Table of Contents
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Coming Soon… Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 2
Copyright © 2015 Herobrine Publishing
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This unofficial Minecraft novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners.
Monday
Uuuuurrrgghhhh!!!
Honey, it’s time to get up!
Uuuurrrgghhhaacckkhuhh?
Honey, it’s night time already, you need to get up!
Aww Mom, do I have to?
Yes you do. Those villagers aren’t going to scare themselves.
Uuuurrgghhhhh!!!
Don’t Uuuuurrrgghhh!!! Me. You get up, and get ready this instant!
Oh, OK Mom...
Zombie parents can be a real pain sometimes...
It’s always “Do this,” and “Scare that...”
Some days I wish I were human so I wouldn’t have to get up at night and go scaring...
I’m sure human parents aren’t like this...
And I’m sure human parents aren’t always telling their kids what to do...
Human parents are probably really nice and let their kids stay up all day and do whatever they want.
But not Zombie parents....
“Don’t go out during the day because you’ll burn yourself! Blah, blah, blah...” They say.
One day, I’m just going to stay out all day, just to see what will happen.
My friend Creepy stays out during the day, and nothing happens to him.
As a matter of fact, so does Slimey next door.
Urrggghhhh! They have all the fun. Why can’t my parents be like that?
Well, at least I’m not alone. My best friend Skelee can’t go out during the day, his parents are really strict.
Skelee’s parents won’t even let him have a dog...
He said his uncle got a dog once, but it buried his grandmother in the back yard...
...And they never found her...
…Bummer…
Tuesday
Well, it’s a scare day today, so I have to go out and scare some villagers again.
Most of the time it’s boring...But sometimes it can be fun.
One time, I crept up behind a villager, I put my arms out like this and said Uurrrgghhh!!!
It really scared him...
Actually, he was so scared he ran away and dropped his sword.
I took it as a souvenir. I have it hanging up on my wall.
Another time, I was in a friendly mood, and I said “Hi!” to a villager...
...He fainted...
I think maybe it was my breath...
Mom always tells me not to brush my teeth...but I forgot and did anyway.
Wednesday
There’s a Zombie at school that really gets on my nerves...
No really, he steps on the nerves on my feet every time he walks by...
His name is Jeff.
I wouldn’t be so mad if he wasn’t bragging all of the time..
“I scared five villagers yesterday...” He told me.
“Who cares...anybody can do that.” I said...
“...And I did it during the daytime!” he said.
“What! During the daytime?!!!”
“Yep, during the daytime!”
Either he was lying or Jeff is not such a lame brain after all.
He said that his uncle took him out on a rainy day, and they scared a bunch of villagers that were huddled under a tree.
I still don’t believe him...
But it would explain why he smells funny.
Zombies aren’t supposed to get wet…
At scare school today, the teacher was teaching us about the best time to scare villagers...
He said if we’re really lucky we would catch a villager trying to mine at night.
They’re great, because they always drop cool stuff you could take home...
My buddy Creepy said his uncle scared a miner one night...
He almost went home with a fat diamond...
But his uncle got so excited, he blew up…
…He sent Creepy a selfie, though…
Thursday
After scare school, me, Creepy, Skelee and Slimey like to go out to have some fun.
We sometimes go to the village to cause some trouble.
Our favorite game is to bang on some doors and run away...
I almost got caught once, but I talked my way out of it.
Creepy told me that he came face to face with some villager once.
He got so nervous he started shaking...
He tried to introduce himself, but they just ran away.
I don’t think people really get Creepy.
My favorite game is hide and seek.
Our friend Slimey told us he played hide and seek with his uncle once.
One time his uncle hid in the water...
They never heard from him again...
Friday
I got home after school and my little brother started bothering me again.
He is such a little ankle biter!
No, really…
He likes to bite my ankles and run away…really fast!
Sometimes he hops on his chicken and then I can never catch him…
Mom says I used to do the same thing when I was his age.
I guess they don’t feed us enough when we’re kids…
My Mom said I had to get ready for dinner.
I asked her, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
“Rotten meatloaf.” She said.
“Can’t we go out to eat?” I asked her.
“There are no villagers out tonight. So no, we can’t!”
Bummer. I was really hungry…
I know what you’re thinking…
But we don’t eat villagers.
When we scare them, they sometimes drop really yummy food.
One time, I scared a villager and she dropped some cake!
That was the best day ever...
Saturday
Today, Mom says we’re going to my cousin’s house.
He lives in the Nether.
It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so hot there all the time.
My cousin’s name is Piggy.
Funny name right?
Piggy doesn’t think so...
When I asked Piggy where he was from, he t
old me something about his dad being struck by lightning or something like that.
Piggy is always making stuff up...
Piggy’s house is right in the middle of the Nether.
The Nether is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
First time I came, I brought my sleeping bag.
I rolled it out to get ready for bed and…Boom!
I’m never going to do that again…
Also it’s really noisy.
Too much snorting and wailing.
Mom tells me it’s just the Ghasts that do a fly by once in a while...
They’re really noisy for a flying octopus.
Piggy introduced me to his friend Blaze.
I tried to give him a high five, but he didn’t have any hands...
Talk about...Awkward!
Piggy and I play all kinds of games.
But the only game we can’t play is tag...
As soon as I tag Piggy, all of his relatives get mad at me and start chasing me for some reason...
Sunday
Contrary to what most people think, humans can be friendly.
I actually have a human friend...
His name is Steve.
We have a lot in common.
Steve is kind of weird looking,…He has a square head.
Steve also never changes his clothes...And I thought only Zombies did that!
Steve walks funny too...
I tried walking like him once.
And a villager started talking to me.
I didn’t know what to do.
