Unbreak This Heart

by Betty Shreffler

  Closing the door, he faces me, opening his left arm. “Come here.”

  Instantly, without hesitation, I fill the space and rest my head against his shoulder.

  Atop my head, his kiss sends a warm sensation over me.

  “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I am too.”

  Pulling back, my gaze lingers over his face. Emotion fills his eyes as he looks at me just before he touches my chin and brings me in for a kiss. A kiss that’s passionate and full of need. With a stroke of his hand, his fingers follow the length of my hair.

  “You look gorgeous.”

  Having decided on a knee length dress with sleeves and a loose curl to my hair, I appreciate he’s noticed my effort and likes what he sees.

  “Thank you.”

  Carter opens the door for us. “You ready?”

  “If you are.”

  “Yeah.”

  He remains still, waiting for me to walk through the door first. Stepping over the threshold, I glance back at him, unable to withhold my smile. If the night is going to be anything like the start, it’s going to be an amazing time.

  Carter’s steps are slow, methodical, but he closes and locks the door behind him, and with careful steps, he walks to the car, the cane assisting him. I keep pace alongside him, and he slips his free hand into mine.

  ***

  “Oh, Alex, you look beautiful.” Sandy’s arms wrap around me as soon as I step through her front door. “It’s so good to see you.”

  With a loving embrace, I squeeze her back. Tears moisten my eyes as she holds me close. I believe we share an understanding of the similar pain we hold down deep. Easing out of the hug, Sandy turns to Carter, her body language indicating she’s unsure of how to greet him.

  Carter reaches an arm out, and her face brightens, filling with a smile only an appreciative mother can have. It doesn’t matter that Carter doesn’t remember all of us. He’s still the incredible man we all know. That hasn’t changed.

  Thunderous steps enter the kitchen and I know it’s Kevin. His black t-shirt is stretched over his solid muscles and slightly tucked into his black jeans. His height towers over everyone else, making me wonder if their father was just as tall.

  “Hey C!”

  Kevin moves in for a brotherly half-hug and a pat on Carter’s back. Carter’s tight muscles instantly relax and his expression transitions to one of relief.

  “Hey, bro.”

  “There’s a fight on. You want to join us?”

  Carter’s gaze switches to me, I immediately nod. “Go. Please. I’ll help your mom in the kitchen while you guys enjoy watching the fight.”

  Taking my hand in his, he brushes his thumb over it. “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” Leaning in, I kiss him on the cheek.

  Sandy’s already made herself busy and Kevin turns back toward the living room. Carter takes the moment of privacy and pulls me to him. “I appreciate it and I appreciate you.” With a kiss, he steals my breath.

  Nibbling my lip, the butterflies flap in my belly as I watch him make his way into the living room.

  Sandy comes to my side, bumping me with her hip. “Even with his memory loss, he still adores you.”

  “I think there’s something he’s not sharing. He seems emotional, more affectionate than normal…than what was normal,” I correct.

  “Give him time. He’ll share it with you or with Kevin. I know that for sure. Even though he’s lost his memory, he’s still the same man, still the son I know.”

  “He is. I’m falling in love with him all over again.”

  “I’m very pleased to hear that,” Sandy grins, handing me a wine glass.

  “We’re taking a trip with Jane and Kyle this weekend to Key West.” Standing in front of the counter, I busy myself helping her.

  Over her shoulder, she gives an approving smile. “That’ll be good for him and your relationship.”

  “He did say on Sunday, I’m officially his girlfriend.”

  I can’t contain my giggle as Sandy’s eyes brighten and her smile widens. A knock at the door interrupts our girl talk. Annalise and Phillip walk in and I greet Annalise with a hug.

  “Hi, Alex. Where’s Carter?”

  I nod toward the living room and Phillip wastes no time rushing in there. Following behind him, I watch Carter observe him and work through his recent memory of what Phillip’s name is.

  “Carter!”

  Phillip’s body language indicates he wants to hug his cousin. Carter notices and struggles to stand, slowly stabilizes himself, and hugs Phillip.

  “I got in! I got into Florida State,” Phillip beams at Carter.

