Virgin Bride: A Single Dad Romance

by B. B. Hamel

  She bites her lip. “I can’t tell you where I live because I’m not who you think I am.”

  I hesitate a second. ‘Your name is Erin, right?” I ask.

  “Right,” she says. “Everything I’ve told you about myself is true, but… well, I left something out.”

  “Just say it.” I can’t stand waiting any longer.

  “I’m Rick Fisher’s daughter.”

  Her gaze meets my eyes and I suddenly feel sick. “Are you kidding?” I ask her.

  “No. I’m so, so sorry, Griffin.”

  “What’s going on right now?” I ask her. “You’re Rick Fisher’s daughter? The man I’m in business with?” My head is reeling and I don’t think I really understand.

  “He set it all up. He wanted me to get close to you. He wanted me to find things out about you, things he could use against you.”

  I stare at her, trying to find the words. “And did you?” I ask.

  “No,” she says forcefully. “I protected you. He wanted to bug your apartment, but I wouldn’t let him.”

  “Bug my apartment,” I say distantly.

  “Please, Griffin.” She reaches across the table. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”

  I pull away from her hand, horrified.

  “You were spying on me,” I say. “You were spying on me and my family.”

  “Yes,” she admits. “At first, but as soon as I got to know you and Lacey, I couldn’t do it. I never told my father anything.”

  “This is insane.” I lean away from her as the full weight of this betrayal becomes clear. “I let you in my house. I let you play with my daughter.”

  “I know.” Tears spring to her eyes. “If I knew how I’d start to feel about you, I would never have agreed. I only did it because my father’s never respected me before, and—“

  I cut her off. “Stop,” I say. “I don’t want to hear it.” I steel myself for this next part. “I can forgive you for fucking with me, but not for fucking with my daughter. Get the fuck out of my life and never come back.” I push my chair back and stand.

  “Griffin, please,” she says. “Let me explain. It was a mistake, but I’m starting to feel things. I was protecting you.”

  “Stop protecting me. Stop feeling things.” I shake my head. “I have to go.”

  I walk out of that restaurant, and I feel like some part of me gets torn off and left behind.

  I can’t believe this. She was a plant from the very start. She was sent by Rick Fisher, that fucking psycho douchebag, to spy on me. And she did a good fucking job, didn’t she? Got close to me, made my daughter fucking like her.

  Oh shit, poor Lacey. She’s going to wonder why Erin isn’t around anymore. I’m going to have to tell her that she’ll never see her again. Or at least explain that she won’t for a while. I don’t know what the fuck I’ll say, actually.

  Fuck. I get out to my car, slam the door, and pound the steering wheel. Rick Fisher is a fucking dead man. That piece of shit bastard. Erin was clearly upset in there, and I believe her when she says that she tried to protect us. I don’t think she’s good enough of a liar to have faked everything we did together. I believe that she was a virgin and that she wanted to be with me and Lacey.

  But that’s all fucking gone now. I can never trust her. Rick Fisher corrupted this. I wish she had never told me, and we could have gone on the way we were before.

  But that’s not true. I’m glad she told me. That took guts, at least. Everything else was cowardice. It’s over now, and I can start to move on. Maybe she can too.

  I feel broken, wrecked. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. Hours earlier, I was thinking about my future with Erin. Now, my future looks empty and alone, and my past is a fucking lie.

  I turn on the engine and drive slowly home, reeling from the news, still not totally able to comprehend it all.

  18

  Erin

  It doesn’t really sink in that first week.

  I make up some excuse to my father, unable to tell him that I was fired from the Griffin job. I don’t know why I care, but I’m afraid to face him.

  Much worse than that, Griffin won’t answer my calls. He won’t talk to me at all. It’s like he’s totally done with me, and I can’t really blame him. Still, I want him to understand that everything we had was real, that I never really betrayed him. I need him to understand that I care about him and Lacey and I’d never do anything to hurt them.

  He won’t talk to me, and I can’t say I’m surprised. I don’t know what I thought would happen when I told him. I guess part of me hoped that he might listen, and he be angry of course, but eventually he’d get over it and we could move on from there.

  But that’s not at all what’s going to happen. It really sinks in a week later, after I haven’t heard a word from him.

  I gave him my virginity. I gave myself to him, and now he’s gone. I’m not mad at him for that. It was my choice to let him take my virginity, knowing full well that I was lying to him about an important thing. It still hurts, though, and I feel like there’s a hole in my life where there wasn’t one before.

  I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. My father is going to throw me out of the family and I don’t even have Griffin anymore. I really hoped that I might start something with him. I don’t know what that something was going to be, but I was really excited to try.

  I don’t know why I thought that, though. I’m such a stupid, selfish little girl. I don’t know why I ever thought he could overlook this whole thing and still want me. Of course he’s angry and doesn’t want me around, from his perspective I was using him and Lacey to get something for my family. He feels like I betrayed him, and I guess I did.

