Finding Passion (Colorado Veterans Book 3)

by Tiffani Lynn

  “No, not this time. I plan to give you my heart and a whole lot more. I’m scared, but I’m willing. Come on, cariño, take the leap with me.” Darling is even sexier in Spanish.

  His thumb brushes across the satin covering my nipple and I close my eyes. This is a horrible idea, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to say no.

  “Javier…” I stall, trying to think straight.

  “Give me the chance, please.”

  My brain, heart and body go to battle with each other. Heart and body are on one side, ready to take my brain down. He’s standing close enough that we’re exchanging breath when I relent. “Okay, stay.”

  He reaches over and locks the door, then scoops me up and carries me to my bedroom and lays me on the bed.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Javier

  That little green nightie is enough to break me. She has on a matching robe over the top but it’s as short as the nightie and now it’s open down the front. She has small breasts, but they’re perky and responsive and perfect for someone like me who’s more of an ass man than anything. Women who are curvy through the hips and ass do it for me every time and Val can fill out a pair of jeans in the best way. The first time I fucked her, that perfect round ass was in full view the whole time. I’ve had her other ways since then, but it’s her ass that I dream about at night.

  I study her as I unbutton my shirt the rest of the way and drop it on the floor. Her eyes follow my every move and I lower my pants, leaving only my boxer briefs on, and crawl onto the bed, laying my body next to hers, halfway on her. I keep eye contact as I push the robe out of the way to get to the hardened peaks of her breasts poking into the soft fabric, and circle them. She arches into my touch and hums with pleasure. Although I feel like I could quickly devour her, I take my time running my fingers over every part I can touch, until I move to her legs and grab the hem of the gown, lifting it slowly while she squirms.

  When I get it up just high enough, I find that she’s not wearing any panties, and I groan when my fingers brush across the tiny strip of dark hair covering her sex. She shifts restlessly and I continue to drag the satin higher. Her stomach muscles jump and she giggles a little.

  “Ticklish?” I ask, unable to hide the smile her giggle brings out.

  “A little, but please don’t tickle me right now.”

  “Don’t worry, tickling is the last thing on my mind.”

  She bites her lower lip and relaxes back into the mattress as her breasts are exposed to the cool air of the house. Leaning in, I swirl my tongue around the hard pink tip and watch her squirm. Then I switch sides and repeat, adding a little nip with my teeth at the end. She arches up and twists, sliding her bent knee up over my hip. Her new position gives me perfect access to get my hands on her ass cheek and I almost come when I get a chance to squeeze it. It’s perfect. Firm, yet soft and round, fitting in my palm with ease. Damn. I groan again and she shifts once more, this time taking me to my back and perching herself on top of me. She shrugs off her robe then grabs the bottom of her nightgown, which had dropped back down to cover her when she moved, and pulls it off. Now all of her creamy flesh is exposed, the faint tan lines from her bathing suit are the only variation. I grip both ass cheeks in my palms and my dick hardens to the point of pain. I jackknife into a sitting position so we’re face-to-face and squeeze her perfect ass again. I could do that all night.

  Her face is suddenly serious. “Javier, I can’t go further with you if you don’t want more with me after tonight. I may have been able to do that before, but I can’t now. I care too much and want so much more with you.”

  “I never would’ve come here this time if I didn’t want more with you. You’re not a woman I can walk away from in the morning.”

  “Javie,” she whispers.

  I sit up straighter, her breasts pressed against my chest. “I missed you. Everything about you, not just the sex. I’ve missed your smile and your laughter, your sweet voice and…” I lean in to kiss her neck and sniff her skin, “the smell of your skin. I’ve missed it all.” She rewards me with a huge smile and I kiss her hard and long.

  When I break the kiss, I tell her, “There’s something I need to do before we go any further though.”

  “What?” she asks, looking concerned.

