Loving Sarah (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Julie Shelton

  Her blood turned to ice in her veins at the very thought of Ryder Malone “getting back at her.” She couldn’t suppress a shudder. “Have you found him yet?”

  “Not yet, but when we do, we’ll haul his ass in for questioning.” He handed her a business card. “If you think of anything else, just call me.”

  * * * *

  “Holy shit!” Adam stood at the door of Sarah’s bedroom, watching the CSU team stepping gingerly around the blood-soaked carpet in their bootie-covered shoes, trying not to destroy any trace evidence that might have been left behind by the perpetrator. “No wonder she’s in shock!”

  Jesse was standing next to him, looking wrecked. “I told her to wait for me while I checked out the downstairs,” he muttered over and over again, shaking his head slowly back and forth. “I never should have left her alone. Just like I never should’ve left the house without my weapons. Christ, what was I thinkin’?” He screwed up his face. “I knew somethin’ was wrong the minute we entered the house. We could smell the blood. That’s a smell you never forget.”

  Adam grunted his agreement.

  “She thought an animal had gotten inside and died or somethin’, but I knew better. When I heard her scream, I thought—” Unable to finish, he leaned back against the wall, white-faced with anguish. “I’ll never forgive myself for lettin’ her see this.”

  “It’s not your fault, Jess, you couldn’t have known.”

  “But that’s just it, damn it, I did know!” He slammed his fist against the wall behind him. “I thought it. I felt it. Every instinct I had was screamin’ at me to get us the fuck outta here.” He looked at his best friend. “I didn’t protect her, Adam. My most sacred duty as her Dom and I let her down. What if the perp had still been here? What if she’d been killed while I was jackin’ around downstairs?”

  “What if California falls into the Pacific Ocean?” Adam countered in a self-pitying whine. “What if the earth tilts on its axis? What if the moon really is made of green cheese?”

  A mirthless laugh escaped Jesse’s throat. “Okay, okay, I get your point.”

  “C’mon, Jess, get a grip. It happened, it’s over, and she’s perfectly fine. What’s the matter with you? I’ve never seen you act like this before.”

  Leaning forward and putting his hands on his knees, Jesse took a deep breath. “I know. I know. It’s Sarah. The thought of losin’ her just…levels me. She—gimme a minute, here, okay? I’ll be all right.”

  Taking Jesse by the upper arm, Adam led him a short way down the hall so there’d be no possibility of their being overheard by the technicians processing the bedroom. “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me? Perhaps some little insignificant detail you forgot to mention?”

  Jesse turned his head and stared at him. “Like what?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Like you told Sarah you wanted to share her with me and you didn’t think to tell me?”

  “Why would I need to tell you?” Jesse asked, genuinely puzzled. “I thought it was understood. We talked about it.”

  “Yeah, years ago,” Adam protested. “And even then, only hypothetically. Only because I figured it would never happen, so it seemed safe to talk about it. Hypothetically,” he repeated for emphasis.

  “It may have been hypothetical to you, but not to me. I don’t understand your problem with this, Adam. We’ve shared women before.”

  “Yeah, but not like this!” The cords in Adam’s neck were rigid with his attempt to keep his voice no louder than a harsh whisper. “For scenes! For one-night stands. For a quick fuck-’em-and-leave-’em, not for a lifetime commitment! What the fuck are you thinking, Jess? This is Sarah! The woman you love! How could you possibly—”

  “But you love her, too.”

  Adam recoiled as if he’d been slapped. Jesus Christ on a cracker! Stunned into temporary silence, he speared his fingers through his short blond curls, staring at Jesse as if he didn’t recognize him. He opened his mouth several times, but nothing came out. When he finally did find his voice, it was rough as sandpaper. “How the hell did you—”

  “I know everythin’ you know, remember? Feel everythin’ you feel? We can’t keep secrets from each other, Adam. I’ve known for years that you were in love with her. How could you possibly think you could keep somethin’ like that a secret?”

