The Book of Dreams

by O. R. Melling

  Before Midir could accuse her of asking too much, the High Queen spoke up.

  “Three is the sacred number of the Summer Land. It befits the boon requested, my Lord.”

  Midir glanced at his wife with sudden suspicion. She made an admirable effort at returning his look with some semblance of innocence. His features showed his struggle not to laugh out loud. Like his subjects, the High King took great delight in the way his wife flaunted the rules. Yet, these were serious matters.

  “You agreed to be the gift,” he said gravely to Dana. “You offered yourself as the sacrifice.”

  “And I died willingly,” she agreed. “But there is another law in the universe. Love is as strong as death.”

  Midir, indeed, was impressed.

  “So be it,” he declared. “The three-fold boon will be put to the Ancients. You shall have your answer before the night is done.”

  • • •

  Dana didn’t feel like joining the ball. The suspense was too great. Instead, she sat by a fountain in the palace gardens with the two wolves at her side. Gazing into the falling water, she could only wonder: what did Fate hold in store for them?

  One by one, the others came to express their support.

  “We’ll raise blue murder if you don’t get what you want,” Dee told her. “Nothing short of a happy ending is acceptable.”

  “Being a fairy is all very well, but we’d rather have you in our world,” Yvonne agreed. “They say even the gods want to be human.”

  “They say a lot of stuff, don’t they,” Dee remarked.

  When Laurel arrived with a handsome young man by her side, Dana noticed that the two were holding hands. Laurel looked more like her sister now, lighthearted and happy.

  The Summer King bowed to Dana.

  “May you be restored to your beloved, Light-Bearer, as I have been to mine.”

  Wild shouts heralded the arrival of Clan Creemore. In a blast of wind they appeared around her.

  “It’s our wish that you return home with us!” said Daisy Greenleaf.

  “Home to Creemore,” Alf Branch added, “where Gowans belong.”

  Brendan came to wish her well before he set sail for home. As he sat down beside her, he clasped her hands.

  “I have prayed that your intentions be granted,” he said, “and that your book ends as joyfully as mine.”

  “So The Book of Wonders is finished, then?”

  Dana was pleased for the saint. Brendan nodded happily.

  “As soon as I stepped through the portal into this wondrous land, a rider approached me on a white horse. She wore a purple mantle and gold-embroidered gloves and her feet were shod with sandals of white bronze. In her hand she carried a silver branch that dangled three golden apples. I bowed before her.

  “‘You are the Queen of Tír Tairngire, the Land of Promise,’ spake I, ‘as described in the book that I am restoring.’

  “‘Indeed that name belongs to me,’ she said in her melodious voice. ‘I have come to tell you that your work is done. Your pilgrimage is fulfilled and you may return home.’”

  Dana smiled to herself as she imagined Honor enjoying that task.

  Gwen had requested to be brought to Dana, though the healers had yet to release her. Still pale and weak, she was carried on a silken palanquin supported by her friends from Ireland. Her eyes shone with happiness as she introduced Dara and the other members of the first Company of Seven. Dana thanked them for their help with her mission.

  “We all had our part to play, whether big or small,” said Granny, the fairy doctress. Her visit to Faerie had fully restored her health. She looked younger and livelier.

  “I was glad to do more than throw money at the problem,” Matt stated.

  “Thank God we woke up in time to do something!” were Katie’s heartfelt words. “We nearly slept the whole thing out!”

  Gwen leaned over to Dana and spoke quietly just to her.

  “It was an honor to be your guard in battle, but you know what? I’d rather be standing in front of you in class, with Jean there as well. Would that be too dull for you?”

  “It’s a dream of mine,” said Dana fervently.

  • • •

  It was almost dawn in Faerie when their Royal Majesties returned. The festivities had waned, but everyone was still there. All had remained in solidarity with the Light-Bearer’s Daughter, for whom they wished only happiness.

  Dana saw immediately that the news was not good. The faces of the High King and High Queen were sorrowful. Beside them, Edane looked distraught as she leaned on her husband, King Lugh.

  Silence gripped the hall. The air crackled with tension. Dana went down on one knee to put her arms around the wolves.

