Fear University

by Meg Collett

  When I skidded around to the east wall, I saw a line of guards. In the night, their shots blazed with a blinding fire for a second before dissolving into darkness. There were no lights on the fence top; everyone, including the ’swangs, relied on night vision. I couldn’t see what the guards shot at, but the shadows moved too quickly on the ground outside of the fence to be shadows.

  ’Swangs.

  At the next rook’s nest I came to, I ran straight into Luke.

  His face showed a split second of shock before he turned furious. He slung his rifle over his back and shoved me against the back of the rook’s nest, guards streaming around us as they ran to get into position. Over the cacophony, he yelled into my ear, “What the hell are you doing up here?”

  “Is it Hex?” I shouted back, trying to see around his shoulder.

  He shoved me back again, and I bit my tongue. I spit out the blood and glared at him. “Go to your cell!”

  “Movement!” a guard close to us shouted.

  Guns blasted. Luke spun around and turned his attention to the front of the fence. I slipped up behind him and peered down into the darkness. All around us, people were shooting and shouting, calling out positions and number of ’swangs attacking. My eyes were glued to the pulsing, teeming shadows.

  They swelled and surged toward the wall with howls and sharp barks. The sound of their claws on the fence ricocheted up to the rook’s nest. Luke called down the line, and a series of guards dropped flashbangs that seared my eyes and ruined my night vision.

  As I blinked down into the chaos, I heard him.

  Olesya.

  I spun toward the other side of the rook’s nest, blinking furiously to clear my vision. Off to the side, away from the fight, stood Hex. Shadows concealed half his body, the other half standing out enough for me to see him. His eyes glowed a bright white in the darkness. No one else seemed to see him, their attention reserved solely for the attack on the fence, which was obviously a distraction orchestrated by Hex.

  Olesya, come outside. Come to me.

  His voice slipped down my spine and curled around my insides like smoke. Horrified, I realized part of me really did want to go to him. But the more rational part prevailed, and I wished I had a rifle.

  What do you want? I asked, focusing my thoughts toward him.

  I thought you were dead. I thought you died that night with her.

  With who? And what night was he talking about? I shuddered. Honestly, I didn’t think I wanted to know. You need to leave, I thought instead.

  These people are dangerous. You have to come with me.

  “Ollie!” Luke grabbed my arm. He flung me back against the rook’s nest and shouted in my face, “You have to go now! Get to your cell!”

  Hex’s predatory growl echoed in my mind. Though I couldn’t see him, I still asked, Who are you?

  “Look at me!” Luke yelled, shaking me.

  You need to leave that place.

  I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what you want with me and who you are, I shot back.

  “What’s wrong?” Luke sat down his rifle and searched my body for wounds. “Ollie! Talk to me!”

  I want to save you, Hex said. These people will hurt you, especially that Aultstriver. They’ll cut you apart to figure out what makes you different. You can’t let them do that to you. If they know what makes you special, they’ll kill us all.

  You mean my disease?

  “Ollie,” Luke whispered in my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “Are you hearing them now? Don’t listen. Baby, look at me.”

  My body reacted to him, arching into his heat, but I wasn’t aware of him as I focused on my inner conversation.

  It’s not a disease, he said, chilling me to the core.

  What do you mean? I’ve had it my whole life.

  You were born with it, but it’s not a disease.

  Luke stopped a nearby guard. “Get her to the ward! Take her now!” He shoved the guard toward me. “And stay with her. Don’t let her out of your sight. You hear me?”

  “Yes, sir!”

  The guard tried to lead me away, but my feet wouldn’t move. Hex’s words repeated over and over in my mind: it’s not a disease. My thoughts were so jumbled that I couldn’t tell if he was repeating them to me or if I was. I couldn’t tell my thoughts from his words or mine. I might have been speaking aloud given Luke’s terrified expression and the guard’s confused one.

  “Carry her!” Luke instructed.