  Adam scrubbed his hand down his face, staring fixedly at a point on the wall just over Jesse’s left shoulder. He closed his eyes briefly, sucking air into his lungs. His shoulders sagged as he released it slowly. He dropped his hand, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I’d hoped—I was afraid to say anything. I didn’t want it to be real. I didn‘t want to hurt you.”

  “I’ve always known that we would be a threesome, Adam—especially if Sarah turned out to be the born submissive I suspected she was. The fact that she is makes it even better. And the fact that she has strong feelin’s for you makes it fuckin’-A perfect.”

  Frustrated, he thrust his fingers through his hair again. “She said she had feelings for me, but…you think she really does?”

  He looked and sounded so hopeful, Jesse had to laugh. “You think she’d agree to this if she didn’t?”

  “I think she’d agree to just about anything you wanted her to,” Adam countered. “She loves you, Jess. She wants to please you. But she’s terrified that by wanting this she is somehow betraying you.”

  Jesse laughed. “She told you that?”

  “Yes, damn you, because she believes it!” He spread his hands. “I tried to explain it to her, but she is very confused about all of this. Adding me into the mix is only going to confuse her more.”

  “Then we’ll just have to un-confuse her,” Jesse said firmly. “Don’t worry, Adam. You’ve seen for yourself how responsive she is.”

  “All I’ve seen is how scared she is.” He shook his head doubtfully. “It’s an awfully big step for someone as new to this as she is.”

  “She’s a natural, Adam. She’s everythin’ I thought she’d be and more.” His pride in her was evident in his voice. “She’s every Dom’s dream.”

  “I don’t know…” He still didn’t sound convinced. “How soon would you want me to move in?”

  “First thing tomorrow mornin’. You’ll start by pullin’ bodyguard duty. Until this asshole Malone is caught, I want one or both of us to be with her at all times.”

  Adam grunted and shook his head bemusedly. “Looks like I’ll be putting the condo on the market. Not that I mind, really, it’s never felt like home. Not the way your place always has.” Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he shifted slightly, a movement aimed at easing the chokehold his jeans had around his cock. But it didn’t work. His zipper was going to leave permanent teeth marks.

  Because the only remedy for this throbbing discomfort was Sarah, gasping in pleasure as both he and Jess slid their aching cocks into her and fucked her until they were all three exploding with pleasure.

  “Yeah,” Jesse said wryly, shooting him a commiserating look. “Right there with you, pal.” His own erection was an enormous ridge. “You got someone who can handle the business for a while?”

  “Yeah.” Adam rubbed his chin, regarding Jesse thoughtfully. “I just hope you know what the hell you’re doing.”

  “Trust me.” Jesse smiled as the two men turned to head back down the stairs. “Have I ever steered you wrong?”

  “Just once,” Adam said over his shoulder. “Fortunately for me, you were the guy who got shot.”

  Dan Akers stood when Adam and Jesse reentered the parlor. After shaking hands with both men and talking briefly with Jesse, he left.

  “C’mon, sugar,” Jesse said, moving over to her and extending his hand. “Let’s get your laundry and go home. Oh, and bring your laptop. You’ll need to cancel all your credit cards.”

  As the three of them walked out the back door, into the floodlit parking area, Sarah was shocked to see streamers of yellow crime scene tape surrounding the building. Crime scene. For the
first time it was beginning to seem real.

  “Adam’s crews will be here first thing in the mornin’ to begin installin’ your new alarm system.”

  “But he doesn’t know which one I want,” she protested.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Jesse said grimly. “He knows which one I want.”

  “Don’t worry, sweet pea,” Adam murmured, “we’ll sort it all out tomorrow.”

  “What’s happening tomorrow?”

  “He’s movin’ in,” Jesse said in a tone of such finality.

  Her only response was a sudden swift intake of breath. Holy Moley! They aren’t wasting any time, are they?

  Adam turned his head to give her a chaste peck on the cheek, but she turned hers at the exact same time and instead of his lips grazing her cheek, they wound up grazing her soft, sweet mouth. And suddenly one large hand was cradling the back of her head, holding her still as he slanted his mouth over hers in a kiss that melted everything south of her waist, sending heat surging through her veins.

