by E. M. Leya
"I didn't expect to have feelings for him. I've never even thought about dating a man before. There's just something about him. Her. Doesn't matter which one. I'm attracted to both." Les's cheeks heated with embarrassment talking to someone about it.
"You're not gay?" She looked shocked.
Les laughed. "Why, do I look like I am?"
She shook her head and smiled. "No, I didn't mean that. It's just I assumed since you were the one he called for help that there was something between you, thus, I thought you were gay."
"I don't know what I am. I've never felt anything like this. Maybe I'm bisexual. Maybe things with Ax will progress and I'll find I can't handle it. I really don't know. The thought of being with a man doesn't bother me. I've just never had the thought until now. Until him." Les stared at the bed, his gaze traveling over the beaten and broken body. His heart ached each time he looked at him. "We've known each other a few weeks, and in that time, he's become like my best friend. It's hard to explain the connection I feel with him." Les sighed. "Sorry. You probably don't want to hear about all this."
"I don't mind. It's been a long time since I've seen him with anyone. He's dated, but nothing serious. It's nice to see someone look at him like you do. Gives me hope he won't be lonely forever." Sarah stretched. "Do you want to run home for a bit? I have to leave later tonight, but I'm here all day. Why don't you go and get a shower and take a nap?"
Les glanced at the clock, then back to Ax. He would probably sleep most the day. "Yeah, a shower sounds great. I'd like to talk him into moving into my place until he finds a new apartment. I don't want him going back to his. I talked to the cop last night who was there when he was found. They think it was his neighbor's son who might have done this. I was hoping to talk to Ax once he's a bit more alert and see if he minds me going in and moving him out."
"That's a sweet idea. I agree. However, he is welcome to stay with my family for a while if he needs to. I don't want to put you out." She shrugged. "I have a spare room, but I also have twin four-year-old boys."
"I don't mind him at my place while he heals." He should talk to Jeff, but he'd deal with him later. He doubted Jeff would have any issues with it.
"We'll talk to him and see what he wants. Either way, I agree, he needs to move. I can have my husband help you move him if Ax will let us. I'm sure I can gather a few others to help." She stretched her legs out in front of her. "I'll let you bring it up when you come back. Might be best coming from you. I'm just the overbearing sister who worries too much."
"He's lucky to have you." Les smiled. He really liked her.
"Same with you. Maybe between the two of us, we can get him through this."
Les nodded, but as he stared at Ax sleeping soundly, he doubted it would be that easy. This attack was personal. It wasn't something you just forgot. No matter what, he'd be there for him, no matter how long it took.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Les looked around Ax's bedroom, trying to decide where to start packing. It was strange being in the middle of someone else's belongings without them being there. Sarah and her husband were out in the living room and kitchen packing, but both agreed they didn't want to be the ones to pack the bedroom. Sarah joked that there were just some things a sister shouldn't see. Les didn't mind. He was just glad that Ax agreed to let them pack and move him over to his place.
When Les first brought the idea up, Ax worried he'd be in the way. Then he worried Jeff would be upset. One excuse after the other, each shot down. Jeff was happy to have him stay with them, especially after he found out about the attack. Ax tried to get them to wait until he was better, but the doctors wanted him on bedrest for at least another week and there was no way Les was going to let Ax's stuff sit in an empty apartment that long. And no way in hell was Les going to watch Ax go back home after what happened.
He set the boxes on the bed and tried to figure out where to start. The closet would be easy. Most of that he'd leave on hangers and just transfer them to the closet at his place. There was one dresser, so he started there. Opening the top drawer, he started to pull out socks, and underwear, pausing for a minute when he found a mix of women's panties among the briefs. He rubbed the satin between his fingers, trying to imagine Ax's slim body wearing them. The thought of those long legs and pale skin with the dark blue satin caused his cock to stir.
