Path of Thieves

by Sunniva Dee

  I move so I can touch her nose with mine. I tell her things. Pretty things. But while I do, I wiggle the pack of condoms above us, eyeing its impenetrability from all sides. I whisper to my girl that I don’t want to hurt her.

  “Oh don’t worry, Cugs. You won’t hurt me.”

  I lay down next to her. “No, it’s going to hurt. You know that, right? The first time always does for the girl.”

  Nadine’s eyes shine from what we have done. Her cheeks are pink too, the blood streaming to her skin from my touch. I bite my lip, unable to take in everything that she is. Until she replies, “Yeah, but only the first time.”

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been flopped on my back with a hand over my forehead. I’m being irrational. She never asked me if I’ve had sex, and I didn’t ask her. I guess I just assumed we’d have this first together.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers again, and I twist my head away.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  She’s been with someone else. I never thought that would matter to me. In the right mood, the guys and I even boast that we prefer experienced girls. But here I am feeling goddamn somber. What’s wrong with me?

  “I know, but you’re sad.” She rests her hand on my stomach. I can’t cover it with my own like I usually do. I hate that it makes her sigh. “Cugs. He means nothing to me. It was just puppy love.”

  “Right, s’all good.” I inhale sharply, a futile attempt at taking my words back.

  “He was a good guy. I mean, we dated for a year. My first time was nice.”

  Stop! That doesn’t make me feel any better.

  I’m a jerk. Of course I want her first time to have been good even if it wasn’t with me. Don’t I?

  I sit up. “Can we not talk about this anymore? I’m hungry. You want breakfast?” I push a kiss to her lips, but it’s quick and when I draw back, I see moisture in her eyes.

  “No, I’m okay.” She bites her lip like I did when everything was fine and we were moments from being together for the first time. I was going to do my best, give her a memory with me, her boyfriend. With me, the thief. With me, the worthless son of a burglar.

  Good for her that it happened with her puppy love.

  “Maybe I’ll have some tea. I can make it myself,” she murmurs.

  In the kitchen, I jack my voice up to normal volume. I’d like for Bear and Liza to get up too. I’m not a conversationalist, not when all I want is to undo the last thirty minutes. “Do you want black tea or the peachy one Liza brought?”

  Nadine hides in a curtain of hair. “Black sounds good.”

  I rummage in the small cabinet, cups clanging, one falling out. I save it in the air with a frustrated huff. “I’m an asshole. I just...” I shake my head, unsure of how to go on. She doesn’t look at me. Ah is she mad?

  I exhale my pride and haul her in. She lets me, but her back is rejection against my chest. “Nadine, please, I get it. People do things with other people, and I’m a self-absorbed prick, and you don’t deserve to have someone like me around.”

  “Cugs.”

  “Uh-huh.” I let go to rake a hand through my hair. If a rotten board gave, I’d be fine with the floor swallowing me.

  “You’ve never gone all the way with someone?”

  “No.”

  “How did that happen?”

  I snap toward her. “That’s your question right now? Because how did it happen that you have?” Whoa, I am a jealous bastard.

  She turns in my arms, eyes big and furious and so damn beautiful.

  “Did you really just say that?” Nadine’s voice is too glossy as her fingertips dig into my sides. She wants me to let go, but I can’t, not without trying.

  “No! No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.” I slide my gaze back to her. “Are you?”

  “Am I what?” Rage can make eyes simmer.

  “Are you sorry?”

  “Sorry for what, for having a life before you? Nope. I am who I am thanks to life, and I don’t regret a thing.” Thunder has never looked more beautiful.

  “No. For implying that I should’ve slept with someone before you.”

  Nadine’s mouth opens. She forms words, but they don’t come out. Finally, her lips close, and slowly the storm in her eyes quiets to a velvety chocolate mousse.

  I reach for her. Tangle our fingers and tug her against the kitchen counter. She trips, lands in my arms with a hushed gasp, and I squeeze her tight. “While my friends partied, I was busy robbing the rich blind on the weekends. That’s why I didn’t have time for girls. I’m glad you were up to something nicer. Please forgive me for being a jealous dick.”

  “I am,” she whispers.

  “You’re what?”

  “I’m sorry, very sorry. And I’m an idiot.”

  I let out this huff of a laugh. It’s wet with relief, and I find her mouth, melding us there and making us sound wetter.

  “Are you guys fighting or making up?” Bear asks, voice bleary. He’s got rabbits on his night shirt too. They’re blue and bigger than the cottontails on Nadine’s tank top.

  “Oh geez, you look ridiculous,” I say. He widens his pajamas pants into a make-believe skirt. The colors match. There’s a fox theme on them? “Geez, man. Poor rabbits.”

  “Is that what Liza bought for the trip?” Nadine studies the pattern too.

  “Yup. She says it’s my style. I don’t know.”

  “Sad,” I say. “I hope she made it up to you.”

  His expression brightens considerably as he opens his mouth for some affirmative TMI.

  “Nadine and I need a moment,” I hurry out before it’s too late.

  “Oh.” He lifts his hands, backing up. “You were fighting. I interrupted.” He backs into his love suite, but before he shuts the door, he swivels on his heels, magician-style. “Five minutes? I need coffee hard.”