  Suffused with pleasure, she stopped breathing.

  It wasn’t a carnal kiss. It didn’t involve tongues or teeth. It was a chaste, G-rated kiss, their lips lifting, settling, opening, closing, sliding fluidly against one another’s in an exploration of each other’s textures, tastes, and scents. And yet, it was one of the most erotic kisses Sarah had ever received. Adam Sinclair was taking her with this kiss, claiming her as his. And she was letting him!

  Finally, reluctantly, he lifted his head. She stared up at him dazedly, a mixture of lust and confusion swirling in the turquoise depths of her eyes. His own were nearly black with the force of his need. “Thank you, love,” he whispered hoarsely. “You have no idea how much that meant to me. Jess was right. You are a treasure.”

  His hands fell to her shoulders, sliding down her arms, warming her skin everywhere they touched. They settled on her hips before beginning a slow upward glide, gathering the soft fabric of Jesse’s T-shirt as they went. “And now I want to see the rest of what’s mine.” He paused briefly, watching her carefully, giving her a chance to pull away.

  She bit her lower lip. Holy Moley! If those hands continued on their upward track, her most private places would soon be exposed in all their naked glory to the heat of his gaze.

  Until Jesse, no man had ever seen her naked. Well, except for Phillip Nugent, but he didn’t count. He hadn’t wanted to see her naked. That’s why he’d always fucked her in the dark—so he wouldn’t have to look at her. Said her full breasts and voluptuous curves grossed him out.

  Will they gross Adam out? Flushing with shame, she stiffened, lowering her head and closing her eyes.

  She jumped and let out a startled squeak when Jesse’s hands came down on her shoulders from behind. She’d nearly forgotten he was there. “You better not be thinkin’ about him again, Sarah. What did I tell you about puttin’ yourself down?”

  “Him who?” Adam asked.

  “Phillip Newgate, her bastard of an ex.”

  “Gent,” she corrected automatically. “Nugent.”

  “Fucker abused her,” Jesse spat out, ignoring her. “Both physically and emotionally. He beat her, humiliated her in public, raped her.” He looked at Adam, his expression murderous. “I’d like to have ten minutes alone with that asshole. Actually, that should be his name. Asshole Newport.”

  “Gent. Gent,” she practically hissed.

  “Asshole Gentgent?” Adam asked. “What kind of a name is that?”

  Sarah pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “Nugent,” she said firmly. “Asshole Nugent.”

  “Well, at least I got the Asshole part right,” Adam said wryly, watching the emotions playing across Sarah’s face. He released her waist to crook his finger under her chin, forcing her head up to look into his eyes. “You’re beautiful, Sarah. I don’t care what some ignorant dickwad told you. I’m telling you. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, both inside and out. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  He dropped his hands, holding her with just the smoldering intensity of his gaze. Her heart lurched. She could no more look away than she could bench-press Rockefeller Center. She held herself perfectly still, not daring to breathe. Things were moving faster than her ability to keep up. She suddenly felt…brittle. And more than just a little shaky.

  Adam studied her carefully, noting her pallor, the stiffness of her posture, the glitter of her eyes, before finally taking a step back, away from her. She was about to crash and he wanted Jesse to be the one who held her when she did. “Well, love,” he teased, his eyes crinkling up in a smile, “looks like you’ve earned yourself a reprieve for now. Get a good night’s sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow. Things will look better then, I promise.”

  Without giving her a chance to respond, he leaned in and gave her one last, swift kiss before getting into his black Range Rover and driving off down the driveway. Still dazed, she let Jesse hand her up into the Hummer, automatically lifting the T-shirt, spreading her legs and placing her hands behind her back. “Good girl” was all Jesse said, as soon as he could peel his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

  She was glad for the silence on the ride back to Jesse’s place, trying to make sense of everything that had happened over the last two days, but her brain’s circuitry was fried, leaving nothing but a chaotic jumble of thoughts and emotions all knotted together in a hopeless, jittery tangle.

