Zombie Rules (Book 4): Destiny

by Achord, David

  “Well, let’s see. Kelly is with me.”

  “Obviously.”

  “Yeah. There’s Janet, my mother-in-law.”

  “She’s a little hard on her daughter.” I looked at him a second in confusion before it sunk in.

  “Oh, no, she’s not Kelly’s mother.” I gave him the reader’s digest version of how I first met the Friersons, the ensuing conflict, and how Julie and I had finally hooked up.

  “Believe it or not, I was going to kill her at one time, but decided against it. I’m not sure I’d wish her on you. She’s – hmm, what would be the proper word.”

  “Ruth called her a man-eater.”

  “Yeah, that’s one description.”

  “What about Maria?”

  “Maria is single. I don’t know if she considers herself available at the moment, but she’s very sweet, pretty too. Jorge and Josue are very protective of her.”

  “That was some shit about her kid.”

  “You’re telling me.” The image of little Jose falling out of that snake’s belly sprouted up. I rubbed my face heavily, trying to erase it.

  “What about those two sisters?” Seth asked.

  “Kate and Kyra. Yeah, they’re both fine-looking women, they got that, what do you call it? A sultry demeanor. Kate seems to have a thing for Shooter, although I have no idea why. Kyra’s pleasant to be around, but she doesn’t seem to be interested in men. She had a boyfriend that was murdered not too long ago, so perhaps she’s still grieving. And then there’s Sarah and Rachel.”

  “I kind of figured out they’re a couple.”

  “Yeah and I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that. Is their relationship going to be a problem for them when we get to Mount Weather?”

  “No, not for the most part. There are a couple of knuckleheads who refuse to be a part of the twenty-first century, but other than a few sarcastic remarks there hasn’t ever been any issues.” I chuckled. “What?” he asked.

  “I pity the fool who makes a snide remark to Sarah.” Seth chuckled.

  “Yeah, she seems pretty tough.”

  “So, there’s the rundown of the women of Nolensville, Tennessee.” Seth grunted.

  “Even in post-apocalyptic America dating is tough,” he lamented. I laughed.

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Aunt Kyra farts in her sleep,” Sammy said suddenly. “So does Aunt Kate, but not nearly as much.” Seth and I looked at each other and burst out in laughter. Sammy seemed nonplussed and pointed at the steering wheel.

  “Can I drive?”

  Chapter 52 – Roanoke

  “The scenery is pretty,” Kelly remarked as she drove. Interstate 81 ran alongside the Blueridge Mountains, and as we travelled northward, the trees and other fauna had ignored the apocalypse and were thriving in an almost ethereal beauty.

  “Yeah, it’s nice.” We rode along, admiring the view, when Seth came in on the radio.

  “Jorge just gave a hand signal. It looks like we have a single vehicle heading our way, coming down our side of the interstate.” There was a pause. “Well, damn. Don’t worry, I think I know who it is.”

  “That doesn’t tell us very much, sir,” Justin said.

  “The two of us need a bio break too,” Rachel enjoined.

  “Alright, everyone stop and stagger. No, belay that, park in a column.” Now that sounded odd. Staggering the vehicles increased our sectors of fire. Kelly pointed out of the window to the semi.

  “What the hell?” I looked and agreed with the sentiment. We exited the truck and walked to the front of the column where Seth was talking to a man who was wearing old, worn-out jeans, a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut out revealing muscular arms, and hunting boots. I’d say he was in his mid-thirties or so, but that wasn’t what I was wondering, or anyone else I’d say. Seth rattled off everyone’s names.

  “Everyone, this is Melvin,” Seth said. Melvin tipped his hat, a very-worn and sweat-stained Stetson.

  “Hello everyone, I’m very pleased to meet you.” Nobody answered. He saw what we were looking at. Melvin had a big, four-wheel-drive truck with oversized mudder tires. He’d fixed his truck up much like I’d fixed up my Ford Raptor. He’d caged the windows, rigged a supplementary lighting system on the roll bar, and had a camper on the back. But nobody was paying attention to that; they were all looking at what he had affixed to the front grill.