"Shit." Les dropped them in a box. He couldn't be thinking this way, but nothing stopped the images from forming. He imagined male Ax in the briefs, using the same image of long, perfect legs and pale skin. Desire still stirred, but he admitted to himself that the satin did more for him than the cotton briefs. More so because of the feel and sheen of it.
As he continued packing, he wondered if that was what Ax had been wearing that night with the robe. If it was, he wouldn't have left so quickly. Maybe it was a good thing he'd been hesitant to show him what was underneath.
Opening the bottom drawer of the dresser, Les smiled. He'd found the naughty drawer. He kneeled, hesitant to look through it, but Ax would know he'd find it when packing. Les was actually touched at the trust he showed by letting Les do this for him.
He picked up a small vibrator, no bigger than a thick marker, trying to imagine it being used. Les had never played with any toys before. His sexual experiences were simple and vanilla. There was an excitement at the thought of using some of these things. As he put things in the box, he found dildos, butt plugs, cock rings, and some things he couldn't even guess what they were used for. His mind raced with images of Ax using things. It both intrigued and scared him to think about it.
It also made him question if he could really handle this. When he thought about dating another man, he was calm and the idea didn't freak him out, but when it came down to really being together, to the sexual part, he wondered if he would react differently once he was faced with a hard cock pressing against him instead of a woman's softness.
It was the one thing he worried about most. The attraction to Ax was intense, but Les feared hurting him if he couldn't go through with things. Ax had been rejected before. Les didn't want to be the next person to hurt him. Not that he would mean to. He would still want to be friends.
He opened the last drawer and sucked in a breath. Lace and silk. Knowing right away what they were, he lifted one up. It was a black teddy with lots of lace and silk. He moved a couple others aside. It seemed Ax had one in almost every color. Each was different, the cut, the lace, even one leather. He rubbed the leather one against his cheek, imagining what Ax would look like in them. His favorite was a blue one that would match Ax's eyes. The colors almost matched perfectly. He could imagine long blond curls cascading down the back. He shifted, trying to ease his arousal. What other secrets did Ax have in here?
He sighed as he finished cleaning out the dresser. He needed to talk to Ax. They hadn't brought up the kiss or anything personal like that since the attack. Les wasn't even sure Ax would want anything now, but they would talk when they had time. He was due to come home in a day or two. That would give them plenty of time to see where the other stood on things. He wasn't going to rush.
As he started picking up things on shelves, he debated if he'd need to take a couple days off work when Ax came home. He missed one day staying at the hospital, but he'd been in the rest of the week. If Ax was home by Monday, he wondered if he dared take a couple more vacation days or if it would seem like he was being too overbearing.
"Ugh…" He shoved the sheets off the bed and into a bag he had for dirty clothes. He hated how he was questioning everything, doubting everything. This wasn't him.
Les kneeled to look under the bed. He found a box full of photos, but didn't snoop through them. He'd seen enough of Ax's private things, and oddly, the photos seemed even more personal that the sex toys.
He pushed the box aside to carry out, and looked around. There wasn't much left other than a few pairs of shoes in the closet and the furniture. Ax's entire life was going to be shoved into a small trailer, half
moved to Les's house, the other put in storage. This couldn't be easy for Ax.
"Hey, Sarah?" Les stepped out into the living room. "Do we have any more boxes? I've got to get his shoes."
She stood from where she was tossing CDs into a box and brushed her hands off on her jeans. "Um, I think we used the last one in the kitchen. I've got some heavy-duty garbage bags."
"That'll work." Les caught them as she tossed them at him.
"Is that all that's left?" She walked over and peeked into the room. "He never did have a lot of stuff." She eyed the shoes. "You know, it should really bother me that he can wear shit like this and I can't.
"You're really great to support him like you do." Les sat down on the bed.
