Surrender Your Grace

by Maddie Taylor

  “Do we have to go out, Andrew? It's so hot.”

  “No, it's a delightful summer day, the sun is out but there is a breeze. This is the first break we’ve had in the oppressive weather in weeks.” He walked up behind her and settled his hands on her shoulders before turning her. “So, you are going to put on your bonnet and take in the fresh air. I hope to get a little color back into your cheeks.”

  She opened her mouth to protest further but he stopped her with a look. “Don’t argue with me about this. You will not win. I’ll pick you up and set you into the curricle if I have to.”

  “I was just going to say I forgot my parasol upstairs.” She giggled at his stricken look. It was the first sign of positive emotion she had shown since losing the baby.

  He hugged her close and kissed her beneath the wide brim of her bonnet. “I’m sorry for the scolding, sweetheart.”

  “No, don’t apologize. I’ve disagreed that the grass was green and the sky was blue in the past few weeks. I’m sure you expect an argument from me at every turn now, Andrew.”

  “You’ve had every reason to be upset and out of sorts lately. But I’m eager to put this behind us and move ahead. We won’t forget our loss, but we cannot allow ourselves to wallow in our grief.”

  “Of course you are right, but it’s been so very hard. I really wanted our baby, Andrew.”

  He kissed her trembling lips and held tightly, oblivious to the servants who waited with his topcoat and her maid who had hurried upstairs to collect her gloves. “I did too. I am here for you, Cici, always.”

  He escorted her to the curricle where his magnificent pair of black horses were waiting in harness. Andrew lifted her into the carriage and climbed in beside her. It was a mild August afternoon and she turned her face up to the sky to catch the light breeze and soak up the sun. “This was a wonderful idea, Andrew. I have been cooped up in that house for entirely too long.” She slipped her arm through his and leaned into him.

  He called to his team and started off at a brisk pace toward Hyde Park. It was well before the fashionable hour which was Andrew’s intent. His plan was to take her driving while there were fewer people in the usually crowded park. For her first outing, she just needed to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine without the pestering of busybodies who were looking for more idle gossip. Although there would be some genuine well-wishers, he wanted to ease her back into the social scene gently.

  Turning down Park Lane he entered the park through the Stanhope Gate, purposefully avoiding The Ring which was always crowded with members of the Ton. The fashionable wanted to be seen while promenading which was more of a social event. Cici didn’t need that just yet. Turning south he drove the team at a sedate pace past the Serpentine and towards Kensington Gardens and the West Carriage Drive.

  “Thank you for taking such good care of me these past few weeks, Andrew. I know you put a lot of business aside so you could dance attendance on me.”

  “You are my wife, Cici and are my top priority. Where else would I have been but at your side during this trying time?”

  “Well, I am grateful all the same.”

  They rode along in companionable silence for a while. Cici looked at the Serpentine and the swans floating gracefully on the water. She watched couples strolling leisurely along the walking path and frowned as she saw one lady trip. She would have gone careening headlong into the bushes if her gentleman hadn’t caught her in time. Something ocurred to her then.

  “Do you think my fall was really an accident, Andrew?”

  “What?” Startled, Andrew jerked reflexively on the reigns causing the horses to toss their heads at the unexpected treatment. After a moment of calling to them to calm them, he looked at her in amazement. “Why would you think otherwise? Have you remembered something and neglected to tell me?

  “No, its just that in all my eighteen years I have never tumbled down a flight of steps.”

  “Are you saying someone intentionally pushed you? Who would do such a thing?”

  “Maybe it's just my wild imaginings. I just wish I could remember, but it all seems so fuzzy.”

  “The doctor said some memory loss is common with a blow to the head. What do you remember about that night?”

  “The last thing I remember is feeling nauseated and needing some air. Who ever coined the term morning sickness was sadly uninformed. Mine struck any time of day or night. Anyway, Elizabeth said she would attend me but I brushed her aside. Maybe if I let her…” Cici stopped abruptly, she had been over and over this before.

  “It was an accident, sweetheart. No one is to blame, certainly not you. However, I still cannot believe they let you go to the ladies room alone. Especially if you were unwell. Your mother said you were complaining of a headache all evening.”

  “Its not there fault and Elizabeth did offer. I supposed the headache or the pregnancy could have made me dizzy. I just don’t know.”

  It was Andrew’s turn to frown. Could someone have planned her injury, wanting to hurt her and their unborn child? It seemed an unpredictable plan, to find her alone in a hallway in a crowded opera hall was surely happenstance. Although if it had been the villain’s intent for her to miscarry, the means had been successful. It was fortunate that she hadn’t broken her neck and died in the fall. But there were other ways that would have been much more efficient and reliable.

  Who would gain from Cici’s death? If he didn’t produce an heir, the dukedom would become extinct and return to the crown. He had no male heirs even distantly. His mother’s estates and titles would fall to his sister Maggie as well as the unentailed Sommerville properties, but the titles would not. Maggie would be the one to benefit the most but he trusted his sister without fail. No it had to be someone else, if it wasn’t in fact an accident.

  “Can you think of anyone who would wish you harm, Cici?”

