Wild Thoughts

by Delaney Diamond

  “How do you remember all of these details?”

  “I listen, and I have a great memory. But don’t worry, I’ll be right here with you keeping track of the conversations. Just remember to smile and try flirting a little.”

  “Did you say flirting?”

  “Yes, absolutely. Tonight is an opportunity to network, but you’re a big, good-looking man. You already stand out for that reason, so seal the deal with your charming personality and sexy smile.”

  “Oh, so you think I have a sexy smile?” Malik asked, his voice dropping low.

  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

  He laughed softly. “I promise I won’t.”

  “Of course not. You’re just the guy who has panties thrown at him on a regular basis.” She pouted and squeezed his arm tighter. “Poor me and all these other women running around.”

  “Keep playing,” he said. The warning in his voice sent a ripple of excitement down her spine.

  Lindsay laughed and tugged him over to be introduced to some acquaintances.

  The rest of the evening was spent in pretty much the same way. Lindsay introduced Malik to people that she knew as her fiancé, and at some point, he launched into descriptions of his work, how he worked, and the inspiration for the pieces. Despite not being a normally outgoing person, he was a natural and great conversationalist who kept anyone listening enthralled. Observing him, she fell a little bit under his spell herself.

  At one point, a colleague approached and whispered, “Where in the world did you find that young man?” Lindsay coyly laughed and said they found each other.

  As the evening wore on, she and Malik separated—Lindsay chatted up a fellow podcaster and exchanged contact information, while Malik sat at a table talking with a couple. Relaxed and in her element, she wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

  “Hi, Lindsay.”

  She stiffened at the sound of that soft, familiar voice that made her blood run cold. Swinging around, she saw Melanie Reed, her ex-boyfriend’s wife. For a split second, she felt like bursting into tears. She wasn’t prepared to see her right then, and her appearance meant Shawn was there, too. She wasn’t surprised Reed Advertising had sent a representative as they’d done in the past, but this would be the first time Shawn was the rep for the company.

  Melanie had blonde hair and gray eyes. Added to that, she was petite, a tiny little thing who, when she’d been pregnant, had simply looked like she was hiding a basketball under her shirt. There really was no justice in the world.

  “Melanie.” Her voice sounded as fake-friendly as her smile probably looked. “Here alone?” Lindsay asked, bracing for Shawn’s appearance.

  “Shawn’s around here somewhere.” She smiled uncertainly.

  Like Lindsay, Melanie had worked at Reed Advertising before her marriage to Shawn. After they married, she quit her job and now had a full-time nanny, though she considered herself a full-time mother. How cute.

  “Are you here alone?” Melanie asked.

  She hated the way Melanie asked the question, as if she couldn’t possibly be there with someone else. As if she wouldn’t have a friend, or even a man, there with her.

  “No, actually. I’m here with my fiancé.”

  She looked directly into her enemy’s eyes and watched Melanie’s blonde brows fly up toward her hairline.

  “I didn’t know you were engaged.”

  “Why would you?”

  “True,” Melanie said with a wry twist of the mouth. “Where is he?”

  “He’s…” Lindsay looked at where she’d last seen Malik and saw him coming toward them. “There he is.”

  She almost jumped into his arms as he strolled up holding two glasses of wine.

  “Hi,” he said, nodding at Melanie. He handed one of the glasses to Lindsay. “Thought you might be thirsty.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” She smiled up at him with an extra sugary smile.

  One of Malik’s eyebrows shot up.

  “Honey, this is Melanie Reed. She’s married to my ex-boyfriend, Shawn. Remember I told you about him?” She hadn’t told him anything of the sort but hoped he’d catch on fast.

  “Nice to meet you.” He and Melanie shook hands.

  “Keeping secrets, I see,” Melanie said.