  Back home, Jesse came around and released her seat belt, letting her slide down to the floor. Without being reminded, she turned and bent forward to lick the car seat clean. Jesus fuckin’ Christ! The submission inherent in her posture, in the very act itself squeezed Jesse’s chest so tight, he thought his heart would explode. Like he’d told Adam, she was every Dom’s dream. And she was all theirs.

  She set up her computer on the kitchen counter while Jesse threw her clothes in the washer. By the time she’d cancelled all her credit cards, her head was drooping. Without a word, he closed her laptop, picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. Undressing her quickly, he put her in bed, then climbed in after her, tucking her against him as he pulled the covers around them. “I owe you a punishment, Sarah,” he murmured, kissing her ear. “But not tonight. I’m too tired and angry and you’ve already been through enough for one day.”

  Another spanking. Somehow she couldn’t seem to bring herself to care. “Yes, Jesse.” With a tired sigh, she pressed back against the sculpted wonder of his body, letting his incredible heat soak into her, warming her to her core.

  Even though she was silent, he knew she wasn’t asleep. He could feel the tension vibrating through her body, hear her tiny little sighs as she struggled to quiet her thoughts. A struggle she lost. “Jesse?” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

  “Right here, sugar.”

  “This thing with Adam…”

  “He loves you, Sarah. As much as I do.”

  “But what if I-I’m not ready?” She turned within the circle of his arms so she could face him.

  Gently he tucked a springy curl behind her ear. “We think you are. And we are the ones who will ultimately decide.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “Don’t worry, sugar. We’ll take it slow. And you’re always free to use your safe word if you get overwhelmed by anythin’ we do to you. Your safe word gives you the ultimate power. It stops us in our tracks.” He paused to let that sink in, then bent his head forward to press his lips against her cheek. “So, what else is botherin’ you?”

  She sighed. “I’m never going to have any secrets from you, am I?”

  “Nor I from you,” he pointed out mildly. “Total honesty, remember? Trust is a two-way street.”

  Silently she searched his eyes, and when she saw nothing in them but the love he had for her, she smiled. “Okay. But if you and I are married, where does that leave Adam?”

  “You will be legally married to me. You’ll bear my name, but you will belong equally to him, heart, mind, and body. We’ll have a separate commitment cere
mony where he and I formally accept you as our sub and our wife, and the three of us will pledge ourselves to each other. It won’t be legal, but to us it will be just as bindin’.”

  Her mind was spinning. “Is it the same as a Collaring Ceremony?”

  “We could make it part of the same ceremony, yes. You will accept my permanent collar…”

  “But what would I accept of Adam’s?”

  “His rings.”

  “Oh.” Puzzled, she lifted her left hand, looking at her ring finger. “But, if we’re married, won’t I be wearing your rings?”

  “You will be wearin’ Adam’s rings in your nipples.”

  Oh.

  “Or your clit.”

  Oh! Ow! “Um, won’t that hurt?”

  He chuckled. “Don’t worry, sugar, it’s not somethin’ you need to decide tonight.” He pressed his lips to hers and it was several minutes before she could speak again.

  “So I guess I’ll be putting Marshall’s Hill on the market after all,” she said when she was finally able to come up for air.

  “Not necessarily. I’ve been thinkin’ about that. I think we should turn it into a bondage club/resort, caterin’ to an exclusive clientele. We’ll guarantee glamour, elegance, discretion and total privacy—and charge big bucks for the privilege. Think of it, Sarah, the location is ideal—easy access to the beach, the mountains, the James River Plantations, Williamsburg, Richmond—even DC is only a few hours away. Of course, we’ll have to expand the pool area, add a few more tennis courts, put in a golf course, add a capture garden. The old stable would make a great dungeon…”

  “Wow, you really have been thinking about it.”

  He claimed her lips in a gentle kiss. “We’ll talk about it in the mornin’. Right now you need your rest. And don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got you. And I’m never lettin’ you go.”