  Without warning I flip her to her back and then quickly roll her so her belly is to the bed. She squeals when I smack both ass cheeks and then lean down to kiss them. “God, you’ve got a great ass,” I mumble against her skin and she giggles. When I bite into the flesh lightly, she squeals and I chuckle. Then I lean over the edge of the bed and snag my wallet, pulling a condom out and dropping it on the bed. This time I lightly run my hands from her ankles, up her legs, until I reach her ass again and begin to knead the flesh.

  Looking over her shoulder at me, she smiles. “I didn’t realize you were an ass man.”

  “Oh yeah. It was the first thing I noticed about you that night at the benefit dinner and then again at Hector’s. It’s perfect.” I drop my boxers and roll the condom down my shaft. “Raise up,” I say and tug her hips.

  She raises up onto her knees and I caress her ass, letting my cock slide down between her ass cheeks until it rests at the entrance of her pussy. She leans back into me and I grip her hips tighter. So damn slowly, I push inside her, groaning the whole way until my hips are flush against her cheeks. She lowers her chest to the bed and pushes back against me, moaning.

  “God, Val, you’re beautiful like this.” I run my hands over her hips and up her back. She rocks forward and back again, ready for me to move and stop admiring. I thrust and hold for a split second before I get to work, sliding as deep as I can over and over again. She cries out and pushes back against me, the force of our connection so much harder. Although I love this view, it’s her face I want to see when she comes so I pull out.

  “Roll over, cariño.” She does and her hooded eyes meet mine. I hook my arm under one knee and open her wide so I can watch as I push inside. She’s so slick, so tight, so fucking perfect that I can’t stop watching as her body accepts mine. I speed up, coming closer with every thrust. “Javier,” she breathes and lifts her hips to meet me stroke for stroke. I look up to watch her face because I know she’s close and I know this is the best part—the brief moment when I take her to a place of perfect bliss, when I know she’ll see nothing but me and we’ll both know I gave that to her.

  Val’s eyes start to roll back in her head as her pussy flutters and clenches me tight. “Look at me, cariño.” Her eyes slide back to mine and I can tell she’s fighting not to close them as I thrust harder and faster, hoping to climax at the same time. A few more strokes and she goes off, crying out my name, and I work hard to join her, finally letting go and sinking my teeth into her shoulder. She doesn’t even flinch, she just wraps her legs and arms tighter around me and practically purrs against my skin.

  When we’re done and I’ve disposed of the condom, she lies on her belly, cheek to her crossed arms, watching me. I tug the sheet up her back, hating that I have to cover her, but not wanting her to be cold.

  “Thanks, honey,” she says softly. I push the hair falling along her face behind her ear and kiss her cheek. When I pull back her eyes have gone from lazy to concerned. “What made you show up here? You’ve done everything you could to avoid me. Is it because Victor kissed me?”

  “Don’t mention that shit. It pissed me off, but it’s not what brought me here. I realized that the only time I feel alive, have felt passionate about anything since February, is when I’m with you. It’s the only time I want to live. I’ve been walking around half-dead for so long. When I went into remission the first time I partied a lot and spent my nights in a lot of beds, but none of that made me feel alive like I did when you came along. It just took me forever to recognize it and even longer to be selfish enough to go for it. It’s still something I’m going to battle, the worry that the cancer will come back. I don’t want you to live in fear like I do, but I don’
t want to live without you anymore. I love you, Val, and I’m sorry I put you through so much before I figured it out.”

  I kiss her because I don’t want to hear her say it in return. I’ve known how she felt probably longer than she did. Tonight should be about her.

  The next morning, I slip out to buy coffee and donuts and come back as she’s waking up. Half an hour later, as we’re finishing breakfast, the front door opens and Thea enters with Ron right behind her. What the hell is he doing just walking in here?

  “Hey, Javier!” Thea calls to me with a big smile on her face.

  “Hey kid!” I raise my hand for a high five as she passes me to approach her mom. She smacks it and says, “I knew you’d figure it out.” The smile she’s wearing is smug.

  “Yeah, kid, I figured it out.” I chuckle until I get a look at Ron, still standing in the doorway to the kitchen, glaring at me.