  Lindsay forced out a peal of laughter. “Secrets? No. We wanted to maintain our privacy, that’s all. And we wanted to take our time and do things right. No shotgun wedding for us. Oops.” Lindsay covered her mouth and fake laughed, enjoying the two bright spots of color that filled the other woman’s cheeks.

  Tension filled Malik’s arm as Melanie fiddled with her purse.

  “That’s nice. Well, um, I’ll see you all later. Gonna go find Shawn. Congratulations to you both.”

  “Buh-bye,” Lindsay sang as she walked away.

  She shifted away from Malik, but he tightened the hold on her arm and yanked her hard against his body.

  “Ouch,” she whispered.

  “We gotta talk.” He put down their glasses and hauled her toward the far end of the room, away from most of the people milling about. Standing with his back to the room and blocking her from view, he asked, “What was that catty crap back there? Why were you going at her like that? What’s your beef with her?”

  “First of all, calm down. She’s awful. That bitch stole my man five years ago when he cheated on me with her. As if that wasn’t enough, she very conveniently got pregnant and he had to marry her. She got the ring. I didn’t. So don’t be fooled by the fake sweet act.”

  “A woman can’t steal a man. He’s not a damn purse or car.”

  “Well then, I guess I’m just a bitch.”

  “Nah, you’re a softie.”

  She laughed. “Who’s going to believe that?”

  “I do. I see it.”

  She hated him right then, because she felt like he saw the part of her she was trying to hide. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

  “I know you need to be careful. That stunt you pulled, calling her out like that, could backfire.”

  “Backfire how? There’s nothing she could say or do to me that would make me care. I don’t have to be nice to her.”

  “Maybe you should shift some of that anger at him, since he was the one who cheated.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of anger for both of them. And do me a favor. Don’t tell me how to feel or how to act.” Lindsay stalked away, leaving him behind.

  Some time later, Lindsay stood on the concrete balcony outside the double doors of the venue. A nick of guilt pricked her chest at the way she’d talked to Malik. She shouldn’t have taken out her anger on him but resented the way he’d immediately come to Melanie’s defense. He didn’t know how hurt she’d been after her breakup with Shawn, the insecurities she’d experienced.

  Shawn Reed was the reason Lindsay hadn’t had a boyfriend in five years. She’d had lovers, but no boyfriends. Baring your soul to the person you loved shouldn’t mean losing them, but that’s exactly what happened. Honesty was not always the best policy.

  Before she found out he’d cheated and gotten Melanie pregnant, she’d told Shawn the truth about how Steele had been her last name in Kansas, up until her mother remarried when Lindsay turned five. She no longer carried that name because of the shame associated with it. When she was old enough to fully understand what happened, her mother explained that when she married Tyrus Winthrop, it was a new start for them and she’d wanted Lindsay to have a clean slate—without the baggage that came with the Steele name.

  She thought Shawn would understand. After all, his family was in advertising and he understood about rebranding. Instead, he broke up with her only days later, and when she’d tried to reconcile, he’d told her about Melanie’s pregnancy. She couldn’t stay at Reed Advertising after that. It was too much. She’d lost the man she thought she’d marry and her job within weeks of each other.

  Two years later, still not completely recovered, she learned Mela
nie was pregnant with baby number two. She shouldn’t have thrown herself at Malik, but she’d needed to feel better about herself, which didn’t work when he rejected her. She knew the truth about that night now, but doubling down and concentrating on making her podcast a success had been the right move. She could now enjoy the fruits of her labor.

  “What the hell did you say to my wife?”

  Lindsay turned and faced an angry Shawn and the scowl on his brown face. She straightened her shoulders. “What’s the matter? Did your delicate little flower run crying to you because I made one little comment she couldn’t handle?”

  “Does it make you feel good to keep coming at her like that?”

  “Me? She’s the one who’s always made a point to come at me. Why don’t you tell her to leave me alone, and maybe she won’t get her wittle feelings hurt.” She said the last few words in a baby voice.

