by K. Webster
His swallow is audible and I drag my gaze back up to his face. He frowns at me, sadness morphing his features into something heartbreaking. Needing to comfort him, I slip a hand to his cheek and run my thumb along his recently shaven flesh.
“He was my brother.”
The sadness takes years off his age and it causes an ache in my chest.
“How did he die? How come you’ve never mentioned him to me before?” I question.
His hand finds my wrist and he tugs it from his face. “It’s a long story,” he says dejectedly.
I blink up at him in confusion. “So tell me. He was your brother and I’m just now finding out about this. I thought we talked to each other about everything.”
He closes his eyes and groans. “I know, honey. I’m sorry. I don’t talk about him to anyone.”
“Talk to me,” I say softly and step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Please.”
He stiffens at first but soon, his strong arms gather me to him. His nose is in my hair as he inhales me. “Jesus, Nadia,” he says with a grumble. “You make my life really fucking difficult, you know that?”
I laugh and tilt my head to look up at him. His cock hardens between us and I try not to shiver. Instead, I pretend that I don’t notice. “I like being difficult. It keeps you on your toes. Now tell me.”
He lets out a sigh but absently begins stroking my hair as his eyes dance away from me as if he’s getting lost in a memory. “He loved her. Kasey.”
A memory of her telling me I reminded her of Taylor surfaces in my mind. “Your Taylor was her Taylor?” I ask in astonishment. “I had no idea.”
“They were in love. Hell, I’m pretty sure he took her virginity when she was just fourteen,” he says with a rueful smile. “Of course he was eighteen and that was stupid, but my brother did what he wanted to, especially when it came to Kasey.”
I let out a laugh. “I wonder who he got that from,” I mutter sarcastically.
He tugs at my hair and grins down at me. For once, I don’t see Donovan, the powerful hotel and resort tycoon. No, I see a boyish, happy man. A man who loved his brother and loves hard. I like seeing him this way. But as soon as the smile arrives, he quickly wipes it away. “He killed himself.”
The ache in my chest threatens to rip me in half. “What? Why? They were in love!”
He tries to pull away but I tighten my grip. His fierce eyes flicker with anger and his jaw clenches. “There’s more to the story, Nadia.”
I nod and wait for him to continue. His eyes close and he shakes his head as if he doesn’t want to think about it.
Finally, his hardened glare meets mine. “Her stepfather Dale owed my father. Those two were always up to deviant business dealings. When Dale finally couldn’t pay one of his debts, my father asked for something—someone. He wanted Kasey.”
My eyes widen in horror. “Your father wanted to sleep with her?”
His cheeks blaze red at my comment and he tears away from me. I watch him as he stalks along the foot of each bed back and forth until I’m pretty sure he’ll wear a hole in the carpet.
“Donovan. Out with it.”
He runs his fingers through his drying hair and his biceps bulge with the action. I bite my lip to keep from doing anything stupid like biting the flesh there on him.
“Well, Dale gave my father the okay. Said she was sleeping around anyway so it didn’t fucking matter. Handed him the key to their trailer and they left. Her mother and stepfather went to the bar, leaving my dad to collect his debt.”
I gape at him in horror. “No…”
He grits his teeth and crosses his arms over his bare chest to glare at me. “Yes. And he took and took until his old dick wouldn’t work anymore.”
Tears well in my eyes and I shake my head. “That’s so terrible.”
Donovan stalks over to me and slides his fingers into my hair. His eyes are fiery when he looks down at me. For a moment, I think he might kiss me. And if it weren’t for the skeletons being aired into the room, I would want him to.
“Listen to me, Nadia. If I tell you something, you must take it to your grave. I trust you more than anyone. So promise me.”
My mouth pops open and I growl at him. “Cómo tu te atreves—” I start in Spanish but quickly flip back to English. “How dare you even think for one second I’d take for granted everything you’ve done for me and betray your trust? Don’t you know me better than that? Haven’t I always been loyal to you?”
He drops his forehead to mine and the connection sends electric currents pulsating through me. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and strokes both of my cheeks with his thumbs. “I do know you better than that.” His nose nuzzles against mine and his hot breath tickles my lip. “Taylor found out. He’d been in a rage over what happened and went straight for our father. My brother…he—he smothered him in his sleep.”
“Oh no…”
His brows draw together and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, revealing the pain he’s just barely keeping contained. “When he called me crying, I had Logan come over with me since he was a detective at the time. Logan and I carried Dad’s body to his car after we dressed him, drove him to the railroad tracks on a vacant road, and placed him in the driver’s seat. The next train smashed his body to bits and the cops, thanks to Logan, never pursued the case as anything other than an accident.”
His lips hover over mine and I let out an eager gasp. “Then what?”
“Taylor couldn’t handle the guilt. Our dad was an asshole but my brother wasn’t. He had nightmares and couldn’t cope with what he’d done. In the end, he killed himself.”
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him in a devastated whisper.
He swipes my bottom lip with his thumb. “That’s why I have the tattoo. Why Logan and I both have the tattoo. As a reminder of what happened and the loyalty we have to one another about the crime we covered up for my brother.”
“How tragic.”
