The Girl with the Broken Heart

by Lurlene McDaniel

  “I asked Jon if I could come in his place,” Kenzie confessed. “Do you mind if I take you?”

  His grin was her answer.

  * * *

  —

  Austin was buckled into the passenger seat, and Kenzie had inched the car to the parking lot exit, where she stopped and let the engine idle. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I…I want to ask you something.” Her hands were white knuckled on the wheel, and her heart raced. She turned, looked in his eyes. “I want you to come someplace with me while you recover.”

  “Where?”

  “Our family cabin, up in the mountains. The woods are beautiful, and…and I want to see them again. With you. While you get stronger. But only if you want to go.”

  The unexpected request left him lost for words. Seconds ticked past. Finally, he came up with “I haven’t got a thing to wear.”

  She burst out laughing, and so did he. “We’ll go to the bunkhouse long enough for you to pack a duffel bag. How’s that?”

  “You’re on.”

  With that, she popped the SUV in gear and headed to Bellmeade.

  The drive to the Caine mountain retreat took four and a half hours with a stop for gas and a burger. At some point, Austin reclined his seat from its upright position, easing the ache in his midsection. He slept for a while, with Kenzie slipping him sidelong glances, in part to make sure he was all right, and in part to be certain he was really with her and not a figment of her imagination.

  He awoke when the car began a steep ascent and winced when the road became a bumpy crawl of curves and bends over steep, stony terrain. The view out her windshield was of darkness lit by headlights skirting trees and rocks. He raised the seat. “Where are we?”

  “Almost there. Did I mention that the cabin’s isolated?” Minutes later, she raised a garage door with a remote and parked.

  He grimaced, exiting the car. “I’ll grab my bag. Where’s your stuff?”

  “It’s already here. I was coming whether you came with me or not, because this cabin is one of my favorite places on earth.”

  They climbed a short flight of garage stairs and entered a side door where she flipped on light switches. “The place isn’t huge, just one story and a basement, but the views are amazing. We used to come every summer, and most school fall breaks.”

  Austin thought the cabin unpretentious—a large single room with a kitchen at one end with a freestanding island, synthetic log walls, a wood-beamed ceiling, and wide-plank pine floors smelling of lemon oil and dotted with colorful area rugs. It was the epitome of homey, and totally different from the Caine house in Nashville.

  The living area was arranged into two activity areas—one with a pool table, a game table, a dartboard, and two old-fashioned pinball machines. The other section held two L-shaped sofas, an oversized leather recliner, and side tables, all facing an enormous rock fireplace with generous windows on either side, now curtained. “Nice place. Looks brand-new.”

  “Mom and Dad remodeled the place years ago to suit our family. I hired a cleaning crew to spiff it up and stock the refrigerator. There’s a small town at the foot of the mountain because the area has year-round residents. If we need anything, it’s only twenty minutes away in the valley.”

  “When was the last time you were here as a family?”

  “I was sixteen. Caro was twelve, and put out and pouty because she’d had to leave friends and ballet classes for the summer.” Reminiscences warmed Kenzie face. “Of course, I was in heaven.”

  “Without your horse?”

  “There’s a stable in town, and Dad boarded Princess Ronan and a horse for himself while we were here. He and I rode together every day.”

  “He trailered two horses all this way? Amazing.”

  “It was our thing. Before his fall from grace.” She chased away the cloud. “Come, see your room.” He followed her to a door that opened from a small foyer. The room held two twin beds, stacked with pillows, on matelassé coverlets of forest green. “There’re only two bedrooms in the cabin. The other is the master, behind the kitchen. This was mine and Caroline’s. There’s a bathroom behind that door.” She pointed.

  “Which bed was yours?”

  “The one beside the window. I loved lying there at night staring at the moon and stars.”

  He dropped his duffel bag on it. “Now it’s mine.”

