by Regan Black
“That’s great.”
“Yes. Kelsey and I also found something else. I wanted you to hear it from me.” Best to spit it out quickly, like ripping a bandage off a scraped knee.
“Fox, what is it? You’re scaring me.”
He turned his gaze to the snow-dusted peak of the mountain framing Roaring Springs. “The DNA also proved I’m your half brother. Russ is my real father. I guess he had an affair with Mom.”
Suddenly there was only stark silence on the other end of the call. He couldn’t hear his sister or his niece. “Sloane...?”
“I’m here.” Another long pause. “I... I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. I wanted you to hear it from me,” he repeated. “I spoke with Russ and Mara earlier.”
“They knew?”
“Russ didn’t. Mara kept Mom’s secret. I guess, um, our dad found out somehow and that’s why the car crashed.” He wouldn’t tell his sister, not outright, that her father killed their mother.
Sloane hiccupped and started to cry.
Great. He should have gone over and told her this in person or when Liam was around to give her some support. But no, Fox had dumped the news on her out of the blue and wrecked a fun time with her daughter.
Which of Fox’s fathers would’ve done this? He snorted. Both Russ and Harrison had exhibited plenty of selfishness through the years. “I’m sorry, sis.”
She sniffled. “Are you okay?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “I will be, it’s just—”
“A shock,” she finished for him. “It changes nothing. Nothing.” Her voice was so ferocious he smiled. “You are still the best brother in the world.”
“Thanks. I feel the same way about you.” Choked up, he hurried to get off the phone. “Give Chloe a hug.”
“Consider it done,” she replied thickly. “If you need anything, we’re here for you. I love you.”
“Love you back,” he replied, quickly ending the call.
For the longest time, he just sat there on the back of the horse, staring at the stunning view but only seeing flashes of his past. Mara’s grudging attempt at mothering him. Russ striving to be more engaged and present. Dana’s comforting hugs and silly laugh.
He’d never stopped missing his mom. Even as an adult, part of him yearned for his mother. If Mara had been kinder, more maternal or accepting, would he have forgotten his mom? He supposed enough time had passed that the question was irrelevant. Whether or not it had been smooth sailing, his needs had been met. He’d grown up in a stable home and gone on to find a life and career that suited him. He could only hope Baby John would be afforded the same basic comfort and opportunities wherever he ended up.
The sun sank toward the horizon and the faint pink streaks in the sky were a preview of what would be a glorious sunset. He’d been out here far longer than he’d planned, but at last the tumult inside him was calming.
He turned for home, eager to see Kelsey and the baby. Best not to analyze that too much. The most direct route was to keep to the road and cut across his backyard to the stable. Trotting along the roadway, he noticed the fresh tire tracks. This access road was more for service use and he couldn’t think of a reason why any of the hands would need to come this way.
He could only assume the sedan had returned. Who kept coming by and why? He’d rather believe it was someone related to Baby John rather than a serial killer in the area.
He’d left Kelsey to cope with any trouble alone. What kind of a father, foster or not, let the nanny deal with a potential threat? Irritated all over again with a past he couldn’t change and a future he wasn’t sure about, Fox urged Mags into a canter.
He wouldn’t feel right again until he laid eyes on Kelsey and the baby.
* * *
When Kelsey and the baby got home, Fox still wasn’t anywhere to be found. Had he gone to speak with the baby’s father, as well?
Baby John had dozed off on the short drive and woken cranky, unwilling to be amused by much of anything. She hurried to fix him a bottle and checked to be sure he wasn’t running a fever. Most likely it was the interrupted nap compounded by teething pain. The babies she’d known from siblings to cousins to neighbors had always been grumpy when cutting teeth.
The little guy was drowsy but not quite asleep when Fox finally walked in and called out a hello. At the sound of the deep voice, the baby’s eyelids fluttered open and his little mouth curled into a smile.
