by Eric Vall
“Even if that means pulling you down and drowning you in the process,” Ira added.
“That one seemed a bit more aggressive, though,” Gula mused. “Almost like he was intentionally trying to kill you.”
“That’s because he was,” I agreed. “He’s one of the assassins we killed right after we escaped Vegas.”
“Holy shit, the one I stomped into a pulp when I took that pill that made me grow twenty feet tall?” Todd gasped. “Or was it the one I beheaded after I held aloft my magic sword and declared--”
“Neither,” I cut off the imp’s fake story. “It was the one we injured and then left for dead.”
“Huh,” Todd said as he scratched his head. “I don’t remember that one. Musta been taken care of by the sidekicks.”
“I hate to interrupt your storytime,” Vidia spoke up as she leaned over the side of the boat, “actually, no I don’t. But I see a bunch of iron maidens over here. That’s got to be close, right?”
I turned the boat so it headed over toward the sector Invidia was referring to and instantly knew we were on the right path.
All around us were Shades who had been killed by iron maidens, stretched to death by the rack, skewered by a heretic’s fork, or sawed in half by the giant-ass bonesaw. Even though I’d seen some awful shit in my time, the whole scene made me queasy.
Then I saw it. A whole section of wheels.
There was a Shade attached to each one, all in a different configuration of mangled flesh and broken bones.
“Bro, there he is!” Todd exclaimed.
I stared down into the abyss as I scanned for the scientist. There, at the very bottom of the swamp, sat a large wheel. Chained to it was a bulky man who wore a dark green stocking cap on his head, a pair of tights on his lower half, and a spotted cape around his neck. His right arm was twisted in a grisly manner, and his legs were both bent backward at the knee. Worst of all, his throat was covered with a dark purple bruise where his windpipe had been caved in.
“That’s Angelo Martatelli, alright,” Invidia whistled. “What a deliciously gory way to go.”
“Alright,” I announced as I recalled the purple Hellfire around the boat and slowed it to a halt. “I’m going in.”
I stood up in the boat, removed my breastplate, and placed it on the wooden bench beside me. Then I unsheathed the Unhallowed Sword so it wouldn’t weigh me down.
It was just going to be me, my dagger, and the debris-filled water.
And millions of Shades who may or may not want to kill me.
“You sure you still wanna do this, Jacob?” Gula asked with concern in her voice. “Ira said she can hold her breath the longest. Maybe she should go?”
“No,” I commanded. “I was the one who brought you here and put you all in danger. Besides, you’ll be able to make a quick getaway on your wings if anything catches us by surprise.”
“Just for the record, I offered,” Ira suggested as she crossed her arms over her chest.
The plan was simple. Dive down there, grab Martatelli, and get the fuck out of dodge. I would ask ‘what could possibly go wrong,’ but I knew better at this point.
“See you guys on the other side,” I joked.
Before any of my friends could protest further, I dove headfirst into the water with my hands in front of my head. I broke through the surface, and instantly my entire body went cold. I could feel the goosebumps as the chill ran through my very soul, but I pushed on.
I kicked my feet in small, rapid motions behind me as I used my arms to guide my descent. I tried to move as stealthily as I could to avoid the attention of the Shades, but I was forced to quicken my pace.
It’s not like I could hold my breath forever, after all.
I heard the water swish around me, and then I snapped my head around just in time to see a Shade reach out for my body. I thrust myself backward as his hand passed me by, and I got a good look at the poor guy.
This one’s neck was bent to the right, and his hand dangled off his wrist as he reached.
He began to scream in a language I didn’t know, the syllables reduced to bubbles and muffled sounds, but his eyes were stretched open with terror.
I tried to continue onward, but it was too late. Suddenly, every Shade within my immediate vicinity started to wail, and I felt them grabbing for my body. I tried to punch at the fuckers, but I couldn’t get enough momentum going to knock them away. Their hands grasped at every single inch of my body, and I began to panic as I felt the oxygen slowly draining from my lungs.