  I nod him off.

  Nadine and I have seen each other regularly since I broke into her house, but there appears to be a difference between once-a-week dates and being together for twenty-four hours straight. One learns things about people. One learns things about girls.

  This particular specimen is not just smart and forgiving. She’s got sass, and judging by last night’s performance for the police, she’s brave too. A current of guilt runs through me at the last thought. Nadine should never have to be brave because of me.

  “Where were we?” Her voice is calm.

  “You tell me.”

  “Are you still jealous?” She jabs the sword right in. I want to defend myself, but I’ve only got apologies. This couple thing was never on my to-do list, and now I’ve gone further than that; I’m freaking possessive.

  “Of course not. What are you talking about? Let’s all have breakfast. Call in the troupes.” I release a counterfeit smile.

  “Okay.” She leans into me. Her irises are back to that wild toffee color, the one that makes me swell. Nadine cups my face, reaching my earlobes with her fingers. “I just want you to know something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Come here.” She pulls me toward the living room. Then she seats herself and wants me next to her. I oblige and let her place my hands, one arm around her waist and the other around her neck. It reminds me of going to the photographer’s. The last time I did that was in Rigita. “I told you how my first time was with my ex-boyfriend.”

  “You did.”

  “Well, Hans and I were—”

  “Hans?” I grumble it out and cross my arms over my chest, because who’s named Hans anymore? Some Viking from the ancient ages? Did she time-travel to find him?

  She wiggles a hand in between mine. “As I said, I don’t regret what happened between us. He was nice—”

  “Nadine, I’m good. You don’t have to tell me any more.” Please don’t.

&nbs
p; “Well, I just wanted you to know that as nice as he was, he’s nothing like you to me.”

  “What did you say?” My pitch tips up, and she lets out a quiet laugh.

  “Hans wasn’t you. For me, you’re it.”

  “It.” My brain has gone on vacation, and I suddenly lack full sentences. All I can do is repeat what hits me in the sternum and creates a lit-up vacuum beneath it.

  “Cugs, I know we haven’t talked about loving each other or anything, but I’m pretty sure that I love you.”

  The light climbs from my chest to my throat. I want to swallow it. For her, I shouldn’t fess up, but I can’t seem to hold back a discreet, “Same here.”

  A flicker in her gaze shows that she’s heard me. “I wish we were in bed now, all the way together in that last, big, huge way. I wish we hadn’t fought.”

  “Come here.” I rest her along my side. This is how everything feels better. Warm and soft, she fits into the hollow beneath my arm, the weight of her head comforting against my shoulder. “You want to know something funny?”

  “Yeah, funny’s good.”

  “I felt bad for not having any full-contact experience, so I’ve studied stuff specifically for us.”

  “Oh yeah? Like what?”

  “I’ve read stuff. Might’ve been practicing too.”

  Her head shifts against me, and I look down to find a crevice between her brows. “You’ve been practicing with someone?”

  “Not with someone. With something. Let’s just say I didn’t just watch porn on the internet. I’m a hands-on pro at putting on rubbers too. As for the sex, I’ve memorized parts that looked good for the women.”

  “Eww, Cugs!” Her expression vacillates between disgust and outrage, and I instantly feel great. Will it ever get old to disgust girls? It doesn’t matter if it’s with earthworms at the age of six or watching porn at eighteen.

  “There was this one video where a guy had his girlfriend upside down, butt in the air, and—”

  “Ew! Stop it.” She shudders, and I dive in and kiss her. She squirms at first, but then she gives in, arms hesitantly going around my neck.

  “Oh good. Look at that, babe,” Bear rumbles. “The pigeons have made up.”

  “It’s not pigeons. They’re, like, turtle doves. Mornin’, kids.”

  “We’re turtle doves?” Nadine tucks her feet under a crappy seat cushion.

  “Yeah, or love birds, you know. You’re very cute.” Liza cocks her head and studies us with Bear moving up behind her. A head and a half taller, he crouches to nestle his chin against her head.

  “Aww, yeah, looky how cuute.”

  “Shut up,” I say. “Breakfast?”

  “Sure thing.”

  The girl on the mattress in this crappy little shack loves me even though everything is out in the open: not only does she know that I steal for a living. She also knows that I have no experience with girls. To top it off, she’s forgiven me for my jealousy—and I’m so hard I can’t even think straight.

  “Isn’t this weird though? Everyone’s awake, and all we have is a wall between us.” Nadine’s eyes shimmer in the late afternoon glow.

  “No, not weird. Nice.” I cup her side and stroke down to her hip. “We’re all friends, right? We’re in this together.”

  “Cugs, ugh, my mind went in a totally different direction.”

  “Ha, sorry, I just mean that the last thing I’ll be thinking about is Liza and Bear on the other side of the wall, and I know for a fact they won’t be worrying about us either.”

  “I guess.”

  “It’s just you and me in here.”

  “Interesting, because that’s exactly how it was this morning when you wanted to get up and be pissy and have breakfast instead. Only difference, Bear and Liza were asleep.” She smiles though, turning stabs into ribbing. Her thigh is so smooth.

