by K. Webster
What he wants is me…and right now, he simply can’t have me.
“Are you Amethyst?”
A woman with a sweet smile and messy blonde hair looks up from her phone to regard me. Her nearly purple eyes—eyes that exactly match her sister’s—peer back at me curiously. Despite being short like Ashley, Amethyst is built like a runway model. She has high, naturally pink cheekbones and a cute upturned nose. Shoulder-length waves of hair frame her exotic face. Her tits are small but the perfect size beneath a tight white T-shirt that reveals a black bra underneath. Jeans ride low on her hips and I’m awarded a small tanned sliver of skin between her shirt and the top of her jeans. She’s all light and I am mesmerized, fucking blinded, by her sheer brilliance—like a blind man staring into the sun. I feel a reprieve from the shadowy darkness that always plagues me.
“Who’s asking?”
“Kasper,” I grunt out, extending my hand to her, and taking my eyes from her slender body.
She beams at me and takes my hand. For a hand so small, it saturates mine with powerful energy—the good fucking kind. This woman is pure and gentle. She’s about as opposite from me as a person can get. I’m overwhelmed by the sense of need to protect her purity. I want to scold her for being so trusting of a complete stranger. “Like the ghost? You’re not that spooky.”
I don’t respond with a smile of my own and grit my teeth. “I’m Lieutenant Kasper Grant. I work with your brother-in-law, Jason Rhodes.”
“I know who my brother-in-law is,” she says with a laugh that reminds me of a breeze teasing wind chimes on a warm summer day. “Did you guys drive Ash? I thought she was picking me up per her last text.”
The woman is like sunshine on the cloudiest fucking day. Today is like a hurricane of terrible things and she’s still coasting along shining her sweetness on everything in her path. Including me.
But shadows aren’t meant to be warmed by light.
Shadows are meant to stay far away from the likes of sunshiny women like her.
I’m about to darken her world.
It’s simply what I do.
“Actually, I need you to take a ride with me. I’m afraid something awful has happened. We’re going to need to get to the hospital right away.”
And just like that, my darkness shadows her light, eradicating it completely. Tears well in her pretty eyes making them shimmer like two polished gems. Her glossy pink bottom lip quivers as she searches my eyes for answers.
“Is she having the baby? It’s too early. That’s why I came down. We were going to pick out furniture for the nursery,” she explains, her voice wobbling, as if this will somehow undo the wrongs that have happened. Wrongs that I haven’t yet spoken but I can tell she senses down to her very soul.
I reach for the handle of her rolling suitcase and frown at her. “It’s not about the baby. I’ll explain on the way.”
Ten minutes later and we’re flying down the road toward the hospital in my Camaro. From the corner of my eye, Amethyst is gnawing on her fingernails. She hasn’t asked again and I don’t want to offer the information. I don’t know much about Ashley’s condition. I certainly don’t want to give this woman false hope.
“Is she okay?” she finally mutters.
I shrug my shoulders as I weave in and out of traffic. When the fuckers won’t get out of my way, I turn on my siren. “I don’t know. She was in an accident. They rushed her to the hospital.”
She starts to cry softly and my hand twitches to reach over to comfort her. For someone who mostly feels disgust and anger every waking moment of the day, I’m put off by the fact that I’m feeling empathy.
I wish the woman beside me would smile again and light up this dark car with her happiness. She clasps her fingers together and bows her head. From a quick glance at her, I can tell she’s praying. To whom, to what—I don’t know.
But I sure as hell hope someone’s listening.
Rhodes and Amethyst have gone back to see her. The fucking doctor wouldn’t tell them her condition. So now, for the past half hour, I’ve been pacing the waiting room alone waiting for answers. My friend still doesn’t know it was Dale, my stepfather. When he finds out, maybe we can hurt the motherfucker together.
“Kasper.” The soft voice is nothing but a broken whisper. I turn to see a red-faced sobbing angel before she throws herself into my arms. “T-T-This can’t be happening.”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. It feels comfortable and right holding her. “Is she okay? What about the baby?”