  Exactly one week after I told Griffin the truth, I stand outside of my father’s study, a nervous wreck. I was dreading telling Griffin, so much so that I almost threw up. I knew I was doing the right thing by coming clean. I could have kept the secret for longer, maybe gotten closer to him in the hopes that he’d forgive me more easily, but I couldn’t do it. Not after that day with him and Lacey, not after how real it all felt. I couldn’t keep lying to him. I hate being a bad person, but I was being a really bad person.

  I knock on my father’s door. “Yes, come in,” he calls out.

  I open the door and step inside, shutting it behind me. He looks up at me, a frown on his face.

  “What can I do for you, Erin?” he asks.

  “I need to tell you something.” I feel so fucking awful. I want to run out of here, but it’s time to face up to the consequences of my actions. It’s time to grow the fuck up.

  “Yes?” he asks, impatient.

  “I got fired from my job with Griffin McGrath.”

  He stares at me for a second. “What?”

  “I got fired,” I repeat. “I’m sorry.”

  “You got fired.” He stares at me blankly for a second. “How?”

  “He caught me snooping,” I say. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake.”

  “A mistake.” He shakes his head. “The real mistake was letting you do this job from the beginning. I could have found someone better qualified, but I thought I might give you a chance to prove yourself. I guess you just did.”

  I take a sharp breath and release it. “I guess so.”

  “You’re such a disappointment, Erin,” he says. “A bigger disappointment than I could ever have guessed.” He shakes his head with disgust. “Needless to say, you will not be getting any jobs from me anytime in the future.”

  “As if I’d want one,” I spit at him. “You’d just find some new way to use and embarrass me. I’m your daughter, or did you forget that?”

  “Don’t talk to me that way,” he says, low and serious.

  “You treat me like garbage, and you expect me to keep obeying. That won’t last forever.”

  He stands up. “Get the fuck out,” he says, barely suppressing his rage. “You spoiled little bitch.”


  “Fine.” I turn away from him.

  “You’re pathetic. A real pathetic fucking bitch. You’re such a sad disappointment.”

  “Go to hell,” I say, just loud enough for him to hear, before storming out of there and heading to my room.

  I cry, but I don’t let myself cry too much. I won’t indulge in that. I won’t let him win.

  I see my father and my family for what they are. I know they’re bad, but I don’t think I truly understand the half of it. I’ve been sheltered my whole life and led to believe that the Fisher family is powerful and rich.

  But I’m not so sure that’s true. In fact, I’m starting to think my father is a shell of the man that he claims to be.

  Over the next few days, I set out to prove it to myself. I’m done being intimidated by my father. I’m done being embarrassed and used and abused. It’s time for me to grow the fuck up.

  19

  Griffin

  The pain and the anger doesn’t go away for a few days.

  I let her into my home. I let her play with my daughter. I opened up to her, fucked her, took her virginity. We were growing so close and things felt so goddamn good with her, and suddenly it’s all fucking gone.

  Totally destroyed. I’m devastated when I get home from that dinner, but I manage to pick myself up the next day and start looking for a new nanny. The woman I find is in her fifties, nice enough, but Lacey doesn’t take to her like she did to Erin.

  I have to just keep going forward. The fucking Fisher deal seems so disgusting now, and I don’t even know if I want to go forward with it. I keep finding myself reading about the deal, and then thinking about Erin, and only after a few minutes do I realize that I’ve been daydreaming about taking her back.

  I don’t know what the fuck to do. I can’t get her out of my head, but I feel like she’s betrayed me so completely and utterly.

  Still, she did say something odd. She said that she was protecting me and Lacey. I don’t know how that could be the case, since she was spying, but she said something about her father wanting to bug my apartment.

  I can’t believe this crazy shit. I knew her father was a notorious asshole and a bastard, but I had no clue he was actually insane and willing to stoop so fucking low.

  I try to research Erin, but there’s not much out there. Everything I read basically confirms her story. I didn’t recognize her from the start because every picture I’ve seen is from before she went overseas, when she was much younger. She’s blossomed a lot since then, really grown beautiful, but that’s not the point. I was fucking tricked and fooled and I let my guard down.

  But something keeps nagging at me. I can’t say exactly what it is, but it’s something important. I know I should be seeing it, but as the days pass, I can’t stop thinking about Erin. Slowly the hate and the betrayal fades, replaced only with a surprising ache for her. I don’t really understand it. I should hate her, want her gone from my life forever, and yet I find myself thinking about her fondly before I remember what she did.

  Lacey asks about Erin every day. That breaks my heart more than anything. I don’t know what to do. The new nanny is fine, she’s capable and came highly recommended by a nanny service, but then again, Erin came highly recommended as well.

  It’s right there… I can almost see it. But whenever I get close to the thing I should remember, I just see Erin and her body, feel the way she kissed me, the way she made me smile and laugh. I hate myself for missing her, but a week passes, and the need for her doesn’t go away.

  It just gets stronger. I fucking want her badly, but I don’t know what to do about it.

  Sunday comes around and I find myself playing with Lacey, trying not to think about Erin. I try so hard not to think about her, which only makes me think about her even more, of course. It’s a catch-22 situation, damned if I do and even more damned if I don’t. I wish I could turn off these fucking feelings, but they’re there, lodged deep inside of me.