I let out a gasp of desperation, but I only took in a bit of the nasty water. I kicked and punched at the Shades, but it was no use. My lungs began to contract within my body, and I could feel myself losing oxygen fast.
If I didn’t do something quick, I was going to drown.
I felt the black Hellfire begin to spread across my body, but I had to do everything in my power to keep it from taking over. The one and only time I had ever let that happen, I ended up in some dark and twisted place I barely made it back from. So, I thought of calming thoughts and pushed my fear out of my body.
Then I summoned up green Hellfire into one hand and created a portal just underneath my body. I called forth red Hellfire into my other hand, but it sputtered and went out instantly.
The spasms in my chest became more rapid, and I knew I only had one more shot.
I reached up with my left hand and summoned red Hellfire with every ounce of strength I had left. A moment later, a huge blast of flames shot out of my open palm and forced my entire body downward.
The next thing I knew, I was passing through the emerald portal, and I reappeared in the sky, about fifty feet above the boat. I plummeted toward the dinghy like a lead balloon, but I quickly threw out a platform of purple Hellfire to break my fall.
I slammed into the glowing violet barrier, bounced off, and landed in the boat with a violent crash. I rolled over and coughed up what felt like a gallon of water as I tried to catch my breath. Then I collapsed onto the floor of the vessel and let out a deep sigh.
“Sooooo,” Todd asked coyly, “how’d it go?”
“How do you think,” I coughed back in frustration. “The fucking Shades swarmed me like a fucking school of pirhannas.”
“I could try--” Ira started, but then I cut her off.
“Even with your healing powers and amazing breath-holding abilities, they’re still going to stop you,” I mumbled. “And I don’t think any of our offensive attacks will work down there. My red Hellfire went out the second I tried to use it, and your acidic flames will just dissolve and hurt everyone.”
“Could I try and separate their souls?” Vidia asked sheepishly. “That could help clear a pathway for you.”
“I don’t think that would work,” I sighed. “They’re Shades. They’ve already had their souls separated from their bodies.”
“But we haven’t!” Todd gasped as insight took over.
“What are you talking about, Todd?” Gula groaned. “I don’t see how giving any of us a near-death experience is going to help.”
But the Sister of Gluttony was wrong. That was exactly what we needed to do.
“Hold on, Gula,” I said as I pondered the proposition. “I think the Toddster’s onto something.”
The redhead put her hands on her hips and cocked her head.
“I’m not following,” she admitted.
“Look,” I explained. “Shades are just souls separated from their Earthly bodies, right?”
“Right … ohhhhhhh.” Gula smiled as she caught on. “If they think you’re one of them, they won’t attack you.”
“Exactly,” Todd mused as he laid back and kicked up his feet on the edge of the boat. “See? Sometimes I do know what I’m talking about.”
“But how will you free Martatelli?” Ira asked curiously. “You’ll be in an astral form, so you won’t be able to interact with physical objects.”
“I don’t have to,” I continued, “I’ll still be
able to use my Hellfire to manipulated the environment around me.”
“That’s genius.” The slender, dark-haired succubus grinned. “I knew there was a reason I was following you.”
I turned to Invidia and gave her a slow nod.
“You know what to do, Vidia,” I commanded. “Hit me with your best shot.”
“Whatever,” Invidia sighed, rolled her eyes, and extended a glowing silver hand.
Then the Sister of Envy unleashed a beam of metallic fire, and the impact hit me like a ton of bricks.
The next thing I knew, I was floating above the boat, looking down at my own body as my friends surrounded it. I felt like I was totally weightless, as if my human body had been weighing me down with two-hundred pounds of deadweight.
“Go get ‘em, Jakey!” Todd called out into the sky, though he obviously couldn’t see my ghost.
I looked down at the water below, gulped down my worries, and then floated down into the abyss once more.
This time, there was nothing to it. The surface of the water didn’t break when I passed through it, nor did the liquid restrict my movement. I was floating downward, just like a ghost you’d see in an old-school cartoon.