  “No one, I have thought about it from all angles and cannot come up with anything. Elizabeth was unusually spiteful after the wedding, but since the miscarriage she has been much better. I can’t believe she would do something so cruel and actually harm me.” She squeezed his forearm, “I must be mistaken. I’m sorry I mentioned my silly notions, Andrew.”

  “Your safety is of utmost concern to me so your notions are anything but silly. We will be extra cautious from now on and you will always be escorted by me or one of the footmen from here on out. No more excursions with just your maid. And if you attend the opera or the theater, you will not go anywhere alone. Understood?”

  “Yes, Andrew. Although with the baby gone, I doubt if it will be necessary.” He could hear the tears in her shaky voice and she sniffled as she blinked furiously trying to hold back the tears.

  Reaching over. he squeezed her hand in support. “None of that now my love, we are supposed to be enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, not dwelling on our loss.” He saw her nod and search in her reticule for a handkerchief. Watching her dab at her tears and take several deep calming breaths, he asked,,“Better?”

  “Yes, although I don’t think ‘better’ is the right word. It is going to be a long while before I feel better, but I will try.”

  “You need a distraction. Maggie has asked to attend the theater; Dion Boucicault's ‘The Sleep of Twenty Years’ I believe. I here it is an adaptation of a Yank’s short story called Rip Van Winkle. It is supposed to be quite humorous and I think might cheer you up. I will accompany you both.”

  “Is it proper so soon, Andrew?”

  “No one knows about our loss except family and our full mourning period for James is almost past, so there is no need for concern. Mother of course will not be able to attend for some time yet. By the time she finishes her mourning for James, three years will have passed with the poor woman in nothing but widow’s weeds. A ridiculous ritual to be sure.” He eyed Cici’s loose fitting mourning gown. She had lost weight. “I think we’ll need to get you to the dressmaker. I’m also going to monitor your meals more closely, Cici. You are much too thin.”
r />   “I am still too curvy to be fashionable. I could stand to lose more.”

  “Absolutely not, I liked you the way you were. And if Cook and I have anything to do with it, you will be back to your voluptuous self in no time and filling out the tops of your gowns as a woman should.”

  Blushing, she looked around to ensure his comments hadn’t been overheard. He truly said the most outrageous things. But she was pleased he liked her shapely form. For the first time in weeks, her thoughts turned amorous as she snuggled against him. He had not returned to their marriage bed since she lost the baby. Knowing his active libido, she had a few passing worries that he had turned elsewhere to meet his needs. No! She trusted him. She would not go down that self-destructive path again. He said he would be faithful and she would trust that he had been, even if it made her seem naïve. She made up her mind to lure him back to her arms that evening.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The opportunity to seduce her husband didn’t come that night. In fact, she wouldn’t find an occasion for another week. He was called away again to deal with a problem at one of his estates. Although Cici asked to go with him he refused, stating he would be traveling quickly and expected to return within one or two days. She had whined that at this rate she would never get to see any of the other Sommerville estates and had earned herself a bare bottom spanking for her sass. Unfortunately, it took him four times as long and Cici became frustrated by his absence so she turned to her best friend Maggie to help her cope.

  “He sent word that he would be back in the next few days, Cici. Cheer up.”

  “I’m know, but I’m worried Maggie. I can’t remember the last time Andrew has been home long enough to take me out for the evening and he won’t let me go with him. He comes up with some reason or another to keep me at home, saying it is too soon, or that I’m too pale.”

  “The Sommerville estates are vast, Cici. He has to visit them and evidently with the time he spent away after… uh, your loss, things have piled up. It will get better once his new secretary has learned his duties. Plus, the season is winding down and Parliament will be dismissing. He should have extra time soon. This is a big change for him as well. I think he’d rather be here with you.”

  “You are right and I sound like a bitter old harpy. I am really a poor excuse for a wife. I understand that things have changed greatly for him. It’s just that he’s rarely home anymore and when he is he’s exhausted. Ever since losing the baby he hasn’t even-.” She stopped abruptly realizing what she was about to say to her husband’s sister. She couldn’t talk to her about her concerns. Shaking her head, she tried to change the subject.

  “Let’s go into the study. I want you to show me where Andrew keeps the naughty books you were telling me about.”

  “OK, but I know what you’re trying to do and it won’t work.” Maggie laughed at her friend’s startled expression. “I’ve got a mind like a steel trap, dear sister and I will return to the subject at hand eventually.” She crossed the room and pulled Cici to her feet. “Let me see if I can find Andrew’s editon of Becklard’s Physiology or his copy of the Kama Sutra, they both have drawings.”

  “The what and the who?”

  “'Becklard’s’ is a how to book on human sexuality. The other is in Hindu or some such language, but the pictures are self-explanatory. Both are banned so my brother is a very naughty boy.” She winked at Cici who was blushing furiously. “But I don’t have to tell you that.”

  “Maggie! I am a married woman and yet you obviously know more about the subject than I do.”

  “My knowledge is not firsthand, however.” She tugged her into Andrew’s study and closed and locked the door. “Pour us both a brandy and let’s see what we can find.”