  This is why I don’t get close to anyone. This exact fucking reason. If I don’t get close, I can never get hurt. I never felt this way about a woman before Erin, and maybe I never will again. Maybe if I never let myself fall again, I’ll never have to hit the fucking concrete like an asshole.

  That’s when it clicks. That thing I should be thinking about, the thing I should realize. It hits me like a fucking ton of bricks and I have to get up and walk away from Lacey for a second.

  Without thinking, I call Erin. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m practically reeling. She answers on the third ring.

  “Griffin?” she asks.

  “It’s me,” I grunt. “Can we meet?”

  She pauses. “I thought you hated me.”

  “I still might. Can we meet?”

  “When and where?”

  “Soon. Now. I don’t know where. Can you come to the park near my place?”

  “Yeah, okay. I can get there in twenty.”

  “Fine.” I hang up the phone, feeling dizzy, and turn to Lacey. “Come on, Lacey girl. Want to go to the park and see Erin?”

  “Yes!” she squeals. I busy myself getting her ready, trying not to think about this horrible realization I just came to. I hope it isn’t true. I need it to be wrong. And the only person I know that can confirm it is Erin, the last person I really want to see right now.

  Actually, she’s the only person I want to see right now, which is what makes this whole thing so dangerous.

  I head over to the park. When we get there, I walk with Lacey over to the playground area and I help her play, keeping a close eye on her. Ten minutes later, I spot Erin walking quickly over toward me.

  I have to suppress a smile. Something in my chest blooms and I want to grab her by the waist and kiss her. I should hate her so much, but my first reaction isn’t hate.

  It’s pure desire. And maybe that’s worse.

  She comes up to me, a little unsure of herself. “Hey, Griffin,” she says.

  “Hey.”

  “Erin!” Lacey runs over to her, and Erin smiles big.

  “Hey there, little girl.” Erin scoops her up in a big hug. “How’s it going?”

  “Play!” she says.

  “Yeah, we’ll play, of course.” She looks at me and I shake my head once.

  “We need to talk,” I say.

  She nods and looks back at Lacey. “Can you go over to those big blocks and show me how good at counting you are?”

  Lacey nods vigorously and Erin puts her down. Lacey walks a few feet away to these large yellow blocks with numbers painted on them that she can spin around in circles. She mostly just hits them and spins them, but it distracts her enough for now.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Erin asks.

  “It’s about… your job,” I say.

  “I’m sorry about that,” she says quickly. “Seriously, Griffin, I hate myself for doing that, and I really was keeping my father away from you. I hate him for this, you know, and I’m trying to get away—“

  “Stop,” I say quickly, interrupting her. “I can’t hear that right now. I just need to know something.”

  She stops and nods, taking a deep breath. “Anything,” she says.

  “My friend, James.”

  Her face falls. “Oh god,” she says.

  “Was he involved?”

  She hesitates then nods once. “I’m so sorry, Griffin,” she says. “I didn’t want you to find out this way. I don’t know how or why, but my father got him to introduce me to you.”

  That hurts even more than her betrayal. At least she didn’t know me when she agreed to get involved with this insane plan. But the fact that James betrayed me is even fucking worse.

  I feel like my whole fucking world is a lie. James has been my closest friend for years, but clearly I was wrong about that. If he can do something like this to me, I don’t think we ever had a real friendship. I can’t imagine what Fisher offered him in exchange for betraying me.

  More money, maybe, but he’s
already rich. I can’t even guess at his motives, and I don’t want to.

  At least I know now. That’s what I realized and should have seen from the start, that’s what was nagging at me. My friendship with James blinded me to the fact that Erin only came into my life through him.

  “So you never worked for him?” I ask her.

  “Never,” she says. “He was in on it. My father was bragging about it when we first put this together.”

  “That fucking bastard.” I clench my fists.

  “I don’t know why he did it,” she says quickly.

  “I’m going to kill him.” I turn my back on her, raging on the insane. “I’m going to fire that fucking snake.”

  “Wait,” she says. “Hold on.” She steps up next to me. “Isn’t he more useful if you keep him around?”

  I glance at her. “What are you talking about?”

  “Look, I don’t want to tell you what to do. I’m sure you hate me and you have every right to. But now you know that he’s a cheat and a liar. You can feed him bad information or even figure out what my father’s going to do through him.”

  I listen to what she’s saying, and although the only thing I want to do right now is to drive over to James’s place and punch him in the smug fucking mouth, I know she’s right. He’s more useful if I keep him around, but the thought makes me ill.

  Still, that’s the world I’m a part of now. Apparently friendship means nothing. I want to destroy James, not just fire him, and keeping him close will help me come up with the perfect way to get that done.

  I watch her for a second before taking a deep breath.

  “How did you protect me?” I ask her.

  She looks a little surprised. “I told my father that you were having your bathroom remodeled.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

  “Well, so that he couldn’t come into your apartment with a team of guys to bug the place. I wanted him to think that I was still on his side, even if I wasn’t.”

  “Smart,” I say. “How else?”

  “I kept things from him,” she continues. “Things I shouldn’t have seen because I shouldn’t have snooped. Like those letters in your closet from… that woman.”