  “Congrats,” he replies, carefully sitting back down.

  “It was because of you. You helped me fill out the application. You pushed me to work hard at baseball, and now, I’ve got a scholarship.”

  Carter’s expression indicates his emotional struggle.

  “Is it true? You really don’t remember any of us?” Phillip’s sudden change in tone pulls at my heart.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”

  “You don’t remember me,” Phillip’s head drops and the disappointment is evident, “do you?”

  Everyone’s attention has become drawn to their conversation.

  “I’m sorry, Peter, I don’t, but—”

  Carter’s voice trails off as Phillip walks out of the living room and out the back door. The door slams behind him and Carter swallows, the emotion on his face is heartbreaking.

  His hand runs over his hair. “Shit, I said something wrong.”

  Kevin pats him on the back as he rises from the couch. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

  “Alex,” Carter calls. Sitting down next to him, I rub his back as his head rests in his hand. “That’s not his name, is it?”

  “It’s all right. Kevin will help him understand. Carter…” Placing my fingers on his chin, I turn his face to mine. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was an honest mistake. Phillip is upset because you were very close. You’re a father figure to him.”

  Annalise steps in and explains, “After the divorce, Phillip started looking up to you. You came to his games, encouraged him, and kept him out of trouble. This is hard for him because he feels like he’s losing a father all over again. I told him about your accident, but he didn’t want to believe it was true that you’d lost your memory. He cried a bit at the thought of you not remembering him.”

  Carter’s silence and locked jaw give away how upset he is. I look to Annalise and Sandy. “Can you give us a moment alone?”

  Sandy places her hand at Annalise’s elbow, and the two walk out the back door.

  “This is hard for you, I know.”

  Turning abruptly, he pulls me into his arms and lays his head against mine. Beneath his chest, I hear the heavy heartbeat and sense his sorrow.

  “I had a memory of you today. It was brief, so brief, I stood there clinging to it, wishing it would come back. I want them all back. I want to remember you, all of you.”

  A warm droplet touches my head and I know he’s shed a tear. Pulling out of his arms, I place my hands on his face. “I understand this is hard, there are days like this that make you feel like a foreigner with your own family, but it won’t be this way forever, I promise. New memories will be made, and in time, you’ll feel better and more comfortable around all of us.”

  Taking my hand in his, he moves it to his lips and kisses it. “I already feel comfortable with you.”

  My smile is followed by a kiss. Carter’s hand lays at my thigh as his lips move against mine in an affectionate dance, each of us needing, wanting, but restraining. The opposite hand brushes through my loose curls.

  “I’m glad you’re here with me tonight.”

  “I am too. Are you ready for me to invite them back in?”

  “Yeah, I owe Phillip an apology.”

  I caress Carter’s shoulder. “I know Phillip will be happy to watch the fight with you. Ask hi
m questions. He’s talkative, enjoys talking about sports and MMA with you.”

  “Alex,” he stops me, taking my hand in his as I stand. “Thank you.”

  With my kiss, I reply, “I’m here for you, always.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  —

  ALEX

  Walking through Carter’s door, I’m filled with relief the dinner at Sandy’s took a turn for the better. Carter, Kevin, and Phillip bonded all evening, chatting about everything and anything. As we left Sandy’s, it was obvious how happy he was and that he’d had a genuinely good time.

  Taking my hand in his, he twirls me in front of him. “Stay the night with me.”

  Giggling from the spin, I rest my palms against his chest. “I’d love to.”

  Placing his fingers on my jaw, he raises my chin, his blue eyes filled with sensuous desire. “I wish I could carry you to my room.”

  “I don’t care how I get to your bed as long as you’re in it.” Winking, I scoot off to his kitchen to gather a couple drinks.

  Carter watches me, a smile raising the corner of his mouth as he gradually makes his way to his room.

  As I enter with two beers, I stand in the doorway mesmerized by his naked torso. The intricate ink across his skin and the indentations of his muscles create a work of art in the light. Approaching him, I place both beers on the nightstand. His heated gaze follows my movements as I slowly trace my fingers over his skin, following the trail of ink.

