Happy revellers in the street below shout out, excited for Christmas. I start Christmas alone, as I’ve always been. Except now that I’ve had the taste of love I don’t intend to let it go. Charlotte isn’t going to run that easily.
27
Monday 28th December
Arthur
It’s been four days and she still hasn’t called me back. I’ve left about twenty voicemails and thirty text messages begging her to listen to me.
I spent Christmas alone in the flat pigging out on takeaways. I haven’t even bothered to shave the last few days. I’m too depressed now that my very reason for living has gone without a trace. Without her nothing feels right. I miss her so much it hurts deep within my chest.
I’d planned to try and have some time off in between Christmas and New Year, but now there’s no point so I’m back at Whitehall. Could I really have screwed up the best thing to ever happen to me? I know that if I could just see her face to face I could explain. Get her to understand. To come back. To maybe even consider falling in love with me half as hard as I have her.
I’ve tried calling Eloise too but she won’t take my calls, and I’m not sure if she’s due in before the New Year. I’m just back from grabbing a sandwich my PA insisted I buy when I spot Eloise in the office. Her eyes widen when she sees me. I make a beeline from her as she turns and tries to hurry away.
‘Eloise, I need to talk to you urgently,’ I demand, hand already on her elbow, pulling her to face me.
She turns on a huff, crossing her arms across her chest. ‘What do you want, Arthur?’
I know her attitude is just because her best friend is in pain. Pain she thinks I caused. That doesn’t stop people looking over, wondering how she can be so rude to me.
‘I want to know where Charlotte and my baby are?’
She scoffs. ‘Oh, but you can’t be so sure it’s yours until you get the DNA test.’
Shit. She did hear the worst part of that conversation. It must have sounded abhorrent to her. I’ll kill James.
‘Look, she misunderstood. It was taken out of context.’
She rolls her eyes. ‘Said like a true politician.’
‘Eloise, please,’ I beg, attempting to communicate how desperate I am.
‘No, Arthur. You’ve made your bed, now I suggest you lie in it. Alone.’
Charlotte – 37 Weeks Pregnant
I’m so glad I came home for Christmas. Not that I expected to find my divorced parents in bed together. Apparently they’re back on. Most kids would be over the moon that their parents were giving it another go. Not me. It just means a whole lot of more drama between the two of them. Yeah they’re happy now, but it’s only a matter of time before they’re at each other’s throats again. This must be the sixth time they’re trying again.
To be fair they’ve been absolute angels since I arrived crying hysterically and standing in their bedroom doorway. In fact Mum’s been treating me like I’ve been in a car crash. Feeding me biscuits, wrapping me in a blanket, insisting I need more sugar for the shock. It’s a wonder I wasn’t a podgy kid what with my mum being such a feeder.
And without my pride stopping me from asking Arthur for help, it’s so much easier to have someone to assist with showering and life necessities, and generally do everything for me.
I’ve told them everything. Dad looked like he wanted to murder Arthur but I begged him to let me handle it. I suppose it’ll all have to be done through the courts now. Or mediators at best.
I don’t want it to get nasty and to cost us both a fortune, yet I also know that I can’t ever see him again. He makes me weak. Makes me believe in fairy tales that aren’t possible. I need to be strong now, for me and the baby.
I get a text from Eloise to say he’s been pestering her at work for my parent’s address. She didn’t give it, thank God. Says he looks rough, like he hasn’t slept.
The sadistic part of me is glad. Good, he should feel bad for what he’s done. Not that I’ve done this to punish him. I’ve actually done this for the baby. Being that distressed isn’t good for me or it. I’ve only been here a few days, but already I feel cared for and the sea breeze is helping me to sleep better. I might just stay here after all.
Regardless of the situation—God I hate that phrase—but regardless of the situation, I won’t stop him from seeing the baby. He can have supervised visits with someone else present while I’m still breastfeeding and then when its older it can go to him every second weekend. Just like normal split up parents. Most of them were together longer than one night before conceiving mind.
