Fear University

by Meg Collett

  By the time he dropped the shield and got in position in front of me, sweat trickled down my back, but I raised my eyes, completely focused on him. For once, I didn’t wait on him to throw the first jab. I darted in, caught him off guard, and landed a light hook on his jaw. I hit him hard enough to let him know to bring it on: I was ready. The hook surprised him but he rallied, and when he spun around me, he bared his teeth, his grin feral. I followed, unsmiling, my eyes locked with his.

  He glided in, moving faster than a blink. I only managed to parry his jab, but I did hook his ankle with my foot. Sadly for myself, Luke knew all my dirty tricks, and he easily stayed balanced. We moved back out to our circle, dancing on the balls of our feet. He came in again, but I ducked and kicked out, my foot nicking his side.

  Before I righted myself, Luke caught my foot as I tried to recover from the kick and jerked me forward. I forced myself not to grin. He was letting me show off; he’d taught me this move last week. Using our momentum, I stepped into his hand like a stirrup, and swung myself up and into his chest, hooking a knee over his shoulder. Together, we fell, hitting the mats hard enough to snap my teeth together. I tried for the choke-hold to finish him off, but he broke my grip.

  Knowing my weakness, I scrambled away before Luke could get on top of me. He weighed too much, and I would be a goner if he got my back on the mat. Maybe a goner in more ways than one, but I was not thinking about that right now.

  I sprang to my feet first, spun around him, and kicked again, my foot landing straight between his shoulder blades with enough force to leave a bruise. Luke flipped forward, over his head, and landed on his feet before spinning back around to me.

  After three more minutes of parrying jabs, hooks, and his wicked crosses, I’d managed to land a few decent blows, though I took a few to the face and ribs as well. Sweat ran down my back and into my eyes, but Luke wasn’t holding back. I danced around him, forcing my legs to stay light even though I knew my muscles were most likely screaming for relief. This time, I moved faster than Luke and caught him mid-step, using his weight to swipe his legs out from underneath him. He hit his back hard, and before he recovered, I launched myself on top of him and grabbed his jaw, forcing his neck back at an impossible angle.

  He tapped the mat.

  I released my grip on him, and for a moment, as I sat on his chest, a triumphant grin splitting across my face, I knew I was home. Not at home on his chest, although that felt pretty good too, but at home here: Fear University and its crazy students and crazier professors. Somehow, I’d made my place here, and when Luke returned my smile with a hint of pride, I knew he believed it too.

  I became all too aware of his hand on my thigh, and my breath hitched in my throat. He gave my leg a soft little squeeze.

  Dean’s clapping jarred me from the moment, and I jumped off Luke, blushing but still grinning like a fool. My triumph returned as I realized this was the first time I’d ever bested Luke. Our sparring would look good to Dean, who descended the bleachers. He looked almost as happy as I did. Luke slowly got to his feet as Dean came over.

  “Great work you two,” Dean said. “You’ve done a good job of training her so far, Luke.”

  Luke dipped his chin in answer.

  “Thank you,” I said. I shook out my legs and arms to keep the lactic acid from building up.

  “I’m impressed, Ollie. I didn’t think you would be this good, this fast. Keep up the good work, and I believe you’ll be ready for Fields at the end of the semester.”

  I’d passed, and I couldn’t help but beam my triumph at Luke. Somehow, his approval of my test meant more than Dean’s. When he smiled back at me again, I hoped the gesture meant he’d passed me too. If I’d been a weaker woman I would’ve melted right there on the mat beneath Luke’s warm stare.

  “Luke,” Dean said, tearing my attention away from Luke’s face, “are you still hunting tonight with Hatter?”

  I glanced back at Luke quick enough to catch the warning in his eyes. “Yes.”

  Dean smiled, and it wasn’t like the fatherly smiles he normally gave me. This one was sharp and jagged, like I might cut myself on it if I stared too long. Standing between them, it was like I wasn’t there. “Why don’t you take Ollie tonight? Let her experience a real hunt.”

