Regret (Lady of Toryn Trilogy)

by Charity Santiago

  The sun was bright when she ascended the stairs, emerging from the small library located beneath the sacred gong. She’d never had much reason to go into the library before, but then she’d never been Lady of Toryn before, either, and now she was glad that the library was of some use to her research.

  As she headed towards her father’s house, she saw Skye, deep in conversation with a group of Toryn soldiers. She hadn’t really spoken to him since the day they’d attacked Kou’s army and rescued her dad- there hadn’t been time. But she nodded to him now, thinking that it might be smart to touch base with him over what their plans were.

  Skye nodded back, and said a few words to the soldiers, who nodded and began to talk amongst themselves.

  “Where are you headed?” Skye asked as he drew closer.

  “My dad’s house, to see Restlyn. Care to walk with me?”

  He offered her his arm jokingly, and she grinned and smacked him. “None of that, mister!”

  He chuckled, falling into step beside her. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

  “Oh yeah.” She rubbed the sore muscles in her neck. “One of these days I’m actually going to make it to a bed instead of just conking out wherever I sit down.”

  “I don’t think anybody’s been getting regular sleep since this whole thing started,” Skye replied. “But it’s almost over.”

  “I guess.” Ashlyn grimaced and scuffed the cobblestones with the toe of her sneaker. “I wish Tag and Kou hadn’t escaped. With another one of my shuriken, no less. Jerks.”

  “We’ll find them,” Skye said. “And the rest of them, too. Only a handful of Kou’s ninjas got away. Far too few to cause any real damage. And now that they don’t have your father to drain, they won’t be able to use shift for much longer.”

  “Ugh. Don’t say ‘drain.’ Just the thought of it makes me sick. I think I could happily murder Kou and not feel an ounce of remorse,” she said grumpily. “That man is pure evil.”

  “I’m not arguing.” Skye fell silent for a moment before continuing, “How are you doing?”

  “What do you mean? How am I feeling? How am I holding up? I’m a little sore, to tell you the truth. I haven’t done this much ass-kicking since the last time I took up with FLD. Gods, there were a lot fewer aches and pains back then. I feel so old.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  Ashlyn giggled.

  “I actually meant- how are you feeling about being Lady of Toryn?” Skye said, glancing over at her. His tone was quizzical. “I know you weren’t real keen on it before.”

  “Mmm.” She wasn’t real keen on it now either, but at least she wasn’t terrified at the thought of taking on a leadership role anymore. “Well, I’m not Lady of Toryn yet. There’s still that whole coronation ceremony, and all. But I know what you meant, and yeah, I guess I’m doing okay. Having you around makes it a lot easier.” She glanced up at him, feeling a rush of gratitude towards the swordsman. It wasn’t often that you found friends like Skye.

  He hooked one arm around her neck and ruffled her hair. “Anytime, kid. Oh- and I’m sorry about your haircut.”

  “I almost forgot!” she shrieked, shoving him away. “You jerk! What the heck was that about? Cutting my hair? You didn’t even get it straight!”

  “Forgive me for saving your skinny butt from a vampire! Next time I’ll call the barber first.”

  “You better!” They were in front of her dad’s house now, and Ashlyn turned to Skye, trying not to smile but of course failing hopelessly. “I’ll see you around, Damien,” she said, walking up the front steps. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

  “Hang on a second.”

  She glanced back at him. “Yes, oh wise leader?”

  “You’re the leader now,” he said seriously, and grinned when she rolled her eyes. “No, really. I know you’re scared about the whole Lady of Toryn thing, but you’ll be fine. Just trust me. This is your chance to be a leader, Ash. It’s your turn to be a hero and do the right thing. Don’t let it pass by. Don’t live your life with regret.”

  The self-loathing that tinged his voice was evident. Ashlyn looked away. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I’ll remember that. Thanks, Skye.”

  “Anytime.”

  She stood at the door for a long time, listening to Skye’s boots crunch on the gravel as he walked away and wondering if he was ever going to take his own advice and let go of Jenn’s death.