The same couldn’t be said for Fox. His foul mood was evident in the heavy sound of his boots on the floor as he crossed the kitchen. But the hard set of his jaw and the scowl on his face fell away when saw the baby.
“Did I wake him?”
“Not really. He’s having a rough evening.”
“Makes two of us.” He stalked over to the fireplace and started a fire.
She appreciated the thoughtful gesture. “Thanks,” she said when the fire was going. “I take it your aunt and uncle didn’t take the news well?” It had taken more effort than she anticipating hiding her worry for Fox from Bailey.
Fox dodged the question with one of his own. “Have you eaten?”
“Not yet. If you take him, I’ll throw something together for us.”
Fox hesitated.
Just because the baby wanted to be with him didn’t mean it was the right thing for Fox. “Or you can cook,” she suggested. His willingness to dive in and help with any task had immediately impressed her as they adjusted to the baby’s schedule.
“Do you feel attached to him?” Fox knelt by the chair and let Baby John’s tiny fingers curl around his. “Could you send him to foster care?”
“As the nanny, it’s counterproductive for me to send the baby away.”
He gave her a sidelong glance. “You know what I’m asking.”
She did and answered accordingly. “If Baby John landed on my doorstep I would’ve felt compelled to relinquish him until his parents could be found.”
“I guess I should be thankful I was taken in by the Coltons,” Fox muttered. “But you didn’t answer my first question. Are you attached to him?”
She thought there was an obvious difference between taking in an articulate and grieving child and caring for a helpless baby. Admittedly, in either case, she would’ve opened her heart and home. “I’m fond of him, yes. He makes it easy to get attached, being such a sweet and happy little guy. What do you really want to know?”
The baby reached for Fox and he gathered him into his big, strong arms. Kelsey felt a little stab of envy, misplaced as it was. It seemed dinner was up to her.
“Can we talk it out once he’s down for the night?”
“Sure.” Once she mixed up a casserole and got it into the oven, she and Fox managed the baby’s bedtime routine. Yet once John was down for the night, Fox seemed reluctant to share what had happened with Russ and Mara.
“I enjoyed my visit with Bailey today,” she said, hoping normal conversation would put Fox at ease. “Hudson’s aversion to sleep is running them ragged.”
“Guess we’re pretty lucky with Baby John.”
Being included in that “we” made her smile. “We are.” She slid a glance his way. “Want to tell me how things went with Mara and Russ?”
“I don’t know where to start,” Fox admitted as he cleared the dishes.
She stowed the leftovers in the refrigerator and grabbed a beer for him. “The beginning works for me.”
He took a long drink. “You saw the beginning.”
She had and she’d been concerned for him for hours now. “Why not start at the beginning of your conversation with them.”
“I went over there mad.” Fox sighed and sank onto a stool at the island. “It wasn’t a good way to start the discussion.”
In her opinion, he’d gone over there hurt and
confused, but she didn’t interrupt.
“I walked them through it. Turns out DNA results are one hell of an icebreaker. Russ had no idea I’m his son. Aunt Mara? She’s known all along.”
“You’re kidding.” Kelsey couldn’t imagine keeping such a crucial detail from Fox, especially as an adult. Anyone who bothered to look could see that he worried about being too much like the man he thought was his father. Apparently Mara hadn’t bothered.
“I wish. Mara said my mom confided in her on her deathbed. She never confronted Russ about it.” He took another long drink. “She also said my dad planned the car crash, using it as a murder-suicide.”
“Fox, I’m so sorry.” It was all Kelsey could do to keep her hands to herself. The man needed a hug, some tangible and comforting reminder that he was valued and appreciated.
Loved.
Her heart wouldn’t be denied this time. Circumstances or not, she’d fallen hard for the man she’d admired, the man who’d become her boss and moved her into his home. The man who needed a friend more than anything else right now.
“If my mom had lived, Russ would want to wring her neck. Not that he’d actually do it.” He crossed the room and sat down on the hearth, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I left them raging at each other about their relationship. They’re both furious. I may have ended a marriage today.”