  The guard hefted me up and slung me over his shoulder. Blood dripped from my nose and onto the rook’s nest floor. My head pulsed with Hex’s words, with the gunshots, with Luke’s continued shouting for the guard to go.

  Why? I asked Hex. The word swirled in my mind, chasing its tail until I was dizzy. Why are you helping me? Why are you here?

  The guard moved slowly down the ladder with me over his shoulder. I couldn’t struggle. I couldn’t move. My view of Hex was blocked, and his words faded drastically in my mind, but I still managed to hear him when he said the words that made me black out.

  I’m your father, Olesya.

  F O U R T E E N

  I jolted awake, an acrid scent swirling up my nostrils. I gagged and shoved myself away from the horrible smell. Only then did I notice Dean sat beside me. I was in the ward, lying on a cot.

  “Good, you’re awake,” Dean said as he capped a small bottle in his hand. The stench wafted out toward me again, and my stomach turned.

  “What the hell is that?”

  Dean smiled and set the bottle aside. “I couldn’t exactly pinch you awake, could I? Call it drastic measures.”

  I rubbed the bridge of my nose, hoping it would alleviate the smell still churning in my sinuses. “What time is it?”

  “Morning. You’ve slept a long time. Students are arriving from break.”

  I’d slept like the dead and rested like them apparently. I felt rejuvenated, but I suddenly remembered that more had happened last night than my internal chat with Hex. I almost shuddered. “Is everyone okay? None of the ’swangs got in, right?”

  “Do you think we would be here talking if they did?”

  I bit my tongue to keep my smart-ass comment in check, but holding it in tasted worse than the smell in my nose. Between now and the hunting disaster with Luke and Hatter, I understood why Luke disliked this guy so much. I was seeing a completely different side to him lately. “No wounded?”

  “No. Except for you, of course. Which is interesting, because you should have gone straight to your cell. Instead, multiple guards noted your presence during the incident in their reports. Care to explain?” Dean leaned forward on his stool, making the thing creak beneath his weight. I didn’t like being on my back so close to him, so I shifted, scooting as far away from him as possible before sitting up and crossing my arms over my middle. It wasn’t much, but it made me feel better.

  “That was more than an incident.”

  “What were you doing out past curfew?” he countered.

  Not wanting to answer that, I pretended I didn’t understand what he was asking. “I’ve never been through an attack drill before.” I shrugged, forcing a casualness into my words I didn’t feel. “I didn’t know where to go. My instincts said the fence.”

  After I’d finished, Dean studied me for a long, tense moment. I sensed him turning my words over and over. I knew he didn’t believe me: his eyes flared with skepticism as he examined me.

  Abruptly, he reached forward and slapped my shoulder, like he was rewarding me for a right answer. The blow made my teeth sing, meaning I would likely have another bruise tomorrow. I resisted the very strong urge to punch him back. “You’ll be a great hunter, Ollie, with those special instincts. I knew I was right about you.” Dean stood, wiping nonexistent dirt of his pressed khakis. Too casually, he said, “Remember our agreement. We have rules in place for a reason, and you, more than anyone else, are expected to follow them. Understand?”

  “Yeah,” I said through my
teeth. Dean’s smile disappeared and he cocked his head. I knew that look. “Yes, sir,” I quickly corrected.

  “Good. I’m glad we understand each other. Oh, one more thing. You’re not to say a word about the attack. Not one. Not even to Sunny.”

  My hands dropped to my sides. “What?” I sputtered, though I shouldn’t have been surprised.

  “None of the students are to be informed of last night’s events. You and the guards are the only ones who know. Even Jolene doesn’t completely know what happened, because she actually went to her cell when the siren started. So if any information leaks, I’ll know where it came from.” Dean’s smile turned sharp, dangerous, and I crossed my arms over my chest to shield myself from him. “And that’s a disobedience I can’t tolerate.”

  My throat was too dry to respond.

