The day had been a bit boring but not as bad as I expected. Mike was in a good mood; I didn’t want to know what’s caused it, but it was probably linked to spending some time with just my mum. Ergh!
We had the usual bacon sandwiches for breakfast before opening our presents, followed by a late Christmas lunch. Mum thanked me for the book I got her, and gave me a sweet smile when she noticed what I’d written inside it. Mike laughed at the comedy socks I’d bought him and, as expected, Sylvie loved her pink ear muffs so much she wore them for most of the afternoon!
Although Sylvie had received the most presents, getting increasingly more excited with each one, I had the best. After I had opened the couple of gifts labelled for me under the tree, Mum went to her room and came back with a present that was about the size of a shoebox. She came over to me, gave me a kiss and told me that she had wanted to get me something ready for Uni. I opened it, half expecting it to be a kettle for my room. But it wasn’t; I was now the proud owner of a beautiful, shiny tablet PC.
This was such a big deal. We only had one computer between us, which meant that I was forced to spend most evenings doing my homework sat at the desk in the corner of the lounge. When I got my phone the previous year it had liberated me and meant that at least I could get online from in my room but the tablet was amazing! I knew that Mike would have taken some persuading to spend that much money on me, so offering to wash up had seemed like the least I could do.
When I went back into the lounge, Mike’s parents were getting packed up and Sylvie had her coat on. After we waved them off, Mum hurried upstairs, saying she hadn’t even started packing, and so I was left with Mike. The inevitable awkward silence followed.
“Thanks for the tablet, Mike. It’s fab. I really appreciate it.”
“I hope you do. Your mum has saved hard for that. Personally, I don’t see why you need it,” he added.
Not wanting to get drawn into an argument, or make things more difficult for Mum, I just replied with a “Well, thanks anyway.” I got a can of pop from the fridge and went up to Mum’s room. There was no point making things worse by staying downstairs.
The door was open so I went straight in but shut it behind me. Mum appeared to be systematically working her way through her drawers, pulling out what looked like half of her wardrobe.
“How long are you going for, Mum?” I joked. I started refolding some of the clothes, ready to put them in the case.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had to pack for a holiday, Cass. I’m worried that I’ll forget something!” she admitted. I could see how much she was looking forward to this. As I went over and put my arms around her, I breathed in that familiar Mum smell.
“I’m going to miss you.” Even I was surprised by my words.
“I know, love. I’ll miss you too but we are going to have to get used to this. You could be living hundreds of miles away in a few months’ time.” Even though the furthest away I had applied to university was Brighton, I knew what she meant; it wasn’t really about the distance. This was one of those moments when I was really aware of what growing up meant and, as much as I was looking forward to it all, it was also a reminder that life would never go back to how it was. I was never going to be her little girl again.
“Do you want to borrow anything of mine to take, Mum?” I could tell that she was a little taken aback by the offer. Maybe I had let myself grow away from her too much.
“Really? I was just thinking that I don’t have a nice scarf if we go out in the evenings. Could I take one of yours?” I ran into my room and brought back a couple of my favourites. I tied a pretty silver and grey one around her neck, like she used to do for me and still did for Sylvie.
“That looks lovely on you, Mum.”
“Thanks, love.”
“I love you, Mum.”
“I love you too, Cass. Don’t ever forget that.” She hugged me to her and I felt a closeness that hadn’t existed for a long time.
“Now scoot and let me finish!”
Back in my room, I lay on my bed, put in my earphones and let my mind drift. I thought about Mum and how her life had turned out; maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. It was difficult not to draw comparisons with Neve’s mum, Steph. Steph was a little older and didn’t have Flynn until after finishing university. She had a good job in one of the banks in town and Neve’s dad seemed to still be madly in love with her. They had a posh house, two cars, nice holidays etc. and seemed to make the most of life. But maybe she was a different person to begin with? Would she have stuck with me, like Mum did? Would I do the same? I know that it sounds like I was living some sort of blinkered, selfish life, but I hadn’t really thought about Mum in this way before.
Before it got too deep and meaningful, I picked up my phone, eager for a distraction.
Me: Howdy partner. Had a good day?
Neve: Mm. Bit boring :( What did u get?
Me: A bloody tablet! Mum excelled herself this year :)
Neve: Wow!! I got a laptop. U got it set up yet?
Me: No. Thought I might bring it round tomorrow.
Neve: 2 long :( Sort it now! Get on Skype!
Me: OK. I’ll try…
Despite my natural Techno-bimbo inclinations, I managed to get connected to our Wi-Fi and registered with Skype. Within seconds of searching for Neve and hitting ‘Call’, there she was, sat on her bed, her face a little bit too close to the webcam.
“Urgh, back up! I can see your nose hair!”
“Thanks babe – and I can see you’ve not bothered with make-up today! Jeez, haven’t I taught you anything?” Neve was right about me not having really bothered with what I looked like; there didn’t seem to be much point. I didn’t want to point out that she already had her pyjamas on, her hair tied messily on one side.
“We’re doing fancy-schmancy tomorrow so you’re going to have to try harder if you want your name on the list!”