"I love him. I hate that my parents can't be more…" She threw up her hands. "What kind of parent doesn't come to the hospital when their child is hurt? Dad said he would have come if Ax was beaten up for any other reason, but because he was dressed in girl's clothes when it happened, they won't even acknowledge he's hurt. It pisses me off. I don't know how Ax still goes over there. I would have cut them from my life a long time ago. I kinda have. I don't take my twins over very often. I just can't understand their hate."
"My dad's a lot like that. My roommate is gay, so Dad never comes over. He's always giving me shit about finding a normal roommate. I'd stopped going over very often until recently when they got sick." He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking everything.
"So how will they take it if you date my brother?" She leaned against the wall.
"Not good."
"Does that bother you?"
"Yeah, it does, but it won't change anything. I have my own life to live. They can't decide what makes me happy. I won't change my mind on dating Ax because of their views. My dad's fighting cancer and my mother has dementia, so who I date should be the least of their worries."
Sarah frowned. "You've got a lot on your plate."
"No more than anyone else." However, it did feel as if it all hit at once.
"Ax told me once that he just wanted to be happy. He wanted to find that one right person he could be himself with. He said everyone he tried to date loved one side of his personality, but couldn't love the other. If you get the same look in your eye when Ax is in a dress as you do when he's lying in the hospital bed, then I think you might be that person."
Les blushed. "I didn't realize I was looking at him any certain way."
"See, that's what I mean. You don't see him any different. You just see him. That's all he's ever wanted. Just someone to see him." She came over and bent down, hugging Les gently. "I think you're good for each other. I'll be happy if you two end up dating, and I think you both will be too." She kissed his cheek before stepping from the room.
He watched her go, happy she accepted him, but worried even more that if things didn't work out between Ax and him, that he would be letting her down too.
He fell back on the bed, hating that he was feeling this way and trying to figure out how to just go forward and let life lead him where he was meant to be. If that was with Ax, then great. If not, that would mean there were better things for him.
Just a simple kiss and he was so confused. He hated that. Never had anyone fucked with his head this way. It was as if once he finally admitted to himself that he wanted to see where things would lead, his mind went full speed ahead, wanting everything now. It was driving him crazy because he couldn't have it now. He didn't even know if he could ever have it.
One day at a time. That's how he had to look at it. He wouldn't rush, no matter what his heart and mind wanted to do. First, he needed to see that Ax got better, then see where the two of them might go.
As he picked up a box, he let out a long sigh. Easier said than done.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Are you sure you don't mind?" Ax slid his feet out of his shoes.
"Would you rather go to your sister's?" He grinned, already knowing the answer.
"No, you know I wouldn't. I just feel bad. You're giving up your room, your bed, everything for me."
"It's not a big deal. I end up crashed out on the couch more nights than not, and I'm at work all day. You need to heal. You can sleep and be lazy in comfort at my place while you do that. We've already moved you out of your place, and you are in no condition to be going out hunting for a new apartment." Les bent down and pulled off Ax's socks so he wouldn't have to bend. "Stop worrying. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you here."
"And your roommate?" Les stared down at him.
"Just got back from a conference in Vegas. He's hardly home. He has some new boyfriend. Thankfully, this guy has his own place. Jeff knows you're staying and is just fine with it. He remembers you from the bar." Les placed his hands on Ax's knees, staring up at his still bruised face. His blue eyes were surrounded with fading red as they started to heal. "I'll help you hunt for your own place as soon as you get better."
Ax took a shallow breath, clutching his braced wrist to his chest, the physical pain he was in was obvious to anyone. "I hate that you have to do all this for me."
"I haven't done anything."
"You moved me."
"I would have helped you anyway, even if you'd been there." Les stood and leaned against the wall.
"I hate this."
"I know you do. Anyone would."
"Thanks," Ax whispered.
"Anytime." Les smiled. "Want to lie down?"
"Yeah." Ax turned slightly to settle on the bed and cringed.
"Shit, how can I help?"