The Shades looked over at me as I passed, but none of them made any attempt to grab me as I weaved through the different wheels.
It was working. This crazy-ass idea was actually working.
Finally, I approached Martatelli. Up close, the Shade looked like he was in even worse condition. His dark eyes were bulged out of his skull, his nose was twisted and broken, and every single finger on his hands had their fingernails ripped out.
The sight of the scientist in this way made me physically ill. And all of this was done in the name of the Exalted One. I really needed to talk to the big guy upstairs sometime about that.
That is, if I ever got out of Hell.
I summoned forth my own silver Hellfire and aimed it at the chains around Angelo’s wrists and ankles.
The metal shimmered in the flame before it began to liquefy. In seconds, the chains had been turned into nothing more than gray particles that floated away in the water.
Martatelli’s body was released from its prison, and the scientist’s mangled figure began to float up toward the surface.
I shot ahead of the Shade, popped up above the boat, and then gracefully lowered my astral form back down into my body. Suddenly, my eyes opened, and I flung myself up as I took a gasp of air.
“Jacob, you’re back!” Gula exclaimed as she wrapped me in a warm embrace.
“I’m not the only one who’s back,” I mused as I shook my head and pointed toward the water.
Martatelli’s body broke the surface with a weak splash as he began to scream out words in Italian.
I reached out, summoned green Hellfire into my hands, and delicately lifted the scientist out of the water. Then I pulled my hands toward my body, and the Shade’s mangled form followed my actions. Finally, I lowered Martatelli down into the one open spot on our boat and let out a deep sigh.
“We did it,” I whistled. “We fucking did it!”
I gave Todd and the succubi high fives as we celebrated our victory, and then I surrounded the boat with purple Hellfire.
It was time to go home.
“Very impressive,” I heard a deep, inhuman voice growl from above, and I nearly jumped out of the boat. “Too bad it was all for nothing.”
My team shot our eyes up toward the sky and gasped in surprise.
The goat-headed form of Baphomet appeared above us out of thin air.
I instantly reached for the Unhallowed Sword, grabbed it, and held it at the ready.
“What the fuck do you want, asshole?” I hissed at the demon. Since he and Beezlebub were allies, I knew his intentions were anything but good.
The goat-headed fucker just clicked his tongue. “Such malice,” he whistled. “It’s a damn shame you showed up when you did. I feel like we could have been best friends in another life.”
“Friends?” I shot back. “You and I are nothing alike, Baphomet!”
“More than you think, King of the Fourth Circle,” he grimaced. “Now, normally this is where I’d tear you and your friends apart and force your organs down each other’s throats. But I’m kind of busy right now doing ‘Demon King shit’ as you liked to call it.”
My heart sank into my stomach. He’d been watching this whole time.
“Well, that’s great!” Todd chuckled awkwardly. “If you got places to be, and we got places to be, then maybe we should all just be hitting the ‘ol dusty trail and--”
“Silence, imp!” Baphomet’s voice echoed across the entirety of the Fifth Circle. “I’m not going to kill you. But he is.”
The demon let out a cackle as he aimed his hand down at the water, summoned black Hellfire, and shot it down into the murky depths.
“See you around, ‘King Ralston,’” the goat-headed demon mused, and then he disappeared into thin air.
“What the fuck was that?” Ira demanded.
Suddenly, the surface of the water began to bubble, and I could see something approaching us from just beneath the surface.
Judging by the amount of waves it was creating, it was fucking massive.
“Hold on tight, guys,” I groaned and tightened my grip on the Unhallowed Sword. “It looks like we’ve got company.”
Chapter 11
“Uh, Jakey?” Todd observed as we watched the massive creature approach. “I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
The waves spread open around the beast’s gargantuan figure as it barrelled toward us with lightning-fast speed. Though this thing was mostly underwater, I could see two beady red eyes atop a pug-faced snout staring us down as it approached.
Then it lunged downward and disappeared from our view.
