by Eric Vall
Without warning, a blast of Hellfire struck the imp square in the chest. He flew back through the air, smashed into a tomb so hard it made a small dent, and then crumpled to the ground.
“Todd!” Sia gasped.
“M-Matlock totally didn’t prepare me for that, bro,” Todd joked weakly, and then his head fell unconscious to the ground.
“Enough of your games, ‘King Ralston,’” Temeluchas sneered. “You are trespassing on Gressil’s domain. For that, you will pay the ultimate price.”
All across the landscape, tombs began to open randomly. From each of these sarcophagi jumped demons that stood nearly seven feet tall, all with the muscles of a bodybuilder. Their skin was as pale as ash, and the sun glistened off their bald heads. Their eyes were sunken and black, and every one of the grunts’ right hands were replaced by a short, metal, three-pronged spear.
The ghastly-looking fuckers made their way over to our position and took their place behind the flaming spirit.
“Tartaruchi,” Temeluchas explained. “The keepers of Hell, also known as ‘Lucifer’s little helpers.’ I hope this journey was worth it, King Ralston. Because there will be no journey back.”
“Look on the bright side,” Libidine tried to make light of the situation as she walked up beside me and summoned yellow flames into her hand. “At least that’s one-hundred less tombs to open.”
Chapter 16
“Sia!” I commanded the succubus madame. “Heal up Todd and Martatelli. Liby and Eligor, help me flank these motherfuckers.”
“What about me, master?” Ira’s sub purred.
“We need a distraction. You do … whatever the fuck it is you do,” I conceded. “Make ‘em hurt.”
“Oh, it’s gonna be quite the opposite,” the dark-haired sub explained. “They’re gonna make me hurt, and it’s gonna be faaaabulous!”
Without another word, the succubus sprinted directly at Temeluchas and his miniature army. Before she could even get close enough to attack him with her whip, her entire body was engulfed with a blast of red-hot Hellfire. The sub fell to her knees, looked up at the demon, and let out a soft groan.
“Is that all you’ve got?” she nearly moaned. “I’ve had indigestion that burned more than that!”
Temeluchas growled angrily and then blasted the sub with another bout of Hellfire.
While she had the demon’s attention, Eligor, Liby, and I darted off in three different directions.
I came around the right side of the pale demons, and it didn’t take long for the first one to notice me.
The Tartaruchi warrior let out an inhuman hiss as he raised his pronged hand and charged at me with murder in his eyes. Four more of his brethren joined in the assault, but I was quick on the draw.
I blasted the nearest one with a shot of red Hellfire, and his entire body was tossed backward like a ragdoll as a basketball-sized hole appeared in his chest.
The other four demons were within striking distance, and I had to think fast on my feet. With my left hand, I threw up a small barrier of purple Hellfire and dispelled one of the blows. With the other hand, I tossed out a small green portal directly in front of the second demon’s strike.
His three-pronged hand reappeared to the left of the fourth demon’s head, and then the tiny spears jabbed through his head like it was a balloon filled with gore.
I wasn’t able to block the third Tartaruchi’s blow, but thankfully it struck me in the armored steel of my breastplate. The weapon lodged itself into the metal that protected my vital organs, and I had the bastard right where I wanted him.
In one swift motion, I reached down, grabbed the goat-headed dagger from my belt, and stabbed it into the demon’s eye. The blade made a wet “shlock” sound as the point of my blade skewered his iris and pushed all the way through to his brain. I pulled back the dagger, and the Tartaruchi fell to the ground, dead.
I didn’t have time to celebrate. There were still two more of the fuckers to deal with.
One of the remaining assailants lashed out at me again with his trident, but I was able to dodge backward and out of the way. At the same time I turned the other Tartaruchi into a demonic pincushion with a handful of glowing yellow shuriken.
I flipped my goat-headed dagger into my other hand and began to stab the final demon in the stomach in rapid succession.
