The Girl with the Broken Heart

by Lurlene McDaniel

  Austin locked his fingers together, keeping his hands steady. The idea of Billy coming on to her sickened him.

  “Then he turned me around and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on my mouth. I shoved him, jumped on my horse, and took off. Billy was a creep then, and he’s still a creep.”

  Austin nodded in agreement. “Earlier, I asked why you wanted me to come today and if you’d brought me to beat the crap out of him. Now I wish I had.”

  “If I’d told my father at the time it happened, he might have gotten rid of Bill then. But I was ashamed, afraid it was my fault, that I’d somehow encouraged him, but I didn’t say anything. I wish I’d told Dad. It might have saved our show horses a lot of pain.”

  Austin’s dislike for Billy grew exponentially. “Don’t blame yourself for what Billy did. He was five years older than you. He knew better.” Austin wanted to say a lot more, but this wasn’t the time or place. Instead, he asked, “I assume you steered clear of Billy after that?”

  “Trust me, I avoided him like the plague every time he showed up with Bill.” She flashed Austin a smile. “But just so you know, I asked you to come with me today because I wanted your company, not because I needed help facing Billy.”

  “You knew he’d be here?”

  “Not for sure, but I suspected it.” Her eyes met his across the table and held on. Her heart went soft as rainwater, and she wished she could verbalize how he made her feel. Safe was as close as she could come. “Anyway, thanks for coming with me.” She stood abruptly. “Speaking of the devil, we need to go to the barn.”

  Austin stood more slowly, shaken by the current that had passed between them and the tide of feeling swelling inside his heart. He saw again how she’d crumbled inside the barn, felt how good it had been to have her in his arms. Gruffly, he asked, “All right, what do you want to do?”

  “I think I have an idea. I got it while I was eating my ice cream.” She offered a mischievous smile. “You were right about ice cream fixing things.”

  * * *

  —

  They returned to the big barn and stopped at the table out front, where a mix of people were sitting and talking. Kenzie saw that two men wore inspector’s badges. She singled them out, offering both men a polite but troubled smile. “Excuse me….Can I have a few minutes of your time?”

  Austin, by her side, tensed when the men gave her an appreciative once-over with their eyes. “Sure, what can I do for you, little lady?” asked the one with a beard.

  “I…um…I was at the back of the barn and…and I saw that a horse in one of the stalls looks hurt. And I, well, to be frank, the whole area stinks of fumes.”

  The two men glanced at each other. “Are you reporting that you believe a horse in today’s competition shouldn’t be competing?” asked the other inspector.

  By now she had everyone’s attention at the table. “Yes. I have no doubt that the horse has an issue. I’m no expert, like the two of you, but in my opinion, the horse isn’t fit to compete in any show ring.”

  “Well, that’s just terrible,” snapped a woman at the table. Other voices buzzed disapproval. “And it makes me mad! We advertised a clean show here, a level playing field. Why don’t you check it out, Pete?”

  The bearded man lurched to his feet. “Maybe we should.” The second man joined him. “Where exactly in the barn is this horse?”

  Kenzie described Billy’s location and the two men left. The woman at the table who’d spoken up eyed Kenzie’s badge. “You’re Avery Caine’s daughter, aren’t you?”

  Kenzie stiffened. “Yes, I am.”

  “And you’re doing horse rescue work these days, aren’t you?” The woman’s face broke into a smile. “Let me shake your hand. My husband and I own rescue horses. They’re like members of our family. And without people like you, horses like ours would have to be put down. Thank you for the work you do.”

  A chorus of agreement came from others at the table. Astonished, Kenzie blinked, felt a surge of pleasure. “I—I’m glad to help. Thank you.” Maybe being a Caine wasn’t as toxic as it was a few years ago.

  As she and Austin walked away, he slung his arm around her shoulders and steered her toward the parking field. “I think your work is done here. And I’m betting that those ladies won’t let those men off the hook. They’ll make sure Billy’s disqualified.”

  “We could stay, watch the Big Lick show, and know for sure.”

