To Refuse a Rake

by Kristin Vayden

  Emma put an honest effort into being amicable on the walk, but her thoughts were elsewhere. It was as if all the courting couples decided to take a walk and parade themselves. Seeing the tender expression on the gentlemen’s faces and the glowing adoration of the ladies overwhelmed Emma with emotion, especially as she was still so confused about her emerging feelings. Glancing over at Hudson, she saw him watching her with a curious expression. She offered him a slight smile and turned her attention to the Serpentine.

  As they headed back to the Kingsly townhome, Sadie slowed her pace until she lagged behind, leaving Emma side by side with Hudson. Emma shot her sister an accusing expression, but Sadie ignored her and paused to study a pot of boxwoods.

  “Remind me to thank your sister later.” Hudson spoke gently.

  “For what?” Emma glanced up into his warm chocolate eyes.

  “Her astute skills of observation,” Hudson said with a grin.

  “Skills of observation?” Emma was not fooled.

  “Even now she is… observing the boxwoods once again, allowing me to have you all to myself yet still follow the rules of propriety. Marvelous, don’t you agree?” Hudson smiled down at her.

  “Of course! I wouldn’t imagine disagreeing with you, my lord.” Emma raised an eyebrow and turned her gaze forward.

  “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words. Would you please repeat them? Just so I can more fully commit them to memo—”

  “Lovely day, is it not?” she asked breezily and gestured to the then glowing blue sky.

  When Hudson didn’t answer she risked a glance toward him and his chocolate eyes twinkling with carefully restrained mirth. Immediately she remembered her skeptical response when he said the very same thing.

  “That is, it has turned into a lovely afternoon,” Emma corrected, her face heating.

  “Yes, yes. I wouldn’t imagine disagreeing with you,” Hudson replied through a smirk.

  “You are insufferable!” Emma halted her progress and placed her hands on her hips, gazing up into Hudson’s face.

  “And you are unable to admit that you find my company appealing,” Hudson replied calmly.

  “Of course I could admit it, if such a statement were true!”

  “Indeed it is true, Miss Kingsly. Your tongue may be sharp, but your eyes are soft and betray what lies in your heart.” Hudson took a small step forward, invading her personal space with his spicy scent. Immediately her mind carried her to the balcony where they had kissed. Unable to stop herself, she closed her eyes and inhaled, committing the spicy fragrance to memory once more. Immediately, her mind tried to recall all the reasons she should never risk her heart, all the reasons she could never fall in love. Yet, when Hudson was standing so close she could hardly rely on any of her convictions. All her heart wanted to do was run away and into his arms.

  “I can’t,” she whispered, opening up her eyes and finding Hudson’s gaze studying her with a gentle intensity.

  Hudson pulled her gently into a semi-covered alley-way and she glanced over her shoulder to see Sadie standing close by enough for propriety, but far enough to offer privacy.

  “You can’t because you are convinced that as soon as you admit that your heart is not as closed off as you would like to believe, you’ll become fragile and all your self worth will rely on someone else. You’re afraid that as soon as you open your heart, it will be betrayed and not regarded as the precious gift that it is. But that is not love. All of the ideas you have twisting your beautiful mind into a thousand knots are not true of love.” He reached up and gently touched the side of her face, trailing a single finger down her cheek. “Love doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong. Love doesn’t take, love gives. Love will serve the other before thinking of itself and love is always worth the risk it could cost because in the end, it’s all that truly matters.”

  Hudson’s eyes were penetrating as if searching her soul. How could he have possibly known what was in her heart? But more importantly, could he be right? And what about Sadie? Her sister had been all of those things, yet she had been betrayed not once, but twice by men who claimed to love her. Emma began to shake her head.

  “You are forgetting one thing, my lord,” Emma whispered, not trusting herself to look up into Hudson’s eyes. “How does one know that her heart is safe in another’s keeping? Someone could indeed have all those beautiful traits you spoke of, yet where does that leave a person when the one responsible for returning those blessings fails and betrays them? Is it worth the risk then?” Emma cast a furtive glance up to Hudson’s furrowed brow and into his searching eyes.