Blood sprayed out of the Tartarcuhi’s stomach as if it had been turned into a strainer filled with viscera, and then he fell over and clutched his wounds as he bled out.
I looked up to survey the battlefield, and I saw Libidine had gone airborne.
The Sister of Lust dive-bombed the Tartaruchi as she unleashed handful after handful of yellow daggers. As she approached ground level, Liby summoned a large yellow spear into her hands and stabbed it into the closest target she could find.
One of the pale demons flailed as the succubus picked him up by his skewered neck, but then he went limp as gravity separated the rest of his tendons and muscles from his body.
Meanwhile, I could just make out Eligor as the knight tore through the crowd with her swords. Spouts of blood sprayed up into the sky as she pushed through the Tartaruchi horde, intermixed with the occasional clash of metal against metal.
All the way back at our original position, a newly-healed Todd was on his feet next to Superbia. The imp was hurling fireballs nearly as fast as an assault rifle fired bullets, and Sia was using her black Hellfire to strangle some of the Tartaruchi to death.
A group of the demon fuckers had surrounded Ira’s sub, and they were going to town on her with everything they had. Little did they know, of course, that the succubus was having the time of her life.
But wait, where was Temeluchas?
Unfortunately, the demon’s stealth tactics were severely lacking. I felt the intense heat that radiated off Temeluchas long before I saw him, and I quickly rolled out of the way as a blast of Hellfire struck the ground beside me.
I unsheathed the Unhallowed Sword from my belt as I leapt back onto my feet and turned to face the fire demon.
Temeluchas was standing directly behind me, with his body aglow with shimmering red Hellfire and his beady black eyes frozen in a look of anger.
“Did you really think I was going to let my minions have all the fun?” he mused. “I want to be the one to see the life drain from your eyes, King Ralston. I look forward to telling Gressil how you begged and pleaded for your sorry mortal life before I ended it.”
“Not a chance, asshole,” I growled as I formulated a plan.
I could almost guarantee my red Hellfire was useless against this guy, and I didn’t see my yellow spell faring much better. Maybe I could try to smother the fucker? I wasn’t sure exactly how the laws of physics applied to magical demon flames, but it was worth a shot.
I threw up a wall of purple fire as Temeluchas unleashed his next attack, and the red flames ricocheted off my spell harmlessly. I started to push my large barrier forward, but the demon’s attack pushed back with equal force. I let out a loud scream of frustration as I thought about what was at stake here.
If I didn’t defeat these bastards, they were going to kill me and all my friends. Best case scenario, we would be forced to retreat, and we may never get a shot at finding the Porta ad Terram ever again.
I wasn’t going to let that happen.
I let out another deep growl as I increased the power of my blast, and then my spell finally began to overtake Temeluchas’. I pushed back against the demon until the purple wall was right up next to his body, and then I struck.
I made a folding motion with my hands, and the large wall of violet fire bent around Temeluchas’ body on all sides. If I couldn’t hurt him with my spells while he was on fire, then I was just going to have to snuff out his flames first. I moved my hands toward each other, palm-open, and the makeshift prison began to close around the fiery demon.
Temeluchas was forced into the fetal position as the walls closed around him, but he was able to push back wit
h his own fire just enough to keep himself from being crushed.
“Come on,” I grumbled aloud. “Fucking go out.”
The fire demon screamed something to his followers, and a small band of Tartaruchi turned their attention back to me. They hissed as their massive frames dashed toward our position with their skewers at the ready.
Fuck it. I was gonna have to be more creative than that if I wanted to kill this guy.
I released the purple spell and drew my sword. I lopped off the first Tartaruchi’s head with a swing of my blade, and then I quickly ducked as the three-pronged weapon stabbed at my throat. Still in a full crouch, I spun around with my enchanted sword and took out the legs of the demons who’d surrounded me.
Blood spilled onto the ground as their tendons were severed and they collapsed to their knees. Before they could make another move, I threw a handful of shuriken into their skulls and put them out of their misery.