  Dean took my silence as submission. He walked to the door, whistling under his breath. For the first time, I wondered if he was crazy. With his hand on the swinging door leading into the ward’s hall, he paused and looked back at me. “I forgot to tell you. I found Max. He’s in Alaska, did you know?”

  His words processed slowly in my mind, but eventually my fingertips began to tremble. I pressed them into my ribs to hide them from Dean, who was watching my reaction with a dark gleam in his eye. I didn’t trust myself to speak. I might scream instead.

  “I wanted you to know,” he continued. “All I’m saying is that he’s close if we need him. Which, I hope we don’t.”

  My vision slanted, hot vomit pulsing up my throat. Distantly, I heard him leave, the door swinging behind him. I fell back against the bed, shivering so badly I barely managed to pull the blanket up around my chin.

  I knew I should be planning to escape. I had all the signs. I knew better than most when to leave, when everything pointed straight at danger. I freaking knew better. But I hated that, once again, one man was going to send me into hiding, force me to run away from where I belonged. I hated that. It disgusted me.

  And Max was close. He was in Alaska. Too close. Too close for me to breathe. But in here, at Fear University, I stood a chance against him.

  Eventually, the shivering passed, taking my fear with it. Exhausted, I laid on my cot, and the thoughts I’d fought so hard to keep down, surfaced.

  I’m your father, Olesya.

  My father. I tested the words over and over in my mind, but they never fit. I had no one. Certainly no memories of a father. Much less a ’swang father. ’Swangs could only reproduce with other ’swangs. It was impossible for a ’swang to mate with a human. Not to mention the thought of being half ’swang revolted me. No, I didn’t believe Hex. I didn’t.

  “No,” I whispered. No. No. No. Shove it down. Push it away.

  The ward’s door swung open again, and I jumped, nearly screaming. My stomach flipped at the thought it was Dean returning with more threats.

  “You’re awake,” Luke said, and I couldn’t help my sigh of relief.

  I rubbed a hand across my forehead, where a pounding headache grew. “Barely,” I said, hearing how weak my voice was. “Could you get me some aspirin?”

  Luke went to the cabinets and pulled open a drawer. He knew exactly where the right medicine was, almost as if he’d spent a lot of time in the ward. But given his battered body, he obviously had. “Here you go,” he said once he’d filled a small glass with water and returned to my cot. He deposited the pills in my hand and waited.

  “Thanks,” I said after I’d swallowed the pills and downed the water.

  Luke ignored the stool beside me and sat on the edge of the cot. It dipped beneath his weight, and my body slid toward his until our hips touched. He leaned over me and propped a hand on the other side of the bed. I looked up into his face. For once, I didn’t hate being on my back around someone. I never minded Luke’s proximity like I minded others.

  “Ollie,” Luke sighed, his breath whooshing over my face and fluttering the little hairs at my temples, “what happened last night? You lost it on me. It was like I was staring at a dead girl. Were you hearing them?”

  I clenched my jaw and forced myself to look away from him. If I stared into his warm green eyes a moment longer, I would tell him everything. The real, horrible truth. Even Hex’s lie. The worst lie. The lie that I had a father. The words were all right there, right on the tip of my tongue, waiting to spill out and become someone else’s problem. But I held them in, forced them into submission. And when I looked back at him, I had myself under control.

  “They were looking for me,” I said, giving him the best version of the truth I could offer. “Like you said they would.”

  “Shit.” Luke raked a hand down his face. Dark circles stained the skin beneath his eyes, and he wore the same clothes from last night.

  “Yeah,” I said quietly, wishing we were talking about the real truth.

  “This is bad.” I nodded in agreement at his words, but it was worse than he thought. Way worse. “If they’re looking for you, that means more organized attacks.”

  “I know.”

  “Has Dean been here yet? Told you not to tell the others?”

  I let the anger bristle up my insides. The feeling was better than the bottomless loneliness that threatened to devour me. “He was. Why the hell can’t I say anything? The students deserve to know. They—”

  Luke put a hand on my arm to calm me down. Annoyingly enough, it worked. Either that or his intoxicating man-smell was messing with my fried brain. “They should know, but Dean has it on lockdown. He doesn’t want to freak anyone out.”

