“You’re asking me to walk away without fulfilling my duty.” Bren’s words were heavy with regret. “You, of all people, know I can’t do that. You gave up everything to fulfil yours. I’ve broken too many rules already, and I think Gabriel’s finished sticking his neck out for me. If I don’t do what I’ve agreed to do, they’ll be no place for me, in either the mortal or immortal realm.”
Snatching up his hand, Airech chased his feelings away, ruthlessly severing their tenuous bond. “Having Devin all to yourself again mightn’t be so bad either,” he said caustically.
“Well, that too,” Bren admitted.
Fintan cleared his throat, and they turned to look at his anxious face. “You’re both forgetting something. The fate of Devin’s soul is not our decision to make. It’s Devin’s. And he must make it soon.”
Bren stirred, pushed himself up, and Airech and Fintan stood to join him.
“Will you give me your word, that you’ll tell Devin the complete truth?” Bren asked. “And if he decides to come with me, you’ll help him? You won’t stand in his way?”
“Don’t worry,” Fintan reassured him. “We’d never hold him against his will. And I’ll make sure Devin fully understands the consequences, whatever he chooses.”
“The trouble is, you don’t fully understand them,” Bren said, his voice strained. “I can’t stop Dev from choosing you all. But I’m fucking terrified you’re doomed to fail. That Airech won’t be able to bind Devin’s soul to his body.”
Airech felt a flash of sudden temper, Bren’s words sparking his indignation.
“And why not?” he demanded.
“Because there’s a problem with his soul. It’s—”
Pounding footsteps interrupted Bren as Cap in his foal form dashed into view, making his way rapidly across the pale rock with Devin on his back. Pulling himself up a few feet away, Cap gave a whicker. He stood as unshakeable as the stones around him, allowing Devin to slide safely to the ground. After one last protective look behind him, Cap shifted into his human form.
“Oh, sure, give him plenty of warning,” Airech muttered. But his annoyance quickly disappeared, swept away by Devin’s ashen face.
“Bren? What are you doing here?”
Airech stepped forward to stand between the two mortals. It dawned on him he felt protective of both of them, and the realisation disturbed him. Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain his balance.
“Bren was about to tell us what was wrong with your soul. Go on, Bren.” He felt something like his old smugness return, compelling him to put Bren at a disadvantage. He almost hated himself, and he definitely hated the fact he had no other choice. Not if he was going to win the battle for Devin’s soul.
“So, you were lying about that too?” Devin rounded on Bren. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”
Shifting his feet, Cap gave a low groan. Airech could see him barely restraining himself from lunging at Bren, as all the things Cap wanted to do to the former angel danced across his outraged face.
Bren didn’t flinch. He stood silently, his expression unreadable.
“What’s wrong with me, Bren?” Devin asked. “Tell me!”
“How about I show you?”
Lunging for Airech, Bren threw his arms around his neck, pulling him close. He felt Bren’s lips crushing his, kissing him feverishly. He was vaguely aware of Cap springing towards them with a frenzied cry and Fintan’s muttered words halting the ferocious god mid-step, binding him with invisible ties of magic.
The warm nectar of pure pleasure soaked through Airech, making his body quiver. He willed himself to fight against it, but before he could break away, Bren pulled back, releasing him.
Breathless, Airech shot a wary glance at Devin, his conflicted feelings turning his stomach sour. Devin stood dazed, confusion clouding his face as he held a hand to his lips.
“I… I felt that,” he whispered.
“You want to know what’s wrong with you?” Bren faced Devin. “Airech was right about your soul. There’s a piece missing.”
“And I take it you know where it is?” Fintan’s ancient eyes were diamond-hard, for once offering no comfort.
“I think you already know the answer to that one, wise man,” Bren said. “I keep it here, inside me.”