She couldn’t picture it. Divorce wasn’t allowed where she grew up. At least Mara wouldn’t be forced to leave everything behind if she ended the marriage. “Whatever they decide has nothing to do with you,” she said softly.
He cocked an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean. Your parents made those choices, not you.”
“I chose to confront them.”
“Mad or not, that’s a reasonable choice.” She sat down beside him. “I’m sorry it didn’t go as expected.”
“I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that.” He set aside the beer. “It does help to understand why she treated me differently.”
“You were a kid.” A grieving kid. “There’s no excuse for making you feel uncomfortable or unworthy.”
“Mara was shouting at Russ. I heard her claim she’d held the family together and should be sainted for not dumping me on foster care.”
“Sainted?” Kelsey was furious on Fox’s behalf. The woman had treated Fox like an outsider from the start. “I can think of better words.”
“Thanks.” He raised his head, and she caught the faint flicker of a smile. “I want to hate her,” Fox admitted gruffly. “But I can’t. She took us in when she would’ve been within her rights to abandon us, at least me, to foster care.” He pushed to his feet, restless. “The affair hurt her. Her sister and her husband. I can’t imagine the betrayal she felt on both sides. And facing me every day? It had to be the worst kind of pain.”
Maybe, but taking it out on an innocent boy was inexcusable. Kelsey picked up the beer bottle and took it to the recycling bin in the kitchen. Returning, she caught Fox staring down the hall. The baby did force him to look at the most uncomfortable moments in his past. Unlike Mara, he kept lavishing the boy with affection, making sure all his needs were met.
She was thankful she hadn’t burdened Fox with her worries about her brothers. He had more than enough family drama on his plate. If her brothers had been in the sedan, they would’ve shown up or called or started ugly rumors about her in town by now.
Her life changed so dramatically when she’d finally escaped her family. She’d slowly discovered a world where love was rooted in kindness and stability rather than harsh discipline and rigid standards. She’d found a place where her strengths were celebrated instead of muted. In her first week of freedom, she’d cried herself to sleep every night—tears of joy, hope and relief.
“Neglect can be as hurtful as outright abuse,” she murmured, pausing at the end of the couch. She hadn’t known what she’d been missing and she would never go back.
“Well, I’ve had a bit of both.” His voice cracked. “I’ve had good and bad parental examples.” He walked toward the fireplace and stirred it to life, adding a fresh log that sparked and crackled. “Why can’t I focus on the good and forget the ugly?”
There was no easy answer to that question. It had taken years of watching how other people interacted positively in relationships for her to understand how much she’d been denied. She tried an appeal to his scientific side. “Wanting love, approval and attention from our parents is a natural biological response, Fox.”
He shrugged.
“You know the basic needs,” she continued. “When those aren’t met, it changes how we see and value ourselves.”
“I’m a grown man,” he protested. “Russ is really the only father I know. These skeletons are old news.”
“Not to you,” she pointed out. “You need time to adjust.”
Fox leaned a forearm on the thick, rough-hewn mantel and stared into the fire, looking forlorn and wounded. She went to him. The man needed a hug. Several, really, to make up for the slights he’d suffered as a child. Slipping her arms around his lean waist, she rested her cheek against his back. “Parents aren’t perfect and never will be. You’re an incredible, kind, accomplished man despite the tragedies in your past.”
“Kelsey—”
“Just listen.” She gave him a gentle squeeze, her palms pressed over his heart. She couldn’t say this to his face, not yet. “I haven’t known you long in person. I knew your reputation as a geneticist and breeder. Now that I’m here, I’ve discovered you’re a nerd.”
He chuckled. “As expected?”
“A little, yes,” she replied. “You’re also one of the smartest, most generous and compassionate men I’ve met.” She’d save drop-dead sexy for a better moment. “Those traits and strengths aren’t simply a by-product of DNA or upbringing. Those traits are all you. Inherent in the way you’ve chosen to live your life.”