  “Restlyn?” she said, knocking gently on the doorframe. Ordinarily she would have barged right in like she owned the place, but considering Restlyn had been acting as interim Lady of Toryn for a few days now, Ashlyn figured the least she could do was be polite.

  “Come on in,” Restlyn yelled, and Ashlyn rolled her eyes. So much for formalities.

  She pulled the door open, smiling as she noted once again that it was one of the only eastern-style doors in Toryn, on swinging hinges instead of the traditional sliding tracks. Her father was so progressive, in his own subtle way.

  “I’m in the study,” Restlyn called.

  Ashlyn detoured around the koi pond and down the hall to her father’s study, smiling as she stepped into the room and found Restlyn nearly hidden behind several large piles of scrolls and stacks of books.

  “This looks just like it did when I was little,” Ashlyn said, running her fingers fondly over the leather binding of the nearest tome. “Back when Dad used to read all the time. It was hard to get him out in the sunlight. He was so consumed by traditions and etiquette and…and then…”

  She trailed off, biting her lip. And then the war had happened, and Restlyn had come to live with them, and her mother had died. Her father had stopped reading after that.

  “It’s been interesting to see how many of the smaller details your dad has kept in place,” Restlyn said, glancing up. Her chocolate hair was falling in her eyes, and she pushed it back with one hand, grinning, looking fresh-faced, pretty, and happier than Ashlyn had seen her in a long time.

  “Did you notice that there is a cherry blossom tree situated northeast of every house in town?” the older girl continued, pointing at a map spread on the floor beside her. “It’s ancient Toryn tradition, as a way to honor Drago. I never even noticed.”

  “Me neither.” Ashlyn crossed her ankles, dropping gracelessly to the floor in front of Restlyn. “But honestly, Dad had no issues with the lesser lords turning Toryn into a tourist trap and sacrificing whatever dignity our culture might have had, so I can’t see why he would care about any of the smaller details.”

  “To each his own, I guess,” Restlyn said, shrugging. “I wouldn’t have done it myself, but maybe your father thought it was the only way.”

  “Maybe.” Ashlyn propped her elbow on her knee and leaned her chin on her hand, craning her neck to try to see what was in the book Restlyn had in her lap. “Everybody says you’ve been doing a great job running the city by yourself.”

  “Me? No. It’s been running itself. I’ve just been supervising,” Restlyn replied, but she was smiling. “You know my mom did this too- in Cosmea, before she died. She enjoyed working alongside the people rather than just giving them orders, and they loved her for it. I’ve been thinking about her every day that I’ve been here. She set such a great example on how to be one of the people, not just above the people. I can’t imagine just sitting on your throne, telling people what to do. It would drive me crazy!”

  “I can’t even imagine being in charge,” Ashlyn said ruefully, scratching her elbow. She paused, remembering how she’d given orders to the rest of FLD that day in Heaven, just before Kou’s army had attacked. “Well, not permanently, anyway. It’s a little different when it’s spur of the moment.”

  Restlyn leaned forward and patted Ashlyn’s shoulder, a silly gesture that made them both smile. “Don’t worry, Ash. This job is pretty cushy. You’re going to be a great Lady of Toryn. And just think- you get to wear the ceremonial kimono and everything on the day of your coronation.”

  They both groaned i
n unison, looking over at the ceremonial kimono on display in a glass case in the corner. Not only was the thing huge- much larger than whatever size Ashlyn actually wore- but it was bright red, decorated with garish orange flowers and green birds. It was supposedly a huge honor to wear it during the coronation ceremony, but Ashlyn was kind of hoping the people of Toryn would be lenient enough to forget the ceremonial kimono and just let her wear her shorts.

  “So,” Restlyn spoke up, breaking into Ashlyn’s thoughts, “tell me what’s going on with you.” She arched one perfect eyebrow. “There’s something between you and Drake. I know it.”

  Ashlyn couldn’t stop the blush that rose up her neck, setting her cheeks on fire. “That obvious, huh,” she said weakly, and put a hand to her face, trying to cool it.