  His closeness sent goose bumps up her arms. She backed out of the room, and he followed. She walked to the fridge, opened the door. “Want a snack? A drink?”

  “A soda.”

  She brought it to him. “I’ll show you the deck and the view tomorrow when it’s daylight.” He could see that Kenzie was nervous, fidgety, and wondered if she was having second thoughts about bringing him here.

  “I don’t need television. What are you going to do now?”

  “I think I’ll sit in the recliner and read. Feel free to pass out.”

  “I slept in the car.” His smile was quick. “And if you’re staying out here, so am I.” He went to a sofa, stretched out so that he had eyes on the recliner.

  “You don’t have to—”

  He pulled out his cell. “Just happen to have a book downloaded to my phone. I want to be where you are, Kenzie. It’ll go a long way to help with my recovery.”

  * * *

  —

  Austin woke to the smell of frying bacon. He eased out of bed, his ribs protesting, washed up, and walked to the island where Kenzie was turning strips of bacon in a frying pan. “You sure know how to get a guy moving in the morning.”

  Her smile was mischievous. “Bacon, better than an alarm clock. Eggs and toast?” He nodded. “Don’t fear—we won’t starve. I have a wide range of cooking skills. Peanut butter and jelly, frozen pizza, mac ’n’ cheese, hot dogs, and sub sandwiches. Balanced.”

  “No ramen noodles?” He feigned shock.

  “Please, every cook has standards.”

  He chuckled. “Well, count on me for spaghetti, tacos, grilled cheese, and tomato soup.”

  “And cleanup?”

  “We’ll work side by side. Teamwork.”

  She dazzled him with a smile.

  They ate a leisurely breakfast, and afterward she walked him outside to an expansive deck, chandeliered over the side of the mountain. He saw an uninterrupted view of far-off mountain peaks and treetops tinged with autumn, in air crisp enough for him to see his breath. “Wow!”

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

  He turned to look at her. “Amazing view.”

  Her pulse ticked up. She stepped back from the railing. “Later this morning, we’ll take a walk.”

  They went inside, and she opened the curtains, letting the morning light fill the room. “The deck faces west, so sunsets are spectacular.”

  He caught her hand. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

  She got lost in the look in his eyes, gave a slight nod. “Glad you came with me.”

  He let go of her hand. “Before we walk, I’ll need help wrapping my rib cage. The extra support helps.”

  When it was time, he sat on the island’s countertop because it was easier for her to reach around him from an angle. With his chest and midsection bare, she easily saw the bruising, large areas of black and blue fading to a greenish tinge at the edges. Seeing her look of dismay, he rested his hands on her shoulders. “It’ll go away. Bodies heal.” He patted the patch on his chest. “Stitches come out next time I see the doc. I’ll be good as new.”

  Kenzie’s throat had closed with emotion. All she could do was reach around him and grab the rolled bandage, her cheek grazing his skin. He took the roll from her at his side and pulled it tight across his middle. “Just like wrapping a horse’s forelegs,” he said to lighten her mood.

  “Except very different,” she countered, takin
g the roll around his back again. Life and death hinging on a single twist of his body.

  * * *

  —

  Their walks in the woods became a daily habit, sometimes twice daily. The cool air of morning warmed, then cooled again with the shadows of late afternoon. Austin wore a sweatshirt, the only heavy layer of clothing he’d brought with him to Bellmeade. Kenzie had her pick of several she’d brought from home. They threaded their way through leaves that had already fallen on makeshift trails. In the valley, trees would likely still be green since autumn rolled down mountains, and springtime marched up them. Winter would arrive here first too. Laws of nature.

  On one of their walks, she gathered the courage to ask a question she’d wanted to pose since the night she talked to Stinson. “Was anything that you told me about growing up true? Your family? Braveheart?”

  “Absolutely. Always tell the truth. Boy Scout code.” He winked when she looked at him, and she smiled because it made her feel better about so many of their talks, when she’d been so heartrendingly truthful to him. “I left out a highlight, though. My father was a cop, a detective. He’s retired now, but from the time I was twelve, I wanted to be a cop just like him.”