“Oh, not good,” I muttered and threw a huge orb of purple Hellfire around our position. “What the fuck is that thing?”
“It’s Tannin, the great sea beast of the Fifth Circle,” Ira explained. “Legend has it he can swallow a whole ship in a single bite.”
“Well, brace for impact,” I warned everyone, “because he’s about to try and make us his next snack!”
Martatelli began to panic and ramble in Italian, but I had no idea what the fuck he was saying. He probably didn’t know what we were talking about, either, but surely he understood the severity of the situation.
Then Tannin struck.
Massive waves shot up on each side of us, and there was an intense crash as our boat went airborne. The impact of the beast’s attack caused my spell to break, which sent the entire team flying in all directions.
Purple flames sprang out of the back of the succubi, and all three of them caught themselves with their elegant wings.
Todd let out a high pitched shriek before he surrounded himself with black Hellfire and floated to a halt.
Martatelli and me?
We weren’t so lucky.
As I tumbled downward, the monster breached the surface once more, ready to devour me. This time I saw his ugly mug in full. He was nearly as wide as a football field, with a flat snout, two glowing red eyes, and a circular mouth that took up the bulk of his body. His body was green and covered with leathery, bumpy flesh, and inside his mouth were hundreds of razor-sharp teeth arranged in circular rows. The lines of teeth stretched all the way down his gullet, all the way back past his car-sized uvula.
I threw down a barrier of purple Hellfire and braced myself for impact. Pain shot through my shoulder as I smashed into the enchanted platform and rolled to a stop. It may have hurt like Hell, but at least I wasn’t fish food.
Martatelli was screaming out some very vulgar-sounding Italian words as he fell through the sky, and I quickly used my free hand to engulf his body with telekinetic Hellfire. His descent screeched to a halt as he was picked up by the jade flames, and he slowly began to rise into the air.
The creature’s giant snout smashed into the bottom of my barrier, and
my whole body was tossed a few feet into the air. I landed safely back down on my hands and knees as Tannin fell back into the water, but the impact from the assault caused me to release my telekinetic spell.
Martatelli plummeted once more, and the creature would soon make another pass.
“I’ve got him, Jacob!” Invidia exclaimed as she darted down and grabbed the scientist in her arms.
I heard a loud crack as the succubus grabbed the mangled Shade, and he let out a wail of agony.
“How are we gonna take down Moby Dickless here?” Todd asked as he hovered down next to me.
“The same way we’ve killed so many other creatures down here, bro,” I said with a smile. “Lots of teamwork, and even more improvisation. First, we need to see if we can even use our spells on this fucking thing.”
The surface of the water erupted once more, and Tannin lurched up at us with a deep bellow.
This time, though, I was prepared.
I took a running start and then leapt off my violet platform seconds before the bastard hit the first one. Then I twisted myself around in the air, created a second platform beneath me, and then landed softly on its glowing surface. While the monster’s figure was still in the air, I threw out both of my hands and summoned forth all of the telekinetic Hellfire I could muster.
The glowing emerald flames surrounded Tannin’s body, but the second I had him in my grasp, I was forced to my knees. This bastard was heavy, and the flickering of the violet spell beneath me let me know I wasn’t going to be able to hold him for very much longer.
Thankfully, my friends took the hint.
“Smile, you sonofabitch!” Todd screamed, and he unleashed a flurry of baseball-sized fireballs as he dive-bombed the beast.
At the same time, Gula and Ira joined in on the fun.
The Sister of Wrath tossed turquoise spell after turquoise spell in an attempt to burn the creature’s flesh. The attack was striking Tannin with a sizzle, but it didn’t seem to be doing much damage.
Gula had her battle axe in hand as she flew up into the sky, dived back down, and struck at Tannin’s right fin with her blade. The axe sliced about halfway through the creature’s fin before it became lodged in his leathery skin, and the sudden halt to Gula’s momentum caused her to lose her grip and go somersaulting through the sky.
