by E. M. Leya
Les bit his cheek as he remembered everything he'd found. "I packed your room while your sister did the kitchen."
"Thank God." Ax let out a long breath. "I'm still as embarrassed as fuck, but I can handle you seeing my shit better than I could my sister. I wondered about it the last couple days."
"Don't be embarrassed. We all have a naughty drawer." Les glanced at his dresser, realizing he hadn't hidden his own stuff before Ax took over his room. He didn't have much more than a Fleshlight, but it was enough for him to worry about Ax finding it.
"As big as mine?" Ax blushed.
"Well, no." Les laughed. "You had a lot more than I do, but you like a lot of things I've never tried. It makes sense you'd have vibrators and dildos. I've never used them. Jeff has a lot more than I do. Makes sense when you're gay."
"I guess, but it's still embarrassing. I'm sorry you had to do that."
"Would you quit being sorry? I'm glad to help you. You said just a few minutes ago you feel like we are best friends even though we haven't known each other long. I do too. There is this connection between us. I can't explain it. I've never felt it with any other person. It's not even sexual. It's just you. I need to be around you, talk to you." Les ducked his head as he tried to put into words what his feelings were. "It scares me if I think about it too much."
Ax reached out and placed his casted hand over Les's. "Because I'm male?"
Les shrugged. "Some, but not really. I don't know honestly where I am on that. The thought that I could be bisexual doesn't freak me out. It's just I've never desired another man until you. Part of me wants to believe it's because you are a beautiful female, but then I find myself feeling things for you when you are male. I'm just really confused, and I'm scared to follow up on my urges because what if I do and I can't follow through? I don't want to hurt you if I can't be what you need." He stood and walked to the other side of the room and looked back at Ax. "But at the same time, the thought of not being with you scares me just as much."
Ax nodded. "I appreciate that you don't want to hurt me, but to be honest, it would already hurt if you were gone. I can't see us not being friends."
"Friends?" Les's stomach churned at the thought that might be all Ax wanted. He realized how bad he did want more between them. He focused on his breathing, preparing for the possibility that he'd read Ax wrong and he wasn't interested in him for anything more than friendship.
"At least. That's what makes this so hard for me." Ax stared at Les. "I want more. I want a lot more. But at the same time, I don't want to lose our friendship. Do you know how many friendships die because people try a relationship? I don't want that to be us. I've never met anyone like you, Les. Just being around you feels right. If us being more than friends risks our friendship…" He shook his head and sighed. "I'm just as confused as you are." He held out his hand to Les. "Come here."
With his stomach in knots, Les stepped to the bed, taking Ax's uninjured hand in his as he sat down beside him.
Ax linked their fingers and smiled. "There is no reason we have to rush anything. I'm stuck in bed for at least the next week. We have time to see where things go. Living together will give us a chance to get to know each other better." He gave Les's hand a gentle squeeze. "We could both be worrying about nothing. If you can't be with a man, then it means we just stay friends."
"But I think I can be," Les whispered.
"When you look at me right now, what do you see?"
Les reached up with his free hand and traced one of the bruises along Ax's jaw. "I see a man with the most amazing eyes, the softest skin, beautiful long hair, and perfect lips." He traced his finger over Ax's bottom lip. "When I see you in either form, I like what I see. I want to kiss you just as bad now as I did the other night when you were in your fluffy robe."
Ax smiled. "I want to kiss you, too."
Les leaned forward, closing the space between them until their lips touched. The initial contact was just as electrifying as he remembered. A wave of heat and desire rushed through him. This time, he didn't pull away like before. He stayed, teasing his mouth over Ax's, wanting more.
Ax opened for him, sliding his tongue over Les's bottom lip before delving deeper, taking their kiss to the next level. It was strange to feel their chins rub against each other, the bristle of a day's growth of beard growing, reminding him that this wasn't a woman he was kissing. The roughness of it turned him on.