  That gave her pause. “Still?”

  “It’s who I am, Kenzie. Can’t change that.” Of course, she understood because she knew what she wanted, how important her plans were to her.

  A leaf fell, caught in her hair. She’d worn it down the past few days, only tied it in a ponytail when she was cooking. They had stopped in the middle of the wooded trail and were facing each other. He plucked out the errant leaf. “Does your family know what happened to you? The attack?”

  “Not yet. It would just make Mom anxious, and I don’t want that. I’ll tell them eventually. Maybe if I go home for Christmas.” He tucked a hank of her hair behind her ear. Any excuse to touch her.

  Christmas. Her family’s first without Caroline. Austin realized where her thoughts had gone. He draped his arm over her shoulder. “Come on, let’s keep moving.”

  * * *

  —

  He stopped wrapping his torso after several days. His flexibility had improved, but having her so close to him each morning was difficult. His self-control was eroding, and physical distance was necessary. At least outdoors, on their walks, he could distract himself. Inside, he kept to the sofa, she to the recliner. He went into his room at night before she went to hers. He lay in the dark, and with his blood running hot, sleep came slowly. Through the window he’d watch the moon arc across the sky while lying in bed, just as she must have done years ago. The empty bed across from his held the ghost of a girl he’d never known, a sister who’d broken Kenzie’s heart. Instinct told him Kenzie was wrapped in a fragile shell, wanting to get out and not knowing how. He had to be patient. She was worth the wait.

  Midweek, they made a trip into town for groceries, because Austin insisted. “I can’t make spaghetti sauce without tomato paste and pasta.” It was after Labor Day, and the small town was tourist-free, with several storefront signs reading SEE YOU NEXT SUMMER. Sunshine edged with an autumn chill reminded him of Virginia.

  While shopping, Kenzie bought two bags of marshmallows. “We’ll roast them in the fireplace for dessert. Caro and I used to do that.”

  * * *

  —

  That night, Austin straightened two wire coat hangers, got a fire going. Kenzie turned off all other lights so that only the fire logs lit the room. They sat on the floor side by side, the bag of marshmallows between them. She was roasting her third when she whispered, “Thank you for the donations to my rescue program.”

  Left field. She’d tossed him another live one. “You weren’t supposed to know—”

  “But I do know, and I’m saying thank you. Listen, I don’t mind if you keep your salary for the work you did. It’s only fair. You worked hard and deserve to be paid. I’ll get some extra money from Dad now that things are better between us.”

  “What makes you think you haven’t already?” Austin stared into the flames, turned the wire so that the marshmallow didn’t char.

  She pondered his comment until she caught the meaning. “You gave the money my father paid you to the rescue program too?”

  Austin kept his eye on the marshmallow, pulled it out of the fire, saw that it was toasted perfectly brown. “The department was still paying me while I was sequestered. I didn’t need the extra money. Your rescue program did.” He blew on the sugary puff to cool it, pulled it off the wire. He faced her, saw her moist eyes shimmering in the fire’s light. “Open,” he said. She did, and he popped the confectionary into her mouth. “It’s no big deal.”

  Kenzie felt tears rising inside her like a tide. “Having you with me this summer…” She stopped. “I’ll miss you.” She rose and eased onto the sofa behind them.

  He came to sit beside her. “If it matters, I’m seriously considering looking for a job with the Windemere police department. I think I can make detective sooner there than in Knoxville.” A half-truth. Windemere was a pleasant and expanding small town, but in truth, he wanted to be nearer to Kenzie while she attended Vanderbilt. “I told my boss and he promised he’d do what he could to facilitate my transfer.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Boy Scouts don’t lie.” The look in his eyes dove into her heart.