She tilts her head to look up at me. Her lips purse together firmly and I watch as she pulls her emotions in check. When her chin stops quivering, she speaks.
“They’re gone.”
“Back to surgery? Chief said he thought she might’ve broken her neck but people can still go on to have a good life after, even if they’re paralyzed.”
She shakes her head and a tear races down along the inside of her splotchy red cheek near her nose. I want to swipe away her pain but instead clench my teeth together, hoping for better answers than the ones that are coming from her mouth.
“K-Kasper. Her broken neck was the least of their worries. She cracked her skull and was bleeding internally. By the time they got her here and in surgery, it was too late. Ash passed away on the table. S-S-She’s gone.”
Her eyebrows furrow together and she darts her gaze all around in confusion, as if she can’t even believe the words coming out of her mouth. More tears roll down silently as she attempts to make sense of it in her head.
“The baby?”
“Neither of them...” she trails off in a whisper. “Neither of them made it.”
When she starts to sob hysterically, realization of the situation washing over her, I hug her to me. If this were my sister who had died and Ashley were here, she’d be the one consoling me. Ash was a good girl and my fucking stupid-ass stepfather killed her.
He killed my friend’s wife and her baby.
And now I’m going to kill him.
“I don’t feel so well.”
Her whispered words are my only warning before she passes out in my arms. With a grunt, I scoop her light frame into my arms and stalk off toward the exit. She’s been through too much.
“Kasper!”
I frown when I see Rhodes’s parents rushing into the building. “Jason’s with her,” I clip out. “I’m sorry but your daughter-in-law—”
“No.” His mother bites out the word, in denial about the death of her son’s wife and child, and pushes past me. “Don’t you dare say it.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell his dad whose face crumples with despair. “Her sister isn’t well and I’m taking her to my place until she feels better. Call me if I can do something.”
He nods once and trots after his wife.
Amethyst doesn’t stir until I’m buckling her back into my car. “W-What are we doing?”
“I’m taking you home to rest. You’re in shock I think.”
She fumbles for the seatbelt but I firmly pull her hand away. “There’s nothing you can do for Jason right now. His parents are there. Let them help him through this. You’ll be better prepared to function after some food and a good night’s rest.”
Her tears the entire way home douse my flames of hate for Dale like a torrential rain of gasoline. For once in my life, I’m not fixated on my hate for the loss of my sister. Right now, I pour everything into the fact that I will exact revenge on Dale for Rhodes and his family. I’m not sure how yet, but I will destroy him for hurting them.
A warm hand on my chest awakens me. I cover it with my own and reach for the person in the darkness. My fingers thread into the soft locks of her hair which causes her to sigh. The sadness and desperation in her voice guts me.
“What’s wrong?” I demand, my voice hoarse from sleep.
I’d left her to spend the night in the guest bedroom but now she’s standing in my bedroom beside my bed.
“Everything.”
“Do you need something?”
In the darkness, I can feel her nod. “I need a hug.”
I smile, despite myself, and tug her to me. She wastes no time and crawls practically on top of me. Her slender arm curls around my ribcage as she clutches on, digging her fingernails into my flesh. I pull her against my side and press a kiss to the top of her head.
Comforting someone isn’t something I’m used to.
In fact, I should feel extremely out of place here. Obsessing over shit I can’t change. Plotting ways to kill Dale. Hating Nadia for ruining my entire life.
But for some reason, I can’t not help Amethyst. My family is responsible for the ruin of hers. She’s a nice girl who had an equally nice sister. This woman has lost someone she loves in the blink of an eye. I owe it to her to give back where I can.
Not because I have to, but I feel a strong urge to do so. Because I want her sunshine again. That brief glimpse of light in the airport she shone upon me was like a sunburn. It burned my soul a little but was worth basking in it. After a decade of cold, dark shadows, it’s nice to feel a flicker of warmth, and not just in my cock. From time to time, I fuck women and it makes me feel human if only for a brief moment. And with my new plan to fuck with Nadia, I’d felt a hot fire of lust in my dick—an arousal sparked on by the desire for retribution and vengeance.