His breath lets out and it smells minty from his toothpaste. I crave to taste him.
“So, I feel like I owe my friend. I donate to the police department and send Logan frequent deposits because he deserves it for helping me protect my brother.”
“Thank you for confiding in me. I swear nobody will ever know.”
We both remain still, our heavy breathing the only sound filling the hotel room. I’m frozen in his solid grasp and I like it. It feels right here. Another satisfying shiver jolts through me.
“Donovan,” I whisper, tilting my head up slightly. “I love you. I need…”
As if to chase my words, his lips brush against mine. So soft. So gentle. A long, second of hesitation stills the air between us. Each of us giving the other one last opportunity to state their argument as to why this is a very bad idea.
Turns out, we’re not worried about considering the repercussions of our actions because as soon as that second is over, his tongue is in my mouth.
Oh, God.
Donovan’s perfect mouth is crushing mine. Invading me. Owning me. And I’m desperate for more. My fingers claw at his chest as if I could magically climb him and latch myself to him forever. When a pleasure-filled moan escapes him and spills into my throat, I lose it. With greedy, deft fingers, I tug at his towel.
The moment it hits the floor with a soft thud, our thin string of self-control snaps unapologetically. His hands slide down to my ass and he grips me tight, lifting me closer to him. Doing what feels natural, I hook my legs around his waist and cry out in pleasure to feel his thick, hard cock pressed against my sweet spot.
I’m too wrapped up in our kiss to notice what’s going on around me, but when he lowers me to the bed, I whimper with need. Our eyes meet when he pulls away to tug at my panties. He hastily slips them down my legs while I rip off my top.
I want him naked and pressed against me.
On me.
Inside of me.
Taking me.
“Please, Donovan,” I beg. “I’
ve wanted this for so long.”
His possessive growl makes me wet and I squirm with desire to touch myself in an effort to relieve the ache between my legs.
“Have you ever?” he questions in a low tone.
“No. I’ve been saving myself for you.”
“Thank fuck,” he mutters as his fingertips dance along my inner thighs. “There’s so much I want to do to you. You make me crazy, Nadia.”
I spread my legs apart and my heart rate quickens when his gaze falls there. “So do it. Make me feel good. Make love to me.”
He flashes me a possessive grin before lowering himself to my pussy. I’ve had a couple of boyfriends go down on me before and it was always kind of bori— “Shiiiit!” I screech the second his tongue begins lapping at me.
I latch my fingers into his wet hair and let out an embarrassing moan. Donovan is extremely skilled with his tongue. Every movement he makes is exactly what I didn’t know I was craving.
“Oh, God! This feels so—”
His hot breath tickles me as he all but devours me. Slurping and sucking echo in the room. All I can do is ride his face while he eats me as though he’s starved for me.
I’ll feed him all day, every day.
A sharp bite of pain shocks through me as he sucks hard on my clit. But just as I’m about to yelp out, he massages away the hurt with his tongue until I’m bucking against him. Over and over he assaults me with his delicious madness until I’m splitting the earth with my screams.
My body is still jolting and shuddering from my orgasm when he presses a soft kiss to my clit. I jump because I’m still sensitive there and meet his hungry stare. His hand is covering his beautiful cock as he strokes it slowly up and down. When his eyes close and his eyebrows pinch together in frustration, I wonder if I’ve done something wrong.
“What is it?” I demand.
His eyes reopen. “We can’t do this.”
As if he’s slapped me, I swallow down my emotion and search his eyes for answers. “But you love me.” Tears well in my eyes but don’t spill over.
And I know this with every part of my soul. So why is he fighting what we both want?
He pounces on me and his tongue is in my mouth a second later. The kiss is an entire unspoken monologue. I can feel his love and desire and need rolled into one sweet kiss. His cock rests between us but I want it inside of me—linking my soul to his.
“Baby,” he coos against my lips. “I love you more than anything. I just don’t have a goddamned condom.”
My tears turn into giggles and soon we’re both laughing.
“Oh,” I say, a slight pout on my lips.
“Yeah, oh.” His grumble makes me giggle some more.
“But I really wanted you inside of me,” I tell him with a sigh. “I wanted to feel completely owned and loved by you. Just once. What happens if you just do it for a little bit? Just so we can see what it feels like to be together?” I know I’m driving him crazy and that’s my intention. I may not know how to seduce a man like the great Donovan Jayne but I can tell the innocence drives him wild. The fire in his eyes tells me so. Everything in me begs for him to cave, just this once.
He groans but begins sliding his cock against my stomach lower and lower until each thrust slides between the lips of my sensitive pussy. “Just for a minute,” he concedes with a conspiratorial grin.
I nod as he continues his slow teases with his body rubbing against mine. When the tip of his cock pokes at my entrance, I hold my breath and spread my legs as far as they’ll go, hoping he’ll do it finally.
“God,” he mutters, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Shaking my head, I speak with conviction. “You’re hurting me by teasing me. Take me. I’m yours, Donovan.”
With one powerful thrust, he drives deep inside of me. Hard. He’s so hard inside of me. Having him connect with me physically like this is the last part of our souls that needed linking. Now, we’ll never sever these ties.