  “Did I mention that I’m sorry about that?” I think my hard-on just made my voice husky.

  “Once or twice.” And her voice might’ve reacted to mine, because it’s never been breathier. She lets me lower her panties.

  “Glad you remember.” I can’t stop tasting her mouth. “Can we do this? Are you ready?”

  She nods against the pillow, eyes liquid with emotion. I reach for the box. It’s already clawed open thanks to a dull kitchen knife, so I bring a foil packet up between us to my mouth.

  “Careful, Cugs! What if you break it and I get pregnant?”

  I snort. “You’re jinxing us. Don’t do that.”

  “Oh my god, babies.”

  “Shh, I promise I won’t break it. I’ve practiced, remember? I could do this in my sleep.”

  She whisper-laughs about wasted time and money, but then she’s bare and incredible, and all the blood has left my brain and congregated down low and my ears don’t work anymore. I wrap myself on autopilot. I do it fast because I’m a total pro. Suddenly, I have no air in my lungs.

  I caress her, feeling how she reacts to my touch. I’m doubting all the pictures in my head, because chicks aren’t all the same. What one girl loves, maybe others hate? “Should I be on top now, or under? Or do you want to— What do you want? I’ll do anything.”

  Nadine has mercy. Slowly, she forms to me. Soft against my chest, she pushes me down, hands cupping my cheeks, and I hold her face right back as our bodies align.

  My vocal cords vibrate when she presses me inside of her. So easy. So quickly. It’s everything I hoped and couldn’t imagine. I open my eyes and stare into Nadine’s. Devour the small hiss that escapes from her mouth.

  I’m hungry, ravenous. She’s all that I want, my meal, but then I am hers. She takes. She gives. She breathes. She tastes. Arms around her, I crush her tight while we move. I need to gorge myself on us.

  Oh god.

  “I can’t. Anymore.” My whisper is a stutter.

  “I know.” She moves again though, killing me. “Later, we’ll take our time.”

  When I listen and let go of her hips, it’s with my mouth against her ear. “Nadine. I love you.”

  “I’ll only be gone for a week or two.”

  “What? Two weeks versus one is double or nothing.” I sound pouty.

  “Just double. But yeah, it depends on the baptism of my youngest cousin.” Nadine hasn’t shifted from my arms, and I don’t ever want to let go. They say guys fall asleep after what we just did, but how do you fall asleep when you’ve been in Heaven and never even left?

  I don’t want to leave.

  I don’t want her to leave.

  “Summer’s going to suck.”

  “I’ll be back.”

  I push my lips against her ear. “For how long? You’re leaving in the fall anyway.”

  Her stomach quavers with laughter under my hand. It makes me smile despite myself.

  “There are planes and trains and, hey, wrecks,” she says.

  “Uh-huh, the wreck loves Tom the Mechanic more than it loves me.”

  “Well, I love you, so there’s that.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, still. I know it’s been all of five minutes, but that hasn’t changed.”

  “You’re amazing. I’ll never forget you.” I waggle my brows.

  “Not even when I leave the south?”

  “And now she’s being mean.”

  “Sorry.” She bites her lip, impish, but then her amusement fades. “Cugs.” She slides out of my arms, and I groan with discomfort.

  “What?”

  “Look at me.”

  My eyes lift to her no-nonsense attention. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “Do me a favor.” She sighs, and I already know it won’t be good. “Get out from under your father, okay? Please work on it. He’s had you for too long, and I really would rather...”

  What she implies is easy in the
world of privileged. I’m glad she doesn’t finish her sentence, because what would she rather? Is there an ultimatum here? I can’t do them. “Baby. It’s all I think about.”

  “I can’t.”

  “But please, Cugs.”

  Is this what all boyfriends go through? Either way, I feel like my reasons to evade Nadine’s house are damn valid compared to most. For me, it’s not just about meeting the parents. It’s about returning to the scene of the crime. Not any old crime either, but a pivotal one, because I pulled Nadine down with me.

  She could’ve returned to her law-abiding puppy-love guy with an awesome future if it weren’t for me being “it” to her. Yes, I feel bad sometimes. And no, I don’t always feel bad. Because most of the time I’m an asshole who thinks that I’m a lucky bastard for meeting her.

  “Just come,” she says now, on the phone. “I get that you don’t want to meet my parents. But they’re nice and you’re nice too, and you guys would totally hit it off.”

  “I shopped from them.”

  “Stole. You didn’t shop.”

  “Right.” Same difference.

  “But that’s over and done with. We’ve got great insurance, and you actually made them a few bucks.”

  “Wow. That makes shopping better in your world?”

  “It’s not shopping, Cugs. And nope, it’s messed up, but you always bottle stuff up, and I need you to at least let this go.”

  I thump to the mattress of my bed.

  “Cugs? You there?”

  “Uh-huh. How about fight night instead?”

  She huffs. “I want to show you something. I wanted it to be a surprise too, until you could see it in person, but you’re making it freaking hard.”

  I groan and press two fingers against my forehead. “When were you thinking?”

  “You’re free tomorrow during the day, right?”