  “I don’t care about the show. I want to take you to dinner, and I’ve heard there’s a great steak house out by the expressway. Are you hungry yet? Because all you’ve eaten lately is ice cream.”

  She poked him in the ribs. “Is that all you think about? Food? Your next meal?”

  And you, he thought, but said aloud, “Constantly!” And hoped she believed his fib.

  The dinner stop made them late for feeding their horses. As they worked in semidarkness, dispersing hay and shutting down for the night, Austin kept a watchful eye on Kenzie. He was looking for any residual effects of her heart episode from the afternoon. He saw none, only her quick, practiced movements of doing the job she loved. On the Fourth, she’d been able to get on top of the episode quickly, but today, if he hadn’t been near her, she likely would have collapsed. His thoughts were interrupted by the jangle of Kenzie’s phone.

  She pulled her cell from her jean’s pocket, read the display, and answered with a cheerful, “Hello, Lani!”

  “Hope it’s not too late to be calling.”

  “Nope. What’s up?”

  “I need a favor…a huge favor from you and Austin. But I want to ask you in person, face to face. Can the two of you meet with me Monday during my lunch hour around one? We can meet in the cafeteria, which by the way is excellent, in case you’re hesitant to eat hospital cafeteria food.”

  The words had tumbled from the phone so rapidly Kenzie almost didn’t catch them all. “Wait, slow down.” Austin had walked over, and Kenzie repeated Lani’s request for his benefit. He offered an “okay by me” shrug.

  “Sure, we can meet you.”

  “Oh, thank you!” Lani sounded relieved and somewhat breathless. “I’ll tell you everything when we meet.”

  “Any thoughts on what she might want?” Austin asked after Kenzie disconnected.

  Her brow puckered. “Not one. I hope she hasn’t hit a snag with her Trailblazers program.”

  A wispy cloud scuttled off the face of a late-rising half-moon, and in its light Austin thought of them together at the restaurant, sharing a table for two, candlelight flickering, sculpting her cheekbones. Light and shadow. Strength and fragility. He held out his hand. “We’ll hear her out soon enough. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

  Tonight, she didn’t refuse his offer. They took the long way around, skirted the woods and strolled through Jon’s work area. She liked holding his hand, thought back to their beginning, to how he’d come across as overly self-assured and asking if she wanted him to quit. So much had changed between them, and now she couldn’t imagine anyone else working with her.

  They approached her bungalow just as another cloud covered the moon. “Hey, your porch light’s out.”

  She felt his hand tighten as he scanned the darkness. “Yeah, my fault. I keep forgetting to change the bulb.”

  “Let me change it for you while I’m here.” At the front door, he reached up and discovered the bulb was simply loose. When he tightened it, they both shielded their eyes from the glare.

  “Ouch!” she said. “Turn it off.”

  He quickly complied, and just as quickly realized he was standing too close to her in the dark. The warmth of her body, the scent of sweet hay on her clothes, strawberry fields from her hair…intoxicating. Every muscle in his body tightened. He longed to take her in his arms, hungered for the feel of her warm mouth on his. Yet at the same time, he knew that if he gave in to the r
aw, urgent need, he wouldn’t be able to stop with a single hug or a simple kiss. Or from going inside the house if she invited him.

  The desire Kenzie had felt the afternoon in the gazebo flared like a match. How simple it would be to close her eyes, tilt her chin, offer her lips to his. She waited on the brink of indecision, and in that nanosecond understood that if she walked into the fire of him, she wouldn’t come out unchanged. Fear of such a fire flared.

  She took a tiny step away, and so did he. Breathing hard, he reached above her head and again tightened the bulb. This time neither blinked under the glare. Austin backed onto the lawn, and Kenzie dug for her key, and with shaking hands, she unlocked her front door. “See you in the morning,” she called, hardly able to catch her breath.

  “At seven,” he answered.

