His New Nanny

by Carla Cassidy

  She turned away from the window and eyed her packed suitcase. It was time to go. She’d awakened that morning and realized she couldn’t spend another day here.

  In the past ten days, life in the Bennett house had found a comforting normalcy, and Amanda had no place. Melanie had her voice, and Sawyer had his freedom, and there was nothing more Amanda could do except tell them goodbye and get on with her own life.

  Sawyer had been attentive and caring since the attack, but there had been nothing between them that had crossed the line of employee and employer.

  Melanie, knowing that the swamp monster had been caught and put into jail, was coming out of her shell, eager to spend time with her friends and looking forward to school in the fall.

  Staying here would be torture. Amanda had made the mistake of falling in love with Sawyer, and she could no longer be his nanny and occasional convenient bed partner. She needed more. She deserved more.

  She had come here seeking some redemption for Bobby’s suicide and in many ways she’d found it. She’d realized that she’d done everything she could have possibly done for Bobby, and it wasn’t her fault that it wasn’t enough. It had been a tragedy…just like Lillian was a tragedy.

  She’d been a woman driven by demons Amanda couldn’t begin to understand. Erica might have been a shallow thrill seeker but Lillian had been a different monster altogether.

  Grabbing her suitcase, she drew a deep breath for what lay ahead. She’d given Sawyer and Melanie no warning that she was leaving today. She’d known that saying goodbye would be more difficult for her than facing death at Lillian’s hands in the middle of the dark swamp.

  As she walked down the stairs, the sound of Melanie’s laughter and Buddy’s sharp yips of excitement drifted in through the French doors. She was comforted by the sound. Melanie was going to be just fine. Sawyer was a sensitive, caring father and he would see to it that she was okay.

  When she reached the study door, she dropped her suitcase on the floor just outside, then stepped in. Sawyer was seated at his desk and looked up, his lips curving into a smile that shot straight to her heart.

  “Hey, you,” he said, then frowned. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded, swallowing against the thick emotion that suddenly rose up in her throat. “I…I’m leaving.”

  “Okay, when will you be back?”

  “I mean, I’m leaving for good.”

  He shot out of the chair and came around the desk to face her, confusion darkening his eyes. “What do you mean leaving for good? What’s going on, Amanda?”

  She’d known it was going to be hard, but his concern made it even more difficult than she’d imagined. “You don’t need me anymore. Melanie doesn’t need me. You’ve got your life back, Sawyer. You’re going to be working here during the days, and in the fall Melanie will go back to school.”

  “But that doesn’t mean we don’t need you,” he protested. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and the familiar touch, the scent of his cologne, forced tears to her eyes.

  She blinked them away and stepped back, forcing him to drop his arms to his sides. “I can’t stay, Sawyer.” She couldn’t look at him, but rather stared at the wall just over his left shoulder. “I’ve made the incredible mistake of falling in love with you.” She looked at him then and saw the stricken look on his face.

  “Amanda…I…”

  She held up a hand to stop whatever he was about to say. “Please, it’s my problem, not yours. So much has happened in your life while I’ve been here. I never expected anything from you but a job, and I don’t expect anything now.” The tears she had tried so hard to suppress now fell freely down her cheeks. “Just let me go, Sawyer. I need to find my own life now.”

  His face displayed a dozen emotions but finally settled on one of resignation, an acceptance that broke what was left of her heart. It wasn’t until that moment that she realized she’d hoped for something different. Someplace in the back of her ever-optimistic mind, she’d hoped that he’d take her in his arms and tell her he loved her, that he couldn’t live without her.

  “You going back to Kansas City?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I called Johnny this morning and told him I’d be home sometime tomorrow evening. I’ll stay with him until I can get an apartment and take my things out of storage.”

  “Melanie will be upset.”

  “Only for a short time,” she replied. “I’ll do my best to make it okay with her. Children are resilient, and besides, she has a wonderful father who will get her through any rough patches.” She tried to offer him a smile, but once again felt the press of hot tears. “I’ll just go tell her goodbye now.”

  She fled from the office where they had spent so much time together and headed for the French doors. She nodded to Helen, who sat at the patio table. She and Helen had talked for a long time two days earlier. Amanda had apologized for suspecting Helen, and Helen had graciously accepted the apology.