Oh well. This is my life now and I choose to embrace it. No matter how hard I cry into my pillow every night.
Thursday 31st December
Arthur
I’ve broken all of the rules and bribed Gerry in HR to give me Charlotte’s previous address. There is no way I’m starting next year without her. I knock three times that very evening at a house in Watford, determined to find out where she is.
A young woman with a nose ring answers the door. ‘Yes?’
‘Hi. I’m Arthur Ellison. I’m Charlotte’s…’ I stop, realising I don’t know what I am to her. ‘Can I please come in? It’s extremely urgent.’
She rolls her eyes but begrudgingly lets me in. Other women are setting up balloons and streamers, obviously planning a New Year’s Eve party.
‘I need to know her parent’s address in Devon.’
‘Why?’ she asks, staring at me suspiciously.
‘Because she’s got the wrong end of the stick of something I said. She’s run off to her parents and it is imperative that I speak with her.’
She huffs but goes into the kitchen drawer. Loads of loose papers are in there, shuffled around. God they live like pigs. Charlotte must have hated living here.
‘Here it is,’ she says, handing over the address written in Charlotte’s handwriting. ‘She gave it to forward her mail onto. Well, before she moved in with you.’
I snatch it off her before she can change her mind.
‘Thank you so much.’
Looks like I’m driving to Devon.
I leave, but just as I’m closing the gate I see Joshua Moore coming this way. I recognise him from the photos Eloise showed me.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ I ask, wanting to kill him.
‘I wanted to see if Charlotte was here. I haven’t been able to contact her and I’m worried. I thought she might come back here.’
‘You shouldn’t be looking for her,’ I snap, anger surging through my veins. ‘She’s none of your business.’
‘Why are you here?’ he asks, narrowing his eyes. ‘Oh, I see. You’re the reason I haven’t been able to contact her. It’s because you’ve upset her, haven’t you?’
‘Like I said,’ I growl, clenching my fists. ‘It’s none of your fucking business. Leave her the fuck alone.’
‘You don’t deserve her,’ he snaps, his face scrunched up in distaste.
Don’t I know it.
‘I still love her,’ he continues, ‘and I’ll marry her tomorrow if she’ll have me.’
‘Well she won’t,’ I bark back, unsure if that’s true.
Maybe she would be happier with him. If I love her I should want her to be happy regardless.
He sighs, his shoulders slouching. ‘I know. The sad truth is that woman loves you. She only ever talked about you. Please don’t fuck up your chance. Or I will try and take her from you.’
Well, fuck. I actually like the guy.
‘I don’t intend to.’
Charlotte
Mum and Dad wanted me to stay up to ring the New Year in with them. I can’t face it so have gone to bed instead. I just want to bury my head under the duvet and ignore the fact that I’m going into the New Year as a single mum.
I’ve almost drifted off when the sounds of a car pulling up, and someone walking on the gravel wakes me up. I hear a knock on the door. Who the hell could that be at gone half eleven? It can’t be Arthur. He do
esn’t know where I am. I listen to my dad talking to someone. Is that? No, it couldn’t be.
I grab my crutches and hop to the top of the stairs and listen in. The baby starts kicking, as if knowing daddy is here.
‘Now listen here, son,’ Dad warns. ‘I don’t care how long you’ve travelled, she doesn’t want to see you. Especially at this hour.’
‘Please,’ he pleads. God, just hearing his voice. The desperation in it. I can’t bear it.
I sit on my bum and shuffle a few steps down. ‘It’s fine, Dad. Let him in.’
I shuffle the last remaining steps, finally coming into view.
He looks far worse than how Eloise described him. He’s unshaved, his eyes seem hollow, haunted. He definitely hasn’t slept properly since I’ve left.
I should be pleased but instead I want nothing more than to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and reassure him everything will be okay. But I can’t. Or I shouldn’t. I need to put myself and the baby first.
He gives me his hand to help me up.
