Captain Awesome and the Ultimate Spelling Bee

by George O'Connor

  Ms. Beasley sat in the front row with the other two spelling bee judges: the school librarian and another second grade teacher named Ms. Eckles.

  Behind them sat the second-grade students who were not in the bee, and behind them sat parents and family members.

  “Thank you all for coming today,” Ms. Eckles announced with a smile. “I’m sure you’re eager to see our little spellers give it their best shot, so let the bee begin!” she said.

  The librarian looked over the top of her glasses and inspected the twelve second-graders lined up on the stage: Jake Story, Gil Ditko, Olivia Simonson, Neal Chaykin, Howard Adams, Jane Romita, Wilma Eisner, Ellen Moore, Stan Kirby Jr., Dara Sim, Meredith Mooney, and Eugene.

  They stood side by side, ready for whatever wordy words awaited to trick them with blends, short vowels, and silent e’s.

  “When it is your turn, please step forward. I will read you a word and use it in a sentence. You will then spell the word. You will only have one chance to spell it correctly. Good luck to all of you.”

  And with that, The Ultimate Spelling Bee finally began!

  “Gil Ditko!” the librarian announced.

  Gil stepped forward. He smiled at the librarian. She did not smile back. Spelling was very serious business. Gil adjusted his glasses.

  “Your word is ‘sound,’ ” said the librarian. “Don’t make a sound.”

  Gil’s lip quivered and he started to sweat. His hands nervously tapped his jeans. “Um, sound. S-o-u-n-d. Sound.”

  Gil let out a sigh and then smiled.

  “Correct,” said the librarian.

  One by one each of the students stepped forward and was challenged by the librarian and her words of trickiness.

  “Correct! Incorrect! Incorrect! Incorrect!” the librarian said. Boom! Boom! Boom! And just like that Wilma Eisner, Ellen Moore, and Neal Chaykin were out.

  “Eugene McGillicudy!” the librarian called out.

  GULP!

  Eugene felt like his feet were made of glue and he was walking through mud. He dragged himself to the edge of the stage, his heart pounding in his chest.

  I wonder if Super Dude was this nervous when he battled the Exclamation Pointer for control of Grammartopia in Super Dude No. 22, Eugene thought. He couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Super Dude defeating the Pointer.

  “Go, Eugene!” Charlie called out from the audience.

  “SHUSH!” cried the librarian. She raised a finger to her lips and glared at Charlie.

  Oh. My. Underwear! A shocking thought suddenly hit Eugene. Why didn’t I see it before?!

  Crazy as it sounds, Eugene hadn’t recognized the librarian until that moment. He had been to the library dozens of times, but today was the first time he had ever seen the librarian without a finger to her lips and saying “Shush!”

  The librarian had the ability to make any student go silent with a mere glance! And if her laser stare didn’t work, she’d unleash the awful fury of the Super Shush!

  And now here she was, judging the spelling bee?!

  Evil is full of surprises, Eugene thought.

  It all made sense now. The librarian was in fact The Shusher, an evil do-badress who kept kids quiet in the library and tricked them into misspelling words!

  Ms. Beasley and Ms. Eckles had no idea what evil was lurking in the chair right next to them! Eugene had to warn them! But how?!

  Oh! The Sunnyview Superhero Squad Hopping Foot Code! It was his only hope! Eugene began to hop up and down on one foot.

  People in the audience started to giggle.

  “SHUSH!” the librarian said, sweeping her finger up to her lips. The audience instantly grew silent. Everyone knew better than to mess with The Shusher!

  “Hop left twice. Small hop. Big hop. Little hop, hop, hop,” Charlie said to himself as he translated Eugene’s hopping code into letters. “Gfosudamuggey,” Charlie read back to himself, then smacked his forehead.

  “Oh, I wish I’d paid more attention to Eugene when he explained the Sunnyview Superhero Squad Hopping Foot Code to me!” he groaned.

  “Eugene? Is something wrong? Do you have to go to the bathroom?” Ms. Beasley asked, concerned.

  Eugene stopped hopping. Next time, I’m making sure Charlie pays more attention when I explain the Sunnyview Superhero Squad Hopping Foot Code to him! Eugene thought.