  The grill guard was one of those aftermarket products most off-road enthusiasts and rednecks had on their trucks, but he’d modified it. He had a metal chair bolted onto it, but the most interesting part was that he had a person secured to the chair with duct tape. It was obviously a female; she was wearing jeans and a tight-fitting black tank top that could barely contain an enormous set of breasts. The persons face was hidden by a full coverage motorcycle helmet with a tinted face shield. The face shield was plastered with dead bugs, which told me she’d been there for a while. Melvin saw us all looking at it.

  “Everyone, this is my wife, Peggy.” He raised the visor, revealing the face of a person with advanced stages of the zombie infection. She hissed. Melvin smiled.

  “Peggy said she’s very pleased to meet all of you.”

  “You married a zombie?” Sammy asked. Melvin looked down at Sammy and his grin faltered a little.

  “No, son, she was my wife before all of this stuff started.”

  “Melvin and his wife had what you’d call a tumultuous relationship,” Seth informed us. “Isn’t that right, Melvin?”

  “I suppose that’s one way of putting it,” he replied with a rueful smile. He glanced at his wife before looking at Seth.

  “What’s shakin’, Captain? You out on another recruiting mission?”

  “That’d be affirmative, Melvin,” Seth answered and introduced everyone. “They’re from Tennessee and are coming to live at Mount Weather.”

  “What’s wrong with Tennessee?” he asked.

  “Not a thing,” I said. “It’s a beautiful state.” I gestured at his wife. “Your treatment of your wife kind of seems peculiar.”

  “Zach, is it?” he asked and I nodded. “Zach, have you ever been married?”

  “Yes, he has and is,” Kelly said. Melvin quickly doffed his hat revealing a short burr haircut.

  “No offense, ma’am. If I remember Seth’s introductions, your name is Kelly.” His recall of names was pretty good, but still, I was wondering about his level of sanity.

  “Yes, and for the record, I’m not so sure I like you,” Kelly added.

  “Ah, because of your perception of the awful manner in which I’m treating my beloved wife, would I be correct?” Kelly nodded.

  “Well then, I feel compelled to tell you all about dearest Peggy,” he said.

  “Here we go,” Seth muttered. Melvin glanced at him for a microsecond and then ignored him.

  “Back when I was active duty,” he paused and gestured at Seth. “I was Army, just like pretty boy here. Well anyway, I’d been in Afghanistan for an unusually long time without any female companionship, if you know what I mean. So, I think God was conspiring against me when I got back stateside. I went to a…” he paused and glanced briefly at Sammy. “A gentlemen’s club one night with my friends, and there she was.” He gestured at Peggy.

  “She was the prettiest blonde-haired, blue-eyed gal I’d ever seen, with a sexy little gap between her two front teeth. I watched her dance all night and drank almost a whole bottle of bourbon before I got up the nerve to speak to her. I was drunk and most likely said something a little, shall we say, brazen.” He chuckled at the memory. “She slapped the hell out of me.”

  “So, what’d you do?” Shooter asked.

  “Hell, man, I slapped her back.”

  “Nice!” Shooter complimented.

  “Yeah, real nice,” Kelly said scornfully.

  “Well, now, Miss Kelly, it wasn’t quite like you think. Sure, I was wrong, but instead of being offended, Peggy here got turned on by it.”

  “Right,�
�� Sarah said. Melvin looked her over curiously.

  “I swear to God. So, like I was saying, I slapped her back and the bouncers saw it. There was a big fight, but those bouncers were no match for me and my buddies.” He made a hand gesture at Peggy.

  “She drug me out the back door and got me out of there before the cops came. We went back to her place and made mad passionate love until the sun came up.” He smiled. “We got married a week later.” He gestured at her again.

  “You see those honkers? I bought ‘em for her. Damn, those things were expensive.”

  “So, what happened?” I asked. I could see by the expression on Seth’s face he wished I hadn’t asked.

  “Oh, the honeymoon didn’t last. You folks may not believe this, but she was a little on the crazy side.”

  “You think?” Rachel asked with a fake look of disbelief.

  “Oh, yes ma’am. She did any drugs she could get ahold of and slept around like an alley cat in heat, and that included sleeping with most of my so-called friends. During the middle of it all, she drained our bank account. When I confronted her, she called the police and filed a false police report against me.” Seth spoke up.

