Curve

by Nicola Hudson

  “What about Matt’s sister?” Neve said, almost jumping out of her chair.

  “What about her?” asked Flynn.

  “Rob made her give him a blow job at Matt’s New Year’s Eve party. Matt and Rob fell out over it.” As Neve told Flynn, I remembered wondering if Rob had forced her too.

  “Did he definitely force her?” Flynn asked.

  “Well, that was what everyone said. She’s a nice kid, not one of those girls that you expect to be caught doing something like that. Apparently she’s never had a boyfriend.” It sounded like Rob did have a type after all. “Let me find it.” Neve searched through Facebook again, pointing out the comments made by a number of people who had been at the party. Interestingly, neither Matt nor his sister, Mia, had active Facebook or Twitter accounts.

  “So, do I tell Kate about this?” I asked.

  “Of course. This is evidence that he is a sick monster,” Neve emphatically replied.

  “I know, but I’m not sure it’s fair to drag her into it. What if they expect her to get up in court?” If it was the other way round, I’m not sure I could do it.

  “Cass is right. She can’t just go telling the police this. We need to think it through first. I think you should discuss it with your mum first and see what she has to say.”

  “OK. I don’t want to mess someone else’s life up.”

  “I think Rob has already done that,” was Neve’s pointed reply.

  “OK, OK. I’ll speak to Mum when I can get her by herself. Now, can we put those pictures away and focus on something else?” I had had enough of talking about it all. I needed some time by myself to get it straight in my head.

  Neve turned the volume back on and we watched TV for a couple of hours. Flynn spent the time stroking my arm and my back or playing with my fingers. There was none of the heat of being turned on, just the warmth of knowing that I was loved and cared for.

  As his fingertips explore me, I feel the familiar burning sensation start. Flynn smiles at me, making me want to kiss him until we forgot who we are. My fingers twist at his soft hair when he leans down and takes my breast in his mouth, tugging and sucking at it until I can barely breathe. One of his hands caresses the side of my face whilst the other snakes down between us until it reaches my knickers.

  I run my fingers across the top of his back, tracing every muscle and contour, before gripping his shoulders. The tension builds inside me as my head thrashes back against the pillow, desperate for release.

  I feel him move upwards, levering more weight on me, his legs trapping mine. I open my eyes and look up at him.

  It’s not Flynn.

  It’s Rob.

  I hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after my nightmare and so I spent the early hours of the morning online, browsing some of the support groups I had looked at before. It turned out that I was lucky not to have experienced more nightmares.

  Flynn popped in to see me in the shop and offered to stay with me so that Mike could have a couple of hours off, thus earning him some Brownie points. It also meant we got to spend a little more time together before he returned to Uni that afternoon. For work, it was quite relaxing. There was no mention of the trial, mainly idle conversation.

  As we were stacking boxes of washing powder, Flynn surprised me by asking “What are you doing for your birthday?”

  “How do you know my birthday is coming up?” I countered.

  “Neve’s been driving me mad, wanting to know what I’m going to get you. Did you really think that she wouldn’t have told me?”

  “I suppose not. I’m not doing anything. I’ve asked Mum for money ready for Uni. She couldn’t really top the Christmas present, could she?”

  “But it’s your eighteenth, Cass. You have to mark it somehow,” he insisted.

  “I’m really not bothered about it. Funnily enough, I’ve had other things on my mind,” I snapped, feeling a bit annoyed at being pushed by Flynn in this way. He walked over and tugged me into his arms.

  “Don’t get wound up. I just wanted to know what you were doing. If you haven’t got any plans, why don’t we make some? What would you like to do?”

  “Honestly Flynn, I don’t want to do anything. I really don’t feel like celebrating.” I felt cruel, raining on his parade when it seemed like he might have an idea already planned, but I wasn’t going to go through the motions, just to make him feel better.

  “Message received, loud and clear,” he replied, kissing me on the forehead. “Now, are you going to show me some of those dodgy magazines you once told me about?” And, just like that, he averted any prolonged discomfort or tension.