  Two hours later, both young women were laughing uproariously as Cici exclaimed from the ladder, a cigar clamped between her teeth and a snifter of brandy held aloft. She declared, “I don’t care what you say, we have been through every shelf and looked at every book. I’ll be jiggered if Andrew has a picture book on tupping anywhere in this library.”

  A door slamming had them both turning suddenly. Maggie squealed in alarm and quickly extinquished her cigar as she saw her infuriated brother and his friend Duncan, the Earl of Rothbury standing behind them. Cici also turned and being five rungs up the ladder and on her third brandy lost her balance causing the ladder to sway precariously backwards. Grasping for purchase on one of the shelves, she dropped her brandy snifter with a crash and found herself hanging by her fingertips from one of the upper shelves.

  She cried out in alarm just as strong arms wrapped around her from behind and she was securely lifted. Having no choice but to release the shelf, she trusted that whoever held her could bear her weight. Reaching down to balance herself she grasped a fistful of silky soft hair and was relieved to hear a man’s deep voice.

  “Let go before you snatch me bald, woman. I have you.”

  Recognizing Andrew’s voice, she released her grip and found herself quickly upended over his shoulder. Her shriek of protest was met by a large hand smacking her sharply across her posterior. Hanging down his back, her hair came loose and blocked her vision but she heard him announce, “I am taking this naughty chit to her room. Duncan, if you would be kind enough to see that Maggie gets to her rooms, I will deal with her in the morning.”

  An upside down Cici swept the hair from her eyes she tried to find Maggie, but her movements were curtailed by two hard smacks to her buttocks. “I suggest you stay still my naughty wife, unless you want witnesses to the punishment I mean to deliver posthaste.”

  She flopped back down across his back, meekly allowing him to carry her from the room. As if she had a choice. She was mortified as he carried her down the hallway past the servants who lingered there. Not wanting to meet the undoubtedly shocked or amused gazes of those she would tomorrow have to provide instruction to, she closed her eyes as he moved up the staircase.

  “Andrew, this is beyond humiliating. Please put me down so I can walk.”

  “I think not, wife. You deserve to be humbled after what I just witnessed. Imagine my shock as Duncan and I stood there listening to you lamenting your fruitless search for a sex manual of all things. And to top it off, you were smoking one of my best cigars and swilling my finest brandy like a cockish wench.” He had arrived at her rooms and entered, slamming the door behind them. She found herself falling as he hefted her from his broad shoulder and allowed her to land in a wild sprawl upon her bed. Struggling to right herself, she brushed aside her long red hair and looked up at her irate husband.

  “What do you have to say for yourself, Cecilia?”

  Uh-oh! He only called her Cecilia anymore when he was really angry.

  “I’m sorry, Andrew but it was only Rothbury and we had the door locked.”

  “I of course have a key, and so does Thompson. Another few minutes and it would have been Scorpion Stanley himself.”

  She blinked at him in confusion.

  “The Prime Minister… Earl Derby, didn’t you get my message that I was expecting important guests this evening?”

  “Uh, well… No, as a matter of fact I didn’t receive a message.” Flushing deeper she remembered their butler Thompson knocking on the door, but she had dismissed him in a bout of giggles with Maggie. They hadn’t wanted the butler to see them smoking Andrew’s cigars and imbibing in his brandy. He would have told Andrew without question. Now she regretted her impulsive and reckless actions. Thinking about how it would have looked if the head of Parliament had walked in on her in that state, she felt instantly ashamed and quite sober. “I am so very sorry, Andrew. I had no idea.”

  “If you aren’t now you will be shortly.” Andrew stared down at her in frustration. “I can’t have you acting as hostess in this state so you are confined to your rooms this evening.” Turning, he strode toward their sitting area and his adjoining rooms beyond. They usually shared his bed, so being confined to her room was indeed a punishment.

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nbsp; “Andrew, you can’t treat me like an errant child.” She protested as she followed. She bit her tongue when he turned back to her, a look of utter disbelief on his face.

  “It’s funny you should say that, because with your naughty behavior of late, I have often felt more of a parent than a husband. Furthermore, if I were treating you like a child, your skirts would be up and you would be feeling a paddle against your drawers.” He waited for that to sink in before he continued, “However, since you are my wife and supposedly an adult, you will feel a woman’s punishment. Later tonight, expect to feel the full brunt of my displeasure against your bare backside. Until then, you will stay here and do as you are told, understood?”

  “I’m sorry, Andrew. I had not intended to embarrass you this way.” A tear escaped and she wiped it away in frustration. She didn’t want to keep crying in front of him.

  “I understand that and your apology is accepted, Cici. Our challenge it seems is getting you to think that way before you act so outrageously.” Walking to her, he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll have a tray sent up. Get some rest and don’t cry now.” Turning her back toward her room, he swatted her behind as he gently nudged her forward. “Save those tears for later when I give you something to cry about.”

  Whirling in alarm, she stared at him with her mouth open, her hands going to the back of her skirts, protectively covering her vulnerable backside.

  Andrew looked at her expression and couldn’t help but laugh. Shaking his head at the adorable creature that was his wife, he had to admit that his life never had a dull moment when she was around. He then left to greet his important guests.