  “The humanities of the three may be restored.” As soon as he made his announcement, Midir raised his hand to stay the applause.

  “Here comes the ‘but,’” Dee muttered.

  “However, it is not a simple matter. The boon requires both High Magic and Old Magic. As it has been since time began, High Magic calls for a noble sacrifice and Old Magic calls for a death.”

  Dana’s hold on the wolves tightened. Jean and grand-père bared their teeth.

  “What must be done?” she asked steadily.

  “The three of you will go beyond the Black Gates of Faerie to meet Crom Cruac. The Great Worm is the guardian of the balance between the worlds. It was his shadow you appeased, for he is the one who presides over death and sacrifice. The death is twofold. The wolves must die to allow the men to live. They will be fully human and loup-garou no more.”

  The High King’s eyes grew darker. It was obvious that what he had to say next caused him great pain.

  “The noble sacrifice is the act of an immortal. To regain your humanity, you must offer up your fairy self.”

  Edane let out a little cry. Dana was stunned. Having steeled herself for a straight yes or no, she wasn’t prepared for complications. She was staggered by the proposal, the price to be paid. How could she give up her birthright? Her glorious inheritance? And yet she yearned to be human, to live out her life, to be reunited with Jean and her family and friends.

  For every dream to exist there must be a sacrifice.

  As difficult as it was for her, so too would it be for Jean and grand-père. They would lose a part of their souls to become human again; all the wildness and freedom of the loup-garou.

  Kneeling beside the two wolves, Dana bowed her head against theirs. All three were shaken to the core of their being.

  The High King of Faerie gazed upon them with compassion.

  “Each of you is free to choose your own destiny. One decision is not bound by the others. But choose you must, between your magical selves and your humanity.”

  It was still Halloween in the Earthworld, for both the Plain of the Great Heart and the Land of Faerie were beyond time. Gabriel stood beside his wife on the streets of Creemore, laughing with the crowd as the Headless Horseman disappeared down the road. Suddenly he found himself elsewhere. It was a place he recognized instantly: a forest in Ireland, in the Wicklow Mountains, on a high ridge overlooking a narrow road. The trees were a tangle of old oak and holly. He was sitting on a fallen tree trunk, his silver flute in his hand.

  Bewildered, he looked around him. Was this a dream?

  Then she stepped out of the trees and walked toward him. Her gown was pale and shining, her feet and arms bare, and her head was wreathed with a crown of white blossoms. For a moment he thought she was Edane, his first wife, but her hair was raven-black. Then he realized with a shock that the glimmering girl was his daughter.

  “Gabe … Da …” Her voice echoed with a touch of sadness and regret.

  He felt a sharp ache in his heart. Despite his confusion, he knew what this meant, the thing he had always secretly dreaded. She was going to leave him, his fairy daughter, even as her mother had.

  As Dana reached out to him, her hands spilled golden light.

  “This is what I am, Gabe. I
can’t hide it anymore and I can’t protect you from the truth. I’m going away for a while. Something has happened and I’m no longer able to live in both worlds. I’ve got to choose one or the other. I need to think about it, but I promise to return and let you know my decision. I don’t want to hurt you, but you know it’s my life and I’ve got to be the one who makes the choice.”

  Gabriel dropped the flute from his hands. His heart was breaking. Yet even as he looked at her with love and awe, he knew her words were true. She was more than a child.

  “I love you, Da. Take care of yourself and Radhi and the baby.”

  With tears in his eyes he held her tightly, hoping it wasn’t for the last time.

  “You’ll always be my baby,” he murmured, “my firstborn.”

  • • •

  By the time Dana caught up with Findabhair and Finvarra, they were in their hotel room in Toronto. Finvarra had removed his shirt so that his wife could change the dressings on his wounds. The sweet scent of fairy herbs wafted on the air.

  “You should’ve stayed in the healing tent.” Findabhair chided her husband, but her voice was gentle, as was her touch.

  “You have power of your own,” he said with a smile. “And it is best we go back onstage as soon as possible. Our honor must be restored. We broke our pledge with the tour.”