  “She put a restraining order on him,” Seth added. “It got him kicked out of the Army.”

  “Yeah, kicked out of the Army, kicked out of my own apartment, she even took my car and sold it for crack. She wouldn’t even let me have my own toothbrush. There was only one of my friends she hadn’t been with. He was kind enough to let me sleep on his couch.” He looked around to see if we were listening, which was unnecessary. We were collectively infatuated.

  “Well, it turns out Felton, that was my buddy, the reason he hadn’t slept with her was because he was gay.” He laughed at the irony. “He was a good guy though,” he said a little more quietly. “He died.”

  “So, anyway, here I am, out of the Army, out of a job, homeless, and facing some bogus domestic violence charges, but God finally took pity on me.”

  “Melvin’s Uncle is a Virginia Senator,” Seth said.

  “Yep,” Melvin said. “He got me a job at Weather. Since I was facing charges, the only job he could get me was a groundskeeper.”

  “Bummer,” Shooter said.

  “Yeah,” Melvin replied.

  “Whatever,” Kelly said. “You still haven’t said how she ended up taped to a chair that’s bolted to the front of your truck.” Melvin looked at Kelly and then glanced over at Peggy.

  “Yeah, well, about a year after, I went looking for her. I found her in my apartment. She’d been there the whole time.” He looked around at us again.

  “You see, this woman drove me to the brink of suicide. When I found her, infected…” he didn’t finish. He cleared his throat. “Well, now she’s my reason to keep living. She goes with me everywhere.”

  “He tried to bring her back to Weather, but obviously we wouldn’t let him,” Seth said.

  “Yep, they think I’m crazy.” Rachel chortled.

  “Those Mount Weather people are pretty smart,” she said. Melvin had a sidearm holstered on his left side. I watched his hands closely in case he went for it. Instead, he grinned.

  “Yep, I’d say you’re right.” He looked at his wife, who was staring at him with her black eyes.

  “Welp, it was nice meeting all you people. I’m sure we’ll see each other again, but Peggy and I’ve got to be going.” He winked at Sammy. “Things to see and people to do. Good to see you, Seth. Tell the general I said hello and go fuck himself, excuse my French.” With that, he flipped the visor back down on his wife’s helmet, got into his truck and used the open lane to drive off. Now I understood why Seth didn’t want us to stagger the vehicles. If we had, Melvin probably would have never left.

  “He was a highly decorated soldier,” Seth said as we watched the truck disappear down the Interstate. “His last mission was a tough one. A lot of his fellow soldiers were killed. I think it got to him.”

  “Do you think he’s still tapping that?” Shooter asked. I laughed in spite of myself. That is, until I saw Kelly glaring at me.

  “Alright, ladies and gents,” I said. “This looks like as good a place as any to set up for the night, what do you say?”

  We reconfigured our vehicles for defense and got the cooking utensils out. Kelly and Janet argued over what to cook before deciding on pot luck. That meant Jorge and I were going to be peeling a pot full of potatoes. Frederick and Macie played with the dogs and the rest made preparations for us to stay the night.

  “It smells good,” Earl said as Janet stirred the big cauldron. “Those steaks were delicious as well.”

  “That was the last of them,” I said. “The rest of our meat has been smoke cured, and although it’s still good meat, it’s not quite the same as a fresh grilled steak.” I glanced over at him.

  “How well do you know Melvin?”

  “Not very well,” he said. “He mostly kept to himself, only talked to some of the soldiers. He lives somewhere around Weather.” He gestured at Seth. “Seth’s been to his house.”

  “You have?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he’s a good man, just a little off in the head. He built himself a nice cabin and he’s turned out to be a pretty good farmer.”

  “How many farmers and cattlemen are up there?”

  “Maybe ten who actually know what they’re doing. There are a few more that dabble at it.” Seth paused and chuckled.

  “There’s this one guy, Harold. Everyone calls him Hog-head Harold because he has a head as big as, well, as a hog’s head, and he runs the pig farm.”