So I ran away…
But even though he’s weird, Steve is still my friend.
My mom says I shouldn’t make friends with humans...
She says they smell funny...
Plus, she says, “If the humans become our friends, who are we going to scare?”
She didn’t like my idea about scaring little brothers...
My mom doesn’t like me asking her too many questions either...
One day I asked her, “Mommy, where do Zombies come from?
She seemed a bit tongue tied.
But, then I remembered she doesn’t have a tongue!
When she finally said something, she said, “Zombies are mobs created by computer programmers at Mojang to make the game of Minecraft a more challenging and enjoyable experience.”
Whenever my Mom uses big words, I know she’s hiding something...
My friend Creepy said that Zombies come from being bitten by other infected Zombies, a plague that originated from some secret military experiment.
I think Creepy watches too much television...
I liked Skelee’s answer the best…
He says Zombies aren’t made, they’re born…
He said they hatch from eggs.
Kinda makes sense. I’ve seen a lot of eggs around here...
Monday
Sometimes, after school, me and the guys go out to mess with the spiders.
They don’t do much, they just crawl around.
But we like to tip them over...
I saw some humans do that to a cow once.
It looked like fun...
But, you need to be careful with cave spiders.
They get really mad if you tip them over...
I think they think they’re better than regular spiders.
I found out the hard way that you shouldn’t tip over a silverfish.
They travel in gangs.
It wasn’t much fun getting beat up by silverfish.
Tuesday
I like the Endermen.
They’re really nice.
They’re also really tall for teenagers.
But I still can’t understand what they do all night.
I guess moving blocks around is fun...
But I don’t get it...
It’s probably a secret club, and only the coolest kids can be a part of it.
I tried talking to one to find out the inside scoop.
It didn’t work.
He just looked at me...
I wish I could travel like Endermen.
They don’t have to walk.
They just teleport wherever they want to go.
If I could do that, I would teleport to grandma’s house every day.
She always has the best snacks.
My favorite is when she makes lady fingers….
…the sandwiches I mean.
Wednesday
We have a witch that lives on our street.
I think she’s funny looking.
She has a big nose with a mole on it.
She walks around mad all of the time.
I would be mad too if I had a big nose with a mole on it.
One day Skelee asked the witch what it’s like to have a big nose with a mole on it.
She just walked away…mad.
The kids in the neighborhood sometimes tease her and say she’s ugly…
Mom says the witch probably looked better when she was younger.
So, me and the guys decided to look up her year book in the school library…
Nope, she’s always been ugly…
I wonder what it’s like to have a nose.
Dad says I had an uncle that had a nose.
He said that his uncle got a cold once...
And that’s the last time they ever saw his nose again...
Dad also said that I had another uncle that had ears.
He couldn’t find them after he started wearing a helmet.
…Man, I sure have a lot of uncles!
Thursday
I used to feel embarrassed when my body parts would occasionally fall off.
Now, it’s the best excuse ever for staying home from school!
It doesn’t happen often...
But, when it does, I milk it for all it’s worth.
I just have to pick the right body parts.
One time I said, “Mom, I just lost an eyeball!”
“Congratulations, honey!” She said.
But now, I stick to the legs…
…Can’t go to school without legs.
Mom says that when a Zombie loses a tooth, they can put it under their pillow and the tooth fairy will come and give you a quarter.
I thought I struck it rich, until I realized the most I can ever make is seventy-five cents.
Friday
Mom and Dad said that If I get a good grade on my Scare Test that I could get a pet.
Until I realized I could only get a pet squid.
I would rather have a cat or a dog, like Steve.
But Mom says we can’t because we shed all over the furniture.
“Dogs have a habit of burying our body parts in the back yard,” she says.
“Cats are worse.” she said. “They have a habit of turning everything into a scratching post.”
Squids are OK, I guess. But all they do is swim around.
Creepy’s parents gave him a pig.
Now that’s a cool pet.
He didn’t have it for long though...
One day it got struck by lightning.
I think my cousin Piggy thought he saw it roaming around his neighborhood in the Nether.
Speaking of lightning, one of Creepy’s uncles got struck by lightning once.
They took him to the hospital…
He didn’t stay long though...
The hospital exploded.
I think the witch on our street was struck by lightning once, too.
It probably hit her on the nose.
I guess if I got struck by lightning, I’d be mad too.
Saturday
My uncle Wither is coming to visit today.
I wouldn’t mind, but he usually makes such a mess!
I tried sneaking up on him once.
I couldn’t do it.
He seems to always know when I’m coming.
I’m not going to be able to stay long though.
I want to go see Skelee’s older br
other’s new band.
They call themselves The Walking Dead.
Cool...
Mom doesn’t like them...
She says they’re a bad influence...
She says if I keep listening to music like that I’ll start acting more human...
Uncle Wither told me he was in a band once...
I thought it was a rock band...
Turned out it was Obsidian...
Not cool…
Sunday
I’d thought I would go visit Steve today.
Steve sometimes likes to mine at night.
I think I’m going to creep up to him and scare him today.
But he usually hears me coming...
Steve says he wants to be a Zombie like me...
He says Zombies have the easy life.
Boy, if he only knew...
I tried to introduce Steve to my friends.
But Creepy got really nervous around him.
So, we had to put Creepy on a time out.
Steve and Skelee got along really well.
They even play cowboys and Indians.
Steve is usually the cowboy...
I know because when they’re finished Steve’s usually covered in arrows.
Today Steve asked me how you can tell a girl Zombie from a boy Zombie.
I said, “That’s easy. All you have to do is look at our clothes.”
Steve, looked at me…confused.
Diary of a Minecraft Zombie: Book 1 Page 1
