Wild Thoughts

by Delaney Diamond

  “You better not drop me,” Lindsay said, as he climbed the stairs. She nibbled on his earlobe.

  “Not in a million years. I want you to stay the night, too.”

  She sighed and pressed her face into his neck. “I’ll stay as long as you let me,” she whispered.

  “I’m heading out,” Malik said.

  Lindsay was in the kitchen, in the process of placing two halves of a chicken sandwich into a paper sack for him to take.

  He was on his way to deliver sculptures to two Noble Gallery locations—one off Highway 85, where the exhibit had taken place, and the other to their Midtown location. Since it was around lunchtime and he had been running late, partly because she wouldn’t let him leave the bed, she made him a sandwich for the road.

  “Here you go,” she said, handing over the food with a bottle of water.

  “Look at you, being all sexy and domestic.” He dragged her close and planted a loud smack on her lips.

  Lindsay giggled. “Don’t get too comfortable with this arrangement.”

  To be honest, she liked doing things for him. He’d planned to stop at a drive-thru on the way, but she offered to make the sandwich, and he’d been so appreciative of such a small gesture of kindness. The little things really made a difference in a relationship. She made a mental note to do a podcast on the topic.

  “I better leave before you make me any later,” Malik muttered against her lips.

  He smacked her on the booty and headed for the door.

  Lindsay placed a hand on her hip. “Oh sure, blame me. I didn’t hear you complaining this morning. Next time I’ll behave myself.”

  He stopped at the door. “Don’t you dare. I’ll see you later, and don’t let Daisy up on the bed.”

  “I won’t, I won’t,” she grumbled. She’d allowed the dog on the bed one time, and he’d harassed her ever since.

  After he left, Lindsay cleaned up the kitchen and took her own sandwich and a glass of juice to the office. The second book was coming along nicely, and she was excited about the release and book signing for The Sexy Diva Talks Dating.

  She sat down at the desk and ate her sandwich, tossing a piece to Daisy, who’d followed her into the office to keep her company.

  Lindsay stared out the window. The past few days had been wonderful reconnecting with Malik. He’d told her about a few of his crazy exes, and she recognized why those women behaved that way. Malik had a way of making you feel like you were the center of the universe, and his creative lovemaking was addictive. She understood how a woman could go a little crazy when all of that was taken away.

  Despite their reconciliation, there was more work to do. She hadn’t been completely honest with him and needed to rectify that. She and Malik were in a good place now, and she didn’t want to rock the boat, but she needed to tell him everything and would do so after they came back from New York. Honesty and trust were important for a healthy relationship. Hadn’t she discussed something similar in one of her podcasts?

  Dear Trust Issues,

  Trust is important for a healthy relationship. If you don’t trust your partner or he doesn’t trust you, can you really be yourself? Can you take your relationship to the next level?

  Time to take her own advice. She needed to be honest and tell Malik who her father was, and trust that he would understand.

  Chapter 23

  Malik exited Noble Gallery after completing the second delivery of the day. Lucky for him, they’d wanted the tree sculpture, the piece that started him on this road in the first place. Now he was ready to go home to Lindsay.

  He stepped into the sunshine and saw a brown-skinned, clean-cut brother wearing khakis and a dress shirt coming toward him. He immediately recognized the face.

  Malik planned to walk right by Shawn, but the other man spoke.

  “Hi.” Shawn laughed a little awkwardly and extended his hand.

  Malik stifled his immediate aversion to the man who’d broken Lindsay’s heart and grabbed her the night of the podcast reception. He shook his hand, intending to keep their interaction short. “Hey.”

  “We got off to a rough start. I don’t want you to think I’m like that on a regular basis.”

  Malik shrugged. “Whatever, man.”

  “Lindsay’s a great woman,” Shawn said.

  “Yes, she is,” Malik agreed. Lucky for me, you didn’t realize what you had.

  “She seems happier, and I’m happy for her. Things didn’t work out for us because of her past, you know?”

  Malik folded his hands over his chest. “What about her past?” he asked.

  “You know, that stuff about her dad…” Shawn shrugged. “That kind of stuff makes a great story of overcoming, and I hope she tells it one day. I think it’s the kind of thing that could make her success even more interesting—more compelling.”

  Malik chuckled, pissed because this was the fool who’d hurt Lindsay, and the baggage she carried because of him almost caused an end to their relationship.

  “I wasn’t going to say anything, but she told me about you. You know what I hate about men like you? Men like you make it harder for men like me. You can’t blame Lindsay for what her father did. She shouldn’t have to carry the burden of his mistakes on her back. I can empathize with her pain because I lost a parent, too. Instead of giving her understanding, for some reason you stood in judgment of her.”

  As far as he was concerned, Lindsay had suffered enough. Not only because of her father’s death, but because her mother had chosen not to love her the way that she deserved. He never forgot her face when she talked about her mother’s favoritism toward her sister, Nina. All the more reason to show her that she was unique and special to someone—namely, him.

  Shawn threw up his hands in surrender. “I completely agree with you that she shouldn’t have to bear the repercussions of his actions. But his background was hard for me to overlook.”