  Mike went out for a rare drink with one of his mates that evening, meaning that, once Sylvie had gone to bed, it was just Mum and me left in the lounge. I took the opportunity to fill her in about Matt’s sister.

  “That’s a hard call, Cass. What if she hasn’t spoken to her parents about it? What if she doesn’t want to tell anyone?”

  “I know. If I was in her shoes, this would be the worst thing that could happen. But, Mum, what if I don’t tell Kate and Rob gets off? He could do , or worse, to someone else.” I already had pangs of guilt about not reporting the first time he attacked me, even though Kate had said that it would have been unlikely to have ended with him being charged.

  She hugged me. “Cass, first and foremost, I’m your mum and, if getting Mia involved is what it takes, then that’s what we do. Do you want me to speak to Kate?”

  “Can I think about it? Once it’s done, it can’t be undone, can it?”

  “Of course, love.” She smiled and hesitated before continuing. “Can I ask you something else?”

  “Yeah?” I replied, wondering what was on her mind.

  “How are things going with Flynn? I can see that you’re back on again,” she said, with a slight trace of irony.

  “They’re good. To be fair, he has been really great through all of this. It’s me who has been a bit of a cow.”

  “You’ve gone through a lot, Cass. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Now I know this is going to be embarrassing,” she started, making me cringe, “but how are things, umm, sexually?” I wondered at what point parents stop talking about your sex life. Or does it just stop being embarrassing?

  “Mum! It’s fine. Like it was last time we talked.”

  “But that was a while ago, Cass, and things have changed since then. Lots of women have difficulties with intimacy after being attacked,” she hurriedly explained, “and I just hope that you haven’t had any problems like that. You can always talk to me, you know that, don’t you?”

  I smiled. “Of course I know that. And, for the record, but without wanting to go into any details, it’s all fine in that area.” Hugging her, to avoid the embarrassment of looking at her, I muttered into her hair, “I love you Mum.”

  “Ditto, Cass.” She kissed me. “Now, I’m sure you want to go and talk to that boyfriend of yours. Go on, I’ll be fine down here. EastEnders will be starting soon.”

  I went upstairs and called Flynn. He answered almost immediately.

  “Hi, babe.” Until it was said in his sexy voice, I would have thought that I would have prickled at being called ‘babe’ but, surprisingly, it just made me melt inside.

  “Hi, you. What you been up to?”

  “Oh, nothing much. I got on with my essay, played some Call of Duty with Jez, that’s about it.” His vague response confused me. Flynn had decided that morning to go back to Uni earlier than originally planned and I had assumed that he must have had a lot of work to complete. But he would rather be sat in his flat, playing computer games with Jez than here?

  “Oh,” I said, trying to keep the judgement out of my voice. “I spoke to Mum about Matt’s sister.”

  “What did she have to say?” There was a note of trepidation to his voice, as though he was worried about her response.

  “She agreed that it could be horrible for Mia but she wants to make sure that Rob gets convicted. I’ve
said that I’ll think about it for a couple of days before we get in touch with Kate.”

  “Sounds sensible. There’s no hurry though, is there, Cass? You’ve got months until the trial. It’s best to be sure that you’re doing the right thing.”

  “Have you changed your mind?” The whole issue was difficult enough, without those close to me changing their minds about what was the right thing to do.

  “No, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t rush into it, that’s all. Don’t get upset, Cass.”

  “I’m not upset.” But my tone indicated that I was being far from honest.

  “Look, I’ve still got to finish my essay. Can I call you tomorrow?”

  “Fine. Speak to you then,” I answered, more than a little abruptly.

  “‘Night Cass.” His voice sounded hurt.

  “‘Night Flynn.” I hung up the phone.

  And cried.

  On the morning of my birthday, Mike opened the shop so that Mum and Sylvie could share their presents with me before school. Mum gave me a cheque for a sum I knew she couldn’t afford, so we argued when I refused to accept it. Sylvie had made me a treasure box to take to university, crafted from an old shoe-box and lovingly decorated with every plastic gem and glittery artefact known to man. She had put her favourite ornament in there: a small china cat. The idea that she would give me something she loved so much made me cry, which then upset her.