  “No, Ms. Beasley,” Eugene said with a sigh. “I’m ready for my word.”

  “Your word is ‘history,’ ” The Shusher read from her list.

  “ ‘History,’ ” Eugene repeated. He closed both eyes. “Um . . . h-i-s-t-o-r-y?” Eugene opened one eye in time to see Charlie burst from his chair.

  “Go, Euge—”

  “SHUSH!” The Shusher hissed, cutting Charlie off midcheer.

  Charlie fell back into his chair. Eugene couldn’t help but smile. His superspelling powers were working perfectly.

  And his hard studying didn’t hurt either.

  Howard Adams got nervous and added an extra l to the word “volume.” He had to sit down.

  Olivia Simonson spelled “chant” correctly and gave a happy squeal.

  Then it was Meredith’s turn. “Just watch and learn, Ew-gene.” Meredith snarled at Eugene. She took her place at center stage. “Hello, my name is capital M Meredith, capital M Mooney. I’d like to thank you all for coming to share in my victory.”

  “You haven’t won yet, dear. You still need to spell your words correctly,” Ms. Beasley politely reminded Meredith.

  “Oh, please. That’s the easy part,” Meredith replied.

  “Meredith, your word is ‘mine,’ ” the librarian said.

  “WHAT? Meredith gets an easy-peasy word like ‘mine?!’ ” Charlie whispered to Sally. “It’s, like, her favorite word. Mine! Mine! Mine!”

  “ ‘Mine.’ M-i-n . . . um, gee, what could the last letter be?” Meredith said, pretending not to know. “Oh, I don’t know. Could it be . . . e? ‘Mine.’ As in, ‘The spelling bee trophy is mine.’ ” Meredith stuck her tongue out at Eugene and strolled back to her chair.

  BELLS!

  WHISTLES!

  ALARMS!

  No, not in the auditorium, but in Eugene’s head. How did he not see it before?! While other students had to dodge through a maze of words with a million letters, Meredith got to spell easy words like “mine”! It could mean only one thing. . . .

  The Shusher and Little Miss Stinky Pinky were working together to make sure evil outspelled the forces of good!

  Time to teach The Shusher and Little Miss Stinky Pinky a new word, Eugene thought. And that word is . . . CAPTAIN AWESOME! Eugene paused. Wait. That’s two words, isn’t it?

  Eugene leaped from his chair and shouted, “MI-TEE!”

  “Are you feeling all right, Eugene?” Ms. Beasley asked as she walked Eugene back to his chair on the stage. “You don’t have to continue with the spelling bee if you don’t want to. . . .”

  “Oh, I want to all right,” Eugene said, a big smile on his face. “I know what The Shusher and Miss Stinky Pinky are up to!”

  “Ew, you are such a weirdo, Eu-germ,” Meredith whispered the moment Eugene sat down.

  “A weirdo for truth, justice, and no more easy-peasy words for the bad guys during the spelling bee, you mean,” Eugene replied.

  The next rounds of the spelling bee went by in a blur.

  “Incorrect! Correct! Incorrect! Incorrect! Incorrect!” the Shusher announced. Kids were dropping faster than candy from a piñata. Gil Ditko, out! Jane Romita, out! Dara Sim, out! Stan Kirby Jr., out!

  Soon there were only four kids left: Jake Story, Olivia Simonson, Meredith, and Eugene.

  Eugene was nervous—even more nervous than the time he first tried split pea soup. It felt like the butterflies in his stomach had built a ginormous roller-coaster and were screaming in delight as they did loop after loop after loop inside his tummy.

  “Jake Story!” The Shusher said. “Your word is . . . ‘browse’. As in: ‘The librarian d
ecided to browse the shelves for the right book.’ ”

  Jake ran a hand through his red hair, which was combed back over his head. “ ‘Browse.’ B-r-o-w-z-e. ‘Browse’.”

  “Incorrect,” The Shusher said.

  “We love you, Jakey!” Jake’s mom called out from the audience.

  The Shusher’s finger was about to shoot up to her lips, but she stopped midway and lowered it slowly.

  Even a bad guy understands it’s pretty cool to let your son know you love him, Eugene thought.

  Jake waved to his mom and dad and went back to his seat.

  Olivia Simonson was next. She spelled the word “million” incorrectly.