  “That would be called faith.” Hudson tilted his head forward, as if willing for her to agree.

  “No.” Emma shook her head. “That would be called a fool.” She could feel the longing rise and blossom within her, knowing her heart was evident in her eyes as she gazed into Hudson’s deep brown eyes. With a sorrowful sigh, she turned and walked away.

  Without waiting for Sadie or Hudson, Emma walked home as quickly as possible before she became exactly what she just reproved. A fool.

  Chapter Eight

  Hudson stared at his ceiling. He rolled onto his right side and kicked at the covers as he strove to find a comfortable position. But his bed seemed full of lumps and knots that were as restless as he. To make matters worse, each time he closed his eyes, Emma’s tormented expression would pierce him with her stormy sea gaze. Truly, if the woman wasn’t keeping him awake in a fit of unfulfilled desire, then she was keeping him awake with her hopeless convictions. Was there ever such a mess?

  Again he closed his eyes only to find her gaze haunting him once again. He had been so impressed with his own speech on love, his own convictions so true he hadn’t once doubted that Emma would see it as legitimate. How was he ever to win her heart, her surrendered affections, if she couldn’t even take the first step toward love? Hudson blew out a frustrated breath. It was time for desperate measures… but this would be no regular seduction. Oh, he had seduced his fair share of the delicate sex earlier, even before India, but never had there been any risk. He wouldn’t trap Emma into marriage. No, she’d likely kill him while he slept for trying such a thing!

  But could he seduce her body and have her heart follow? He was certain that her body had very separate convictions than did her mind, but to exploit that? Hudson wasn’t sure. There had to be a way through the walls she had built up. He thought back over his original plan — to prove her wrong by example. Yet how did one prove another inaccurate on their ideas of love when they wouldn’t even take the slightest risk to find out?

  The grandest opportunity would be at Lady Linden’s house party. He had to think of a plan. Words wouldn’t work; she needed to see action. Yet what possible overture could he perform to prove his affection? Hudson chuckled to himself. How had it come to this? Not a few months before he had been completely content in India, and without a single thought of matrimony. When he’d arrived home and his mother had mentioned the idea, it seemed preposterous. Now he could scarcely think of anything else. Truly, love was exceedingly complicated! No wonder men swore themselves to bachelorhood!

  Hudson ran his fingers down his face. The only answer he could think of was time. Emma needed time to see that his affections weren’t going to change or shift to another lady. She needed to witness his pursuit with consistency, yet patience was the least of all Hudson’s strengths.

  Confused and frustrated, he decided he needed help. Tomorrow he would visit Hewett and hopefully coax Lady Hewett to participate in the conversation. He needed to extend the invitations to Lady Linden’s party anyway, and this would provide the perfect opportunity to seek aid. Had it really come to this? Asking for help in pursuit of a woman! Yes, Hudson admitted to himself. Because he would go to any length to win what he desired most. Emma’s heart.

  Just at the edge of being too early, Hudson knocked on the Hewett residence on Mayfair. The butler answered and eyed him curiously befor
e taking his card and asking for him to wait. Hudson tapped his toe impatiently and glanced about at the vacant streets. Surely it wasn’t too early, was it? After the fitful night he had experienced, he was in anything but an amicable mood.

  “Lord Daventry, please allow me to show you to the gray parlor.” The butler opened the door wide and escorted him to the entrance of a very colorless room. Hudson glanced about and felt the room was the perfect reflection of his mood. With a nod he sat on a settee and waited.

  Hewett arrived with a robust entrance and large smile. “Daventry! You’re awake early! I almost thought something was amiss!”

  “No, no. Nothing to concern yourself over. I do, however, bear a gift for you and your wife. Would she by chance be available to speak with as well?” Hudson held his breath, hoping he would say yes.