  “There’s a Native American healing quote I found in my things. It says The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live. It stuck with me. Do you know why?”

  Sensually tracing my finger, I shake my head.

  “Because I don’t want the man who I was to die and be forgotten, but I want the man I am now to live.”

  My hand is wrapped in his fingers as his mouth claims mine, taking me with a need so strong, so fierce, I moan beneath his kiss, hungry for his touch, his love.

  His weight shifts, and I feel him adjust his footing, putting his weight on one leg. Strong hands lift me briefly, placing me on his bed. He falls above me, arms on each side of me, blue eyes piercing. The fabric of my dress is raised as his hand caresses up the outside of my thigh. My breathing increases as I’m already wet with desire.

  “I want to be inside you. I want to feel you fall apart beneath me, wanting me as much as I want you.”

  Taking his hand, I guide him between my legs. “I want you, you, the man in front of me.”

  My head falls back as his fingers slide into me, caressing me. Warm lips kiss my neck, my chest, my cheek as his fingers pleasure me, making my body tingle with satisfaction.

  Reaching down, I unbutton his jeans, releasing his erection. Taking him in my hand, I smile against his lips as he moans with relief.

  “I need to see you, all of you,” he whispers.

  Removing his fingers leaves me aching with want. Sitting up, I gather my hair over my shoulder and turn, my back to him. With a gentle movement, he lowers my zipper. Fabric collecting at my arms, I stand to face him, lowering my arms and letting the dress fall to the floor.

  Seductive blue eyes look me up and down, admiring what he sees. “You’re gorgeous.”

  Taking my time, I thumb each side of my underwear and lower them off my hips.

  Carter sucks in a breath, his gaze falling to my trimmed, dark patch. Reaching out, he takes hold of my hips and pulls me to him. Leaning forward, his mouth closes over my nipple, licking and sucking, then switching to the other, bringing my body to a state of desperate need. My ass fills his hands as I climb above him, straddling him. Pushing me forward and back, he moves me over his erection.

  “Do I need a condom?”

  As I shake my head no, Carter’s eyes light up.

  Fisting his erection, I slide onto him. Wet, slick heat is combined with the incredible sensation of him filling me. Head falling back, his grip tightens on my hips as I move up then back down.

  Raising his hips, he lowers his briefs and jeans farther down his ass and thighs giving me more room to ride him. Gazes locked, I place my hands on his chest, riding his cock. The slick sound of us coming together fills my ears as I increase my pace. His grip on my hips helps rock me and pushes his head just where I want him. With each thrust of my hips, my body hums with pleasure, and my breathy moans fill the room as I near my orgasm.

  My release courses through me, and my sigh is smothered with a sensuous, dominating kiss. Arms enfold me, rubbing my back and hair, keeping me close to him as he thrusts one last time, reaching his own orgasm.

  I’m pulled down to his chest, and we give into obsessive, fervent kisses. Minutes pass before we pull apart, breaths slowing as we stare at one another.

  “I already want more of you.”

  “We can make love all night until we pass out with exhaustion. I love the feel of you inside me.”

  “So much for me doing the right thing.” A hint of regret etches into the creases of his brow.

  “I wanted this as much as you did, don’t feel guilty.” My eyes close, indulging in the touch of his hand stroking my face and hair.

  “I’m a lucky man to have you as my girlfriend.”

  “I’m just as lucky to have you.”

  His kiss comes sweet and loving. “Let’s take a shower together. I’ll help you get clean.”

  ***

  Carter’s small chair in the shower came in handy for me to sit atop his lap while he washed my hair. Stepping out of the shower, I wrap myself in one of his velvety green towels. Giving him a hand, he uses my shoulder to carefully step out of the shower to his sink. He winks at me when he catches me admiring his uncovered package.

  Moving into his room, I give him privacy in the bathroom. With my underwear pulled over my hips, I look through his closet and pull out a shirt to wear. When he enters his room, a towel wrapped around his waist, his cane in hand, he stops and admires me sitting at the edge of his bed, drinking one of the beers. His smile is wide, his eyes light with contentment.