  Restlyn gasped, bouncing in place as she clapped her hands delightedly. “Tell me what happened!” she exclaimed. “You look so guilty!”

  The events of the last several weeks flitted through Ashlyn’s mind, including that day in her father’s home, when Drake had comforted her while she was grieving for Soryl. Where should she start? When should she start? This felt like something that had been bubbling inside her for weeks, months, years- she didn’t even know where to begin.

  Suddenly Restlyn was leaning forward, arms going round Ashlyn as she pulled the younger ninja into a hug. “I’m so happy for you,” she said simply, sniffling into Ashlyn’s shoulder. It was surprising. There was no condemnation in Restlyn’s tone, no judgment or reprimand. She was offering congratulations, with no strings attached.

  It certainly wasn’t what Ashlyn had expected from the first person to find out about her relationship with Drake.

  Despite her own excitement and happiness, Ashlyn felt her heart break a little for the other girl. How long had Restlyn been desperately in love with Skye? It had been obvious in the first few days they’d traveled together, more than three years ago. How long would it last? Would Skye ever return the feelings?

  She hugged Restlyn back fiercely, wishing with all her might that her best friend would someday find happiness, with or without Skye.

  After a long embrace, Restlyn drew back, and her face was wet with tears. “Goodness, I’m sorry,” she said, dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her sleeve in an uncharacteristic move. “I’ve been so over-emotional lately. I think it’s just being back in Toryn. I really never thought I’d see the island again, so being here is...unexpected.” She suddenly looked a little wistful. “It’s a shame that everyone we knew as kids has moved on. I don’t think any of my friends stayed in Toryn.”

  “Nobody wants to stick around in a dying city,” Ashlyn said slowly, remembering Endro’s abandoned streets. She had no desire to be Lady of Toryn, but she couldn’t stand by and let the city of her ancestors crumble to the ground. She sighed and rubbed a hand across her eyes. “We’re leaving soon to go visit my father in North Camp. I wanted to stop by and make sure you were handling everything okay- but it looks like you’ve got it all under control.”

  “Just until you’re ready to take over,” the half-Toryn girl said, offering an easy smile. “Have a safe trip. I’m so glad that your father is going to be okay.”

  Ashlyn stood and turned to leave, then hesitated. “You know, Restlyn, I’m going to talk to him about you being Scorned,” she said, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “Obviously it doesn’t stand now, but we both know what he did was wrong and hurtful. He needs to apologize.”

  “I know, and I’d like that,” Restlyn answered, and Ashlyn glanced over her shoulder, surprised at the reply. Restlyn grinned ruefully. “I’m not saying I’ll move back to Toryn. But I’d like to know that I could if I wanted to, and not have to suffer any of the elders condemning me. I always felt like this was my home- not Cosmea, and definitely not Storim.”

  Ashlyn smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Chapter 8

  Monsters and Royals

  Ashlyn made her way towards the healing lodge, carrying her book with her and wondering for the first time if perhaps Restlyn was a better option to select as her successor than Skye. Was there any way that a half-Toryn could become Lady? Restlyn had been brought to Toryn and adopted into the Li family following her mother’s death in Cosmea, so that did give Restlyn some status within the Toryn community.

  Ashlyn took off her shoes before entering the lodge. Although she had noticed that most of the old traditions were overlooked in Toryn now, it didn’t feel right to enter a place of magic wearing grubby old sneakers.

  “Come in,” Vargo snapped when she knocked on the doorframe. When she slid the door open and stepped inside, he had his pillow over his face, his face hidden but his bandaged wrists and arms showing. There was a book on the sheet next to him.

  “I didn’t know you could read,” Ashlyn said teasingly, and he nudged the pillow out of the way, immediately brightening when he saw her.

  “It’s this new thing I’m trying.” He tried to sit up, but fell back, grimacing with the effort. “Apparently…girls dig…ugh…learned men.”