  “Of course, give me just a moment.” Hewett stepped outside to summon his wife who arrived moments later. He rubbed his hands together as he strode toward the chair opposite of Hudson. “I also ordered tea. So tell me, how is your pursuit of the lovely Miss Kingsly going? I tell you, I’m terribly thankful I withdrew my bet! I would have lost for sure. All the gentlemen are beginning to question if you’ll actually melt her heart. I say that in the kindest way, of course.” Hewett cleared his throat.

  “Of course you do.” Lady Hewett entered with a raised eyebrow, spearing her husband with a warning glare.

  “Ah, Lady Hewett, a pleasure to see you.” Hudson stood and greeted her.

  “And you as well, Lord Daventry.” Lady Hewett sat across from her husband. “Please tell me I’m not here to discuss your wagers at White’s, or…” She glanced at her husband. “Lack there of.”

  “Of course not. It is my dearest hope that you two will accept these invitations to Lady Linden’s house party.” Hudson reached in his coat and withdrew the prized paper. Lady Hewett’s eyes widened and she glanced to her husband. Hewett arched an eyebrow and shook his head.

  “I heard about a commotion at the card party a few days ago. I didn’t know it was you who caused it!” Hewett chuckled and took the parchment from Hudson’s grasp.

  “How delightful! We accept, Lord Daventry! Truly this is a grand surprise!” Lady Hewett gushed as she reached over and snatched an invitation from her husband’s hand. Hewett grinned indulgently at his wife’s impatience.

  “I must say I’m surprised you didn’t extend the invitations to Miss Kingsly and her sister Lady Hodge.” Hewett narrowed his eyes and leaned back.

  “I have. I was blessed with an additional five invitations from winning Lady Linden’s game at the card party.”

  “Ahh…” Hewett continued to study Hudson. “My instincts tell me there is a catch somewhere.” Hewett folded his arms and leaned back.

  “No catch. But I would sincerely appreciate some… assistance.”

  “I knew it!” Hewett leapt from his chair. “What a grand day! The great rake himself.” Hewett turned towards his wife. “Before he left for India, he was easily the envy of all us. It seemed no woman would reject his ‘chocolate’ gaze as all the ladies tended to call it. Made us have quite the fit of indigestion to hear him speak of it.” Hewett turned back toward Hudson, gloating. “And what happens? You come back from India and a self-proclaimed spinster brings you to your knees! Who would have thought that of the two of us, you’d be coming to me! Ah ha! This is a grand, grand day!” Hewett grinned wildly.

  “Are you quite finished reveling in my misfortune?” Hudson leaned back on the settee, not at all amused.

  “Not entirely, but for your sake I’ll pause.” Hewett sat back down but leaned forward with a triumphant expression.

  “Your gleeful expression is almost worse than your gloating tirade.” Hudson closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He glanced back to Lady Hewett. She was regarding him steadily as if determining his worthiness.

  “I must say that this conversation has certainly piqued my interest. Lord Daventry, if I’m to assist you in winning my friend’s affections I must be certain of your intentions.” Lady Hewett watched him carefully, studying him with her deep blue eyes.

  “My intentions are honorable in the utmost. My desire is to win her heart and gain her acceptance to become my wife. I want her, only her, and am willing to completely humiliate myself…” Hudson shot a glare to where Hewett sat, still grinning like a fool. “…in order to succeed. I realize the difficulty of the challenge and remain undeterred. I want her and her alone.”

  “Well said, Lord Daventry.” Lady Hewett turned to her husband. “Perhaps you should listen as well, dear. That was quite romantic.”

  “I’m romantic!” Hewett sat up.

  “Of course you are, dear.” Lady Hewett patted her husband’s hand.

  Hudson found himself barely holding back a chuckle at his friend’s expense.

  “Thank you, Lady Hewett. Can you offer any insight?” Hudson turned back to Lady Hewett and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and giving her full attention.

  “How much do you know about Lady Hodge and her… marriage?” Lady Hewett waited.