  “Val, can I talk to you out front please?” he asks through clenched teeth.

  “Yeah,” she says, rolling her eyes before she follows him out the door.

  A few minutes later she comes back in and stomps back to her room. What did that asshole say to her? Thea looks to me with her eyebrows raised so I return the expression and say, “I’ll go find out if she’s okay.”

  “Probably a good idea,” she mumbles and goes back to shoving another bite of donut into her mouth.

  I push back from the table and go to Valerie’s room. Her head is down, arms braced on the dresser like she’s holding herself up. I can’t see her face because her hair is hanging down, covering it.

  “Val, you okay?” I ask as I approach.

  “Yeah, he’s just such a dick. How did I not see this for so many years?”

  “You were distracted with deployments and readjustments when you returned. You never had time to just settle into life with him to know he was like this. Give yourself a break. He’s a born manipulator, those are hard to figure out. What did he say?”

  “He just gave me a ration of shit for having you here with Thea here and lectured me about how that was setting a bad example for our daughter.”

  My eyebrows hit my hairline. Is he serious? “And you said?”

  “What do you think? I told him that when he started an affair with his high school sweetheart, moved our family across the country and left me for that woman…all in front of our daughter, he lost the right to make any judgement calls about my romantic life.”

  “I’m guessing that went over well.”

  “You’d be guessing right. Let’s just say that he’s driving away with a handprint on his face.”

  I grip her waist and pull her in to me. “Sounds like he deserved it. Should I go have a word with him?”

  “No, I can handle it for now. I think he’s just jealous that his life is falling apart and mine is finally starting over.”

  “I’m going to have to agree.”

  My lips touch hers briefly. “You and Thea want to come with me to the veterans shelter today? I need to take care of a few things for Marv. I’ve been blowing him off and I think it’s time I resumed a few of my duties.”

  “Does this mean you’re coming back to life?” She stares at me, a half smile tipping her lips, waiting for my answer, and I can tell by the tension in her body she wants the answer to be yes.

  “No,” I tell her and her half smile lowers to a frown.

  “It means, I found passion again last night. In the bed of a gorgeous woman with an even prettier heart. It means I found love and a reason to wake up every morning. I’m not coming back to life. I’m already there.”

  Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes and I smile a little. I’ve tried for so long not to feel anything, that the sudden burst of emotion within is like fireworks, impossible to contain.

  “Javier, I’ve missed you,” she whispers as she reaches up and tenderly runs her fingers through the little bit of hair I’ve grown back.

  “We’ve never been together like this.”

  “Doesn’t matter. You were my friend, one of the best, and it hurt my heart to lose you. Not to mention I’ve been carrying a pretty big flame for you since the first time we danced.”

  The old worry that I’ve carried for years now nudges at me. “It could come back. In fact, it probably will. That’s not fair to you and probably not to Thea either.”

  “A bus could jump a curb and hit me tomorrow and that wouldn’t be fair either, but it doesn’t stop me from loving you now, and if your cancer comes back it won’t make me regret it either.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Valerie

  It’s Saturday and we’re meeting Javier at his parents’ house for family dinner. I’m excited because it’s the first time Thea will get to experience his family in full force and I know she’s going to love it. Javier is meeting us there because he’s coming from a surveillance job that he’s been at all day.

  “Mom, do you think I’m going to have fun?” Thea asks as she picks at her fingernails nervously.

  “Of course. They have the best food, a live band and Javie’s family is really cool. I wouldn’t drag you there if I didn’t think you’d have fun.”

  “A live band?”

  “During the warmer months they set up a band in the backyard and play so everyone can dance.”

  She sits back like she’s contemplating this and we ride quietly the rest of the way.

  When we walk through the door to the kitchen, Javier’s mom runs straight for me, her little round body bumping into the other ladies in the room as she pushes through. I lean down this time so she can grab my face as she likes to do and kiss my cheeks. “My Valerie is back!” she declares to everyone in the kitchen as if they didn’t see me. “I knew you were the one! Sometimes that boy is so stubborn, it took him forever to figure it out.” She stops talking but continues to hold my face in her hands as her eyes tear up. “Don’t give up on him; sometimes he’s hard-headed but he’s a good man and I know he loves you.”