“Let me see.” Airech held out his hand, and Bren clasped it. His skin was as soft as Airech remembered, forcing him to suppress a shiver. Bren gave the smallest of nods, and Airech saw his pupils widen in an invitation. Without hesitating, he plunged into their depths with his dark gaze, feeling his way carefully. He sought out the missing piece of Devin’s soul, his own soul leading him straight to it. One touch had him staggering back, recoiling.
The first time I read him… it all makes sense now.
Dropping Bren’s hand, he snapped his eyes shut, cleaving their minds apart.
Slowly, Airech opened them again, finding himself bombarded by confused looks. From everyone except Bren, whose eyes wouldn’t meet his any longer.
“It’s not inside Bren,” Airech said. “It’s his soul.”
Chapter 30
Devin
Fintan took a hurried step in front of Cap, shielding Bren from another sudden charge. Watching them, Devin was torn. He was surrounded by practically everyone he cared about, all standing within touching distance of each other. It was gut-wrenching to see any conflict between them. Especially knowing he was the cause of it.
Rushing to Cap, he reached up and rubbed his wide back with a soothing hand. “It’s alright, my little pony. He’s not worth eating. No meat on those bones.” He calmed Fintan and Airech with a look.
“Could you lads give us a minute? I want to talk to Bren alone.”
“Devin, I’m not sure that is the wisest—”
“Fintan, I’ll be okay.”
The god regarded Devin gravely. “Don’t be long. We have many things to discuss, and not much time.” He placed a firm hand on Cap’s arm, leading him away. With one last thunderous scowl in Bren’s direction, Cap jumped in the water beside Fintan, causing a mini tidal wave that slapped at the surrounding rocks.
Nodding at Devin, Airech approached Bren with a reluctant smile.
“I won’t wish you luck, for obvious reasons. But, once again, it’s been… interesting, Rael.”
Bren grimaced. “Tonight’s not going to be easy on any of us. I’m not the angel I used to be. Too many Mikado biscuits.”
“You look fine to me.” Pausing at the edge of the pool, Airech glanced back at Bren. “If you have a change of heart, for old times’ sake. You know where to find me.”
With a sudden leap, his graceful body arced through the air, sliding under the water, his clean dive hardly disturbing the surface.
Airech’s parting words lingered in Devin’s head, flaring his curiosity. The god and Bren seemed to have come a long way from their early antagonism. But then, they did have a history, even if it was an ancient one.
“It’s still strange to think of you and Airech having a thing.”
Frowning, Bren shifted uncomfortably, unable to meet Devin’s eyes. “We didn’t have a thing. Rael and Airech had a thing. A very brief, one-night thing.”
“Semantics,” Devin shot back, almost smiling. His fingers grazed his mouth, remembering the sudden feeling of pressure on his lips, reliving the surge of intense longing.
“Does it work the other way around?” he asked. “Can you feel it when I—”
“No, thank the heavens,” Bren interrupted him quickly. “It’s your soul. That’s why you feel it.”
Noticing Bren’s reddening cheeks, Devin’s mind lit up with sudden understanding. “That’s why you’ve never… all this time.”
“I never found anyone I was interested in, anyway. But you’re right. If I’d gotten involved with someone, it would have made things complicated.”
“I’d like to know what isn’t fucking complicated about having a piece of someone’s soul.” Devin gave a small shudder. �
�You do realise it’s all kinds of creepy?”
Bren winced, and Devin was shaken by an unexpected charge of sympathy.
“It was only temporary,” Bren said quietly. “I was always planning to give it back when I became an angel again.”
“Why take it at all?”
“Airech’s probably already guessed why. And if you give me a chance to explain, I’ll tell you.”
Everything Bren had ever shared with him, even Bren himself, was based on a deception, born from lies. But Devin couldn’t help clinging stubbornly at hope, the same way his fourteen-year-old self had clutched at the rock wall on his desperate scramble down the cliff path. Willing everything to be alright, against all odds. He ran a restless hand through his blond waves, waiting for Bren to go on.
“I think I already told you that I was created. You don’t die and become an angel. You’re made that way. I’ve never had a mortal soul, and you can’t become human without one. And my boss, Gabriel, needed me to be human, to stay close to you. To make sure no one else was affected by my decision to let you live.”