  Dean’s suggestion sure as hell shocked me, but Luke acted like he’d been expecting it. “She’s not ready for a hunt like tonight’s.”

  “What makes tonight’s hunt different?” I interjected, feeling slightly offended, but still curious at why Luke was acting weird about this hunt specifically.

  “Nothing,” Luke snapped. “She’s not going,” he added to Dean.

  “Fine. Your call.” Dean shrugged, still smiling as he turned to leave. Luke didn’t say goodbye, and I wondered if Dean had been taunting him.

  When the gym’s door was safely shut, and I knew Dean was out of earshot, I asked, “What was that all about?”

  “You did good today.” Luke’s smile was gone from his mouth, but some warmth returned in his eyes as he watched me.

  “I beat you.” I let his avoidance of my question pass and enjoyed my victory.

  Luke chuckled, and I’m pretty sure my stomach did that diving, swooping thing up my throat, and left my body from my mouth. He had a beautiful laugh, quiet and even, like him, mostly just little whooshes of air through his nose. I liked it so much I must have been staring, because Luke stopped and leveled a serious gaze on me.

  “What?” I asked. My breathlessness should have bothered me, but it didn’t.

  “You did good,” he repeated, quieter this time, like he didn’t mean the sparring. “We’re lucky to have you here.”

  The words were simple, easy, unimpressive words, but my heart soared, and my eyes moistened. Someplace deep in my heart, in a dark and spider-webbed corner, joy and hope rose up. No one had ever said something so nice to me, something that made me feel like I truly belonged. Not ever. And I think Luke knew the importance of his words, because he let them sink in, in his quiet way.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. His lips twitched into a soft grin again, and he turned to go.

  I caught his hand and pulled him back. I stepped into him until the heat and sweat coming off his chest scorched me. Our joined hands fell beside us, and I wrapped my other around his neck. Before he could pull away, I kissed him.

  When he kissed me back, I opened my mouth for him, feeling his tongue flick across my lips before he delved deeper inside. His instant, fiery response confirmed he’d been thinking about kissing me too. I pressed myself against him, and he pulled me in tighter, wrapping his arm around my waist.

  Home, I thought. And damn if I didn’t believe it.

  The kiss itself lasted only a few seconds; we quickly stepped away from each other, too worried someone would walk by the gym’s glass wall. But every spot in my mouth where he’d claimed me tingled. I licked my lips to taste him again.

  When we stared at each other, close enough to hear our too-loud breathing, but not too close to attract attention, I knew I’d found my place here. With Sunny and the professors, who either loved me or hated me. With the cell doors that locked at night. With running laps around the fence perimeter in the evenings. With Dean, who Luke didn’t trust. With Jolene and Allison and now Thad. But especially with Luke, who hopefully understood I wasn’t any more fearless than him or felt any less pain than him. I just felt more on the inside instead of the outside.

  “So why can’t I go tonight?” I asked, ending the spell.

  Luke sighed. “It’s not safe, Ollie.”

  The way he said it aroused my suspicions again. “What makes tonight so different?”

  “Nothing. It’s a hunt.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Ollie,” Luke said, lowering his voice, “let it go, okay?”

  “You won’t tell me?”

  “No,” he said, but then added, “not yet, at least.”

  “Okay.”

  My easy yield surprise
d him. He watched me closely for a minute, as if he didn’t trust me. Smart man. “Okay?”

  I shrugged and walked away, ready to change out of my sweaty clothes. “Try not to dream about me tonight.”

  Luke didn’t answer, but when I glanced back, he remained in the middle of the gym, dark brows lowered over his burning, tornado sky green eyes. I turned back with a smile. I would shower and change. Then it was time to get ready.

  I was following Luke and Hatter tonight.

  It was time to know what was so important that Luke, the university’s golden hunter, would go toe to toe with Dean over.

  T E N

  Later that night when the sun had begun to set and curfew was moments away, I told myself the reason I was currently sneaking into the university’s garage wasn’t because I was worried about Luke and Hatter going on the hunt tonight. Or that it had anything to do with the kiss I couldn’t stop thinking about. I let myself believe I was curious.