  Inside, she headed straight for her bedroom, and without turning on a lamp, threw herself flat across the mattress, growling in frustration. She lay splayed in the dark, her heart pounding, and fisted the coverlet. She took long, deep breaths to calm herself, knowing she was in no danger of passing out. The racing of her heart was natural, ordinary, a response to a hunger long suppressed. She had felt Austin’s heat as much as she’d felt her own. He had wanted her. She understood her reason for hesitating, but not his.

  * * *

  —

  Austin jogged to the old barn and, breathing hard, stretched flat on the grass and stared at the sky, heart racing like a bullet. Close call. He’d almost lost himself in her. Soldier trotted up, wagging his tail. Austin reached over and scratched the dog behind the ears. “No treats tonight, buddy. But you’re welcome to sit awhile.” The big dog stretched out and rested his head on his front paws.

  Austin knew what he must do, what he should have done weeks before. He ripped the burner phone out of his jeans and toggled to the second number on his two-number call list.

  The man answered on the fourth ring, his voice thick with interrupted sleep. “Boyd? What’s up?”

  “I want out.”

  “Hold on. Let me go to the next room.” He could picture the man shaking grogginess out of his head. “What do you mean, you want out?” This time the man’s voice came through clear and sharp.

  “I don’t want to do this job anymore.”

  “Why? What’s happened?”

  Austin realized this part of the conversation would be more difficult. “I’m tired of hanging around this place.” The excuse sounded lame as he said it.

  “Tired of scooping up horse poop?”

  “More complicated than that.”

  “How complicated? Are you in trouble?”

  More than you know. “Look, what’s the problem with me leaving before the girl goes back to college?”

  A short silence. “I’ve seen photos of the girl. She’s pretty, and you’re with her day after day, working side by side. Nothing but horses around you. You wouldn’t be the first guy who fell for the wrong person.”

  That the man had homed in on the truth so quickly was disheartening and embarrassing. No use denying it. “Okay, you’re right. I have feelings for her, and I shouldn’t.”

  “Are you in over your head?”

  “Not yet. I’m just asking you for an early escape.”

  “Don’t lose sight of why you’re really there. It took time, effort, and planning to set you up at Bellmeade. You’re doing three jobs at the same time. I don’t doubt that the lines are getting blurred.”

  Austin hadn’t forgotten. He had been set in place for a purpose. Pulling out would affect others. Including Kenzie. He couldn’t let that happen, not after meeting Billy. He massaged his temple, reorganized his priorities and objectives, felt the tightrope he walked go taut. “You’re right. I can’t leave. I shouldn’t have called. I just got rattled tonight.”

  “Then hang on for six more weeks.”

  “Thanks for the pep talk.”

  The listener chuckled. “I do what I can. I’ll check back with you in a few days.”

  Austin clicked off, staring up at the starless sky. Soldier inched closer, and Austin smoothed the white shepherd’s fur. “I’m stuck,” he told the dog, knowing he simply had to stay the course and maintain self-control.

  * * *

  —

  The atmosphere was strained between her and Austin the next morning. They fed the horses without much conversation, worked on separate tasks afterward, forgoing their usual camaraderie. Kenzie hadn’t slept much, and Austin didn’t look as if he had either. She told herself that what she’d felt on the doorstep had been a natural consequence of what happened yesterday. Austin had intervened with Billy, dealt with her sudden wooziness, and shared a candlelight dinner with her. The turn toward the physical had simply been an outgrowth of their long day of togetherness. Last night, she’d temporarily lost track of her personal reality. She already had a life plan in motion. Austin was a gorgeous distraction, her feelings for him a bump on the road of life. Move on.

  She was brushing Mamie in the breezeway of the stable, where it was cooler, when Austin came in from the round pen. “I rode Blue in the pen just now.”

  Kenzie turned and gave him a thousand-watt smile. “That’s terrific!” Because of the heat, training had meant shorter periods of time spent in the pen with the horse. Blue had taken a saddle but had shied when Austin had tried to mount. The stalemate between man and horse had gone on for days, but Austin hadn’t given up, and today the big gelding had given in.