  “Is that why you cheated on her?” Malik asked.

  Shawn winced. “I’m not proud of that, but once I found out about her past, I couldn’t continue the relationship.”

  “Quit the bullshit. You were cheating on her long before you found out about her past. I know the whole story. You got Melanie pregnant before you ended your relationship with Lindsay.”

  Shawn winced again. “You’re right. I was wrong, and maybe I was wrong for judging her based on her father’s actions. It’s not her fault he broke the law.”

  “What are you talking about?” He was really starting to hate this guy. “Her father killed himself and had some bad business deals. I’d hardly call that criminal.”

  “You know as well as I do that’s not all he did.” The statement sounded more like a question, and Shawn lifted one eyebrow in inquiry.

  Malik considered ending the conversation because he suspected what he was about to learn would not be good. But at this point, he couldn’t walk away. Shawn clearly had information—information he wanted to hear.

  “Again, what are you talking about?” Malik asked with less belligerence than before.

  Shawn’s demeanor changed, and he seemed to relish the next words, speaking in a gossipy tone when he said, “From what I understand, he siphoned millions from unsuspecting victims in various scams over the years. He’d been to jail several times but never seemed to learn his lesson. The thing is, the last company he ran, Steele Investments, could have been successful—”

  “What did you just say?” The air around them contracted, and the sun’s heat increased in intensity. Malik focused all his attention on the words coming out of Shawn’s mouth.

  “I said he could have been successful—”

  “Before that. The name of the company.” His body went still as he waited.

  “Steele Investments?”

  Malik swallowed. “Yes. Lindsay never mentioned the name to me before, but it’s vaguely familiar.” His upper lip started beating erratically, and he smoothed a hand across his mouth and beard to calm the reaction.
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  “That’s the company Lindsay’s father, Abe Steele, started. As I understand it, he got a whole bunch of people to invest in bogus stocks with suspiciously high returns on investment. The thing that people don’t understand about investing is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Proceed with caution.” He shrugged. “The poor schmucks invested their money, and several of them were elderly and lost all their life savings. There were a ton of lawsuits, and Abe was facing serious jail time. He saw death as the easy way out.”

  They weren’t all elderly, Malik thought, thinking of his mother on the cusp of forty with her whole life ahead of her.

  “There must be some mistake,” he said. “Lindsay’s last name is Winthrop.” He was grasping at straws but had to eliminate every possibility that Lindsay and her family were tied in any way to his mother’s death.

  “You’re her fiancé and you don’t know any of this?” Shawn’s face transformed into not-so-subtle delight that the information he shared was all news to Malik. “Sure, Winthrop is her last name, now. When her mother married into the Winthrop family, Lindsay was only five years old. They moved away from the scandal in Kansas, and her mother changed her name to match her new husband’s name. Winthrop. Originally, Lindsay’s last name was Steele.”

  “And you know all this how?” His throat was closing, tightening, and cutting off his air supply so that it was difficult to speak. But he had to ask this question. He had to know more.

  “Lindsay told me,” Shawn said quietly.

  Malik was done. He headed toward his truck.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Shawn called.

  Malik didn’t stop moving. Shawn didn’t care about him. He could hear the glee in the other man’s voice. But Malik, he had to see Lindsay and find out if what Shawn had said was true. But deep in his gut, he knew that it was.

  The question was, did Lindsay know about their past connection?

  He was about to find out.

  All he had to do was ask.

  Malik heard the TV playing in the bedroom and walked to the door. Lindsay was on the bed, stroking Daisy’s head beside her. Those two had become very close.

  “Uh-oh, Daisy, we’ve been busted.”

  The dog, obviously knowing she had no business being there, hopped onto the floor and sheepishly trotted over, head low, tail wagging. He petted her before returning his attention to Lindsay.

  She drew her knees up to her chest and studied him with a frown. “What’s wrong? You look like you just got the worst news possible. Did something fall through with your sculptures?”

  He stuffed his hands in his pockets and kept his gaze on her. “No, nothing like that.”

  She really was beautiful. Even more so now that she’d grown comfortable being natural around him. Except for the first night they made love, when he showed up at her house unannounced, she used to never let him see her without makeup and wore only the best clothes around him. Right now, her hair was nothing special, simply brushed straight with a side part. She was wearing a plain white T-shirt and a pair of women’s boxers. Her hazel eyes looked at him with such lack of guile, he didn’t feel right questioning her about what he’d learned from Shawn.

  And maybe, just maybe, part of him worried that she’d known all along and kept the truth from him. All Malik had to do was ask, and she would tell him that she didn’t know about their parents’ connection. Then everything would be okay again. But he was hard-pressed to form the question. Worried, knowing the answer she gave could negatively affect the already fragile relationship they’d recently reconciled.

  “I have a question to ask, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

  “Of course I’ll tell you the truth.” She laughed softly, her throaty radio voice at the perfect pitch to remind him of all the nights they’d spent in each other’s arms and of how important she was to him. How much he looked forward to hearing that voice first thing in the morning—all husky and warm. How sometimes he listened to her podcast, though he had no interest in relationship advice. He simply liked to hear her talk.