  I walked to school, wondering what more joy life could throw at me. Neve was waiting for me, with a strange look on her face, in the common room.

  “Happy birthday!” she yelled, launching a party popper in my face and presenting me with a beautifully wrapped gift. I opened the wrapping to reveal a white leather case for my tablet.

  Try as I might, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Thanks, Neve. It’s beautiful.” I returned her hug and took my coat off. When I got to my locker, I saw that it was covered in a series of Post-its, spelling out ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’, ending with one which said ‘See you outside at 3.30 xx’.

  “He made me come in extra early to do it!” Neve cried, her face contorted with giddy excitement. “He said I have to make sure that you are there. Or else!”

  I guessed that she didn’t know that things were tense between me and Flynn, or else she wouldn’t have got involved in this. I carefully collated the Post-its before putting them into my bag.

  “Well, thank you. I will make sure that I’m there. I wouldn’t want you getting into trouble, would I?” I replied jokily, although my heart was filled with dread at the idea of seeing Flynn and having to pretend that everything was OK. I would have thought that he had got the message that I wasn’t very happy from the lack of contact between us since the weekend.

  Apparently not.

  Thankfully I had a full day of lessons so there wasn’t much time to sit and mope, or get wound up at the way Flynn did not appear to have listened to what I had said about not wanting to make a big deal out of my birthday. As I sat in my last lesson of the day, listening to Ms O’Brien talking about what the theatre was like in Shakespeare’s time, I willed the lesson not to end.

  I knew that I was probably going to fall out with Flynn, because of last weekend and the terrible mood I was in, and, deep down, I didn’t want that to happen. I was pissed off, but not enough to end what had only just been regained so I decided to keep quiet and go with the flow. I would find a way to vent my frustration that wouldn’t involve jeopardising our future.

  Neve walked out of school with me to where Flynn was stood, leaning against the passenger door of his car and, after a hurried hi and ‘bye, she left us. I must admit that he looked beyond sexy and my heart started tumbling about in my chest at the mere sight of him. Damn, why did he have to look so good when I wanted to be annoyed with him? He gave me a half-smile.

  “Hi, Cass,” he said, without moving from the door. “We need to talk.” Everything that that simple statement implied caused my heart to stop. “Get in the car. We’ll go somewhere quiet.”

  Maybe the day could get worse.

  I had no choice but to do as he asked and get into the car. There was a glimmer of hope from the way he held the door open for me and touched the small of my back as I got in, but I guessed that it was probably an automatic response. As we drove into town, he didn’t look at me or attempt to touch me once.

  I didn’t know where we were going and couldn’t prolong the inevitable any further. “Is everything OK? I’m getting really mixed signals here.”

  “What do you mean?” was his terse response.

  I took a deep breath. “Well, there was the Post-its trick this morning which seemed like this was all lovey-dovey, but now you’re all silent and tense. What is it we need to talk about?”

  Flynn moved one hand from the steering wheel to briefly squeeze the hands I was unconsciously wringing in my lap. “Sorry Cass. I’m just nervous, that’s all. Can it wait until we get there? It’s only a couple of minutes.” I was even more confused by the combination of hand-holding and admission of nervousness. What had he got to be nervous about? As we pulled into the multi-storey car park we had gone to on the night before he went back to Uni, a completely irrational thought came into my head. Was he going to propose? Surely not: I was only just eighteen; I was going to be moving to the other end of the country in six months; I had a mountain of issues; and we hadn’t even had sex yet. No, that couldn’t be it, could it?

  He parked in the same spot as last time but the view was decidedly less romantic this time around. Or was that just the panic in me, colouring my perspective? As I undid my seatbelt and turned to him, I tried to compose my face into something that looked close to normal.

