an interesting way to travel. A bit safer than using portals, from what I’ve seen so far.” Not having to dodge malevolent bat-winged creatures seemed to Devin to be a particular advantage.
“In some ways, it’s far more dangerous,” Fintan said. “Another version of your body, your anchor, remains in the other realm, and while it’s there it’s an empty shell, unprotected.”
“So we still have bodies in the cavern, sleeping?”
“Wrapped around each other.” Fintan looked shyly away as a sudden thrill made Devin’s heart beat faster. “How are you feeling?”
Devin wasn’t sure how he felt. For starters, his mother was a deer goddess. It wasn’t something that life prepared you for, in general. And he was willing to admit that seeing her crumble to dust in front of him had been traumatic, even for someone with his perfect track record of being a witness to tragedy.
But the more he considered it, the more he realised that Airech had done the right thing, in fact, the only thing he could have done, in the circumstances. It haunted Devin that his mother had been trapped for so long, and he hadn’t known. Let alone known what to do.
He was thinking it was maybe something she could have mentioned. In a casual, Oh, by the by, son, I’m a deer shifter, type of way. But then, she had no way of knowing she was going to be struck down by an evil curse. That was also on the list of things that most people didn’t have to worry about ever encountering.
“There was nothing you could have done to save your mother. I hope that makes it easier,” Fintan said, his voice tender. “I thought we could search my library for references in the ancient texts to her mother, Sabhdh. Then we’ll know more about you.”
Devin crossed over to the cluttered shelves. The books were all sizes, from huge leather-bound tomes to small cloth-wrapped bundles of paper. Some had their titles embossed on the spine, others were more crudely stitched together. The only book Devin recognised by name was Jane Eyre, except this one was in three volumes and written by someone called Currer Bell.
Fintan looked sheepish. “I rarely venture into your realm, but I did take a liking to the Long Room in Trinity College. There have been a few mysterious book disappearances from there.”
Pinned to one shelf at eye-level was a sketch of a symbol. Four circles overlapping, with another circle weaving through them all, clasping them together. Fintan caught Devin looking.
“In the prophecies, this symbol appears time and time again, in different forms.”
He pointed to each circle in turn. “Myself. Cap. Airech. And another.” His finger traced the middle circle. “And our band, our bond, the chain that binds us.” He smiled ruefully. “Not always without pain.”
Harsh voices echoed faintly in Devin’s head. “I heard you fighting about me. I don’t want to cause trouble between you.”
“It wasn’t our first disagreement and it won’t be our last. Although if it was enough to shake you from your enchantment, it was probably one of our louder ones.”
“I remember Airech saying something. About having to make a sacrifice?”
“It’s a very long story and not mine to tell. But I’ll try giving you a version of it.” Fintan looked thoughtful, his eyes far away. “When Airech and his brothers invaded, Cap’s tribe asked them to retreat to the sea until they themselves were ready for battle. But it was a trick. The Tuatha Dé druids unleashed a mighty storm. The sons of Míl were able to fend off the attack with a rosc, an invocation. But not before many lives were lost.”
“The same one my mom used?” Devin said.
Fintan nodded. “Airech’s older brother, Donn, was enraged. He swore that when they landed he would destroy every man, woman and child, mortal and god alike. Airech couldn’t allow that to happen. He steered their ship into the storm, sinking it. Donn was lost, and Airech with him. Donn became the Dark One, and the place where he died became Tech Duinn, the gate to the afterlife for the souls of their people.”
“And Airech?”
“He stayed faithful to Donn, manning his barge and bringing the souls of the dead to him. Until destiny called him to us.”
Selfless definitely wasn’t the first word that came to Devin’s mind when he thought of the brash, conceited god. He’d been quick to accuse Airech of not bothering to get to know the real him. But maybe Devin was the one who had a whole lot more to learn.
“Don’t mind Airech and his teasing. He finds it frustrating, all the waiting. For our fourth, and for all this to be over.”
Devin stared at the empty circle, the one without a name. “You must have some idea who this fourth should be? If you know enough to know it’s not me.”
“If I’m correct, the fourth member of our band will be a Fomorian.” Fintan tapped the last circle with a neat fingernail. “They were gods who came from the sea to roam the earth from before the time of the Tuatha Dé.”