‘Hi,’ he says sheepishly. ‘Can we please talk?’
Mum bursts into the hall carrying a glass of champagne. ‘Who is it, Phil?’ Her eyes widen when she spots Arthur. ‘Oh, Jesus.’
‘It’s okay, Mum.’ I look to him. ‘Let’s go in here.’ I point towards the kitchen and let him help me sit down at the table, hoping Mum and Dad haven’t got their ears pressed up to the door.
He looks around and I remember that such quaint surroundings must be weird to him. Us regular people don’t have butlers like Downton Abbey. Rich idiot.
He swallows, clearly nervous. He should be. I’m still furious.
He takes a quick deep breath. ‘I’m so sorry for what I’m assuming you overheard, Charlotte. But if you’d stuck around you would have heard me sticking up for you. Telling James that I’m not interested in her and never will be.’
He said that? Well yeah I’d have liked to have heard that. But how can I trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore? James told him to play along. To keep me sweet.
I glare at him. ‘You told her you were getting a DNA test. What part of that is sticking up for me?’
He sighs, his shoulders drooping over. ‘I just said that I’d think about it to shut her up. I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. And well… she’d just shown me you’d been meeting up with your ex-boyfriend. I didn’t know what to think.’
Damn, I didn’t know he’d found out about that. It obviously doesn’t look good me seeing Joshua.
‘Look I just went out with Josh once as friends and the other time I bumped into him at the cafe. I spent most of the time talking about you.’
‘I know. He told me.’
Since when did they meet up?
‘He also told me he’s still in love with you.’
Bless Josh.
‘Well, I’m not in love with him.’
‘What did you tell him about me?’ he asks, eyeing the bump.
I sigh. ‘Honestly? I told him how I wasn’t sure we were going to work. That we’re so different.’
He smiles sadly, a line forming between his brows.
‘But I never once considered leaving you to go to him. I’ve just found this whole relying on someone thing hard to handle. I’m used to being let down. And guess what, I was.’
‘I’m so sorry, Charlotte.’ He leans forward and takes my hands.
‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter.’ I shrug, as if unbothered. ‘I’m not going to stop you seeing the baby.’ I take my hands back. ‘I’ll call you when I’m in labour and we can sort a schedule.’
His jaw clenches. ‘I don’t want a mother fucking schedule, Charlotte. I want you.’
I gasp. ‘Huh?’
He stands and comes round to my side, kneeling in front of me.
‘When are you going to get it into your stupid head? I don’t just want the baby. I want you.’
‘But… why? I don’t get it. You want a DNA test. You’re just trying to keep me sweet until the baby is born.’
He shakes his head, taking my hands again. ‘I don’t need a DNA test. Charlotte, I’ve fallen in love with you. I didn’t even realise it until you’d gone. I’m useless without you.’
I sigh. ‘You can’t just be with someone because they make your life easier.’
He scoffs a laugh. ‘You think you make my life easier? Every second of every day I’m distracted by you. Wondering if you’ve eaten, if you’ve drunk enough, if you’ll be satisfied being stuck with me forever.’
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
He looks down at the floor. ‘Because Joshua is right. I don’t deserve you.’
My heart breaks for him. My screwed-up Arthur.
‘Not many people would accept a partner that isn’t theirs ninety percent of the time,’ he adds. ‘I fear you’ll resent me even more when the baby is born. If you’re under some illusion that I’ll work less when it’s here, I’m sorry to say that won’t be true. And I already hate myself because of it.’
‘I know,’ I curve my lips, cupping his cheek with my palm. ‘But as you say, we’re in this situation now and we have to make the best of it. But I don’t want to end up like my parents, screaming at each other in front of our child.’
He smiles sadly. ‘We’re not your parents, Charlotte. I can’t promise you we’ll never argue, but don’t you think it’s worth the risk? Do you… do you think you could forgive me? Trust me again? Learn to love me one day?’
I look down into his vulnerable eyes, a tear escaping my own.