  “You look good in my shirt.” He nods toward his jeans on the floor. “Toss me my phone.”

  I do as instructed, and he fusses with his phone for a moment then aims it toward me and snaps a photo. Laughing, I set down the beer. “I probably look terrible.”

  “Not possible. Lay on the bed, I’ll take another.”

  “Take one of us.” I pat the mattress and the corner of his eyes crease as he smiles.

  Dropping the cane as he reaches the bed, he sits next to me. Pulling me closer to him, he reaches out and snaps a photo of us. A giggle escapes me as he kisses my cheek and snaps another. The phone is tossed aside, and I laugh as Carter flings me to my back. My giggles continue as his lips and tongue tickle across my stomach. Opening his shirt wider, he reveals my chest.

  My laughter settles as kisses are placed on each breast, my nipples pulled between his teeth. Each nipple tightens to a pointed peak, and Carter touches each one, massaging them between his fingers before nibbling on them again. My breathing turns to excited moans as he touches between my legs.

  “Do you want me?”

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  Tugging at the towel, he reveals his erection. Raising my hips, I pull down my underwear. The touch of his tongue to my clit ignites a fire at my core. I tug at his hair as I moan out in pleasure.

  ***

  Laying on his chest, his caresses up and down my back nearly lulling me to sleep.

  “This has been an amazing night.”

  A kiss to my head brings a smile to my lips.

  “It has. I don’t want tomorrow to come. You’ll have to leave, and I don’t want you to.”

  “I’ll come over after work. Cook you dinner if you like.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Any special requests?”

  “Italian. It seems to be my favorite.”

  Inside I’m beaming. “I have the perfect dish.”

  Carter’s c
aressing stops, his hand stills on my back. His breathing becomes rhythmic, and I lay against his chest, thankful to be falling asleep in his arms.

  The tip of the blade scrapes across the skin of my inner thigh. With all my strength I withhold my cry of fear. It only fuels his sadistic torture further.

  “I can end this. Slice this blade across your artery, you’d bleed out, and this would all be over. You want that? For this to be over?”

  Inside I’m screaming, begging, pleading for my life, but to him I say nothing. There are no words that will satisfy him.

  Warm sweat beads across my forehead, chest, and back as I’m awakened to my own screaming and thrashing. Protective arms instantly wrap around me and rock me against his chest.

  “I’m here, Alex. No one is going to hurt you. I’m right here. I got you.”

  My tears stream down my cheeks and drip onto his chest, but he doesn’t care. He holds me tight until my own body stops trembling. Hands, loving and careful, stroke my hair and back.

  “Do these nightmares happen often?”

  “I have them more often if I’ve been stressed out.”

  “You’ve been coping with my memory loss and injury on your own, haven’t you?”

  Against his chest, I nod. “I talk to Jane some, but I don’t want her to worry I’m going to withdraw and get depressed again.”

  “You’re not still carrying guilt, are you?”

  “A little, it’s hard not to, but I’ve kept to our promise. The week not seeing or talking to each other was hard for me though. I was afraid it might be the beginning of a breakup, but hoped you only needed space to take care of things and get settled in.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you.” I can hear the guilt in his tone.

  “Please don’t feel guilty. Everything has worked out. I’m just being honest about how I felt, why I was stressed.” Easing me out of his arms, he wipes the tears from my cheeks. The moonlight streaming in his window illuminates his handsome face.

  “I don’t want you to be stressed or worried. I’ve realized we have something special. I admit, I’ve had a pull toward you since the first day I saw you in my hospital room. It was strange to me at first, but I had to adjust to so many things, it was overwhelming. My therapist had me start a journal. I wrote about you every time you came to see me and sometimes in between. Little things stayed with me like your vanilla perfume, your soft hair, your stunning green eyes. I’d close my own eyes and see yours. You had me infatuated and I barely knew you. I didn’t know how to handle it and when I came here, I had to adjust to a new environment again. I wanted a clear head to focus on what I needed to do next. When you’re around, I’m too distracted to have a clear head. When you’re around, you’re all I think about.”