I flipped around just in time to throw up another wall of purple Hellfire and avoid getting turned into human charcoal by Temeluchas. I felt my heels dig into the sandy ground behind me as I tried to push back against the demon’s assault, but he definitely had the upper hand on this one.
Then I remembered the old adage: that sometimes the best offense is a good defense.
I pulled my protective spell back into my body and formed my suit of Hellfire armor just as I was consumed by the blazing inferno. Sure enough, when the flames finally settled, I was still all in one piece.
And adorned with a badass suit of glowing purple armor.
“W-What?” Temeluchas gasped. “How did you … Demon Kings can’t even pull off that sorcery!”
“I’ve got news for you, starburst,” I hissed and readied the Unhallowed Sword. “I am a fucking Demon King.”
I dashed toward the fire demon, leapt into the air, and struck at him with my pitch-black blade. My attack hit Temeluchas right at his mid-torso, but it simply smacked into his ribcage and sent him tumbling to the side.
“Damn it!” I cursed under my breath.
This guy really wasn’t playing games. He really was immune to every type of Hellfire.
The next thing I knew, Temeluchas came up swinging. I felt his fist strike the side of my enchanted helmet, and my head snapped to the side from the impact. I stumbled to the right, dragged my sword off the ground, and took another shot at the demon.
Temeluchas caught my blade in his hand, and then I doubled over in pain as his fist struck me in the gut. The demon unleashed another blast of red Hellfire at point-blank range and flung me across the landscape like a discarded cigarette butt.
I hit the ground hard and tumbled for a few seconds as the taste of gritty Earth filled my mouth. Finally, I rolled to a stop and tried to get the world to stop spinning.
“Hey-ya, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed. “I didn’t think you were gonna join the party.”
The imp splattered the brains out of an incoming Tartaruchi with a small fireball, and then he blasted another one in the dick. The pale demon fell to his knees and grabbed his crotch, and then the imp zipped over and finished him off with a swipe of his razor-sharp claws.
Meanwhile, Superbia had a massive pile of dead demons lying in front of her. The redhead blasted another one with her fear magic, lifted them into the air, and watched with glee as its face turned purple.
Then there was Angelo, who sat cowering behind a rock and mumbling to himself in Italian.
“Rrrrralston!” Temeluchas roared as he rocketed toward us.
“Sia, new plan!” I called out to the succubus madame. “Hit that demon with your black Hellfire, every ounce of strength you’ve got. Todd, do you think you can handle all these incoming Tartaruchi?”
“Totally, bro,” Todd mused, “just call me the pimp, because I’m about to make all these guys my bitches! But I’m gonna need a sidekick. Marty, get over here!”
When Angelo didn’t respond, Todd dashed over to the scientist and yanked him to his feet. Martatelli tried to protest, but Todd cut him off with a wave of his hand.
“I don’t-a speak-a the Italiaan,” the imp explained in his best Mario accent. “Now lets-a-go!”
The two turned back toward the charging demons and began to run toward the onslaught.
Superbia tossed another dead demon onto the pile and then turned to face the incoming fire spirit. She summoned black Hellfire into her hands, clapped them together, and blasted at Temeluchas with a beam of dark magic.
The attack hit the fire demon mid-flight, and his eyes went wide as he suddenly lost his momentum and fell out of the sky. His body rolled right at me, so I readied the Unhallowed Sword.
“Batter up!” I mused and took a swing at the demon.
My blade crashed into the fucker and caused him to let out a shriek of pain. His body changed trajectory, and then he flipped up and landed on his feet.
“Looks like you’re not so invincible after all,” I mocked. “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”
The fire demon tried to speak, but all that came out was a dull wheeze.
Sia’s spell was working its magic, and the bastard was getting weaker by the second.