But with this woman sniffling in my arms, the heat that is warming me from the inside out is coming right from where she’s resting her head against my heart.
“You can hit on her. Just don’t sleep with her. She’s better than a weekend fling.”
Ashley’s words are still fresh on my mind from earlier this evening. She’d kill me if she knew her sister was in my bed the very first night of her being here. My chest aches from the loss of Ash and the baby.
“I can’t promise I won’t look after her. If she’s your family, then she’s my family too.”
My own statement carves itself as a mantra into my soul. I will look after this woman while she’s here mourning her sister. I’ll do it because I cared about Ashley and it’s what she would have wanted.
“So you’re a cop with Jason?” Her voice is soft and tickles the hair on my chest.
“Lieutenant.”
“Ash told me I might meet you while on my visit.” She lets out a small sob at the mention of her sister. Her voice is shaky and she sniffles but continues bravely along. “I’ve been studying abroad for the past few years in Peru. Thought about staying in Montana where we’re from but now I’m not so sure. It’s not like I can’t be a mineralogist here. There are mines and mountains everywhere.”
I absently stroke at her hair, the urge to comfort her almost natural. “Won’t your parents miss you?”
“We never knew our dad and Mom died when we were teenagers from cancer. Ash met Jason on a college ski trip several years ago and ended up staying indefinitely. I’d planned on taking care of Mom’s land in Montana but with my sister dying, I think I should be near Jason and help him through it. She would have wanted him to have someone to lean on.”
The idea of her staying shoots a tiny thrill through me but I quickly snuff it out. I think her staying for Rhodes would be a good idea. Someone will need to help him process the death of his entire world. And as much as he’d probably like for that someone to be me, I know I’m not emotionally capable.
“I’m sure he’d like that,” I assure her.
We grow quiet for some time, her tears long since dried. I like the way her silky hair feels when I run my fingertips through it. I’ve almost fallen asleep when she speaks again.
“Who is Nadia Jayne?”
My entire body jolts at her words. The old, familiar rage that had always fueled me like an efficient machine fires to life, all engines blasting. Kasey, like Ashley, won’t go on to have a long life.
“My boss’s fiancée. Why do you ask?”
She lifts up to peer down at me even though we’re in the dark. Her shoulder-length hair tickles my throat and my dick twitches.
“I was looking for you and accidentally went into your office. There was a file open on your desk with her picture and name on it. Why do you have a file on your boss’s future wife?”
I groan and urge to push her away from me so I can pace around the room. Nadia is my little secret—a secret project I don’t need the noses of anyone else into.
“Uh, I was just doing a background check on her and—”
Her fingertips graze over my lips silencing me. “If we’re going to be friends, Kaspy, don’t lie to me.”
“Kaspy?” The lopsided grin on my lips is immediate and I can’t stifle my laugh.
“You’re so serious. I wanted you to lighten up. And apparently you like being called Kaspy,” she teases, a smile in her voice.
I smirk. “You’re insane.”
“I’m serious, though. Why do you have a file on your boss’s future wife?”
The death of her sister may have broken her heart—maybe her soul even—but she’s resilient and powers through, attempting to control what she can. Just like Ash had said. She’s trying to burrow her way inside of me and I’m already willing to flay myself open for her to see the blackness that lives inside. Ashley warned me her sister loved a project.
Why do I feel like I’m about to become her next one?
“It’s not important.” My tone is gruff but at least it isn’t a lie. I would like to be her friend just so I can fucking pet her like I am now. I want to be her friend so she can burn me with her wholesome rays of sweetness. I’d love to be her friend so I can clutch onto her tiny ray of hope she’s given me that I may one day have a life that isn’t driven by revenge.