He covered her hands with his, trapping them against his hard muscles. “Thank you.”
She pulled back, feeling inexplicably exposed and shaky. What now? She stuffed her hands into her pockets and when Fox turned around, she couldn’t quite meet his gaze. It hadn’t been her place to say any of those things, and now she was floundering.
“Well, I should—” She took a step backward and tipped her head toward the bedrooms. “He’ll be up early.” Maybe her embarrassment would be manageable by morning. She’d meant every word, though she should have kept them to herself.
He took a step closer and the raw desire in his eyes startled her. Suddenly the room felt too hot, her clothes too tight.
Fox was too close. Too deliciously close. The scent of the fire was layered over the darker, tantalizing spice of his skin. He pulled her hands from her pockets and held them loosely. His gaze dropped to her lips, rested there while her heart pounded.
Was he going to kiss her again? Would it be even better than last time? She licked her lips, anticipating, hoping.
“Can I kiss you?”
She nodded, afraid if she tried to speak she’d tell him he could do whatever he pleased.
His mouth touched hers in another sweet, not-quite-innocent kiss. Then it changed, ignited from one heartbeat to the next. On a gasp of pleasure, she parted her lips to the sensual slide of his tongue against hers.
She laced her fingers at the back of his neck, toying with his thick hair. The awareness, the surety that this was where she belonged overwhelmed her, turned her knees weak. She must have wobbled or swayed because his hands splayed across her hips as he pulled her closer to the strong security of his body.
“Kelsey.” His fingertips skimmed under the hem of her sweater. Her skin pebbled with the contrast of his hot touch and the cooler air of the room. “I want you, Kelsey.”
The thrill of being wanted this way, wanted by Fox, made her dizzy. “It’s mutual,” she
managed.
“You’ve given me so much already.” His lips traced the curve of her ear.
“Same.” This was different and she’d deal with the consequences later. If she missed this chance with him, she’d never forgive herself. One night with Fox wouldn’t mean a shotgun wedding or a life bearing his children.
“I’ll still be your assistant in the morning,” she promised. Pressed close, she felt his low laughter more than she heard it. The vibration from his torso teased the stiff peaks of her breasts.
“Then there’s nothing to lose.” He leaned back and waited for her to meet his gaze. “I’d be lost without you.”
She believed him. Worse, she suspected she’d be equally lost without him. Fox wasn’t perfect, but he was sincere. Genuine. Trustworthy. She surrendered to the moment and the demands of her body as they stripped away layers of clothing and reveled in the discovery of each other.
He laid her down on the thick rug in front of the fireplace, where the warmth of the flames was no competition for the heat he stoked with his mouth and hands. The feel of skin on skin nearly brought her to a climax.
She nudged him back, eagerly exploring all the lean lines of muscles toned from keeping the ranch running well. This was everything. He was everything. She trailed kisses across his chest, breathing him in, daring to venture lower still, until he sucked in a breath and hauled her back up to claim her mouth with a soul-searing kiss.
His hands speared through her hair, scattering the last of the pins holding up her long tresses. He nipped at her lower lip, ran kisses along her chin, the column of her throat, murmuring her name over and over. Shifting her higher still, he ran his tongue over one nipple and she arched, crying out as pleasure coursed through her. She wanted—needed—all of him. Now.
He dug a condom from the pocket of his jeans and rolled it over his erection. Braced over her, the firelight cast highlights through his hair. Breathless, she touched his features, surged up to kiss him.
Gripping her hips, he glided deep in one smooth thrust, and she gasped at the exquisite sensations of him filling her, surrounding her. Cherished was her only thought as he stared down at her. He flexed his hips, she responded and they found a pace that carried them both to a shattering release. She held him close, her body cradling his as her pulse eased and they floated back down to earth. To reality.