Les wrapped an arm gently around Ax's shoulder, keeping their other hands linked. He wanted to pull them closer, but couldn't with Ax's injuries. He lost himself in the kiss, moaning softly when Ax finally pulled back.
"Doesn't seem like kissing is an issue." Ax smiled as he leaned back against the pillow.
"Yeah, kissing is definitely okay." More than okay if his body's reaction had anything to do with it. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. "Wow."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." Ax still held his hand. "At least we know my body isn't too injured to respond to something that good."
Les blushed. He liked knowing he had that effect on Ax, but it was what they should do with that response that made him nervous. Could he be with another man sexually? He glanced over at Ax. "This is where I start to get nervous about things."
"What makes you nervous?"
Les shrugged. "The whole guy-guy sex thing I guess."
Ax nodded. "It scares you?"
Les bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to explain. "I don't know. I've never done anything with another guy. I'm worried if you and I do this, I might get so far and find out I don't like it. I mean, yeah, the actual thought of sex scares me, but honestly, I'm more worried about leading you on. I want…" He brushed his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. "I want to date you, but I'm scared that when we get to the sex stuff I might not be able to deal and I'll end up hurting you."
Ax stared at him for a long moment. "Is it the thought of touching another cock that bothers you or is it that you're scared of the actual sex act? You know, like anal sex?"
Les wasn't sure. The thought of having a cock inside him was intimidating, but it didn't disgust him. Even giving a blowjob didn't scare him, though he wasn't so sure he'd be any good at it. "I guess more the actual sex."
Ax smiled as he settled back even more on the bed. "I can understand being scared of it. I was sure it was going to kill me the first time, but it wasn't anywhere as bad as I imagined. The way I see it, we have a couple things in our favor. One, whatever this is between us is intense. I don't want it to end. Two, the way my balls and cock are bruised, we can't do much for a week or two anyway. Three, I'm a bottom. Do you know what that means?"
Les grinned as he nodded. "Of course."
"Okay then, so the way I see it, we take time to keep getting to know each other. We can see how we feel in a week or two and if we want to do more, then we can, if not, then I'm fine going without sex until you're ready. If you aren't ever ready, then we will have to rethink things, but you've warned me going in about your fears, and I know the risks. I'd rather risk being hurt by it not working, than never try and pass up something that could be amazing. And, when and if we do decide to have sex, we only do what you want. I'm not saying I've never topped, but I'm happier bottoming, so unless you want to go there, we never have to." He opened his arms. "Come here." Les lay down beside him, gently resting his head against Ax's shoulder. "This is what I want. To be close to you. To talk late into the night, laugh at stupid jokes, and just get to know each other. I'm not worried about the sex. If you and I are meant to give this a go, the sex will come in time. Preferably when my balls aren't the size of boulders and you can touch me without putting me in tears." He caressed his fingers down Les's arm. "I want you to be honest with me, though. If at any time you don't want to do this, if you should change your mind, then tell me. One of the things I love about being around you is how easy it is to just talk, so don't let that change, no matter what it's about. Okay?"
"Okay."
Les closed his eyes. Being close to Ax seemed so right. He wished he wasn't injured so he could pull him closer and wrap himself around Ax's thin body. "You want this too, right? It's not just me feeling this way? I mean I sorta kissed you out of nowhere the other night."
"It's nothing I haven't wanted to do since the night we met. I wanted to crawl into bed with you the first night."
Les laughed. "It would have freaked me out that soon."
"I know. I'm glad we have to take things slow. My injuries will give us time to get used to this before we decide if we want more." Ax kissed his forehead. "So, since being close to me like this doesn't freak you out, are you still going to sleep on the couch or can we share the bed?"
Les bit his lip. It was a big step, and Jeff would notice. Was he ready to face what being with Ax would mean? His friends, his family, all of them would have to find out eventually. "I'd like that, but if my being beside you hurts you in any way… If I bump you in my sleep, toss and turn too much, anything like that, I go to the couch. Fair?"