  Olivia went to sit next to Jake, leaving Meredith and Eugene.

  “You might as well join them, Eu-lose,” Meredith said. “There’s no way you can outspell me.”

  “You’ll never beat me!” Eugene said. “Goodness must win!”

  “Ha! Yeah, right. You can’t even spell ‘victory,’ ” Meredith snorted.

  Eugene opened his mouth, but then stopped. I hate it when she’s right, he thought.

  “Next up, Meredith Mooney!” The Shusher announced. “Your word is . . . ‘victory.’ ‘Victory belonged to the hero.’ ”

  “Victory. V-i-c-t-e-r-y.” Meredith yawned. “ ‘Victory.’ ” She pivoted on her foot and practically skipped back to her chair. And then she heard it.

  “Incorrect!” The Shusher said.

  Apparently, Meredith couldn’t spell “victory” either.

  Meredith froze. She instantly spun to face the judges. “No, I can’t be wrong. Check again!”

  “I’m sorry, Meredith, but you spelled the word incorrectly,” The Shusher explained.

  “Did not!”

  “Did so.”

  Eugene couldn’t help but smile. He loved it when bad guys argued with each other.

  “Meredith, we can discuss this later, but please sit down for now,” Ms. Beasley said in a calm voice.

  Meredith’s face turned redder than a tomato. It was a look her mom and dad knew very well and they covered their ears, but the explosive tantrum never came. No shouts, no screams, no stomping. Meredith smoothed her dress, quietly sat down, and somehow managed to not make another sound.

  Although she still looked like she was going to explode.

  “Eugene, if you can spell ‘victory,’ you will then get one last word,” Ms. Eckles explained.

  “Victory . . . ,” Eugene repeated. He looked at his shoes. There was no way he could spell the word, but he knew someone who could!

  Eugene ran off the stage.

  “Yes! I win!” Meredith said, jumping to her feet and thrusting both arms in the air.

  “No, you do not win,” Ms. Eckles informed Meredith. “And I’m sure Eugene has a perfectly good reason for . . . Oh my. . . .”

  Ms. Eckles’ words trailed off. She and The Shusher both stood in stunned silence. Eugene had not returned. Instead the world’s mightiest hero, Captain Awesome, had taken the stage.

  “Go, Captain Awesome!” called Charlie from the audience.

  The Shusher was so shocked, she didn’t even shush Charlie.

  Ms. Eckles and The Shusher both turned to look at Ms. Beasley. Ms. Beasley was rubbing her forehead. “I know. I know. You warned me,” she said to them.

  Captain Awesome took a deep breath and mustered all his spelling powers. “Victory. V-i-c-t-o-r-y,” he said without stopping once to take a breath. “ ‘Victory.’ ”

  “Correct!” The Shusher said.

  The audience cheered! Captain Awesome’s spelling powers were awesome!

  “Eugene,” The Shusher began.

  “Captain Awesome,” Captain Awesome corrected.

  “Captain. If you spell the next word, you win the spelling bee. Are you ready?”

  Captain Awesome puffed out his chest and struck a heroic spelling pose. “Do your worst!” he announced in his most heroic voice ever.

  “Your word is . . . ‘shush’. As in: ‘Shush that silly chitter-chatter.’ ”

  Captain Awesome didn’t say a word.

  Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The sound of the clock filled the auditorium. Parents’ arms grew tired of holding out their smartphones. Time stretched like warm taffy, but Captain Awesome would not utter a sound.

  “Did you hear me, young man?” The Shusher asked, breaking the silence. “I said, ‘shush.’ ”

  “But I didn’t say anything,” Captain Awesome replied.

  “I know,” The Shusher said. “And you need to spell your word or Meredith will get a chance to spell it and win the bee.”

  “Okay! I’m ready! Tell me my word!” Captain Awesome announced in his very most ready-to-spell voice.

  “Your word is . . . ‘shush.’ ”

  “Come on!” Captain Awesome threw his hands up. “How can I spell my word if I can’t speak?”

  “Why can’t you speak?” The Shusher asked.

  “Because you keep telling me to shush!” Captain Awesome explained.

  “No, Captain, that’s your word,” The Shusher explained.

  “What’s my word?”