  “The show must go on,” she agreed. “A makeup concert should fix things. We’re not the first musicians to go astray. All’s well that ends well.”

  • • •

  Neither looked surprised when Dana appeared beside them. Both were saddened to hear her news.

  “You must know the full consequences if you choose humanity,” Finvarra told her. “You will be banished from the Land of Faerie. Once you lose your immortality, you cannot return.”

  This was the reason she had come to see them. She needed to talk with someone who understood her dilemma.

  “But I’ll still be able to see fairies, won’t I? If they show themselves to me? Like Clan Creemore? And my mother will visit me and show up in my dreams?”

  “That’s the theory,” said Findabhair.

  She and her husband exchanged glances.

  “I need to know the truth,” said Dana, sensing that they were holding something back. “To help me make the right choice.”

  Findabhair sighed. “The bottom line? Fairies are flighty. You know that yourself. Life is a game for them, feasting and frolic, music and dancing. They never grow old and I’d say they never grow up. And that’s another thing. Time. Because of their immortality, they don’t notice it passing in their world or ours. They don’t mean to forget to visit, but years can pass before they remember. You need to understand, Dana, that if you choose to be human, you’re not in for a penny, you’re in for a pound. Faerie will play a very small part in your life. It may even disappear from it altogether.”

  Dana’s eyes filled with tears. This was her worst fear.

  “But the others, like Gwen and—”

  “It is a different thing for the Companions of Faerie,” Finvarra explained. “They have right of passage to the Realm and are ever a part of it. For you and me and any other immortal who falls out of the Great Time, the door is closed. We are exiles in this world.”

  Life is a peregrination through a foreign land.

  “Is it forever?” Dana asked. She held her breath.

  Something flickered in their eyes. A glimmer of light.

  “Actually, that’s something we don’t know,” Findabhair said. “Immortals who have fallen—like humans who hold no belief—face death as a mystery.”

  “Hope is still on the wing,” Dana murmured, releasing her breath.

  • • •

  Georgia was asleep when Dana arrived at her house. Instead of waking her, Dana slipped into her friend’s dreams. She found herself outside a ruined building in a darkened city near a river. Georgia crouched nearby with a gun in her hand. As shots rang out, Georgia stood up to fire back, then hunkered down again. She didn’t look surprised to see Dana. After all, it was a dream.

  “What’s going on?” Dana hissed at her. Explosions sounded across the river.

  “Don’t you dream you’re on secret missions fighting some mysterious enemy?” said Georgia. “No wait, that’s your real life.”

  She stood up to let off another round, but she had run out of ammunition. Crouching again, she reloaded.

  “According to dream books, I’m fighting the dark side of myself,” she commented. “So far, we’re even.”

  Dana snickered. Even in her dreams, Georgia was hilarious.

  “Could we go somewhere quiet?” Dana asked her. “We need to talk.”

  Now Dana found herself perched beside Georgia on a high wall overlooking a hilly countryside. The sun shone on their faces. Their legs dangled over the warm stone. The wall stretched away on both sides as far as the eye could see, rising and falling with the roll of the land. There was no sign of habitation or people or animals, only brown soil and green bushes and the wall going on forever.

  “Wow,” said Dana. “Is this the Great Wall of China?”

  “Yep,” said Georgia, banging her heels off the stone. “Isn’t it neat? I love this place, but I can’t always get here. Lucid dreaming is tricky.”

  “You’re not actually dreaming me,” Dana said. “I’m really here.”

  Georgia sat up straight, her look serious.

  “Is it all over, then, the battle and everything?”

  Dana nodded.

  “Great-granny said the dragons went,” Georgia told her. “But they didn’t come back yet to tell us what happened.”

  “They were brilliant. They saved a lot of our army.”

  “That’s great! So, how come you’re not keeping this news to brighten an otherwise boring day at school?”

  Dana saw the concern in her friend’s eyes. Georgia might be hilarious, but she was also very smart. Dana hesitated. In that pause, Georgia’s worry turned to fear.

  “Did you die? Is that why you’re here?”

  When Dana paused again, Georgia’s eyes filled with tears.

  “I’m still alive as a fairy,” Dana hurried to say.