“It’s important to me,” she murmurs.
I let out a rush of air but she waits patiently, ignoring my huffing and puffing. “She was a witness to a kidnapping ten years ago.”
“Oh…so what does that have to do with now?”
“Because I think she knows something she hasn’t told the police. I feel like she’s responsible for the girl never turning up.” The bitterness in my voice can’t be disguised. In the darkness, my hate wafts around us, suffocating us with its black stench.
“It’s a cold case, though, right? I mean, ten years…”
I grip her wrist and pull it from my face. “If you could bring back your sister, wouldn’t you chase down every opportunity to do so?” I question, my voice low and menacing. “No matter how crazy it made you?”
She lets out a choked gasp, her tears splashing my face like a rainfall from heaven, and I release her arm. The moment I do, she surprises me by bringing her lips to my ear, whispering her words in one quick, hot breath. “I absolutely would.”
And suddenly I’m once again warmed by her heat.
Something unfamiliar and foreign surges through me, from my chest all the way down to my toes. Pride? No. Justification? Maybe. Confidence in another soul—a soul I barely know? Most likely.
As a weight lifts, I hug her back to me and inhale her hair. We don’t say anymore on the subject. What’s more to say?
Nadia Jayne should be pursued and badgered. Or should she?
I will get answers from her. Or will I?
Either way, Nadia won’t get off easy. I’ll find out what she’s hiding, even if all she’s hiding is an abusive relationship with my boss. If my findings exonerate her in the process, so be it. If it implicates her instead, then I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Regardless, Nadia is still on my radar.
Amethyst’s breathing levels out as she falls asleep but my eyes are wide open in the dark. I like her, but she’s shown up a few months too soon. She’s the type of girl a man settles down with and marries. And right now, I’m not settled. Not one fucking bit. The very idea of juggling her friendship and my plans to figure out Nadia threatens to rip me in two. A ragged divide between hate of the past that fuels every cell in my body and hope for peace that seems to tickle and tease me. For once I’d love to push away the ange
r and focus on something sweet and good. Just once.
Amethyst lets out a sigh in her sleep and I find myself smiling. I stroke her soft hair as I wonder what it would feel like to do this every night. Is this what normal people who aren’t blinded by revenge do? Is this what Jason and Ashley did every night?
The smile falls from my lips as I begin to drift off. I make a silent vow to myself that I’ll find the answers I’m looking for so that I may finally move on. Even if that means helping Donovan tear Nadia from Logan’s steely clutches in the process. With Ames in my arms and the death of my friend’s wife on my mind, it’s easy to let go of some of the anger. To realize life is short. It’s time to sort this shit out once and for all. And finally move on.
Get ready, Nadia. I’m coming for you…
I pace the kitchen with my eyes on the clock. Fifty-two minutes. Logan has been on the porch consoling one of his detectives who lost his wife last week for fifty-two minutes. And I’m about to flip the fuck out. The second hand ticks by much more quickly than it should and panic causes my heart to thunder in my chest.
“What are you so anxious about?” a deep voice grumbles from behind me.
I jump, letting out a squeak of surprise, and frown to see Kasper leaning against the door frame sipping on a bottle of water. Every night this week, he’s come over to work on the walls. Logan doesn’t seem to notice, but I can’t help but think Kasper takes his time—that he’s dragging his feet on this project for a reason.
“I just really need to speak with Logan,” I blurt out and cast another weary glance at the clock.
“Why?”
Jerking my gaze over to him, I gape at him with a withering stare. “I just do. He’s, uh, timing something for me and the time is up in seven more minutes.”
His dark brows pinch together as he assesses me. But rather than badgering me further, he flashes me a wicked grin and winks. “I’ll take care of it, sweet Jayne.”
Instead of cringing at the name, I watch as he makes his way to the front door. I chew on my fingernail as I see him talk to both men through the window. He motions inside and then puts his hand on the other detective’s shoulder. I’m shocked when Logan comes striding in a moment later.