  “Cass, I have a confession,” was his awful opening line. No birthday well wishes, no small talk about my day. Clearly no marriage proposal. Thank God. “I’ve lied to you.” What?

  My heart felt like a stone weighing me down, rendering me unable to move or respond. “I didn’t go back to Uni last Sunday afternoon.” I thought back to my suspicions about his behaviour.

  “Why?”

  “I went to see Matt,” he revealed.

  “What?” Why on Earth would you want to see him?”

  “You need to hear me out here, Cass. After you had gone home on Saturday, I was thinking about what it would feel like if it was Neve, not Mia. I’d want to know that this might be coming, so that I could try and protect her as much as possible.” I knew that he was telling the truth; he would do whatever it took to protect Neve. “So I told him that Rob would probably get off if what happened to Mia wasn’t shared with the court. Of course he went ballistic. It turns out his mum and dad don’t know anything about it. So we had a few strong words and I left.”

  I could see that he had acted out of the best of intentions, but I failed to see how this had helped in any way. “Why didn’t you tell me that was where you were going?”

  “I knew you would say not to go. I wouldn’t go against your wishes, so I didn’t tell you.”

  “I think you’ll find that’s called lying by omission, Flynn.” I almost spat the words out.

  “I know, Cass. Trust me, I know it was lying. That’s why things have been so awkward this week. I hate the idea that I lied to you but I wanted to tell you in person.”

  “Gee, thanks. I feel so much better for that.” Sarcasm, the last resort of the emotionally devastated.

  “It’s not all bad, Cass. Matt got back in touch with me yesterday. He’s willing to testify against Rob if you don’t mention Mia.” I could barely believe what I heard.

  “What?”

  “He has said that he will speak to the police about Rob, including showing some texts and stuff that should help your case, if you don’t say anything about Mia. He doesn’t want her to have to go through everyone knowing.”

  “Really? He’s willing to do that against his best friend?” I was filled with disbelief.

  “Yeah. I’d do it for Neve. No question. Apparently they aren’t mates any
more anyway.” This was monumental. It would throw all sorts of doubt on Rob that would make the court more likely to believe me, wouldn’t it?

  Flynn took my hands and looked at me, his blue eyes pleading for absolution.

  “I’m sorry for lying, and for not speaking to you about it first, Cass. Forgive me?” I knew that this was a defining moment in the future of our relationship; in many ways it would define whether there was a future at all.

  “I don’t want us to lie to each other, Flynn. You told me early on that we needed to be honest,” I started, watching his eyes start to glisten at my uncompromising words. “but I know you were only trying to help and it all turned out for the best.” I leaned over and kissed him.

  Hard.

  After a couple of minutes we pulled back, our heavy breathing in unison.

  “Thank you,” I said, knowing that those two words did little to convey how much his intervention meant to me.

  He kissed my knuckles. “OK, Cinderella. We need to go out and celebrate.”

  “Nooo! I said I don’t want-”

  “You’re going out with your wonderful boyfriend and that’s it. I’ll drop you at home and then pick you up again at six. OK?” His voice had a masterful tone which, I must admit, I found sexy.

  “OK,” I said, keeping my smile to myself. Maybe I would treat myself tonight.

  By six, I had managed to shower, curl my hair and generally make myself look like someone who was a willing participant in her birthday celebrations. Mum had left a note saying that she and Sylvie had gone to the cinema, so I had enjoyed having the house to myself, turning my music up loud and dancing around in my underwear. As I went to answer Flynn’s knock, my mood was the polar opposite of this morning.

  “Hello, sexy,” I greeted him, pulling him inside the door and then backing him up to the wall. “I just wanted to say thank you again for being such a wonderful boyfriend.” Standing on my tiptoes, I leant into him and teased him with a series of tiny kisses along his chin. Putting his arms around me, he removed the distance between us, making me lean on him for support, and pushed his tongue into my mouth. As we fought each other for control of the kiss, I got so turned on that I almost begged him to take me upstairs there and then. But, when I started to unbutton his shirt, desperate to feel him, he pushed me away.