by Eric Vall
“Oh, you saw it on the internet,” I scoffed. “It must be true.”
“It is true, Jacob,” Invidia stepped in. “Martatelli’s children must have escaped with his work or something, because his notes are still available in all their glory. And if you still don’t believe us, then we could always, I dunno, ask him himself or something.”
“You think Martatelli is down here, in the Fourth Circle?” I questioned.
“Not in the Fourth,” Superbia spoke up. “If he was truly an enemy of the Church, Angelo Martatelli would be confined to the Fifth Circle, the one that’s reserved for Anger.”
“Whoaaaaa there, Sister,” Libidine reminded her. “Do we really think it’s wise to go into Baphomet’s territory? We know for a fact he’s allied himself with Beelzebub.”
“We’d get to meet Baphomet?” Invidia perked up as a hint of rare emotion filled her voice. “That would be badass.”
“You think it’d be ‘badass’ to meet the King of the Fifth Circle, the man who’d love to have us all strung up by our own intestines?” Sia scolded the gothic succubus.
Vidia just stared off into the distance with a wide smile on her face.
“It’s just that, I’m a huge fan,” she explained. “Do you know how many album covers and T-shirts I own with his image on it?”
“Riiiight,” I mused as I weighed our options.
We really didn’t have any other choice. Invidia, Todd, and Sia were all convinced this Martatelli guy was our ticket to interdimensional travel, and he was trapped in the Fifth Circle. If we ever wanted to get back to Earth, we’d need his expertise. And if we wanted his expertise, we’d have to break him out of whatever eternal punishment Baphomet was putting him through.
If that meant leaving my kingdom and risking our lives, then so be it.
“Saddle up, everybody,” I announced to my friends. “We’re going to the Fifth Circle.”
Chapter 10
I may have transversed four different Circles of Hell and battled demon after countless demon to get where I was today, but even I was a little nervous to venture into the Fifth Circle.
This was Baphomet’s domain. Another powerful Demon King who was close with our new enemy, Beelzebub. I didn’t know much about the fucker other than what Todd and Invidia told me, and even that was mostly just info they’d learned from Earth’s pop culture.
This was completely new territory. Dangerous new territory. And we were about to dive in head-first.
Unfortunately, the dinghy we’d been given by Charon was only big enough to hold five or six of us at a time, so I had to be selective on who I took with me.
Libidine, Cupi, and Sia all stayed behind to continue their training with the Shades.
Tris stayed back, as well, but mostly because she was “tired” and wanted to “chillax on the couch for a bit.”
Gula had come along, mostly for her pure strength. If we got into a jam, I wanted my heaviest hitter there to back me up.
I’d debated between bringing Ira or Sia so we’d have healing powers on our team, and ultimately I ended up going with the Sister of Wrath. She claimed there was a lot of water in the Fifth Circle and that if any of us needed to go swimming, she could easily hold her breath the longest.
I didn’t ask, and I didn’t want to know.
That just left me one more spot, and I picked my most beautiful succubi to come with us.
“I can’t wait to get into the Fifth Circle,” Invidia grumbled. “I totally wasn’t enjoying sitting around in my room for hours on end, listening to music, and practicing my smokey eye makeup.”
“You’re welcome,” I mused happily. “See? Superbia told me you were yearning for an adventure.”
Vidia rolled her eyes at me and sighed. “That was sarcasm,” she noted. “Geez.”
“Yeah, Jakey, geez,” Todd snickered. “Is your ‘angst’ filter broken today?”
With Todd on the boat, it was a tight fit, but thankfully he was small enough that the rest of us still had plenty of leg space.
I’d debated not bringing the imp along on this mission, but the seemingly endless knowledge he had about the paranormal, and Martatelli in general, made him invaluable.
Not to mention, I really didn’t want to leave a bored Todd in the castle completely unsupervised.