"Fair enough. After a week in the hospital bed, I probably won't notice anything. You were joking about your snoring, right?" Ax nudged him teasingly.
Feeling better than he had in a long time, Les gave him an innocent shrug. "I guess you'll find out."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The water washed over Ax's body, soothing his aching muscles. He looked down at his chest, seeing the bruises were fading. They were a dull yellow, hardly noticeable in places with the dim bathroom light. He let the water hit his face, his hair heavy as it hung down his back. He reached up, trying to run his fingers through it, but pain hit him hard as he raised his arms. He gripped his ribs. "Fuck." He was so tired of pain. It didn't matter what he tried to do, his body hurt.
Several deep breaths helped him push the pain back, but it didn't help his hair get clean. He couldn't bend to lean over the sink or tub, and couldn't lift his hands high enough to wash his hair in the shower.
As grateful as he was that the injuries weren't worse, he hated that he couldn't do anything. It was as if he was a child again, having to ask for help for the simplest tasks. Being homebound, he didn't have to bother getting a shirt on or tying his shoes, but other things, like the wrap he'd just taken off his chest to shower, would have to wait to go back on until Jeff or Les showed up. He'd found it helped to wrap it, but he was careful not to keep it on for too long so he didn't end up with lung issues.
Now his hair. He just wanted to wash his hair. He was just done with not being able to move. His ribs were healing, but all it took was one wrong twist and he was in almost as much pain as when the attack happened.
He reached for the soap, working it into a lather, and washing the parts of his body he could reach. When he came to his balls and cock, he carefully moved them to get a look at how they were healing. The constant ache was gone, but they were still sore. He'd woken up with a hard on that morning, proving everything worked like normal, but not only did he have to hide his arousal from Les who had been sleeping beside him, he wasn't sure he dared do anything with it, fearing coming might be too much on his body yet.
He smiled thinking about Les. In the two days he'd been here, they hadn't had a lot of time to really talk. Les got home from work, and by the time they ate and just hung out with Jeff it was time for bed. It was nice having someone in bed beside him, but Les was so worried about hurting him, that he kept a good distance between them. All Ax wanted was to reach over and pull him into his arms.
Les was easy to like, probably easy to fall in love with if Ax allowed himself to. There was just that little bit of hesitation on Les's part that worried him. So far, he'd shown no signs of turning back, but they hadn't really done anything as a couple yet. He wasn't even sure if he could officially say they were a couple.
What would happen when Ax was better and could go out? When he was able to hold Les close at night and let him feel how aroused he made him? Would Les run? Could he really handle being with another man or was he just playing with the idea of something unknown and new?
"Hey, you okay in there?" Les called from outside the bathroom door.
Ax jumped, nearly slipping. He caught himself with a hand on the wall, but paid for it as his chest hitched. "Yeah, water just felt good. I'm almost done."
"No worries. Just making sure," Les yelled back.
With no way to wash his hair, Ax rinsed off and shut off the water. As he stepped out of the tub, he took in his appearance in the full-length mirror. He still had a couple scabs on his jaw, stitches in his chin, and his body was littered with light bruises, but other than that, he didn't look so bad. Nowhere near how he'd looked when he'd seen his face for the first time after the attack.
Once dry, he wrapped the towel around his waist and headed out to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, swallowing a surprised gasp as Les was stripping off his work pants. Ax watched as he bent to pull them off his feet, taking in the curve of his back, the roundness of his ass, the teasing glimpse of his balls where his legs were spread, and the dark hair that covered Les's legs. That was the best. It wasn't thick, but it was just dark enough against his paleness that it screamed man. It was one of the things Ax loved most about men, the hair on their chest, their faces, their legs, and even their ass. He didn't go for the full Sasquatch look, but just enough to run his fingers through, to brush up against his own clean-shaven body. He bit his lip as he enjoyed the view and the knowledge that Les went commando.
Les turned and nearly fell over as he was pulling up his sweats. "Shit, I didn't hear you."
Ax nodded. "I was trying to be quiet so I didn't ruin the moment."