  Kenzie’s excitement was short-lived when Austin said, “I want to talk about last night.” She tensed. He moved closer, stroked Mamie’s muzzle. “Here’s the truth. I wanted very much to kiss you, Kenzie.”

  “Why didn’t you?” The words were out before she’d meant to speak them.

  His expression softened. “Because you hesitated. I read that as your wanting me to back off, and so I did.”

  She well remembered the tiny clutch in the pit of her stomach. He’d sensed it. Extraordinary that he was so attuned to her. She offered a wry smile. “We’d had a great day and a candlelight dinner. I might have given the impression that I wanted you to kiss me. No harm done.” She felt her skin reddening over her half-truth. Last night she’d very much wanted his kiss. “In a few weeks, we’re both leaving. Hundreds of miles between us. So, walking away last night was smart for both of us. Besides, I think I have enough complications in my life already, don’t you?” She placed her palm over her heart and offered a tender smile.

  The gesture upended him. He grabbed a breath and stuck to the script he’d rehearsed lying alone in bed the night before. “But I don’t want to walk on eggshells around you either. I want to find our balance again, that compatibility vibe we had going. Please don’t lock me out.”

  If only I could. “I won’t. We’re still a team. The horses need us,” she insisted with a flip of her braid.

  He rolled his shoulders, shook out his arms, still not completely comfortable. Perhaps comfort would come in time. “So…on a high note, I went online this morning and Billy boy didn’t ride yesterday. His horse was withdrawn.”

  “Was anything said about him soring?” Austin shook his head, and Kenzie stamped her foot. “Until these owners are called out, things won’t change.”

  He was glad to see her flare of temper. He turned to leave. She said, “Wait! Will you give me a hand with Mamie? With both of us, the work will go faster.”

  His blue-green eyes remained solemn, but his smile was quick. “Of course I will.”

  She tossed him a brush from a nearby box, and he took his place on the opposite side of the Gray Lady. With practiced strokes, they worked as a team, sweeping off dust and dirt, regaining familiar habits, restoring normalcy and balance, out of the sun and the heat of the night before.

  The cafeteria hummed with the music of low chatter, the tinkling of silverware, and an occasional clank of ce
ramic plates and plastic trays hitting tables. Kenzie and Austin, wearing VISITOR tags, couldn’t locate Lani at any of the tables, so they grabbed seats along a wall banked by windows to wait. Minutes later, Lani rushed in, and Kenzie waved. Lani wove her way to their table.

  “Sorry, I’m late…crazy day.” She took a seat across from Kenzie and Austin, dropping a tote bag on the chair beside hers. She wore colorful hospital scrubs decorated with cartoon images of giraffes, elephants, zebras, and grinning lions.

  “I like your outfit,” Kenzie said.

  “Helps us look less scary to the kids. How about we get some food before we talk? If I miss this opportunity for a meal, I’m doomed to hospital vending machines all afternoon.”

  The line of people, most wearing blue or green scrubs, moved quickly. The food selection was bountiful, the servings generous, and in no time, Kenzie, Austin, and Lani stood at the cashier. “My treat,” Lani said, handing over her hospital credit card. “I invited you.” Austin protested. “And I get a discount,” she added with a laugh.

  Back at their table, they ate around mouthfuls of small talk about their rescue horses and Lani’s busy week before her wedding, until finally, Lani shoved her tray aside and reached into her tote bag. She removed a photo and handed it to Kenzie.

  The picture showed a brown-eyed girl smiling broadly. She was completely bald, had no eyebrows or eyelashes, and her skin held a yellowish cast. “Her name is Jamey Taylor. She’s thirteen, almost fourteen. She has a rare form of cancer, and she’s dying.”

  Kenzie’s head jerked up from the photo. Austin slid the photo from her hand, gave it a look, and wordlessly passed it back to Lani. “Sorry to be so abrupt. Sadly, we’ve exhausted all her treatment options, and Jamey’s parents, Jim and Martha Taylor, have decided to take her home for her final days. I’m telling you this because they gave me permission to talk to you about something very special we want to do for her.”