Confusion knitted Devin’s brows. “Why not go ahead and give you one?”
“It would have broken all the rules. And I’d already broken about a million of them. Arranging a shiny new soul meant letting other angels in on our secret, and there was no way Gabriel was agreeing to that. He didn’t want any trouble. So he did something else.” Bren’s eyes glittered with unshed tears. “I begged him not to do it, Dev. You have to believe me.”
“Not to do what?”
“He took a shard of your soul, while you were lying there, half-drowned. Later that night, he used it to birth me. Not just any piece. He chose very carefully,” Bren added bitterly.
Devin’s heart dipped. “Go on.”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“I think we’re a bit beyond the point where that matters.”
“The sliver he gave to me was the one part that would tie you to someone else forever, that would have you searching for your one true other, your soul mate.” Bren took a shuddering breath. “He knew exactly what he was doing. It meant I was your devoted slave, my whole mortal existence revolving around you. And you—”
“Wouldn’t want my life to revolve around anyone.” A sudden sweat drenched Devin, chilling his crawling skin. “Are you sure he’s an angel, not a demon?”
“He’s old school.” Bren smiled grimly. “Most people seem to have forgotten angels were designed to fight in the apocalypse. Not to be life coaches or festive decorations.”
Bren’s voice came to Devin through a long, murky tunnel. The world around him blurred, filtered through smudged glass. He vaguely felt Bren’s reassuring hold on his elbow as the darkness descended, his voice muffled as he struggled to speak.
“I guess I always knew I was broken.”
“But do you not get it, Dev?”
Devin’s shoulders moved instinctively into the protective curve of Bren’s arm as his friend drew him close.
“He thought he was taking away your need to love anyone. But what he did was take away your need to love only one,” Bren said. “He made you capable of being soul mates with more than one person.”
The black cloud began to lift, and the first thing Devin saw was Bren’s eyes shining at him, the deep blue of a starlit sky.
“He didn’t break your soul. He freed it. If anything, he made it bigger.” Breaking his hold, Bren took a step back. “But if you want, I can give my piece back to you. I’d do that, for you.”
“What? Right here, right now?”
“If that’s what you want.”
The slight tremble in Bren’s voice made Devin’s muscles tense.
“And where would that leave you?” he asked suspiciously. “Would you turn back into an angel?”
Bren paused. “Not exactly,” he said finally. “I’m mortal right now. If I lost my soul, I’d…ah…”
“Die.”
“Sort of.”
“Like, straight away? You’d fall dead at my feet?”
“Kinda.”
“How can you joke about something like that?” Devin’s tone was savage, as wild as the outrage clawing at him.
“I’m deadly serious. Excuse the pun.”
“I couldn’t do that to anyone,” Devin raged. “I’m not a monster.” Seeing the devastation his words caused Bren, Devin tried to soften their sting. “And neither are you.”
“I thought you might be funny about it. But I had to give you the choice.”
“Keep it.” Devin swung a half-hearted punch at Bren’s bicep in a pale imitation of their old mock fights. “Sure, if I got it back, it might want me to choose between all of you. And you know how bad I am at making decisions.”
As Bren’s face fell even further, Devin’s insides plummeted in sympathy.
“What is it?”
“You still have a few decisions to make. Airech will explain it to you. You’re in a bit of bother, Dev. What they call grave danger.”
Devin’s eyes narrowed. “And, are you the danger?”
“I wouldn’t blame you for thinking I am,” Bren said with a sad smile. “But no, I’ll be fighting it. So will your precious storm boys. The Sluagh are coming for you. Tonight. And this time they won’t be breaking any laws if they take you. As I said, Airech will explain it. There are other things too… but I think it would be better if you heard it from him. You’re a bitteen too angry with me right now.”
The hope Devin had been clinging to by his fingertips swelled, becoming something he could hold on to with both hands.
“You’re planning on fighting the Sluagh together?”