"Ruin the moment? Seeing my naked ass is hardly a moment."
"Guess that depends on who you ask. I enjoyed it." Ax leaned against the doorframe, enjoying the blush that crept up Les's neck. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"I just didn't expect to turn and see anyone." Les adjusted the waistband on his sweats." His gaze traveled up and down Ax's body. "Guess I'll let you get dressed."
Ax smiled, enjoying seeing Les so uncomfortable. "You can stay if you want. I don't have anything to hide from you." Ax moved into the room. "Actually, I could use your help. I'd like to wear something, but can't get it on myself. Maybe with your help…" He pulled a sundress from the closet. "It's like the T-shirts. I just can't get my arms up to slide into it." He could do it himself if he had to, but having Les help him would be much more enjoyable.
"Yeah, sure." Les came to stand beside him.
He faced Les and grinned. "How do you want me?"
Les swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. "Right here is okay. Maybe we should dry your hair first so it doesn't get everything wet?"
"I tried. I can't get my arms up enough to wrap a towel. I think I'm going to have to cut it. I can't even wash it."
Les shook his head. "You can't cut it." Then he laughed. "Okay, so I guess you can do anything you want to it, but do you really want to cut it?" He reached up and played with the ends of Ax's hair. "I like it long."
"So do I, but until I can take care of it…" He sighed. "The nurses helped me in the hospital, but here, there just isn't a way. I tried. I can't get my arms up without pain. I can't lean over the sink. There's just no way. Even brushing it's been half-assed since I got here." He hated cutting it, but didn't see any other way. "It's just hair, right? It will grow back."
Les shook his head. "I don't want you to cut it. You should have said something. I can help you comb it."
"You do enough already. If my ribs would just heal..."
"Come with me." Les reached for his hand. "We're pretty much a couple now, right?" He glanced back at Les as he tugged him out of the bedroom.
"Yeah, I like to think so." Ax wondered what Les was up to. Hearing him call them a couple made him happy. It was the first time Les had officially said it.
"Couples help each other with everything." He turned on the bathroom light and shut the door once Ax was in. "That means I help
you with your hair. I'll just get in and wash it for you. All you have to do is stand there."
Ax stared at Les in shock. "Um, are you sure?" He worried being in the shower together might lead to more that Les wasn't ready for. There would be no way to hide his arousal in there.
"I want to help. If you're not comfortable with it, we can figure something else out. We can go to the salon where Jeff goes. They have those fancy sinks you lay back for." Les leaned against the counter. "I don't mind doing this. It's just for a week or so while your ribs heal."
Ax smiled at the thought of this being a long-term thing. He could get used to showers with Les. "You're sure. If this is too much too fast..." Ax stepped closer. "I don't want to scare you off, and us being this close in the shower… I can't promise I won't react to it."
"I know." Les nodded down. "It's already causing me that reaction. But it's not like we can fuck in the shower. Not until you're healed. I'm okay with this. I'll stop us if I'm not." He leaned in and kissed Ax softly. "I can't hide from this forever, and I'm not going to let you cut your hair just because of this. If you're okay with it, so am I."
"Okay." He glanced at the shower, then back at Les. "How do you want to do this?"
"Let's just get in and we can see what works." Les pushed down his sweats and stepped out of them, his cheeks reddening as he stood up and faced Ax completely naked.
Ax didn't try to hide that he was looking. He looked over Les's perfect body, taking everything in. He smiled as he finally raised his gaze to his face. "You're perfect." He hooked a finger in the towel that was still tied around his waist and pulled it free.
He watched Les's reaction close. This would be one of those make it or break it things. Having to be so close to another man, to see another man naked and half-aroused. He held his breath as he waited, enjoying the way Les's gaze roamed over him. Then came the frown and Ax was sure it was over.
"I knew it was bad, but I didn't know how serious." Les kneeled and looked at Ax's balls. "It's been over a week. How bad were these?" He glanced up at Ax with a look of concern.