"You can't. There is nothing we can do to make this easier. I swear my ribs are what hurt the most. I can't move at all without it pulling on them one way or another."
"Can we wrap them?"
"Not if I want to breathe."
"Breathing is a good thing. We want that."
"I just have to fight through it. The doctor said I could wrap it loosely, but not to keep it wrapped. I guess it can cause pneumonia or something." Ax grunted as he lay back, his teeth gripping his bottom lip as he seemed to struggle through the pain.
"Easy. Don't get too comfy. I've got those burgers we got for dinner."
"You sure you don't mind me eating in your bed?"
"It's your bed until you get better. So, do you mind eating in your bed?" Les grinned as he rushed out to grab the bag of food they'd gotten on the way home. "Here we go." He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out a cheeseburger. "Greasy and nowhere near as healthy as hospital food."
"Exactly why I want it." Ax inhaled. "It even smells unhealthy. Glad I got two."
Les pulled his own burger out and set it on his lap. "So, I wasn't sure what you would need here, but I have your laptop and some of your CDs and shit in the box over there." He gestured to the corner of the bedroom. "The top two dresser drawers are yours. I moved mine to the lower drawers, and believe it or not, there was room in my closet for all your clothes." Les grinned at Ax. "I have to admit, it's going to take some time to get used to seeing high heels next to my boots."
"Shit, you didn't have to bring it all over. I didn't mean to take up your space."
"You aren't. I'm just teasing you. There is enough room or everything. There's a bag in the bathroom with all your stuff in it. Honestly, just make yourself at home."
Ax nodded. "Thanks again for all this. You didn't have to do it at all. I mean…" He sighed. "It's just weird, ya know. I feel like we just met, but at the same time it's like you're my best friend and we've known each other forever. I didn't even hesitate to call you from the hospital, but when I stop and think about it, I should have been calling Carl or someone I've known for years."
Les covered his hand with his own. "I'm glad you called me." He took a deep breath as he pulled his hand back. "Eat. You have to be tired after everything today."
"I haven't done anything."
"The walk into the apartment was more movement than you've had in a week."
"True, but I feel okay. Well, as okay as I can feel." Ax t
ook a bite of his burger.
"The doctor said to take it easy." Les unwrapped his burger and took a bit.
Ax licked a glob of ketchup from his bottom lip. "I'm okay if I don't bend, don't lift my arms above my head, and don't sit down too hard. My balls look like huge purple plums."
Les hissed as he pressed his legs together. "Too much information."
"Sorry." Ax gave him a weak smile. "I'm just glad there wasn't more damage. The doctors freaked me out the first couple of days running all those tests. I've had my balls fondled and looked at more times than I could ever want. They said there wasn't any permanent damage, but I wouldn't be comfortable for a week or two."
"I wish I could kill whoever did this to you." Les was disgusted the cops thought they knew who did it, but had no proof. Ax thought he knew who it was, but his memory was so spotty when it came to that night, they couldn't use his testimony to bring charges.
"I believe in karma. What comes around goes around. I just hate that I might not be there to see them get it." Ax reached for the soda on the nightstand and flinched.
"Here." Les handed it to him. "We should have gotten one of those hospital trays so you could wheel things closer."
"I just have to get used to not twisting for a few days."
"Weeks."
"Ugh, I can't go weeks like this. I'll go insane."
"I'll help."
"But you shouldn't have to."
Les understood him not wanting to need the help, but it didn't change the fact he did. "It will go fast. You can sit on the couch all day and catch up on everything you've missed on TV."
"I guess I should be glad my work is being good about this. Two weeks off isn't something most bosses would be happy about."
"True, but you are using your sick time for most of it." Les tossed his burger wrapper in the trash. "Guess I should let you rest."
Ax shook his head. "Stay, unless you have stuff to do. I can't sleep."
"Want to go out and watch TV or something?"
Ax shifted on the bed, resting his drink beside him. "Who cleaned out my bedroom?"