We were now at a part of the River of Souls that teetered on the edge of our border. Before us sat a large cave of brimstone whose interior was so pitch-black not even a single beam of light seemed to pierce through it. The chasm was carved into the side of a gargantuan mountain that made up the range that existed on the outskirts of the Fourth Circle.
“There it is,” Ira motioned to the large opening in the rocky formation, “the entrance to the Fifth Circle.”
“I wonder if this one’s gonna be a bumpy ride,” I sighed. “Why is it every single portal we’ve gone through in Hell is either in a cave or over a waterfall?”
“Lucifer is a lot of things, Jacob,” Ira said with a shrug. “A clever architect is not one of them.”
“Okay, so we all know the plan, right?” I reiterated rhetorically. “Once we’re in, we need to be on the lookout for Martatelli and any sort of dangers the Circle might pose. Sia mentioned this is the place where angry souls are sent, so I’d imagine there’s gonna be a bunch of shit in there that’ll try to kill us. We find Martatelli, bring him back to our castle, and then see if he has any information on how to get us back to Earth Realm.”
“The Fifth Circle is huge,” Invidia protested. “How are we going to find one single guy in a literal sea of Shades?”
“I’ll take this one, Jakey,” Todd offered. “In the Fifth Circle, everyone gets placed together with people who were killed in a similar way. So if you died in a car crash, you’re put in an area with other people who died in car crashes. If you autoerotically asphyxiated yourself to death, you’ll be put together with people who died choking two necks, too. Making sense so far?”
“So far,” she groaned.
“Good!” Todd continued. “So, we just need to find the part of the Fifth Circle that houses people broken at the wheel, and then we find Martatelli.”
“Weren’t there a lot of people broken on the wheel back in the day or whatever?” the gothic succubus questioned.
“Sure there were, Elvira,” the imp continued, “but compared to something like a heart attack or beheading, it’s actually a really, really small number.”
“It’s not perfect,” I admitted, “but it’s the best we have right now.”
“Let’s get a move on it, then,” Gula interjected. “The quicker we get in there and get out, the sooner you can see all our friends again.”
I twisted in my seat at the front of the boat, took a deep breath as I summoned purple flames into my hand, and then pointed in the direction of the cave.
The tiny boat was instantly encased with the violet fire, and then it slowly began to lurch forward into the cave. Within seconds, the five of us were completely surrounded by darkness as the sounds of the river echoed off the cave walls. As we traveled through the hollow rock, the water seemed to grow more intense underneath our boat, and I felt us pick up speed.
“There is no earthly way of knowwwing, which direction we are gooooing … ” Todd snickered through the darkness.
“Shhh!” I hissed as I called forth red Hellfire into my hand.
I extended my arm out in front of the boat as the light cut through the darkness like a knife. Sure enough, my worst fears were confirmed.
Up ahead, the River of Souls turned to rapids.
“Everybody hang on!” I commanded and gripped the sides of the boat as tightly as I could.
The next few seconds were a total whirlwind. The dinghy began to rock violently, and then I felt the entire thing begin to spin around like a top. Even though the flame in my hand still emitted a vibrant glow, we were spinning far too fast for me to make out anything that was going by.
The succubi and Todd were all screa
ming in terror as we held on for dear life and hoped that the rapids would show us some mercy.
Somewhere along the rotation, I saw the flash of a faint, green light.
The portal.
“W-we’re almost th-there, guys!” I called out. “Just h-hang on for a little l-l-longer!”
I slammed my eyes shut and prayed to the Exalted One we wouldn’t end up as a handful of blood smears on the side of this cave. That our bodies weren’t going to be mangled as we were tossed like ragdolls from jagged rock to jagged rock and prayed for death.
The sound of the roaring rapids grew louder, but so did the enchanted sound of the portal that would take us to our destination. Then, just as quickly as the rapids had appeared, there was silence, and our boat went still.
I opened up my eyes and saw we were now in a large swamp-like environment.