“Separately,” Bren said reluctantly, making Devin’s newfound faith crumble. “We have very different ideas of how it should go down. I know it won’t be easy Dev, but it’s time for you to pick a side. Ask Fintan, he’ll lay it all out for you.”
Devin didn’t want to believe Bren’s matter-of-fact assessment. After all, Bren had been willing to bend the truth to suit his own ends for as long as he’d known him. Those ends might have included protecting Devin, but he wasn’t sure that justified the means. Or that he could trust Bren now.
“I can’t force you to come with me.” Moving closer, Bren lifted a lock of Devin’s hair, exposing the delicate skin behind his ear. He slid his fingertip along it, making Devin’s stomach twist. “But if you choose them, please make sure it’s because that’s what you want. Don’t stay with them because you’re angry with me.”
Reaching up, Devin stilled Bren’s hand, closing his over it. “If I do stay with them, where does that leave us?”
“It leaves us with goodbye. It’s goodbye anyway. Rael will be coming back in a few hours and then Bren won’t exist anymore.”
“Why can’t you fight with us?” Devin laced his fingers in Bren’s. He remembered the picture that had flashed through his head that day on the beach. The one of them walking down the main street, hand in hand. But that’d only been a fantasy, one that was doomed to stay that way.
“I have a destiny, Dev, the same as they do. I don’t have a choice.”
“I thought that piece of my soul makes you give me what I want,” Devin said, his voice quiet with despair.
Bren’s fingers tightened on Devin’s hand. “Not what you want. What you need.”
“And what if I need all four of you?”
Bren didn’t answer. After another quick squeeze, he untangled his long fingers, shaking himself free.
“What are you going to do?” Devin asked.
“I don’t know,” Bren replied. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
“That’s a first.”
Bren struggled to respond to Devin’s wry smile, failing miserably. Turning, he began to make his way back towards the road, his auburn hair catching the sun and his usual sure-footed steps uneven on the pockmarked stone. Devin felt colder with each step that carried him further away.
“Bren, wait!”
&nb
sp; His cry jerked Bren to a sudden stop. He spun around, his expression guarded.
“If my soul had never been broken…” Devin struggled to speak, his voice strangled and thin. “…Do you think I’d be different? Better?”
Bren’s face softened. “I already told you,” he said. “There was never anything wrong with you, to me.”
“I know. But I’m talking objectively.”
Devin held his breath, waiting anxiously, watching the conflicting emotions duelling on his old friend’s face. Finally, Bren spoke. “Since you asked, do you remember, the morning after the storm, when we were talking? Something happened between us?”
Even if Devin had somehow forgotten, the tingling sensation washing over him when he thought back to that morning would have made him remember. He nodded.
“I was checking on your soul, and I slipped up,” Bren said. “The two pieces sensed each other, and they slammed together before I could stop them. For those few seconds, your soul was complete. And ever since then, you have seemed different.”
Devin recognised that moment. That was when every part of him had woken up, as if from a long sleep. There’d been no fairy tale kiss, but something had made him open his eyes.
“That’s when I realised how I felt about… us.” Devin stared at Bren, frowning. “Does that mean, if I could have had the one soul mate, it would have been you?”
“You don’t know how fucking tempted I am to say yes, Dev,” Bren said hoarsely. “But that can’t be true. If your soul had never been broken, there would have been no Bren.”
Devin felt his heart being fed through a shredder, taking its secrets with it. However much he tried, he couldn’t piece all his conflicted emotions together in a way that made sense.
“I want to believe in you. I want to trust you. But all those years, when you were looking out for me. Being there for me. I’ll never know how much of it was real,” he said desperately. “If you were really my friend, or if that piece of my soul was telling you what to do.”
“That’s fair enough. I get it.” Bren’s face was calm, his voice resigned. He started to walk away again, and Devin watched him go. He was nearly at the road when he turned around, shouting into the sky, his words faint by the time they reached Devin.
Storm Boys Page 19