  “They deserve to be a little freaked out.”

  “You’re right, but Dean asked me a lot of questions about you last night. The guard who carried you here told him you were unconscious and had a bloody nose. Dean knows we aren’t telling him something, and he knows it has something to do with the night we went to the fishing village.”

  “He told me Max was in Alaska,” I said quietly. I refused to let the fear quell my voice. Or my heart. Not happening.

  “Why did he tell you that? Was he threatening you?”

  I shrugged, not wanting Luke to know how much Dean was getting to me. Luke jerked to his feet and paced away, cursing enough to impress even me. He was a powerful man, virile and intimidating, but I drank him up, his anger and violence, like it was the best thing I’d ever tasted.

  “Do you think,” I ventured, choosing my words carefully based on what Hex had said last night, “that Dean would use me to figure out a way to make other hunters not feel pain? Like, experiment on me or something?”

  Luke spun around to face me. “Did he say something like that?”

  “No,” I said quickly. “I was just wondering.”

  Luke’s eyes bore into the floor, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones like he was thinking too quickly. It took him too long to look back at me. Too long, and I knew Hex was right. It was another sign I should run. Escape. But I stayed sitting on the cot, waiting, praying that Luke would look up. When he finally did, I sighed with relief. “I won’t let that happen. You know that, right? I won’t.”

  “I know, Luke, but men like Dean don’t stop.”

  “It’s a medical condition. They aren’t God. They can’t create super soldiers.”

  My heart twisted at his words. Medical condition. It’s not a disease, Hex had said. But it was. It had to be. By sheer will alone, I would make it so. “You said he would make an entire army out of soldiers like me.”

  “It won’t come to that.” Luke sat back down on the cot and took my hand. “I’m going to figure out what Dean is doing in the west wing of the lab. If he’s going to try anything with you, we might find answers there.”

  It was a shot in the dark, and we knew it. Dean was coming for me, and I was a sitting duck. I didn’t even know who I really was. Why could I hear the ’swangs? Talk to them? Was I Hex’s daughter or a medical fluke? How deep did my ties run with Fear University? But more important than all those questions was one simple one: we
re the ’swangs the monster or was I?

  “I don’t want to stay in here,” I said, because it was the only honest thing to say.

  Luke stood and reached down for my hand. I wove my fingers through his before he helped me off the cot. Not that I needed the help, but he held my hand after I was righted, and that was worth it. “Where do you want to go?”

  I thought about running into Sunny and seeing the other students, flushed and happy from spending the break with their families, and said, “Can we go to your room? I don’t want to see anyone yet.”

  Luke nodded, though I saw the question in his eyes. He led me through the ward’s main hallway and up the stairs. Instead of going to the main front door, he took me out a side entrance, directly in front of the barracks. Thankfully, none of the other hunters were in the hallway to see me go into Luke’s room. I didn’t think our friendship or whatever was something I needed to hide, but I didn’t want to put Luke in a weird spot.

  When we were settled on the bed, my head resting against Luke’s battered chest, and the television turned on, I asked, “How can you stand it? All the lying that goes on here?”

  Luke ran his hand down my back, fingers tracing the knobs of my spine. He followed a path: straight down, a few brushes across my lower back, and then back up the notches of my ribs. He made three passes before he answered. “It’s something you get used to, I guess.”

  I bunched his shirt in my fist, feeling the hard contours of his abs beneath my hand. “It’s not fair to ask these students to risk their lives, and not tell them the truth about what they’re really going to face. It’s like giving a scared little kid a sword and pointing him toward a dark cave as you tell him the Easter Bunny is in there.”

  “I know,” Luke soothed as he kept his hand roving across my back.

  “I hate lies.” The words were quiet and muttered against Luke’s skin, but he still heard me. His hand stilled.