There were massive trees sticking out of the water that looked like they were torn straight out of a bayou, but there was something about them that just felt off. Instead of having vibrant green vines or mossy bark, they were gray and decrepit, with dying vines that hung down into the water like a cascade of death.
Also missing was the Earthy mulch smell that usually accompanied swamps, replaced by the putrid stench of pure sulfur. I’d grown somewhat used to the scent since I’d been in Hell, but this odor was so strong it felt like the hairs inside of my nose were burning.
“Welcome to the Fifth Circle,” Ira sighed. “Let’s find Martatelli and get out of here. As much as I’d love a good flogging by some evil demons, I’ve got those nipple clamps waiting for me back at home.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I laughed awkwardly, and then I pointed the ship east.
Our dinghy cut through the eerily silent swamp as we tried to pin down the location of the Renaissance scientist. This whole place reeked of sulfur and death, but what really got to me was the things actually in the water.
The Shades.
Just beneath the surface of the swamp laid each and every one of the Shades who had been sentenced to eternal damnation in this Circle, each one reliving the way they died over and over again.
There were Shades who were laying alone in hospital beds, loneliness and despair in their expression. Then there was a large group who wore nooses around their necks as they struggled for breath and their faces turned blue, only for the entire process to start over again. They looked exactly as they looked in real life, with one slight difference.
Each one had a shimmer around them as if they were ghosts or a sort of watery hologram.
“This is … something else,” I gasped as I watched a Shade get run over by a semi truck. “This is definitely more what I think of when I think of Hell.”
“Luckily for us, the first few Circles are the most tame,” Gula explained. “I mean, they’re still riddled with eternal torture, but at least it’s not this sadistic.”
“Does that mean it gets worse the deeper we go?” I asked in shock.
Gula nodded her head somberly. “Let’s hope we never have to go that deep,” she sighed.
“Speak for yourself,” Ira spoke up. “I always begged Azazel to let me take a vacation to the Ninth Circle, but he never allowed it.”
“Uh, bro?” Todd exclaimed in a panic. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve got company!”
I followed the imp’s finger to the spot off in the distance where he pointed, and then fear filled my soul.
I couldn’t get a clear view of the bogey from this far out, but I could clearly see it was flying on two giant black, angel-like wings. The figure had on some sort of baggy pants that fluttered in the wind, and his head was a different color than his body. Most damning, however, were the large, longhorn-like appendages that were jutting out of his head.
“Holyshitholyshitholyshit!” Invidia giggled. “It’s Baphomet!”
“Son of a bitch!” I hissed. “We need to hide. Now!”
“Hide?” Ira scoffed. “We killed Azazel. Surely Baphomet can’t be any more--”
“We killed Azazel with the help of all six of your Sisters, plus Eligor, plus a small army,” I shot back. “We won’t stand a chance with just the five of us.”
I had to think fast. I knew we couldn’t survive a one-on-one battle with another Demon King, at least not while we were sitting ducks in a dinghy. There was only one thing I could think of.
“Todd,” I demanded, “can you turn us invisible?”
“Wh-what?” the imp stammered and pointed to his chest. “I’ve only done it to myself, bro.”
“I know that,” I continued in a panic, “but you also always turn the shit you’re carrying invisible, right? I just need you to do that on a much larger scale.”
“I-I don’t know, bro,” the imp nearly whimpered. “I don’t--”
“Todd, if you don’t do this, we’re all dead!” I whispered in frustration.
The imp’s eyes went wide, and then he stuck out both of his hands for us to take.
“Make a hand circle, dudes and dudettes,” he explained. “No homo.”
I snatched Todd’s tiny red hand with my own and Ira’s with the other.
Ira grabbed Invidia, who grabbed Gula, who grabbed Todd.
Then the imp closed his eyes and started to make a grunting sound as he tried to summon his powers.
“Klaatu … barada … necktie!” he growled, and his body began to tremble.
I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Baphomet was now only about two miles away.
If Todd’s magic wasn’t working, then he would have already seen us by now. And if that happened, we needed to be ready for the fight of our lives.