“I’m so sorry if I hurt you,” he mutters against my lips as he bucks into me slowly. “Jesus, you’re so fucking perfect.”
“Don’t stop.”
And he doesn’t. We make love. There’s no other way to describe it. Our groans and whimpers and moans are a soundtrack to our bodies uniting. With his thumb on my clit while he thrusts into me, he draws out another earth-shattering orgasm from me. This time, he comes with me, though. The heat from his first burst of semen stings my sore insides before he pulls out and shoots the rest of it just below my belly button.
He collapses on me and buries his face against my neck. We’re wet and sticky but I don’t ever want him leaving my arms. I want to stay locked up in this moment for as long as I can.
“Te amo.”
“My sweet Jayne.” I can feel his warm smile against my flesh. “I love you too, baby.”
That night, everything changed.
That night, I slept with my stepfather.
That night when he took my virginity, I fell hopelessly in love with the man who is now nibbling on my earlobe.
“We can have that again, sweet Jayne,” he breathes against my wet flesh, causing me to shiver. “Let me give you a life much better than this one. I don’t understand your motives for running off with him. From running away from me. But we can fix this.”
Reality splashes over me like a cold rain and I try to wriggle from his grasp. “I can’t do this right now, Donovan. In fact, I absolutely need to get back inside. I’ve been out here too long.”
He pulls away and a murderous glare paints his features into something scary. After such a long spell with Logan, I can’t help but cower away from his rage that seems to pulsate from him. When he notices my fear, his gaze softens.
“Baby, I…”
My bottom lip quivers and I close my eyes when his hand strokes my cheek ever so gently. I wish we had more time. But the crushing reality is I’ve already been out here for far too long.
“Hold on a second,” I blurt out. “I’ll be right back and then you need to leave. I promise I’ll find you again when I can talk. But now’s not the time. Donovan, I swear to you it’ll be soon. Trust me.”
The hardened expression on his face, though, isn’t aimed at me. He’s angry for me. If he only knew all the reasons to be angry, he’d toss me over his shoulder kicking and screaming to take me far, far away from this hellhole.
For one brief second, I almost beg him to.
But one glance into his shimmering blue eyes, I am reminded that I cannot.
This is my path. For now.
He groans when I run into the house to grab a couple of eggs. I can explain away my absence to Logan if I tell him a chatty neighbor stopped by to borrow some eggs. Once I’m back outside, Donovan wastes no time finding my lips and smashing me against the wall with his undying love.
“I love you, baby. I fucking love you so much.”
My body craves to connect with his. To prolong our moment together. To freeze time and make love to him right here on this porch.
“You know I love you,” I assure him. I want to make him understand. I want to pick up the pieces that belong to my heart and run off with Donovan Jayne. But I can’t. “We’re not together anymore though. I’m with Logan.”
He jerks away as if I’ve slapped him and his lip curls up. Confusion is written all over his face. But then it happens. A flicker in his soulful eyes. The man has direct access into my head via my own eyes. I need for him to see that it’s not him. There’s more. And he sees. Thank God, he sees. “You may be doing something here,” he motions behind me at the house. A growl of frustration on his part. “For now...” I shiver as he continues. “I get you have reasons, baby. Truly, I do. But you are not with Logan. You’ll always be with me even when you’re not. We both know who your heart has always belonged to.”
“With you,” I agree with a brave attempt at a smile that wobbles away, giving way to sadness. “I miss you and will always love you. We just can’t be together. Not
right now.”
His brows are pulled together in a frown that has my heart aching. The frown is a familiar one that makes me want to tear this house apart with my own two hands. That frown is what spurs me on. “I won’t wait forever now that I know where you are…”
I hold up the two eggs and force them into his hands. “I know but please trust I’ll have this sorted out soon enough,” I say firmly as tears stream down my cheeks. “Now go before you fuck it all up.” When I bite out the last of my words, he winces at my tone.
I ache to soothe away his heartache and pain. To flay open my heart and explain everything to the man who loves me more than anything in this world.
“Si me amas, déjame.” If you love me, leave me.
His face crumples and it delivers a final blow to my heart. Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to my lips. “I do love you, Nadia. Always.”
All I can do is sob in return. Donovan, my best friend. My lover. My hero. My entire world. And I pushed him away without explanation aside from the vague letter I’d sent. First I left his side three years ago and now I’m trying to hide from him under Logan’s roof. I can only imagine the horror that is flitting through his head right now. The thick betrayal coursing through his veins. If I could sink my teeth into his flesh and suck it all away, I would. Having Donovan seeming so devastated is almost more than I can bear. I may be strong but even warriors have a weakness.
Donovan makes me drop all of my armor.
Donovan makes me vulnerable.
Which is exactly why he must leave before I do something incredibly stupid with ripple effects that will continue to stab at my heart until the day I die.
I watch him as he storms off to his car. Once he flings open the door to his newest black Lexus, his gaze meets mine. I expect to see anger or sadness reflected under the moonlight. But what I see terrifies me even more.
What I see is understanding.
What I see is determination.
And when Donovan Jayne sets his mind to something, he throws every ounce of himself into it until he gets what he wants.