  Rabidly curious.

  The garage was beneath the ward level, and, to avoid swiping my card in the elevator, I took the stairs. Luke had gone to the barracks after my evaluation, and, unless Hatter was already down there, I assumed I would be the first to arrive at their van. The stairs wove down and down until I smelled the wet earth permeating through the thick layers of concrete around me. As I walked, the automatic lights flicked on above me, eventually illuminating a fleet of black vans and SUVs with tinted windows and all-terrain tires.

  I hadn’t been down here since my arrival a few weeks ago, but I instantly recognized Luke and Hatter’s blacked-out industrial van amongst the throng of vehicles. I tested the handles and found the van locked, which didn’t surprise me. I went around to the back and peered inside, cupping my hands against the glass and trying not to fog up the window with my breath.

  Shadows swathed the inside, making it almost impossible to see, but movement caught my eye. At first I thought Hatter was asleep in the van, and my heart skipped a beat or two. But instead of Hatter’s two-toned eyes, red ones blinked back at me and little white bodies scuttled back and forth, pink noses twitching. Lab rats.

  Next to the rat cages lining the van sat piles of nets, coils of rope, chains, and a stack of heavy-duty padlocks. I pursed my lips and stepped away. I’d seen enough. The foolish idiots.

  I certainly wasn’t leaving now. So I waited. A moment passed before the motion lights went off, concealing me in a veil of darkness. I didn’t move.

  Five minutes later, the light beside the stairwell came on, and Luke and Hatter stepped into the garage. They both carried backpacks and wore their hunting gear, complete with vests and neck shields. Another light flipped on as they came closer, revealing the grim set of their mouths. Neither spoke, but I recognized a foreign look of seriousness on Hatter’s face. Their bodies rippled with intensity as they stalked forward. This wasn’t any other hunt for them. This was different. And I knew why.

  Another light came on. Then another. And another. When the light above me and the van flipped on, they finally spotted me sitting on the hood of the van with my arms crossed.

  Hatter yelped, the purple snapback sitting backward on his head nearly tumbling off. Luke didn’t act that surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  I picked at my nails. “Dean said I could go, so I’m going.”

  “Ollie-o,” Hatter said, adjusting his hat, “I like you and everything but you can’t sneak up on people like that.”

  “Sorry, Hatter.” I shot him a grin, refusing to let my thoughts return to what I knew about his childhood, before turning my attention back to Luke.

  “No, you’re not. This is none of your business.” Luke’s words lashed against my skin. “Go back to the dorm and stay there.”

  “Really? You think you can send me away that easily? Come on, Luke.”

  “Leave,” he growled.

  “He’s right,” Hatter added. When I heard the fear in his voice, I became more convinced not to let Luke make me leave. “And you know I don’t say that shit willingly, but Dean shouldn’t have said you could go.”

  I leaned forward, my hands gripping the van’s hood. “I’m not going anywhere. Want to know why? Because you two assholes are going to try and catch a ’swang. I saw all your gear back there: the rats and rope. So I want to know why. And after you’ve told me all the reasons, I’m going to come with you.”

  Hatter’s brows rose and he let out a little whistle between his teeth. “I’m going to pack up while you two love birds chat. Try to make it a quickie though, we gotta split.” He slapped Luke’s ass, like a football player celebrating a good play, and walked to the back of the van.

  “How did you know?” Luke asked, ignoring Hatter.

  “It wasn’t hard to figure out. The rats in the van are fear-conditioned lab rats, aren’t they? The ones they train to be afraid of the bells. You’re going to use their fear to lure in a ’swang.” When Luke cast his eyes to the ceiling, his frustration evident, I knew I’d guessed right. “Won’t the ’swang smell their rat scent?”

  Luke sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “We have human blood back there too, in the cooler. We’ll pour it over the rats to mask their smell.”

  “Good plan.” I jumped down from the van and wiped off my hands on my jeans. “Let’s go.”

  “Ollie.” Luke grabbed my arm, his hand sending waves of heat up to my collarbones, making them tingle. “It’s too dangerous.”