  “Sounds like an interesting dude.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s one way of describing him. He has a house up on stilts in the middle of the farm. So, he’s surrounded by pigs, who stink to high heaven, but he says he’s perfectly safe.”

  “I guess I can see that. Pigs are tough. There’s no way zombies could get through them.”

  “Yep, that’s his logic. He’s even got a video of a few zombies trying to attack a pig one day. The pigs tore them apart.”

  “Yeah, I believe that,” Jorge said. “Pigs can be mean as hell, man, and they’ll eat anything.”

  “How many acres do y’all have for crops?” I asked.

  “They cleared a lot of land around the compound. I don’t know the exact number, a couple of thousand I think. Several of us have our own gardens within the compound. We have informal contests. My tomatoes did pretty good this summer, but I somehow managed to kill my cucumbers and squash.” Our conversation was interrupted by gunfire. I cursed under my breath.

  “If those two are wasting ammo again, I’m going to whip their asses.” Earl looked at me in surprise as more gunfire erupted and we each began walking toward the source of the shots. We spotted them at almost the same time.

  “Oh shit,” Earl lamented.

  “Get to a vehicle!” I shouted, grabbed my rifle that had been leaning up against a chair and ran toward the two idiot brothers, and Kate. Kate was running to the safety of the vehicles, but the two brothers were standing in the middle of the interstate shooting toward a horde of approaching infected.

  Kate ran by me as I took up a shooting position beside the Stryker, but that’s when I noticed Cutter was limping badly and could hardly walk. He was shooting over his shoulder as his brother was trying to drag him along. It wasn’t looking good for them; the horde was loping toward them and closing fast.

  “Damn,” I muttered, loaded a fresh magazine and then ran to them. Cutter paused in his shooting as I ran up beside him.

  “We’re in the shit now!” I jabbed a finger at Shooter.

  “Ride him piggy-back, I’ll cover!” I shouted and began firing. Cutter needed no further instruction. He jumped on his brother’s back and the three of us began moving. Thankfully, the others were smarter and had jumped in the vehicles. There were individual rounds of gunfire now from our group and zombies started dropping. But, there were a lot of them and they were close, too close.
r />   And I didn’t have my machete.

  I only managed to reload once before they were on us. It’s funny how you think of insignificant things when you’re in the midst of an adrenalin-pumped, balls-to-the-wall situation, like fighting for your life from bloodthirsty zombies. There I was, butt stroking left and right and the only thing I was thinking about was these things looked fairly decent, comparatively speaking. They still smelled, but the decomposition was minimal, in some of them it was almost non-existent. Chunks of rotting flesh had completely scabbed over and their blackened eyes actually looked like they had moisture.

  The gunfire coming from behind me was almost unnoticed now, like white noise in the background, rain on a metal roof. Instead, I was concentrating entirely on surviving. The only good thing at the moment were the skulls of the infected seemed to be softer than normal. One good whack and they’d burst open like a ripe melon.

  “Keep moving!” I shouted at the two idiots. But I was talking to empty air. Once his brother had hopped up on his back, Shooter broke into a run and the two of them were almost back to safety. I applied one more satisfying butt stroke and then turned to make a sprint toward the Stryker. Another one of those random thoughts entered my brain as I realized nobody was shooting anymore. No matter, I had no doubt I could outrun any zombie and I only had a hundred yard sprint.

  And then, the unthinkable happened. I tripped and fell. Maybe it was a piece of debris in the roadway, maybe a zombie clutched at my foot, or maybe it was nothing more than my own clumsiness. Like the inept bimbo in a B-horror movie. What I did know was now it wasn’t going to matter how immune I was. They weren’t interested in infecting me; they were going to eat me alive.

  The one closest to me was a big one, a man who looked like he could have been a sumo wrestler at one time. As he bore down on me, I kicked him in the chest as hard as I could. It pushed him back a couple of feet, which momentarily slowed up the others trying to get at me. Suddenly, there was a loud eruption of gunfire. I realized it was Seth; he’d opened up with that fifty caliber machine gun and he wasn’t taking any prisoners. The fact that very few of his shots were headshots didn’t matter. The kinetic energy of those fifty caliber rounds were literally causing the zombies to explode on impact. It was both terrifying and fascinating.