  “I believe I’m aware of most everything. I spoke with my mother and she explained the situation, including my brother’s involvement.”

  “I see. Then you are aware that the scandal surrounding Lady Hodge is what triggered Emma’s adamant refusal to marry?

  “Yes. I’ve actually even spoken to Miss Kingsly herself on the matter.”

  “Oh?” Lady Hewett’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Quite the bold move, Lord Daventry. And what did she say?”

  Hudson articulated their conversation and hoped he wasn’t giving out too much information. But he knew that from a young age Lady Hewett and Miss Kingsly had been dear friends. Surely she was a respectable confidante.

  “It was as I assumed from my own conversations with her. I cannot tell you, Lord Daventry, how much it saddens me to see my friend reject the idea of love. I may tease my husband, but truly I wouldn’t care to face life without him.” Lady Hewett turned toward her husband with a gentle smile. “Sadly, Emma — Miss Kingsly — has never been exposed to this type of relationship, only its opposite. Though her parents were said to be a love match, her father’s early death and mother’s vow to never remarry left that key window into love, vacant. Then when everything happened with her sister…”

  “Yes, I understand, Lady Hewett. What I need to know is how I can, for lack of a better way of saying it, prove her assumptions on love to be false?”

  “Lord Daventry, I believe that actions always speak louder than words.”

  “I agree.” Hewett chimed in, turning an intense gaze to his friend.

  “I have an idea… and Lady Linden’s party will provide the perfect opportunity, provided she accepted your invitation?” Lady Hewett lowered her chin, waiting for confirmation.

  “Yes, indeed she did.”

  “Perfect. Here’s my idea…”

  Chapter Nine

  As the weekend of Lady Linden’s house party approached, Emma began to reconsider her acceptance of Lord Daventry’s invitation. It had been over a week since their last intimate conversation in which she had called anyone who fell in love a fool. Did she truly believe that? She was growing more and more unsure. Especially since Hudson hadn’t called on her, but had rather taken to sending her letters. Love letters.

  The first missive had arrived the evening after their tense conversation. Emma had been quite nervous to open it. Inside only a few lines had been scrawled across the page, but they were delivered with a powerful declaration.

  Thank you for a lovely walk. Your presence livens the very air.—A fool.

  So much had been conveyed in that simple note. For him to close his missive with the very condemnation she had spoken of was truly humbling. What was it like to be so fearless? How could Hudson not be afraid of her rejection? Certainly she had implied it repeatedly, yet he persisted with little encouragement. Surely any other suitor would have turned to an easier target
by now.

  A new missive had arrived each day. In it he articulated a trait he admired about her and then why. And always signing it – A fool. By now Emma was miserable. Her newly reinforced convictions of a week ago were weaker than ever. After all, Hudson had clearly made it known that he was willing to take a risk and be a fool, in her words. Truly he was convinced that she was worth the risk! But, why? What possible motivation could he have? Or was love truly that compelling?

  She resolved to find out. If Hudson could willingly call himself a fool, knowing full well that his chances of rejection were high, then she would test the waters. If she were right in her convictions, this would surely solidify them beyond any sort of temptation, but if she were wrong… then maybe it would be worth the risk.

  The morning of Lady Linden’s house party, Emma paced incessantly across the parlor floor as she waited for the carriage to be prepared.

  “You’re about to wear a hole through the carpet, you know.” Sadie spoke with a snicker as she walked into the parlor with light and excited steps.

  “I doubt it,” Emma retorted but stopped her pacing.

  “Why are you so nervous? It’s not as if this is the only house party we’ve attended,” Sadie said as she sat on the settee and began to smooth her skirt.

  “No, but Lord Daventry will be there and—”

  “And you’re afraid he’ll seduce you? Or afraid he won’t?” Sadie asked with a wicked tilt of her lips.

  “Sadie! “ Emma shouted and placed her hands on her hips in a scolding fashion. “Of all the things to say!” Emma tried to keep a straight face but her lips tilted into a grin at her sister’s unrepentant smile.