  “Was your name changed from Steele to Winthrop when you were five years old?”

  The amused expression evaporated on her face. “Yes.”

  That’s when he knew she had known all along and kept her past from him. Not because she answered yes to that question. It was because of how she answered—in a tentative voice, her face taking on an expression of supreme panic.

  “Did you know my mother had invested in your father’s company, and that’s why she had no money left for her medical bills?” Come on, Lindsay. Tell me that I’m wrong. Tell me that I’m paranoid and what I believe is completely incorrect.

  “Malik…” she whispered in a broken breath.

  He gritted his teeth. “Tell me you didn’t know. Tell me you didn’t keep something so important from me. The man you say you love.” His upper lip jerked erratically.

  “How did you even hear about this?”

  “I ran into your ex, Shawn. He struck up a conversation and inadvertently shared the truth. He didn’t know I didn’t know.”

  “What did you say?” she asked.

  “What did I say? The motherfucker blindsided me, Lindsay. I didn’t say much, but he figured out I didn’t know about your past and took pleasure in giving me the details. How could you keep something like that from me?”

  He slammed the side of his fist against the wall, and she jumped.

  Daisy whimpered, looking from one to the other.

  Lindsay slipped from the bed. “Malik, I can explain. If you’ll let me explain.”

  “You lied to me!”

  “I didn’t—”

  “Don’t you dare say you didn’t lie.”

  Her eyes pleaded with him to understand, but he couldn’t.

  “Goddammit, Lindsay. Why’d you have to fuck shit up like this?”

  She shook her head, biting down on her lip, fighting to hold back the tears that sprang to her eyes. “Because that’s what I do. I fuck shit up.”

  Neither of them said a word for a long time. Malik’s brain had become frozen. Numb. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t function.

  “How can I fix this?” Lindsay asked quietly.

  “I don’t know that you can.”

  “I was going to tell you. I just needed to find the right words.”

  “Well now you don’t have to worry about finding the right words, because I already know.”

  “What does this mean for us?”

  “Honestly, Lindsay, I can’t do this right now. I need to be alone. To think.” He walked out of the room.

  “Where are you going?”

  He heard her footsteps behind him, but he didn’t stop. He needed to go somewhere and get his head clear.

  “Malik!”

  She called his name one last time before he hopped in the truck. He started the engine and drove away, not sure where he was going, but knowing he couldn’t stay there any longer.

  Lindsay’s head popped up. She thought she’d heard Malik’s truck, but that had been her imagination. No lights swept the window. Probably a vehicle passing by on the road.

  She returned to her previous position, curled on Malik’s side of the bed, head resting on his pillow. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, and rather than swipe them away, she buried her face in the pillow, crying her eyes out some more.

  She’d wanted to continue on her winning streak. She’d wanted true love to happen to her. It sure as heck happened to her listeners, and she helped them navigate their love lives and come out on top—with happier, healthier relationships that she’d had a small part in nurturing. She was proud of her work. She was valuable because of it.

  Malik changed her mindset and made her feel valuable just because of who she was. She hadn’t wanted to lose this good man who’d come into her life. But she’d screwed up in a major way.

  She was certain that this time she’d lost Malik for good.

  Chapter 24

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nbsp; At the back of his workshop, Malik tossed down the forging tools and threw off his welding helmet. He stood and kicked the metal table he’d been working on. He couldn’t concentrate. All he could think about was Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay.

  Nothing he touched came out right. The piece he was working on looked like a hot mess, and he was even grumpier than when he entered the workshop hours earlier. Halfway through the day, and he’d done little more than tinker. This was why he’d been celibate for three years. Women messed with your head.

  He walked toward the front of the barn and kicked the bench there, knocking half-finished pieces onto the floor with a loud clatter. Daisy trotted from her spot in the grass to the open door and peered in, tilting her head to side, silently questioning him.

  “I’m okay, girl. Just blowing off steam.” He ambled over and rubbed the dog behind her ears, staring out at the yard with unseeing eyes.

  He hadn’t been able to think straight since he left Lindsay alone a few days ago. He missed the sound of her voice, and he missed her in his bed. He missed her warm body and the way her long legs wrapped around his thighs. He should call her, but what would he say?

  He heard a car pull up in the yard, and he and Daisy went around to the front of the house to investigate. Stephan exited a red sports car from the driver side and Reese from the passenger side.

  “New toy?” Malik asked.

  “Yeah. What do you think?” Stephan ran a hand over the glossy hood.

  “Nice.”

  Reese sat on the hood and folded his arms.

  Malik sighed. He knew they weren’t there to show off Stephan’s new car. Lindsay must have told Stephan what happened. “Whatever the reason you’re here, you’re both wasting your time.”

  “Will you at least hear us out?” Reese asked.

  “Before I hear you out, will you answer me one question?”

  “Of course.”

  “Did either of you know about her past? Did you know her father was the one who caused my mother’s death?”