We all remained silent and watched in horror as the Demon King approached. The sound of his mighty wings filled the air of the Fifth Circle, rivaled only by the loud beating of my heart in my chest. I could now clearly see the goat-head that sat upon his shoulders and the strange way he pulled his hair back atop his noggin. Baphomet slowed into a glide and then fluttered over us without incident.
The five of us watched him turn into an ant in the distance, and then we all let out a sigh of relief.
“I’m guessing it worked?” I sighed and released Todd and Ira’s hands.
“Holy fuck, I think it did!” Todd exclaimed. “Not gonna lie, bro, I totally thought we were goners there for a minute.”
“There’s no trigger?” Ira questioned. “No indicator to you that you’ve gone invisible?”
Todd shrugged. “Not that I know of, Crazy Eyes,” he admitted. “It’s gotten me into a lot of trouble, actually. I’m pretty sure Paranormal Investigations had a whole episode about me based on the footage they got when I tried to sneak into that strip club for free … ”
“You were spotted in the mortal world?” Ira gasped. “Was anyone able to identify you?”
“I dunno,” the imp shot back, “how many little red imps do you know? Anyway, after all the crazy shit that happened in Phoenix after we moved there, I don’t think anyone paid it much mind.”
“I can’t believe how close that was,” I muttered as I clutched my chest and felt my still-throbbing heart. “Fighting Baphomet was not on my list of things to do today.”
“At least we’re safe for now,” Gula reassured, “but I would recommend one of us stays on the lookout, just in case he decides to come back.”
“Why the hell is he even out and about, anyway?” I grumbled. “Shouldn’t he be in his castle doing Demon King political bullshit?”
“Bro, you’re embarrassing me,” Todd sighed. “Baphomet is often called the ‘Reluctant King’ because he never really wanted it. He was just your standard Demon Lord slash succubus pimp until his King pissed him off one too many times.”
“Legion,” Ira added. “Legion used to be the King of the Fifth Circle before Baphomet’s outburst. I remember his death like it was yesterday, it sent major shockwaves through Hell when it happened.”
“Exactly,” Todd continued. “Just like Jakey here, none of the other D
emon Kings thought Baphomet would be a good ruler. They thought he was too ‘soft’ and ‘emotional’ to stack up against all the other Kings of Hell.”
“Yet here he is,” the Sister of Wrath clicked her tongue, “one of the most ruthless Demon Kings, and a person nobody wants to cross.”
“All the more reason to get out of his territory as soon as we possibly can,” I agreed. “Let’s go find Martatelli.”
We passed through another small gathering of Shades, the ones who had died from gunshot wounds. Blood trickled out of their wounds and floated up to the surface, so much so that the entire top layer of this sector was covered with a thin layer of crimson.
As I studied the faces of the dead, most of which were frozen in horrific expressions, my blood went cold.
There, in the murky red water, was a familiar face. It was one of the assassins we’d fought back in our first adventure, the ones who ambushed us on the road and tried to mow us down with enchanted bullets. We’d taken out his vehicle and wounded him, then left him on the side of the road to die.
Apparently, he finished the job himself with one of his magic bullets.
I leaned in closer to inspect the oddly-intriguing corpse as we floated by.
His eyes were wide, and the entire left half of his skull had been blown open. Bits of brain matter and gore floated to the surface of the water, but he remained steadfast in his frozen state.
Then he blinked.
The dead assassin lunged at me, and I just got up a purple barrier before he broke the surface of the water. Instead, he bounced off the enchanted shield, seized up once more, and floated back calmly into his original position.
“What the fuck was that?” I demanded.
“Bro, don’t make me Samwise your ass,” Todd explained. “I’m not getting swamp ass again just because you decided to take a dip with the Shades.”
“They might be stuck underneath the water,” Gula explained, “but they’re still former humans with emotions and memories. If they think you can get them out of here, they’re going to try and get you to help.”