  “Melanie, I need to talk to you,” Amanda said. “Can you put Buddy on his leash for a minute and let Helen hang on to him?”

  “Okay.” It took the little girl only a couple of minutes to get the rambunctious puppy under control and hand the leash to Helen, then she raced to Amanda and looked up at her expectantly.

  It was going to be every bit as difficult telling Melanie goodbye as it had been telling Sawyer. Amanda crouched down so she was eye level with Melanie. “Honey, it’s time for me to leave.”

  The smile that had lifted the corners of Melanie’s lips disappeared. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home, back to Kansas City.”

  Melanie hugged Amanda, her little body warm as she pressed closer. “When will you be back?”

  “I don’t think I’m coming back.”

  Melanie’s dark brown eyes radiated disbelief. “Yes, you are. You have to come back ’cause I love you. Daddy and I need you here with us.” She wrapped her arms around Amanda’s neck.

  “You and your daddy are going to be just fine without me,” Amanda replied as she hugged Melanie tight. “Now you have Buddy, and we both know he’s a smart, good dog.”

  “I love Buddy, but I love you, too,” Melanie exclaimed as she tightened her arms around Amanda’s neck.

  “We can write and e-mail each other every day.” Amanda fought against her own tears. “And I’ll call you as often as you want.”

  “I don’t want to write or e-mail you. I don’t want to talk to you on the phone. I want you here!” Melanie’s voice grew thick with tears as Sawyer stepped out onto the patio.

  Melanie pulled herself from Amanda’s arms and ran directly to her father. “Make her stay, Daddy. Tell her not to go.”

  Sawyer scooped her up in his arms and hugged her to his chest. “I can’t make her stay, Melanie. Amanda has to go on with her life.”

  Amanda stood, the finality of his words thrumming through her. It was time to go. The more quickly she left, the less painful the goodbye. She said nothing more but left the patio, went back inside and grabbed her suitcase, then walked out the front door.

  Within minutes she was in her car driving away from the Bennett house and Conja Creek. The landscape flew by in a mist of tears. She hadn’t realized how much she’d begun to think of Sawyer’s house as home until now as she left. She hadn’t realized just how deeply woven into her heart he and Melanie had been until now as her heart unraveled.

  You can get through this, she told herself and tightened her fingers around the steering wheel. She was strong. That night with Lillian in the woods she’d recognized just how strong she could be.

  She would rebuild a life in Kansas City. She’d no longer hide in her apartment, afraid of what people might say as they speculated on her relationship with Bobby. She knew she’d done nothing wrong and she would hold her head high.

  Eventually maybe she’d find love again, but she knew no man would ever be able to touch her as Sawyer had. She couldn’t even be bitter or angry that he hadn’t r
eally loved her. She’d simply come along at the wrong time in his life.

  She’d been driving for about twenty minutes when she looked in her rearview mirror and saw a police car behind her, the cherry lights on top flashing. A glance at her speedometer made her realize she’d been speeding.

  Terrific, she’d not only be leaving Louisiana with a broken heart, but was probably going to carry away a speeding ticket, as well.

  She pulled over to the side of the road, watching in her mirror as the police car parked just behind her. She grabbed her purse from the seat next to her and dug into it for her driver’s license, then rolled down her window to face the policeman.

  “Lucas!” she said in surprise as he appeared at the window.

  “I need you to get out of the car, Amanda.”

  “Get out of the car?” She looked at him in confusion. Why would he need her to get out of the car for a speeding ticket? And wasn’t this somewhat out of his jurisdiction?

  “Please, out of the car.” He didn’t offer her a smile.

  “I know I was maybe speeding a little. Is something else wrong?” she asked as she opened the door and stepped out. Maybe this was normal procedure in these parts of the country. She held out her driver’s license, but he ignored it.

  “You want to step back to my car?”

  “Lucas, please. What’s going on?” she asked as she walked with him to his car. “Has something happened? Is something wrong?” Panic torched up inside her as she thought of Sawyer and Melanie.

  “It’s kind of an emergency,” Lucas replied, and she noticed there was a definite sparkle in his eyes. He opened the back door and motioned her inside.