  “It’s not the same!” Georgia cried. “I thought we were going to do the best-friend thing: you know, graduate together, go to university, be each other’s brides-maid. All that corny stuff.”

  She started to cry. Dana did her best to comfort her, explaining the situation and the choice she faced.

  “Well, that’s easy.” Georgia sniffled, recovering quickly. “Do the right thing. You were born here. The human option is the only option.”

  “Then I won’t be special anymore,” Dana pointed out. “Isn’t that why you picked me for a friend in the first place? Because I was like your great-granny?”

  “Yes and no,” Georgia argued. “I just wanted someone I could talk to about that stuff. Someone my own age. It’s lonely having a secret you can’t share. I can still do that with you as a human.”

  “This is so hard,” Dana murmured.

  She stared down at the ground far below her and found herself thinking of Humpty Dumpty. There were other elements to the choice she hadn’t mentioned to Georgia. The question of Jean. If he remained a wolf, it would be easier for both of them if she stayed a fairy. She could shapeshift into a wolf herself, whenever she wanted. But what if Jean chose to be human? She knew from her father and mother that mortal and immortal didn’t work. But though Jean’s decision added to her dilemma, Dana was aware of the deeper truth. No matter what Jean did, she had to choose her own destiny.

  “I’ll lose so much if I stop being a fairy,” she pointed out to Georgia. “And what do I get in return? Old age, sickness, no power over anything …”

  “Hey!” her friend interrupted. “Don’t forget the other things, Ms. Glass-Is-Half-Empty. Friendship, love …” Georgia waved her hand over the vast expanse of wall. “All the wonders you can find in our world. These belong to us. The lowly mortals. Not them
.”

  Dana smiled. “I knew you’d be a help.”

  “Speaking of love, how’s our garçon?”

  Dana was about to answer when she stiffened. The sound of an alarm clock rang through the air, like loud bells.

  “I’ve got to go. It’s time for you to wake.”

  “Whatever you decide, don’t forget me!” Georgia cried. The two girls hugged good-bye on the Great Wall of China.

  • • •

  Laurel made her way to the High Queen’s solar. It was an airy chamber high in the palace, overlooking a vast rose garden and ornate fountains. Honor was reclining on an embroidered couch. Beside her was a lacquered table with a china tea set, a plate of seedcakes dripping with honey, and a bowl of red berries. The High Queen nibbled restlessly on the tidbits as she gazed out the window. When Laurel entered the bower, Honor jumped up with delight.

  “Here you are at last!”

  The twins embraced joyfully.

  “I was looking for you, but I couldn’t find you,” Laurel told her.

  “I was out and about with royal duties. It’s not all party-party, no matter how it looks.”

  Honor smiled at her sister proudly as she poured the tea. “I knew you wouldn’t abandon us.”

  Laurel sighed. “It seems you can take the girl out of Faerie, but you can’t take Faerie out of the girl.”

  Honor laughed. “And did I see you walking in the garden with the Summer King?”

  Laurel wasn’t ready to discuss that subject yet. “What do you think Dana will do?” she said, changing the subject.

  Her sister’s face clouded. “I was dwelling on that matter just before you arrived. She has so much to gain and so much to lose. My heart goes out to her.”

  “Can’t you help her decide? You, more than anyone else, can understand her position.”

  Honor disagreed. “It was different for me. I didn’t have a choice. In truth, I’m glad I didn’t. How can one choose between two worlds? Two homes?”

  • • •

  On Iynu lands in northern Quebec, where the snow lay white and glistening in the dark of night, they waited for Dana in Grandfather’s kitchen. Roy leaned against the wall, too restless to sit. The great black wolf that was Jean lay in front of the stove. On either side of him sat two old men, smoking their pipes. Grand-père was a stately gentleman with short gray hair and the same wintergreen eyes as his grandson. He wore a big woolen sweater over his trousers. From time to time he looked at Grandfather and they would nod their heads through the curl of tobacco smoke. The Old Man was cloaked in his black-and-red blanket. All of them remained silent, in the stoic manner of men who didn’t talk when there was nothing to say.