  She was momentarily overcome by the idea he might remain. The miles between them would be scant as compared to the distance between Nashville and Knoxville. But what then?

  “Now I have a question for you, Kenzie.” He locked his fingers behind his head, leaned back. This was an opening he’d been waiting for, and he took it. “Will you tell me about your heart problem? The whole story?”

  She startled. “I…I have told you. You’ve seen my heart do a number on me. I don’t count the hyperthermia. That can happen to anyone.”

  “No, you told me about the past, your diagnosis when you were a kid. You’ve told me about the present, your meds, tests, and annual visits. What you haven’t told me, Kenzie, is about your future. What’s coming?”

  Austin had walked her into the only place she hadn’t wanted to go with him. Her heart issues. “Why talk about that now? It’s marshmallow time.”

  “Because it’s important. And because I want to know.”

  She felt deflated. Leveling with him would likely alter everything between them—whatever it was. Yet he had been with her twice when she’d encountered serious medical problems, and both times he’d run into the situation, not away from it. “You’ve seen me work. You know I don’t hold back. You’ve seen how I heft saddles, pitch hay, wash and groom the horses. I’m strong.”

  “All true. You’re strong and brave. I’ve watched you fight and overcome, but I still want the clear, unvarnished truth.”

  She saw there was no squirming out of the discussion tonight. If he insisted on hearing the truth, she’d give it to him. “So, after my tests in April, my doctor took me into his office for a consultation, just like he always does. He enjoys giving me a good report. You know, statistics, facts, numbers, graphs, comparisons to past reports and timelines. But my parents weren’t there this year. It was just me and the doctor.” She plucked at a button embedded in the cushion.

  “He had my folder on his desk in front of him with my latest test results. He gave me a big smile and flipped it open, but I reached across his desk, flattened my hand on the paperwork, and said, ‘Please, no numbers. Keep it simple.’ ” Her hand movements reinforced her words.

  She stopped speaking, her expression far away, seeing another room, another face. Austin sat absolutely still and, feeling his own heart speed up, tasted fear. Kenzie returned to the present, gentled him with a look. “My doctor looked me full in the face, his eyes very serious, and he said, ‘Kenzie, you will never grow old.’ ”

  Austin felt as if he’d been sta
bbed all over again. He struggled to absorb her brutal words, but couldn’t. “Can it be fixed?”

  “Eventually I’ll need a valve replacement. You know, out with the old, in with the new. Such a surgery will slow deterioration, but it won’t fix the underlying problem: stenosis. My childhood illness is hardening my arteries and constricting blood flow throughout my body. It worsens over time.”

  “What about a heart transplant?”

  “I’m not a good candidate. Currently, I have ‘youth on my side,’ but the Windemere cardiologist did tests and warned me that there was scarring of my heart and blood vessels. She sent her report to my medical team in Vanderbilt.” Kenzie remained dry-eyed as she talked. “In some people, the problems move more quickly.”

  Austin’s face told the story of everything he was feeling. She wished she could walk back the truth. Wanting to sound more upbeat, she said, “I have plans, Austin, just as you do. I’m already behind schedule with college because of taking this semester off. I have my dream job ready to go next summer. And honestly, if valve replacement were a permanent solution, I’d go through open-heart surgery tomorrow. But it isn’t. All I want is a chance to live my life on my terms. Why change my plans simply because I had a lousy hand dealt to me?”

  “I love you.”

  His unexpected statement stopped her cold. “You love me? I…I don’t know what to say.”

  He looked bemused. “Typically, the other person says ‘I love you too.’ Unless, of course, you don’t love me.” He was taking a gamble. In or out. Win or lose. Winner take all.

  Tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t think you…thought of me that way. All summer, you held back, walked away, if I got close.” She pulled out every word as if it were a thorn, remembering the times he’d left her wanting, longing for more of him. He touched her only when necessary, retreated if she came too near. She’d been the one to kiss him the summer night after the wedding. And he’d never asked her for another.