‘You idiot. I’m already madly in love with you. I just didn’t want to waste my life hoping you would one day feel the same.’
He laughs. ‘Really?’
‘Of course. What’s not to love?’ We both chuckle a laugh. ‘The real question is if you really think you love me? I don’t want you confused because of the baby.’
He smiles at me. His secret smile I’ve missed so dearly.
‘Charlotte I love you for so many more reasons than you growing my baby in your tummy. You’re sweet, unjaded, funny, caring. Everything that I’ve never known. I can’t wait for us to start our family, no matter how unconventional it is. If that means me commuting to Devon on the weekends, so be it.’
‘Okay,’ I smile, feeling more confident. ‘So we agree, truthful from now on? We’re together and fuck everyone else?’
He grins and I see a glimpse of my normal cocky Arthur Ellison.
‘Agreed.’
He leans forward and pecks a quick kiss on my lips and then the bump.
‘I just have one more question to ask you,’ he says, chewing on his lip.
‘What’s that?’
He pulls something out of his pocket. I see it’s his Grandma’s engagement ring.
‘I told you before that my grandma told me to give this to the woman I marry. What I didn’t tell you is that she also said it had to be the woman I loved like no other.’
My heart starts thumping in my chest.
‘You’re that woman. Charlotte Bellswain, will you marry me, for real?’
I chuckle as tears stream down my face.
‘Of course I will.’
I jump into his arms as my mum and dad burst into the room congratulating us. Clearly listening then.
‘Just in time for New Year,’ Mum says, excitedly looking at her watch. ‘Ten, nine, eight…’
Dad joins in counting down.
Arthur pulls me close. ‘We’re starting the new year as we mean to go on. Together.’
He pulls me in and kisses me while fireworks go off in the distance and Mum and Dad shout out happy New Year.
Epilogue – Three Years Later
Charlotte
We’re moving into our new house today. Finally free of this apartment. Let me tell you, having a three-year-old with no garden is a nightmare. This flat was never built for a family. The minute I gave birth I knew we’d have to eventually move.
Ophelia Elizabeth Bells
wain Ellison was born on the 19th January weighing a whopping nine pounds two. She looked just like a mini Arthur and still does. My hazel eyes with Arthur’s mop of dark curls. Eloise visited us in hospital and joked she was glad she didn’t come out black. That then they’d really have wanted a DNA test. I’m glad we can laugh about it now.
She’s the most amazing child. She seems to have my creative side, always drawing and designing dresses, but is also super smart like Arthur. Truth be told it makes for an exhausting three-nager. She questions everything and always wants to learn more. The only break I get is when she goes to Nanny Linda’s while I design dresses. She really is the best Grandma. She dotes on that little girl.
My business really took off. Another reason why we need a bigger place. I’m going to have my own sewing room so I can lock it all away from Ophelia.
I actually have a big meeting with a department store next week to discuss giving me my own six-piece line in shops. I’m cautious because if it’s going to have my name on it I want it to be of the best quality. I don’t want to compromise on that.
Arthur still works crazy hours as Cabinet Secretary, but he’s got more precious with his time. He now has two phones. Only three people at work have his personal number so he often turns off his work phone and is only interrupted for proper emergencies. It means the short time we have together is quality time.
He’s the most amazing dad. He really indulges Ophelia’s questions and informs me that she’ll need to be well educated if she’s to become prime minister. Dream on. I’d rather her be a yoga instructor. Sounds far less stressful.
James married a stockbroker a year after Ophelia was born. We still hear about her and wish her well, but we don’t have a relationship anymore.
Arthur lugs the last of the boxes into the kitchen.
‘Now that we’ve moved will you ever set a date for the wedding?’ he asks.
I grin back at him. ‘I love it when you’re all needy.’
He chuckles a laugh. ‘I just don’t think I can carry on much longer not being married to you.’
Whitehall Baby: A Surprise Pregnancy, Fake Relationship Romantic Comedy Perfect for Chick Lit Fans Page 19