“Really?” I wasn’t sure if Neve was winding me up, even though there was a smile as she said it. Wasn’t Boxing Day meant to be the time for recovering from the excess of the day before? “How fancy?”
“Oh you know: little black dress, killer heels. The usual.” The fact that neither of us owned anything like that meant I could breathe a sigh of relief. “We will be a bit smarter than normal though, Cass. Mum likes us to make an effort over Christmas.”
“So those pyjamas are your best ones are they?” I joked back. “What should I wear then?”
“Jeans are OK, but wear something nice on top. What about that blue top with the tattoo thing on it? Or your crochet jumper? I always think that looks great on you.” Mentally I was ransacking my wardrobe, listing my non-school smart wear. I drew a blank. At least Mum had me to borrow from.
“Anything else I should know about? Do I need to curtsey? Will I have my own butler?” There was an element of truth behind my jokes as I’d never had to worry about what I was wearing to Neve’s house before. Yes, we sometimes spent ages planning what we were going to wear when we went out, but this was a new development.
“Nah, just remember that Mum prefers ‘Ma’am’ and you’re not allowed to make eye contact with her!” She laughed. “Seriously, you all sorted?”
“Yeah. They’re dropping me off just after nine, if that’s OK.”
“Course. I can’t wait.” Something outside Neve’s room distracted her and she looked away from the screen. “So, how much did you make then?” Unsure of what to reply, my pause was filled by a background murmur I couldn’t quite make out. “Oh my god! Two hundred quid?” The detective in me worked out that she was talking to Flynn. “Come in here. Cass is on Skype!” The angle of Neve’s laptop shifted to take in the doorway to her room.
“Merry Christmas, Cass!” Flynn came into view, wearing a white shirt with a skinny black tie askew at the undone collar. An image of pulling the tie off him and unbuttoning the shirt filled my mind. I hoped my burning cheeks were not visible at the other end. “Had a good day?”
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“Yeah, thanks. Not as good as yours has been though, by the sound of it.” It took full concentration to stop my voice sounding strange.
“I don’t know. I’m knackered and smell of sprouts!” Well, that certainly cooled my heat rush! “I need a shower and then I’m getting some beauty sleep ready for tomorrow.”
“No film tonight?”
“Nah, just sleep. See you tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late, Neve!” And, with a brief wave, he was gone. Thankfully, Neve didn’t pick up on the sigh I was unable to stifle. The screen shifted again and I was back to a close-up of Neve.
“Is Flynn working at The Lodge again?” I asked, trying to sound as disinterested as possible.
“Yeah, they’ve given him a few shifts over Christmas. They were gutted when he packed it in to go to Uni and it’s super busy, so they’ve welcomed him back with open arms. I think he’s on a mission to earn as many tips as he can. I suggested he tuck some mistletoe in his belt!” Flynn had worked part-time as a waiter at The Lodge, a local posh pub and restaurant, when he was in Sixth Form. I imagined him flirting with the female customers who would lap up his good looks and charming banter. I didn’t want to think about what he had done to improve his tips today. Merry bloody Christmas.
“Oh,” was all I could muster in response.
“So, my lovely BFF, I’ll see you in the morning!” Neve blew an exaggerated kiss right at the webcam. Even across the Wi-Fi ether, I could see the sincerity in her eyes.
“Yeah, I can’t wait!” I replicated the gesture before ending the call, thinking that, within the space of a few days, Flynn had become one of the reasons I was so looking forward to it.
Already Mum’s present had made me smile. I went along to say goodnight, something I hadn’t done for years, but her bedroom door was shut and I didn’t want to disturb whatever might be going on. I went back to my room and got into bed. As my brain scrolled again through my wardrobe contents, still not convinced about tomorrow’s dress code, I heard the familiar chirp. I knew it would be Neve admitting that she had been winding me up.
Flynn: What’s your email address? I’ve got a link for you but can’t send it by text.
Me: This isn’t going to be one of those dodgy porn videos is it? I’m not that type of girl, remember?!
Flynn: Really?! ;-) It’s a serious one.
Me: [email protected] I’m intrigued :)
Flynn: Nice name! I’ll send it now.
As I opened up my emails, I realised that I could be doing this on my tablet instead. I smiled but couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed so waited for it to load. Flynn’s email was empty except for a link to the app store. I clicked on it, surprised when it brought up a personal attack alarm app.
Flynn: Got it?
Me: Yeah. Looks good.
Flynn: I thought so. Once it’s set up it will send a text automatically if you need to use the alarm. You can send the alarm with just three thumb swipes.
Me: To the police?
Flynn: No. You choose who it gets sent to. I thought it would be good for when you’re at work.
Me: It will be. Thanks for thinking about it.
Flynn: No probs. You looking forward to tomorrow?
Me: Yeah. Neve was a bit weird earlier though.
Flynn: She’s always weird! She’s probably been driven mad being here all day with just mum and dad ;-)
Me: Fair enough. You worked all day?
Flynn: Since 11. It was alright though. Everyone just wanted to have a good time.
Me: I’m looking forward to having a few days off work. I need a break from the lonely pensioners and the dirty old men buying their dirty magazines!