  I stepped away from his hold as Hatter walked back up to the front. “That’s exactly why I’m going.”

  “Shotgun, bitches,” Hatter sing-songed as he hopped into the passenger seat. He rolled down the window and said to me, “You get the back. Try not to bother the rats. They’re sensitive.”

  Not bothering to glance at Luke again, I walked around to the back of the van. The last time I’d been back here, I’d been a reluctant passenger, to say the least, but this time I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

  Luke climbed into the driver’s seat and settled his pack into the space between him and Hatter. The rats tittered and squeaked from the van’s movement, and I had to make a little path through all of Luke’s supplies so I could sit behind the console.

  “So why are you trying to catch a ’swang?”

  “Funny. I always ask that same thing.” Hatter pulled a small device out of the van’s console. It looked like a very sophisticated garage door opener. He punched in a short code on the small keypad that I made sure to memorize. Luke wove his way down the aisles of vans, trucks, and SUVs.

  “You’ve done this more than once?”

  “Just get the doors,” Luke snapped at Hatter.

  “It’s a real wonder that you have any friends,” I said. Hatter held up his hand for a high-five. Luke rolled his eyes when we slapped hands.

  “I was in a great mood before I saw you.”

  I propped an elbow on the console and put my chin in my hand in an effort get comfortable. The rat cages were poking into my side. “Hmm. I wonder why you were in such a good mood?”

  “Yeah,” Hatter chirped. “I wonder why?”

  “The doors,” Luke growled, ignoring us both.

  Hatter pressed the green arrow on the device, and a massive bay door opened in front of us, letting the evening’s setting sun stream through. Luke gunned the van up the ramp, squinting into the light of the setting sun. He followed the road around to the front of the estate, thick gravels popping and pinging below the van. When he pulled up to the front gates, they were already parting for us. They didn’t open all the way, but Luke managed to squeeze the van through the narrow opening, twisting iron inches from the side mirrors.

  “Where are we going?”

  Luke sighed and raked his hand through his short hair, making it to stick up in the front. “A fishing village.”

  “Why a fishing village?”

  “Increase in animal attacks.”

  “And you think the attacks are ’swangs?”

  “Yes,�
�� Luke said through gritted teeth, knuckles turning white around the steering wheel.

  “Does anyone ever survive an attack? Live to tell the tale and all that?”

  Luke sighed through his nose. “Sometimes. Though they’re normally too rattled and drained from the feeding to report much.”

  “What does it look like when a ’swang feeds on someone’s fear?” I couldn’t help the questions. I also couldn’t help the fact I enjoyed pissing Luke off. Call me petty.

  “It ain’t pretty,” Hatter said cheerily from the passenger seat. He turned around and grinned at me, two-tones eyes twinkling, his hat sitting crooked on his head. “Normally, they always kill their prey to make it look like an animal attack, but sometimes they’re interrupted or the person manages to get away. Rare, but even a rainbow can shit a rainbow sometimes, you know?”

  Luke rolled his eyes, and I held back a laugh. “No, I don’t know.”

  Hatter waved us away like we were the crazy ones. “Those who get away often look haggard and sunken in, like all the good is gone out of them.” His eyes brightened. “Like Luke when I kick his ass hunting!”

  Luke and Hatter argued the point good-naturedly for a bit, and I grinned as I watched them hash it out. Hatter plugged his ears with his fingers and hummed along to a song on the radio, his feet propped up on the dashboard like we were going to the beach, and completely ignoring Luke, who raised his voice as he claimed he’d had the last three kills and not Hatter. It was fun to see them like this, like they hadn’t been damaged by their families. As I watched them bicker, I felt a part of things even if I’d forced my way in. It was nice.

  “So,” I said when the debate had finally died down. “Are you going to tell me now or do you want me to ask a million more questions?”

  “I think she wants to know why we’re trying to catch a ’swang,” Hatter offered.

  “I know what she wants.” Luke navigated the twisting road. The sun set quickly, evidence of the shortening days and coming solstice.