“And why didn’t they turn up when the three of you did? Where are they now?”
“Between our three tribes, we drove them back to the sea, many centuries ago. We had no choice. They were brutal and bloodthirsty, a threat to us all.” Fintan shook his head sadly. “But we were so efficient at being their enemies, we may have destroyed our future ally. And by default, our future. And yours.”
“And what about the three of you? Why do you think ye were chosen?”
“Ah. I have a theory about that.” Fintan gave a small smile. “I have had a century to think about it. And I believe I’ve discovered the one thing we share. We were all forged in the same way, although at different times and places. It was during a storm that each of us faced down death and became who we are.”
“So you really are storm boys,” Devin breathed. Fintan looked at him curiously, but he didn’t try to explain what he meant. A sudden thought made him start.
“I called you during a storm.”
“That has not escaped me,” Fintan said.
Looking into the god’s eyes, full of quiet sympathy, Devin knew the time had come to accept the truth. He wasn’t only a visitor to this world of gods and magic. It was his world, too. Turning his back on it all and returning to his normal life wasn’t a possibility any longer. Because this was it. His new normal.
That didn’t mean he’d changed his mind about signing himself up for the coming fight against the darkness. Even though the dark forces already seemed to have him on their radar. But he did want to give this new normal a chance. And that meant facing up to the feelings he had for Fintan, and running with them, instead of running away.
“You promised me something,” Devin said softly. Fintan looked at him quizzically.
“Making your clothes disappear. You said you’d show me again. One more time.”
Fintan gave a hesitant smile. “You must be recovering from your ordeal if you’re ready to make a request like that.”
“I know what would really speed my recovery.” Devin gave Fintan a look so naked with longing it made the god turn away.
“Oh, very well.” His eyes still on the ground, Fintan spread out his arms.“Ready?”
As Devin watched, Fintan murmured an incantation and his shirt and jeans faded away.
“I don’t think that will ever get old,” Devin said. ‘No, don’t move,” he added, as Fintan began to stir, “I want to take my time looking at you.”
Devin’s eyes traced every part of Fintan’s body. Starting with his soft gentle face, taking in his slim neck and smooth shoulders. Past his sleek tanned chest and dark nipples to his tight stomach. He paused at the
black hair at the base of his hardening cock, before continuing down his surprisingly hairy legs to his well-formed feet. Reluctantly dragging his eyes back up to Fintan’s face, Devin burst out laughing.
“Are you…blushing?” he asked. “I thought nothing could make you blush anymore.”
Fintan turned an even deeper shade of crimson. “I’ve discovered it is possible, given the right circumstances. Like a beautiful mortal staring at me for minutes at a time.”
“Three-quarters mortal, remember. What about if I do more than stare at you?” Taking a fur off the bed, Devin threw is on the floor, kneeling in front of Fintan. “Is that okay?”
“Anything for you,” Fintan whispered.
Fintan’s cock was fully hard now, rearing up to meet Devin’s hand. His breath catching, he stroked along its length, tracing a vein. He took the weight of Fintan’s balls in his other hand, caressing them, as Fintan sighed.
“Your touch. I’ve never felt the like.”
Devin took his hand off Fintan’s cock long enough to tickle the soft skin of his stomach. “Like this?”
“That’s enjoyable too. Like a spider running over my skin.”
“Well, that is my name.”
“Damhán alla? The literal meaning is fierce little creature. I think that suits you better. That’s what you are.”
“You’re driving me wild right now, that’s for sure.” Leaning forward, Devin ran his tongue along the underside of Fintan’s cock, from the base to the very tip, shivering from the delight of tasting him. He moved to explore his balls, flicking and circling them both. A whimper escaped the god’s lips as Devin took them into his mouth one by one, sucking gently and releasing them. He paused and looked up as Fintan placed a hand on his head, motioning him to stop.
Stroking Devin’s hair, Fintan rub his cheek with a tender finger.
“I never did apologise for scratching your face so terribly,” he said. “I didn’t mean to use such force, but I needed to wake you up.”
“Don’t worry,” Devin reassured him. “Now I’ve seen the Sluagh close up, I understand why.”
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