Flynn: That’s the second time you’ve mentioned porn tonight…you OK?! :-P
Me: Thanks for pointing that out…not embarrassing at all!
Flynn: It made me laugh. So…do you have much of a selection of that type of magazine then?
Me: I think this is where this conversation ends!
Flynn: :( and it was just getting so interesting!
Me: See you tomorrow!
The banter in his texts made me laugh – and feel more than a bit confused. It had started with something serious but, by the end, it really felt like Flynn was flirting with me. I scrolled back though the message thread, and, with each text I re-read, felt that this wasn’t the Flynn I was used to…but I liked it.
Picturing him, I lay back with a smile. The phone chirped again.
Flynn: Night Cass
Me: Night Flynn
I was clearly not going to get much sleep again that night.
With one bag slung over my shoulder and the other one in the opposite hand, I angled myself so that I could kiss Mum goodbye through the car window. “Have a great time. See you on Saturday!” I looked past Mum and smiled at Mike. “Bring me a stick of rock back!” I was sure there was a glimmer of a smile in return. The car pulled away and I made my way to Neve’s front door. Before I even got to ring the bell, the door opened and I was confronted by the Peters family, all raucously singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas at me. I laughed at their complete lack of inhibitions and gave Neve a hug.
“Happy Christmas Day, Cass!” she said, with a huge grin plastered across her face.
“What do you mean? It’s Boxing Day.”
“Not at 22 New Road it isn’t! We postponed yesterday and so you get to have a second Christmas!”
I didn’t understand what Neve meant until Steph explained. “We thought, as Flynn was working all day yesterday, that we would move Christmas to today instead. I hope you don’t mind eating a second lot of turkey and Christmas pudding!” She breezed down the hall towards the kitchen as Flynn took my bags from me with a bow.
“These will be in your room, milady.” He easily ran up the stairs two at a time and I caught myself just watching him, enjoying even the merest glimpse of his Converse as he turned into Neve’s room, whilst she started removing my coat.
“You look really nice, Cass. That blue brings out the colour in your eyes,” she said before whispering “and your boobs look great in it.” Although I was used to Neve commenting on my boobs, the fact that Flynn was now within earshot made me flustered. Maybe I had subconsciously thought of him when I put my favourite push-up bra on underneath the V-neck top that morning? Maybe surviving the four days was going to be harder than I thought, if my brain was going to link everything back to Flynn? Harder? Even thinking the word made me blush. I’m done for.
“Umm, thanks. You look good too. Are those new jeans?”
Neve gave a quick pirouette and stuck her bum out saucily. “Thanks. Mum got me them when we went into town.” She pulled me into the lounge and we crashed down onto the sofa. “God, Cass, we are going to have such a good time!”
Neve’s prophecy turned out to be true. The day passed in a blur of eating, game-playing, eating, present-opening and more eating. Neve’s parents had even bought me a stocking filled with small gifts so that I wouldn’t feel left out. By the time we got to nine o’ clock, I was tired but happy. We were all sat, in bloated contentment, in front of the television, watching one of those game shows designed to show off the comedians who make up the teams.
At the sound of his laughter, I stole a glance across at Flynn, who sat at the other end of the sofa, Neve sandwiched between us. I imagined running my fingers through the dishevelled spikes of his now shorter hair. Even though I wasn’t looking for long, I got caught. Why, oh why couldn’t I keep my eyes off him? He gave me a shy smile but I looked away, embarrassed, and pretended to focus on the screen again.
When the programme ended, Simon thanked us all for being ‘delightful company’ but declared himself too tired to stay up any longer. Steph got up, kissed Flynn and Neve goodnight and then gave me a hug. I told her what a lovely time I’d had, and I meant it utterly sincerely. It had been the best Christmas Day ever, even if it was a day late. When Neve started squirming next to me, I got a horrible feeling that she was going to
suggest that we go upstairs too. And that would mean no more Flynn.
“I need to get out of these jeans as I can’t feel my legs. I think I’ve put on ten stone today. You might have to cut me out of them!” She patted her non-existent tummy and bloated her cheeks. “You know what this means? Pyjama time! Come on, Cass!” Neve pretty much dragged me upstairs. I know this probably sounds mad but I didn’t want to put my pyjamas on and go back down. I would feel too self-conscious and there was absolutely no way I was leaving Neve’s room without a bra on. As Neve wriggled out of the offending jeans, I took my pyjamas into her en-suite and considered my choices. I opted for leaving the bra on under the pyjamas, thankful that the vest top had wide enough shoulders to hide the straps.
When we got downstairs, I noticed that Flynn was where we left him but had taken off the black jumper he was wearing, leaving just his dark grey tee shirt. Moulding his chest. Clinging to his upper arms. Oh God.
Within minutes of resuming our previous seats, Neve started moving around and pouting.
“Go sit in the chair, Flynn. I can’t get comfy here.”
“No.” He didn’t even look at her.
“Pleeeasse. I’ll love you forever,” she added in a sickly-sweet tone.
“No. I can see the screen better from here. You move.”
“I don’t want to. And, anyway, me and Cass always sit on the sofa.”
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