  “Depends on the girl, I guess.” Ashlyn eased herself down into a sitting position beside his mat, put the book on the floor and reached over to help him, propping the pillow behind him to keep him upright. The bandages swathed his arms from wrist to elbow. He was shirtless, with his abdomen wrapped in gauze. Ashlyn found herself noting the solidness of his heavily muscled upper arms and well-defined, scarred chest before she averted her eyes, blushing, and tried to sound light-hearted. “You look pretty awesome right now. No joke. I’d never guess you almost died last night.”

  “Almost died? Yeah, right. I’d never kick it without a sweeping exit.”

  He was parroting the same words back to her that she had said that night in Storim, when she first found out about Devlyn and his war on FLD. The humor was lost on Ashlyn, though, as she was hit rather suddenly with the realization that her entire world had completely changed in the few short weeks since she had walked into Restlyn Place.

  That night she had still regarded the Spartans as enemies, but today she was sitting next to a Spartan who had wormed his way into her heart and- more importantly- saved her life. That night she had called Drake a two-faced liar, but now they were- they were something. Courting? In a relationship? It was difficult to label, whatever it was.

  “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said, turning her attention back to Vargo. “And I mean ‘okay’ as in not dead after saving my butt yesterday.”

  His eyes were fixed on hers, and he somehow managed to look nonchalant by quirking one corner of his mouth briefly. “It’s not often I get the chance to play hero in front of you, Ash. Even less often that I get to show you how I feel without you knocking me out or running.”

  “I don’t run,” she protested.

  “I seem to remember two specific occasions where you fled after I kissed you, princess,” he said.

  “Those were…special situations.” She cringed at the silliness of her own wording.

  Vargo grinned. “They were pretty special.”

  She shifted uncomfortably, and stared down at her hands. There really wasn’t any way out of this. “Vargo, I’m…” Totally at a loss for words. How do I explain this to you?

  “Speechless? Head over heels for me? Completely turned on by my heroics?”

  He was so adorably annoying that she had to smile. “You’re not in any condition to be flirting.”

  “Babe, I’m in condition for more than flirting,” he said, and his gaze was so direct that Ashlyn started blushing again.

  “I’m…not going to deny that there’s something between us, Vargo,” she said. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you, or that I don’t care about you, or that I’m not…incredibly grateful for what you did yesterday.” She paused.

  His eyes had shifted as she spoke, his expression more guarded. “Go on,” he prompted flatly.

  “I...love Drake,” she said.

  Vargo was silent for a
moment, clearly unsurprised.

  “Does he love you?” he asked at last.

  Another pause.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “That’s right, I don’t know,” Ashlyn said testily. “That’s not really so unusual, Vargo. I don’t know his every thought and this- this relationship is so new that it’s not like we’ve discussed all of it in detail.”

  “Did you tell him you loved him?” Vargo demanded. His hands were clenching and unclenching the bedcovers, his mouth set in a grim line.

  “Of course.”

  “If you told him you loved him, then he should have responded accordingly,” Vargo said, his voice low and growling. “When your girl tells you she loves you, you don’t leave her hanging like a bratty little kid with a crush. You tell her how you feel.”

  “Some people are more open with their feelings. Drake’s not like that.”

  “Damn straight, Drake’s not like that. He’s just like Skye, hung up on some dead girl. He’s also a vampire, Ash. Do you have any idea what that means?”

  “I know that!” Ashlyn snarled. “I’m not blind! The resist stane controls his vampirism. He’s still got a soul and he’s still capable of loving, just as much as you or me.”

  “You can train a dog to heel, but it’ll still turn on you when it’s hungry. Resist is only hiding the monster, not making it disappear!” Vargo was nearly yelling by his last word.

  “Calm down!”Ashlyn exclaimed. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. It’s none of your business!”

  “We’ve been keeping tabs on that vampire for the last three years,” Vargo said. “Every year, like clockwork. Meeting up with him to make sure that he hasn’t gone insane and started killing again. And now you’re saying you love him? Are you…” He stopped, breath hissing through his teeth as he fought to control his temper. “Someday he’s going to snap. It’s inevitable and that’s the whole damn reason the Spartans keep an eye on him. If you’re with him, who the hell do you think he’s going to kill first when that time comes? That resist stane is a pretty pathetic insurance policy!”