  Sawyer sat in the backseat. She hesitated a moment, then climbed in next to him. Lucas slammed the door closed and leaned against the car as if he had nothing better to do than park on the side of the highway and watch the grass grow.

  “Sawyer, what’s going on?” she asked. “Is Melanie okay?”

  “She’s fine. Forgive the drama, but after you left I realized there were some things I hadn’t said to you. I knew I’d have a hard time catching up with you on the road. You had too big a head start, so I went to Lucas and told him it was vital that we catch up with you.”

  She stared at him, trying to absorb his presence here. “What things did you not say to me?” she asked, her heart beating with an unsteady rhythm.

  His green eyes held her gaze intently, then he laughed softly. “You are some piece of work, Amanda Rockport. You flew in at the worst possible time of my life and brought a calm sanity and a steadfast belief in me that I desperately needed.”

  So, he wanted to thank her? Was that why he was here? Because he’d forgotten to thank her before she’d walked out of his life?

  In the close quarters of the backseat of the patrol car, her senses swam with him. His cologne eddied in the air, and the heat from his body evoked memories of being held in his arms.

  “If you stopped me because you forgot to say thank-you, then you’re welcome,” she said stiffly. All she wanted to do was throw herself in his arms, but she refused to humiliate herself that way. She’d already bared her heart to him. There was nothing else for her to say.

  “No, that’s not why I’m here, although I’ll always be grateful to you. But this has nothing to do with gratitude.” His eyes darkened slightly. “You shocked me, leaving so quickly without any warning. I hadn’t had a chance to sort through my feelings for you. I thought we’d have more time together.”

  She didn’t say anything because she didn’t know what to say. He knew how she felt about him, but she still didn’t know why he was here.

  He reached out and took her hand, and she wondered if he was somehow trying to torture her? But she didn’t pull her hand away, couldn’t, even if she wanted to. Instead she twined her fingers with his.

  “At first I thought my feelings for you were nothing but gratitude. You’d saved my sanity and, more important, you’d put your life on the line to keep Lillian from taking my daughter. Then I thought what I felt for you was nothing more than passion. Making love with you was incredible.”

  She wanted to scream, to pound his chest and ask him what he was doing to her? Instead she stared at him with intensity and held her breath.

  He smiled. “The minute I watched your car drive down my driveway my feelings all came together and I realized exactly what I felt for you. I’d thought I’d made the worst mistake of my life by marrying Erica. But just after you left I realized if I let you go that would be the biggest mistake of my life.”

  His words caused her heart to fly, but the flight was short-lived. She pulled her hand from his and searched the face that she loved, those beautiful green eyes and strong, bold features. “This isn’t about Melanie, is it? I know she was upset that I was leaving.”

  “Amanda.” His voice held a gentle chide. “I love my daughter with all my heart, but I’m here because I love you and I want to build a life with you. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Melanie adores you. That’s just icing on the cake.”

  She stared at him, wanting to believe what she thought she’d heard him say. “Say it again,” she whispered.

  “What, that Melanie adores you?” He gazed at her teasingly.

  “No, the other part. The part just before that.” She wanted to make sure she hadn’t imagined it, that she hadn’t just heard what she so desperately wanted to hear.

  He smiled then, that devastating smile that fired through her heart. “I love you, Amanda. Stay with me, not because we need you, but because I want you in my life forever.”

  The words were barely out of his mouth and she was half on his lap, claiming his mouth with her own. He wrapped her in his arms and his heart was pounding against her own.

  The kiss was deep and filled with all the longing she possessed for him. She tasted not only passion in his lips, but also a sweet commitment she’d always dreamed of.

  The kiss finally ended, and he smiled at her. “You know, this isn’t exactly in your job description,” he teased.

  She laughed, joy filling her soul as she thought of the future. “Come on, let’s get out of here and into my car.”

  He nodded. “Yes, it’s time to go home.”

  It was rumored that he’d killed his wife and tried to feed her to the gators, but now everyone knew the truth, and Amanda intended to spend the rest of her life not as a nanny, but as a wife to the man who had stolen her heart.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-0718-3

  HIS NEW NANNY

  Copyright © 2007 by Carla Bracale

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

  ® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

  www.eHarlequin.com

 

 

 
sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share