I ran at Temeluchas and took a stab at him with the point of my sword, but he was able to sidestep the attack. I brought the weapon upward in a diagonal motion, sliced it across his left arm, and then quickly slugged the fucker in the face.
Temeluchas fell onto his ass as steam erupted from his wound.
That was definitely a new one.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of pink Hellfire, and a bunch of Tartaruchi were thrown in all directions. Ira’s sub stood up, surrounded by golden flames, and cracked her neck.
“That was disappointing,” she sighed. “You all have those fancy pronged hands, but you don’t even have the slightest idea on how to use them.”
The sub went to work with her glowing red whip, and I turned my attention back to the struggling fire demon.
I jabbed at the fucker again, but this time I was able to hit him right in his left shoulder. Steam shot out of Temeluchas’ wound like it was pressure-released, and the demon let out a wail of pain.
“Caaaazzzooooo!” Angelo cursed as his body came careening through the sky out of nowhere.
The scientist smashed into Sia, and her concentration was lost. The black Hellfire disappeared from around Temeluchas’ body, and I quickly raised the Unhallowed Sword to go in for the killing blow.
The fire demon pulled his head and arms into his body, focused his energy, and then knocked me away with an intense pulse of Hellfire.
I rolled through the dirt, sprang to my feet, and summoned green flames into my hands. I threw up a portal as the demon blasted at me again, but his attack just vanished into the interdimensional gateway and then reappeared directly over his body.
The beam of red Hellfire struck Temeluchas, but it didn’t quite have the effect I was looking for. Instead of hurting him or at least knocking him down, the blast was absorbed into his body. It was almost as if he were charging up.
The demon readied an even more powerful attack as I tried to figure out how the fuck I was going to take him down.
Then a glowing green boulder smashed the bastard down into the ground.
Eligor floated above the massive rock on her black angel wings, and then she gave me a wink.
“I figured you needed a hand,” she mused. “Plus, Liby and I killed most of the Tartaruchi over there, so I was getting a bit bored.”
“Speak for yourself, Goldilocks!” Todd gasped as he zipped over beside her. “Angelo and I are getting our asses kicked!”
I looked over and saw he was right.
The remaining Tartaruchi were now holding Martatelli above their heads, and four of the demons stretched his appendages in opposite directions.
Angelo cursed in Italian as Sia tried to save him, but there were far too many demons left for the succubus to handle.
I ran over to the small gathering of Tarta
ruchi and whistled to get their attention. I unleashed a handful of yellow shuriken into the crowd and killed a few of the fuckers. But, more importantly, I got the attention of the rest of the survivors.
They tossed Martatelli up into the air, and Libidine zipped over and plucked him out of the sky.
There were only about twenty of the demon grunts left.
Soon there would be zero.
I sheathed my sword, summoned purple Hellfire into my hands, and then created two massive walls around the remaining demons. Then I slowly brought my hands together, and the walls followed suit.
The Tartaruchi were able to use their combined strength to hold back the walls and keep them from turning them into a gory pulp, but that was never my end goal.
I released the spell in one hand, called forth my silver Hellfire, and reached out to the prongs that jutted out of their arms. I could feel the metal turning into liquid as I ordered it to rise up above the demons’ position. Soon, there was a large puddle of shimmering liquid metal in between the enchanted walls.
I ordered the metal to stretch out the full length of my barriers and sharpen its bottom edge into a sharp wedge. Now, I essentially had a twenty-foot long guillotine.
The Tartaruchi began to panic and push toward either end of the narrow hallway, but it was too late.
I released the metal from my spell and let gravity take over.
The giant blade struck the group of Tartaruchi, and a huge splash of blood sprayed up into the air, accompanied by a loud “crunch.”
I de-cast my protective spell and took in the damage.
Several of the demons were now laying on the ground, writhing in pain. Some of them were missing limbs, while others had been cut clean in half by the falling blade. Others laid in a crumpled heap of protruding bones and pulpy flesh.
If they weren’t dead already, they sure as fuck would be soon.