  “ ‘Shush!’ ”

  “But I’m not saying anything!”

  Ms. Beasley interrupted them. “Eugene, I mean, Captain, the word you’re supposed to spell is ‘shush.’ She’s not telling you to shush, she’s asking you to spell it.”

  “Well, why didn’t you say so!” Captain Awesome said.

  The Shusher made a face that Captain Awesome thought only his mom could make.

  “Shush,” Captain Awesome began slowly. “S-u-s . . .” He paused. Something was wrong. Something was missing.

  And then he remembered what Super Dude always said: “Be brave. Be strong. Help others and always do your best. If you can do those things, then you’ll never truly lose.”

  The butterflies stopped fluttering. Captain Awesome started over. “Shush . . . S-H-U-S-H. ‘Shush.’ ”

  The Shusher didn’t respond. Her finger gently tapped the list of spelling words. Finally she cracked a smile. “Nice job, Captain. You win the spelling bee!”

  The crowd cheered! Charlie rushed onto the stage! Ms. Beasley, Ms. Eckles, and even The Shusher clapped!

  Meredith Mooney sat in her chair, arms crossed. Her face had long ago gone past tomato and was on its way to fire-truck red.

  Captain Awesome had kept the spelling bee trophy from the hands of evil! There was only one word to describe this moment . . .

  MI-TEE!

  Charlie gave Eugene a high five. “That was the most awesome thing I’ve seen since Super Dude defeated the Warty Wicked Witch from Wonton!” Charlie cheered. “Even Queen Stinkypants was clapping for you.”

  Queen Stinkypants (aka Molly McGillicudy) was Eugene’s little sister.

  “Thanks,” Eugene said proudly. “And check out the awesome trophy I got!” But as he turned to grab the trophy, he was met with . . .

  SHOCK!

  SURPRISE!

  DOUBLE SHOCK!

  The trophy was gone!

  He had only turned his back on the trophy long enough to high-five Charlie and it was gone?!

  “Grab your cheese, Nacho Cheese Man,” Captain Awesome whispered as he scanned the auditorium. “Something stinks in this auditorium, and it’s not Queen Stinkypants!”

  Nacho Cheese Man quickly put on his disguise and then reached into his backpack. He pulled out a fresh can of classic nacho cheese flavor. “Let’s do this,” he said.

  “Captain Awesome! Nacho Cheese Man!” a girl’s voice cried out from behind them.

  It was another superhero! And she had Meredith and the spelling bee trophy! WAIT! There was another superhero in Sunnyview?! Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man were speechless.

  “Hello, my name is—” Captain Awesome began, but the mysterious hero cut him off.

  “I know who you are, Captain Awesome. And you, too, Nacho Cheese Man. How could I not know the two greatest superheroes in Sunnyview? Besides me,
of course.”

  The mystery hero handed the spelling bee trophy to Captain Awesome. “I caught Little Miss Stinky Pinky trying to sneak out the side door with your trophy.”

  “I wasn’t really taking it! I was just borrowing it! I promise! Please don’t tell anyone!” Meredith pleaded.

  “Captain Awesome, it’s your call. . . ,” the mystery hero said.

  What would Super Dude do? Captain Awesome wondered. He knew the answer.

  “You’re free to go, Stinky Pinky,” Captain Awesome began, “but you must promise to be good and—”

  “Yeah, fine, be good, whatever, I promise,” Meredith said as she ran to join her parents outside.

  Captain Awesome sighed, then turned to the mystery hero and said, “Thank you . . .”

  But she was gone.

  Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man ran outside the auditorium where the other students enjoyed snacks with their parents.

  “Who do you think it was?” Nacho Cheese Man asked.

  “Well, I know who it wasn’t,” Captain Awesome said as Meredith stuck her tongue out at him.

  The two heroes had a new mystery to solve. But it would have to wait. Right now Captain Awesome had a reason to celebrate. He had won the spelling bee!

  Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man made their way to where their parents were waiting for them . . . and holding the biggest batch of brownies the superheroes had ever seen.

  MI-TEE!

  “Boo!”

  Eugene McGillicudy pedaled his bike next to his best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones.

  Could Halloween be any more awesome? Eugene thought.

  The dry fall leaves swirled across the street and crunched under the wheels of their bikes.