  Pushing away from the railing, she intended to walk right by Shawn, but he grabbed her wrist and dragged her into a corner of the balcony.

  Lindsay glared at him and tugged, but Shawn’s fingers only tightened around her wrist, and she realized with a start that no one knew they were out there. The pulse beat in her throat tripled in speed. Still, she added steel to her voice when she said, “Take your goddamn hands off me.”

  Shawn got in her face. “Leave Melanie alone. Don’t forget I know about your sordid family history. You have a great career now. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to lose everything you’ve worked so hard for when your secret gets out.”

  Her gut contracted at the menacing threat. “I couldn’t care less. Tell the whole universe for all I care. I didn’t do those things, my father did. No one with any sense would blame me for his actions.”

  Shawn’s eyes narrowed. “You sure about that?”

  “I said let go!” Lindsay tugged again, needing to escape him and the doubts he’d resurrected.

  One minute Shawn was holding her wrist in a vise, the next a thick hand latched onto his shoulder. Shawn’s face contorted into a pained grimace, and he lowered slowly to his knees. Malik stood behind him, and whatever hold Malik had on him, he couldn’t move or say much except expel a soft whimper from his open mouth.

  Finally, Malik let go and Shawn let out an audible gasp and clutched his shoulder. Malik walked around Shawn and stood between him and Lindsay. He was so big, she couldn’t see her ex anymore.

  He bent to the other man’s face. “That hold I just put on you, that was me being nice. It’s nothing compared to what I’ll do if you put your fucking hands on her again. We clear?”

  She didn’t see him, but Shawn must have nodded because Malik straightened. She eased to the other side of him but stayed a little behind the protection of his body.

  “You owe my fiancée an apology,” Malik said.

  Lindsay glanced at his profile. He spoke calmly and in a measured tone, but his jaw was set with the same rigid tension as the rest of his body.

  “I’m sorry,” Shawn said, rubbing the area Malik had gripped.

  “She can’t hear you, and you need to look at her when you say it.”

  Shawn lifted his gaze and swallowed. Lindsay almost felt sorry for him.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come at you like that.”

  “Is that good enough for you?” Malik asked her.

  Lindsay nodded. “Yes.”

  Shawn rose from the ground.

  “Thanks for your cooperation,” Malik said. He stuck a hand in his pocket and stepped to Shawn, who immediately backed up two steps. “If I find out you’ve touched my fiancée again, I’ll come see you. Then you can get in my face and grab me, and we’ll see how that goes.”

  Shawn scurried off and left them alone.

  “You okay?” Malik took her hand and gently rubbed his thumb over the sunflower on the inside of her wrist. His finger was rough because of the work he did, but the gentle touch warmed her insides and settled her frayed nerves. It also made her yearn for more.

  She pulled away. “Don’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Try to save me. I’m not a damsel in distress. I can take care of myself. I got this.”

  “And I got you.”

  They stared at each other on the semi-lit balcony for a few moments before Lindsay glanced away. He saw too much and made her want to reach for more. The idea of something deeper gave her hope, but she couldn’t risk having those types of thoughts. Not when none of this was real. Not when their “relationship” would be over in a few months.

  “Let’s go back inside,” he said.

  Malik extended his hand, and she took it.

  Chapter 10

  “I’m a genius,” Lindsay sang, waltzing around her bedroom but staying in view of the camera so her sister could see her.

  Nina had gifted her the down payment for the townhouse, and after Lindsay bought it, she’d spent the most money on this room. The bed with the tufted headboard and the other furniture were new. So were the damask-designed bed linens that matched the drapes. She topped off the feminine decor by incorporating pink and pastel colors, and having an electrician remove the standard light fixture and installing a chandelier.

  “I already know you’re a genius.” Nina spoke from the laptop resting on Lindsay’s dresser. She had finally landed in a location with a strong enough Internet connection that allowed them to have a video Skype session.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m talking about? What genius thing I’ve done?”