  I squirm a little because this is kind of an uncomfortable conversation to have in front of everyone. Thea must move and draw attention to herself because Mrs. Suarez removes her hands from my face and her face lights up further. Before I can stand up straight again, she practically shouts, “Me trajiste una nieta!” You brought me a granddaughter! Then she grabs Thea’s cheeks like she does mine. Every woman in the room turns and smiles while she proceeds to kiss her cheeks excitedly. I want to laugh because I know Thea is wondering what in the world she showed up for. I didn’t warn her about Javie’s mom’s exuberance. “Mrs. Suarez, this is my daughter, Thea.”

  Mrs. Suarez turns to glare at me. “No, I’m not Mrs. Suarez! It’s Mamá from now on! And for you, beautiful girl, call me Abuela!” Then she pulls her in for a tight hug. Although I love it, I’m not sure Javier will feel the same. Seems a little rushed to me, I don’t want him to think I’m pushing things. When I look at Thea I’m certain I’ll find her wide-eyed and freaked out, but she’s smiling at me and I’m able to relax a little.

  “Come, Papá will be so pleased you’re here and he needs to meet the newest nieta!” Granddaughter. Before I can respond she pulls Thea by the arm through the house to find her husband. He’s outside standing with Victor, Mateo and one of the uncles whose name I can’t remember.

  “Conoce a tu nueva nieta, Juan!” Meet your newest granddaughter, Juan!

  He doesn’t even look fazed that a preteen girl is standing in front of him as his newest granddaughter. “Nieta!” he says as if she’s been missing their whole lives. He pulls Thea in under one arm and me under the other and whispers to me, “Glad you’re back.” I glance up at him and smile. This is probably the most welcoming environment I’ve ever been in. Oddly, Thea still doesn’t look spooked and instead she’s grinning.

  When Mr. Suarez lets go of us, Thea hugs Victor. “Hey kid. How’ve you been?” he asks her.

  “Good. How about you?”

  He smiles down at her. “I’m good too.”

  Thea
is introduced to everyone else while we wait for Javier so I stand and talk to Victor and Mateo. “I see Javier finally got his head out of his ass?” Mateo half-comments, half-questions.

  “Yeah, he did. It’s all good.”

  “If he tries to run again, let me know and I’ll tie his stupid ass down.” Mateo’s comment makes me laugh long and hard.

  It’s that moment that Javier chooses to join us. He steps in between me and Victor, flashing us both an irritated look. Victor turns to him with his hand out to shake. “Glad you finally figured your shit out,” Victor says to him and I can see Javie’s shoulders relax a little.

  “Sometimes I can be a little slow.”

  Thea chooses to join us then and chimes in sarcastically. “You can say that again.”

  Javier pulls her in to him and gives her a playful noogie on the top of her head. “You’re gonna mess up my hair!” she squeals. His hearty laugh fills the space and I can’t help but join them.

  Mateo says, “Victor was just telling me that he has a blind date tomorrow night.”

  “Really?” I ask, happy that he’s putting himself out there again.

  “Yes, Dex and Marina set me up. She doesn’t live here but she’s thinking about moving back so I figured it was a safe way to test the waters.”

  “It’ll be good, just be yourself. Does she dance?” I ask.

  “I don’t know, but I hope so. Speaking of which, I’m guessing you won’t be at the dance group anymore.” I bite my lip because I haven’t thought about it but that would be a touchy subject with Javier for sure.

  “You enjoy it, cariño?” Javier asks.

  “Of course. You know I love to dance.”

  He looks to Victor. “She’ll be there, but she’ll have a date.” He lifts his eyebrow, waiting to see if Victor is going to say something about it.

  “I got it, I got it. Just glad she isn’t giving it up.”