  “What genius thing have you done?” Nina asked.

  “This.” Lindsay flashed the diamond ring on her left hand, and Nina’s eyes widened to double their size.

  Her face came closer to the screen for a better look. “Wait a minute, who…what... You’re engaged?”

  “Yes and no.” Lindsay updated her on the agreement with Malik. She followed with details about the successful photo shoot—including the kiss, their most recent outing to the podcast event, and she reminded her sister about Malik’s sculptures that she’d already emailed about.

  “You really think this is going to work?” Nina asked, a heavy dose of skepticism in her voice.

  “Of course it will. We have to keep up the ruse and act like we’re in love for the next few months, but how hard could it be?” She spoke in a flippant manner, but the truth was, the ruse was getting harder. She couldn’t ignore her burgeoning feelings for Malik.

  “You like sex. Are you going to be abstinent, or are you guys sleeping together? And if you’re not sleeping together, do you plan to risk being seen with other men in the meantime? This book deal has made you more high-profile.”

  “I’m going to sleep with him.” She had it all figured out.

  “Oh really?”

  Lindsay nodded. “He wants me.”

  He’d said as much. Casually, matter-of-factly, in that deep, rich voice of his the day she delivered the photos. She’d never had a man talk to her like that, and now that she’d had time to think about what he’d said, she realized that he was trying to keep them at his own pace, but she’d show Malik that Lindsay Winthrop waited for no man, and few men could resist her.

  “Sleeping with him sounds like a terrible idea. You were upset for months after he rejected you at Stephan’s party.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says me, the person who knows you better than anyone else. The person you confided in and who doesn’t want to see you get hurt.”

  Lindsay plopped onto the cushioned stool at the foot of the bed and folded her legs beneath her. “Nina, sweetie, have you forgotten who you’re talking to? I don’t get my heart broken. I break hearts.”

  Nina pursed his lips, her way of refraining from saying what she wanted to say.

  “Stop looking at me like a disapproving mother. I know what I’m doing.”

  “But Malik—”

  “Is no different than any other man. So I’ve mentioned him once or twice in the past.” She shrugged one shoulder.

&nbs
p; “You’ve mentioned him more than once or twice.”

  “What’s the big deal? He’s my type, so I noticed him. I’m not going to get caught up in my feelings. I’m not stupid.”

  “No, you’re not, but sometimes I think you forget all your positive qualities. You’re beautiful. You’re smart—”

  “I know. I have the words posted next to the mirror in my bathroom so I can see them every morning and night while I brush my teeth.”

  You’re beautiful.

  You’re smart.

  You’re a winner.

  You’re strong.

  “I just want to have a little fun.” Lindsay held strong to her conviction to hide the pain ripping through her. Nina had comforted her when Shawn ended their relationship, and their sisterly bond meant their conversations got deep. They left her open and feeling raw. She hated it.

  Nina’s eyes narrowed. “Is that all, or do you like Malik?”

  “I do not like him!” Lindsay glared at the laptop.

  “Yes, you do,” Nina countered.

  Lindsay studied her manicured nails. “Okay, maybe I like him a little bit. But I don’t like him, like him.”

  “The way you talk about him and what you said about that kiss, you like him, like him.”

  She’d slipped up and admitted how much she’d enjoyed the kiss they shared and wouldn’t mind kissing him again, segueing into the Podcast Movers & Shakers reception they’d attended last week and the way he’d handled Shawn.

  He’d also done a great job mingling with the other attendees. Although he seemed against the flirting at first, he’d eventually relaxed into the role of newly-discovered artist and the charming fiancé of a relationship expert. With his quiet enthusiasm, he sold himself very well, and every now and again she caught a bit of his hidden personality. A little smile or laugh, and once in a while a wink. With his brawny appearance coupled with the story she’d crafted around how they’d met through a friend, he’d had female attendees eating out of his hand.